Esme

"Oh, Emmett, for God's sake – leave me alone!"

"Rose, what have I done wrong?"

"You know damn well what you did!"

She sped up the stairs, Emmett following worriedly. The others trailed in, Alice kissing my cheek as she danced past.

"Hi, Esme! How's life?"

"Pretty good, pretty good. Jasper, what's going on with those two?"

"I'm getting anger from Rose, frustration and mirth from Emmett. But you could have guessed that."

Edward spoke up next, the hint of a smirk playing on his lips. "Rosalie told Emmett that he was a brainless brute, and that she'd leave him if he didn't treat her with a bit of respect. Which is bullshit, of course."

Jasper swallowed a grin. "Which part of it?"

"I'd like to think all. But recently discovered evidence is pointing towards the fact that -"

"Edward..." I warned.

He smiled at me. "Sorry, Mum."

They were all so frustrating. They knew that any anger could be quenched by that word.

A voice came down the stairs: "Oh, for Christ's sake, Rosalie Cullen! You're such a child!"

A door slammed, and Emmett stormed down into the living room. He fell onto the couch and ground his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"That girl..." he muttered.

I decided that he would talk when he wanted to, and not before. His brothers' intervention would just irritate him further.

"So, boys, how was school?"

"Alright."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Wow, sounds fantastic! Did you learn anything new and exciting?" I tried, and failed, to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. My boys, I was sure, knew the syllabus of their school back to front. Perhaps better than the teachers did.

"Esme. Honestly. In Biology we were doing the structure of DNA. Again." Edward sighed and rolled his eyes.

Make that probably.

Jasper gave his input. "In English, we were analysing To Kill A Mockingbird. Did you know, they say that the greater comprehension that comes from analysing books aids you in a greater appreciation of the novel? Just for the record, I don't think that's true at all."

Emmett spoke up in the background. "We were doing anti-differentiation in Calculus."

"Was that interesting?"

"Nah. Not really. Can't say that I haven't done it before. But I have to pretend that I haven't. Otherwise they'd give me more homework."

He groaned, contemplating the time he'd have to put in to complete the work he'd been given that day. It may well take him... half an hour. If he didn't try.

I tried to figure out a way to get the conversation back onto Emmett and Rosalie. I had to admit, I was curious. Edward met my eyes and smiled wickedly.

"So Emmett, remind me: what exactly happened between you and Rose?"

Emmett groaned. "She's ridiculous, that woman. She really is. It's not like it was anything important."

Edward and Jasper smirked. I was obviously missing something.

"So what was it?"

"I smiled at a girl today. That's all. This girl smiled at me, and I smiled at her, and then in Geography, Rose was bored and wasn't paying attention, and she answered a question wrong. And it's not like I laughed to be mean. I laughed 'cause I'm a happy person."

I could see where this was going.

"So, class is over and we're walking out, and I was juggling my books, and I dropped one. And Rose stubs her toe on it. And all I said was that I wouldn't have. And she freaked out at me."

"Sorry... why did she 'freak out' exactly?"

"Those weren't exactly the words he used," Jasper grinned, remembering the afternoon. "It was more something along the lines of: 'My God, Rose, why are you such a klutz today? You got a question wrong and you almost tripped on something. Why don't you just take a leaf out of my book?'"

"I see..." I murmured. "Oh well, you're big kids now, so you're going to have to work this out by yourselves."

"Esme, I didn't mean to offend her. I really didn't. But you know what she's like. Once she gets in a mood, there's no stopping her! I've tried apologising and everything. I get the feeling that she's going to be horrible to me. I really do."

"Well, you're just going to have to take it, aren't you?"

Alice appeared at the doorway. "How was your day, Esme?"

"It was pretty good. I was planning to make use that new cookbook that woman in the bookshop convinced me to buy, and do some pasta or something, just to practise, but Tess of the d'Urbervilles got in the way. I finished it though, which was good. Oh, and I worked on my dissertation."

I'd recently begun a correspondence course, which would result in a long-awaited Law degree. That was one qualification that I didn't have yet. Maybe I'd get a job the next time we moved.

Alice smiled. "That's cool." She turned to Emmett. "She's coming in a minute. Just so you know."

"Just perfect. That's just freaking fabulous." He began to pace the room, a nervous habit that he had kept from his old life.

Rosalie materialized. "Emmett, honey, I've been thinking..."

Emmett looked at her nervously, affection plain in his eyes. "Rose, I've been thinking. And I'm really sorry for being so rude before. I am, I swear."

"I know, Emmett. I know. But it did hurt me... Luckily, I've thought up a way to settle it once and for all."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that? You going to force me to grovel? Or paint your toenails? Or paint my toenails?"

"No, no... Of course not! I'd never do that. I just thought I'd challenge you to a little battle of the wits."

"All right... What did you have in mind?"

"How about... Trivial Pursuit?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jasper and Edward high-fiving.