Author's Notes: Yes, I know I've been away for awhile. I'd like to say it wasn't my fault but it was almost entirely my fault. I didn't mean to be gone for so long though, and I'm shocked people are still reviewing and reading my stuff even though I don't have a reputation for reliability with my updates. Still, thank you for your support and here's your reward. Tosh's one took a lot longer than I thought, I had the basic idea down but everytime I would try to write it, it turned out to be shit. Sorry, but now it's finally done and I hope you all like it. I'll try to update more regularly from now on.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Torchwood, if I did, I'd bring back Ianto. Really, it's not that hard! You've got alien tech coming out of your ears, RTD!

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to telephone your ex-lovers at one o'clock in the morning.

There was nothing like getting shit-faced drunk after work with your mates especially two days before your birthday. It was a time of laughter and fun, a chance to unwind from the mediocre workday, especially when it was Friday. The pub was packed with smoking, drinking and loud people each with their own group of friends and the scent of stale beer and chips permeated the atmosphere.

Toshiko Sato was alone. At a pub. Drinking herself into oblivion. There were no friends, no colleagues and definitely no boyfriend with her. She was pretty enough, no deliberating tumours jutting out of her cheekbones, no twins growing out of her shoulder but for some reason, she was alone. And she was bitter about it. It's not that Tosh expected a lot from her life but she always thought that she could at least find someone to drink with after work. Even if they couldn't exactly be considered 'friends' her colleagues had never let her down before.

Usually there was Ianto, eager to please and more than willingly to keep her company as she lamented her bad relationships and how she was considered an old maid by her family. She would whine how she would never get married or have a family and move into a townhouse with a pink fence and big windows that let the light in. Ianto would pat her on the back and say how she was beautiful and that she would meet someone one day who would see how special she was. Ianto was always there for encouragement.

There was always Jack. Jack who would tell her stories and buy her thousands of drinks and make her laugh. He had the best stories and the dirtiest ones. Jack was a very good drinking buddy but he wasn't available. Jack had gone to talk to UNIT and taken Owen with him. Ianto was too busy trying to reorganize the Archives. And Gwen...Gwen couldn't be counted on to tell outrageous stories or offer sympathy, Gwen was riding high on marital bliss. When she came in to work in the mornings, Tosh was sure she would get a sugar rush from her sweet smile. Nothing was amiss in Gwen's world.

Lucky.

Tosh sucked back the rest of her drink; something that tasted awful but gave her a wonderful warm feeling as it slid down her throat. Her fingers fumbled clumsily on the buttons as she punched them into her cellphone. She didn't even have to look at her contact list, she had memorised the number and remembered it after all these years.

She ordered another drink while she waited, her phone pressed eagerly to her ear.

"H'lo?" A sleepy voice answered after a few minutes.

"Connor?" Tosh couldn't keep the eagerness out of her voice. "It's Tosh, Toshiko. Sato."

"Okay," the voice muttered. "What the hell are you calling me at-" There was a pause as Connor undoubtedly checked the clock. "At one in the fucking morning."

"I wanted to talk to you, I was lonely." Tosh said, taking a sip of her new drink. This one was pink instead of bronze and tasted vaguely of strawberries and vodka. She took another happy sip even as her head began to pound and things began to blur together.

"Lonely?" Connor said in disbelief, his voice still heavy with sleep. "Tosh...how did you even remember this number, we haven't spoken in years."

"How could I forget? I spent all night memorizing it, nearly failed my Chemistry final." Tosh giggled loudly causing a few heads to look up.

"Right, well can't you call someone else then?" Connor pleaded.

"Can't. There's no one." Tosh shook her head and nearly toppled off her chair. The world tipped crazily but she ignored it.

"Not even a boyfriend?"

"Well there's Ianto but he's usually too busy shagging Jack." Tosh said thoughtfully.

"...Your boyfriend's shagging a guy? How long has this been going on?"

"Oh, since Jack killed Ianto's girlfriend I suppose. Could have been longer though."

