Just one this week, mostly due to my having found this old file in the archives. Real Life has been hard on me this week. Hoping to get more out next week. Enjoy.

This challenge comes from a conversation with Valentine Meikin, whom I have had many curious ideas spawn from our talks. As with other challenges, the challenge is at the bottom.

Kakashi looked over his new genin squad curiously as they sat upon the roof, soaking up the sunshine. To say that they were not what he expected upon reading their files would be a massive understatement. Though perhaps this wasn't so horrible.

First, the girl was wore a white lab coat over what appeared to be blood stained scrubs. Judging by the distance that the two boys were giving her, those stains weren't just decoration. The book on advanced surgery practices that she was thumbing through and giggling over like he would over the latest Icha Icha was disturbing to say the least.

Next came the Uchiha, dear kami in heaven, the Uchiha. There were no words to describe all that was wrong with him. From the dark brown robe, to the shaved bald head, to the flowers that he was weaving into a necklace, he was nothing like his profile stated at all.

But the biggest change from the profile would have to be the blonde prankster prince of Konoha. Gone was the orange jumpsuit, and in its place was an outfit that wouldn't have been out of place on some of the chuunin that run the mission room or academy. In fact the dark blue shirt and pants, with light green vest was nearly identical to the one that Kakashi himself wore. If it wasn't for a few less pockets on the fest, and a couple less hidden sheaths in the arms, he would have thought it was a jounin outfit. But it was the chuunin outfit without a doubt, and very serviceable. He just couldn't figure out why the boy had several scrolls next to him, that he was reading and taking notes on. It looked like primarily chakra theory, but he couldn't be entirely certain.

"Maa... I think it's time for some introductions..." Kakashi started as he looked over the group, picking one at random, he called out. "How about you Dr. Pinkenstein?"

"Ah, sensei, would you be so kind as to give us an example of what you're looking for?" the girl asked uncertainly as she looked at her two suddenly more distant teammates. "We know each other from the Academy, but don't know anything about you..."

"Oh... me?" Kakashi paused, thinking how cute it was that she was trying to be smart with him. "Well... my name is Hatake Kakashi... I have no desire to tell you my likes and dislikes... dreams for the future... hmm," he cut off, as though pausing in thought for a brief moment before continuing as though he'd given an answer. "And I have lots of hobbies."

"Very concise and gives a good baseline of expectations, while not revealing any information that an enemy nin might use against you, overall I suppose it would be a C+ effort. However, as this situation is meant to be an example to us of your expectations, it would be a failing on your part as an instructor," Naruto stated casually as he set aside his scrolls. "Sorry, but I believe that your performance would lead to unnecessary antagonism of us."

"That is not the way of peace Brother Uzumaki, perhaps you might raise his grade a bit?" the Uchiha offered with a calming tone to his voice. "What are your thoughts Sister Haruno?"

One trip to the brainwashing deprogramming room for the Uchiha was in order it seemed, however the alarming giggling out of the pink haired kunoichi was a bit more worrying to him. "Oh yes! Perfect, I have more than enough of an audio sample to suit my latest experiment!"

A couple clicks he watched her pull something out which produced his voice that said, "I'm a pretty princess, and will marry Gai-kun!"

"Really not liking you Princess... so you can start," Kakashi snapped as a kunai removed the device from her hand and into oblivion where such a vile, unholy thing belonged.

"Thankfully that was just the remote prototype! But the advances of medical recovery for those who have lost their vocal chords will not be swayed by such a minor inconvenience, not for the medical genius of the one and only Sakura Haruno!" the pink haired girl proclaimed with a laugh that sent a shiver up Kakashi's spine. Her hair had been pulled up into a pink crown of six legs with two more ponytails looking like crab-claws that spoke of a familiarity to him, but he couldn't quite place it. "As soon as my doctorate is approved by the sluggards at the hospital review board, I will be on my path to becoming the greatest medical mind in the world!"

"Right..." Kakashi mused as he made a mental note that she would be in the psyche ward soon enough.

"She's currently working on dissecting the White Strength Seal of the previous greatest," Naruto explained without looking up from his work, "She's doing pretty well, from what I can understand."

"Ah thank you," Kakashi stated with a great amount of worry as he realized just what she was talking about. If she could figure that out, or worse improve upon it, that would make her claims true. "How about you, oh silent cultist?"