"Jack...killed someone!?" Connor said incredulously, more awake now.

"Well, I guess but not really. Ianto's girlfriend was a cyborg-thing. Jack really just pulled the plug."

Tosh frowned at her empty glass and pushed it off to the side, intending to order another one later when she wasn't feeling so sick.

"Fine... then call Ianto then." Connor sighed in defeat.

"I told you he's shagging Jack....hang on, that's not right. Ianto's at work, Jack left with Owen two days ago. They went up to London."

"Jack left with Owen? Who the bloody hell is Owen?! And does he know that Jack's cheating on Ianto with him, and that Ianto's cheating on you with Jack? Christ, this is worse than Skins!" Connor swore explosively.

Tosh could imagine the vein pulsing in his forehead even though she couldn't see him. She couldn't see much of anything; it was all blurry and looked like ink blots. Maybe her glasses were dirty?

"Owen wasn't too happy about it, especially when Jack forced him to sleep with him. Owen's been complaining for days. I think Jack might shoot him before the weekends up." Tosh reached up a hand to take off her spectacles until she realised that she wasn't wearing them. Oops.

"Look- Tosh-" Connor said wearily.

"Connor...who're you talking to?" Another voice said, sleepily.

Tosh's eyes widened, "who's that?"

"My wife...go back to sleep, Sandra. I'll hang up in a minute."

"You're married!" Tosh screeched.

"Yes, and I should've done this the minute you answered. You're obviously mad. Good night, Tosh."

"B-but I love you! You stupid bastard now I remember why I broke up with you." Tosh said viciously into the phone.

"I broke up with you. Now it's been seven years since then. So let's just pretend this conversation didn't actually happen, just go back to your cheating boyfriends and the one who killed some robot thing and let me go back to my life. It doesn't even matter really; I'm guessing you're too drunk to really understand what I'm saying anyways."

Tosh stared at the phone in shock as the dial tone rang through her ears.

How dare he! The stupid bastard! Tosh had half a mind to call him back but the she couldn't see the numbers on her phone anymore and her fingers kept slipping. Tosh giggled as her head collided with the table.

Connor had thought she was dating Ianto. How silly.

--

Jack had gotten the call from Danny, the bartender at Willy's, the pub the team usually frequented that Tosh had spent most of the night drinking and could Jack please come and get her since it was closing time and he really wanted to go home?

Well, how could Jack refuse so desperate a man?

He sauntered in and smiled at the adorable picture Toshiko made. Her head was pillowed on her arms and there was a thin trail of drool dripping down the side of her mouth and drenching her arm. He wrinkled his nose at the smell and gently shook her shoulder. After a few minutes, Tosh blearily opened her eyes and staring up at his blinding smile.

"Jack?" She asked hoarsely.

"Hey, looks like you had quite a night." He said, keeping one hand on her shoulder.

"You're supposed to be in London," Tosh blinked owlishly.

"Owen and I got a ticket out early, couldn't miss your birthday dinner tomorrow night could I?" He smiled down at her rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.

"Ianto was busy so I drank alone. Thought no one wanted to drink with me." Tosh said to herself. She looked up at Jack, "what do you mean birthday dinner?"

"That's what Ianto's been doing, we were supposed to be helping but then UNIT called and we had to leave it all to him. Hopefully he managed to sort everything out, though knowing Ianto." Jack trailed of unnecessarily when she saw Tosh's eyes close.

"Alright well let's get you home." He said, putting one hand around her waist to support her. Tosh lurched uneasily to her feet, her legs felt like jell-o and she kept her face pressed into Jack's chest, trying to keep her nausea at bay. Jack held her tightly while she regained her balance and then started towards the exit.

"Jack?" Tosh asked suddenly

"Hmm?"

"I think I called my ex-boyfriend from university." Tosh said, screwing up her face in confusion. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy, a sure sign that she was on her way to hangover land.

"Happens to be the best of us, sweetheart. Don't worry, I'll get Ianto to retcon him in the morning."

"Oh, good."