"I am Brother Uchiha, of the united Church of Peace and Harmony," the boy said with a casual manner as he held out his flower necklace to Sakura, who put it on as though it wasn't completely and utterly wrong for a ninja to be that at peace with the world. "It is my hope that I can guide you and the rest of this team from the path of destruction and vice, and onto the truth of peace."

There was peace. Absolute complete and utter silence. A pin could have dropped as Kakashi tried to digest what was going on. "Umm... Next." He eventually stated after what seemed like a hour. Those mental restarts seemed to be getting slower all the time.

"Good day, I am Naruto Uzumaki, and I hope to one day become an instructor at the academy, much the same as my hero: Iruka Umino," Naruto stated in a patient, kindly lecturer's tone. One that had Kakashi impressed since he'd heard the boy talking over the years in an annoying voice.

"Brother Uzumaki, I thought you wanted to become the Hokage," Sasuke observed, curious, "Everyone in the academy heard you."

"Yeah, but I found out so much in the past couple hours that caused me to change my goals until such time as it is reasonable to increase the scope," Naruto explained with a kindly smile as Kakashi started thinking about finding the profile writers to strangle them for the absolute cock-up that was the profiles that he'd been given.

A nameless civilian sneezed, scattering papers in the records office as he wondered why he'd felt someone walking on his grave.

"And what are these 'truths' that you have discovered?" Kakashi asked, plotting out the various ways to hide the body.

"Aside from the fact that I... well I have something about me that would lead to others never understanding or accepting me as the Hokage," Naruto explained with a sad expression on his face as he looked down at his stomach, a motion not lost upon the jounin. "I found someone that accepts me despites hating that problem. Someone that knows about the loneliness and why I turned to pranks in my past. I hope to give someone that same understanding in the future. But that is nowhere near the primary reason for the change of goals... that has been several years in development however."

"And what is that reason?" Kakashi asked, feeling bad about having abandoned the kid for so long out of the pain of seeing his sensei's face every day.

"Paperwork," the blonde stated with a finality that spoke of the matter being closed. Though Kakashi could understand it, and Sakura seemed to nod in agreement, the Uchiha seemed utterly lost and confused. Taking pity on the cultist, Naruto smiled. "Imagine if you will this scenario Sasuke: When the Uchiha massacre occurred, the Hokage had to sign in triplicate the following; the deeds for every house, property, and business the Uchiha clan claimed to their lone survivor. These then had to be sent to the village council of elders, the ANBU, and the housing department. After that, he had to argue with those same organization against having you carted off to one of what they consider 'safe' places. Then he had to write letters of mourning for every Uchiha that died for the files even if they could not be delivered. After all that was done, he had to settle a minor border dispute, renew three peace treaties, send messages to fourteen deep cover agents, and also eat something. I'm pretty sure that more than once he was working while asleep, but I never figured out how."

"And how do you know this?" Kakashi asked in surprise, knowing that the truth of the Hokage position was a closely guarded secret, mostly so that someone else would always been ignorant enough to take the position in the future.

Naruto smiled warmly at the man before answering, "I was the person that brought him his meals."

"As you can see, the Hokage basically has every last bit of information that passes through any ninja under him across to his desk at least once per day," Kakashi explained with sad look to his eye and a slight shrug. He really did have to worry about the security of the village's secrets, but at this point it seemed somewhat moot. He was going to get an earful about this later, but for now he'd just give his students the best information he could.

"And that is why I'm joining the organization to persuade one of the greatest jounins of the age to become the Hokage. Since their other options are a lecherous drunk, and a drunken gambler. So I would like your support for the Kakashi Hatake for Hokage organization, not-for-profit."

"Meet me at Training Ground Six tomorrow afternoon just after lunch. Don't eat lunch or you'll be sick." Kakashi declared sharply.

"As you command Future Hokage-sama!" Naruto crowed happily as he saluted.

Kakashi then disappeared, in order to kill the records clerk and get declared a nuke-nin so he'd not need to deal with his team ever again. He was NOT going to become Hokage in his or anyone else's lifetime. He would drag Tsunade back by her pig's curly tail if he had to! He had a reputation to uphold!

Challenge: Naruto doesn't want to be the Hokage, he and the others want to be known as sensei.