A/N: Hola! I am back with another oneshot! Yay! :D This has been in the works for over 3-4 months. Seriously. I've just been stricken with relentless bouts of writer's block, which really sucks sometime D: But anyways, the point is that I've finally finished it! This was going to be angsty, but I just can't write angst so I added fluff. THEN I just had to go and read 210 and 211, which actually made me shed a tear (and I swear I've never cried for books in my life :P), so I had to write the blurb at the end. Oh yes, and for those who are reading Fairytale Gone Horribly Wrong, no worries, because I have that Word document open and will be writing more right after I post this :) Hopefully I'll finish that chappie in a few days :3 Ah, you should stop reading this A/N. On with the fic! :D
Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE
Magician
In all technicality, Fai D. Fluorite, prince of Valeria and wizard of Celes, is a true magician. Magic pulses throughout his body like blood, a far greater amount than what most could only dream of. It ebbs and flows, coming to full strength when needed and leaving only a faint memory when not needed.
But some magic is not as easy to control.
The air around him is different. It is electrifying, crackling, beautiful, and dangerous. People around him see that he is different, although some want to think him more of a foreboding different rather than a good different. Fai's magic is somewhat of a separate entity inside him, speaking to him, arguing with him, intertwining and coalescing with the other so that Fai is magic and magic is Fai. Fai knows that he is different; the magic knows that he is different, but the magic is content with that knowledge whereas Fai is not. The magic is content to aid people in time of need, to be useful and helpful, and is even happier when that restricting tattoo is removed, establishing its original power. The air turns even more different, and although the grief-stricken teenager and his unconscious princess don't feel it, that other man does, glancing fleetingly with a narrowed red eye before glaring back at the witch.
But now Fai won't use his magic, and the magic is restless, pulsing faster throughout his body, trying to find some kind of release within its cage. The magic finds it unfair that Fai uses all of his other magic except for this kind, the kind that helps,that aids and assists instead of magic that lies, that deceives and betrays. Even that man notices it, a flicker of curiosity in his gaze while the magician turns on his latest bout of magic towards him. That man is surprisingly resistant to Fai's other magic, a discreet tactic that none have yet to break, and the magic wonders whether he is resistant to all of the other variations of this magic as well.
Just because the magician swore off magic does not mean he doesn't use it.
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Fai smiles. It is his most frequent use of magic, and a frustrating one for this man. The simple curve of his lips and an easygoing grin that screams lies is as annoying as it is intriguing, and this man, a ninja, wants to break it. It is haunting, cheerful, and fake, and the ninja finds this to be so obvious that he wonders why no one else can see this liar, and more importantly, why the magician has to wear that stupid smile anyways. As he clutches his ankle, as the ninja tips his head up with his sword sheath, he observes Fai's smile, and finds he knows much more from this smile than he knows from Fai's own words. Fai is begging. Fai is begging and pleading help me, help me please but wait no don't help me, hate me, hate me instead NO! don't hate me, please don't hate me, take me away NO! stay away from me, please stay away, I don't want to hurt you! and the ninja stores this into the back of his mind into the steadily growing folder of the magician, confused about this heaviness in his chest but determined to figure out this complex puzzle.
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Fai walks. His body is light, and the ninja knows this from when he had to carry him back to the café. But no matter how light a person is, they must have a weight in their step, and Fai has none. He glides, he floats and he swerves and deflects like a soaring bird, but he is a human. This magic speaks in ways that are almost indiscernible but wholly effective for everyone except for the red-eyed man. He observes the magician; he wonders why he observes because this man is different and he is fake and untrustworthy but pushes the thought away for fear of equally uncomfortable thoughts of why he might care. His movements are light and flowing, like everything else about him, but something is off. His movements personify innocence, but his eyes convey guilt. His swagger is perfection, but his eyes say he is flawed. It is almost addicting to watch him act with others, the ninja thinks, almost as addicting as it is to watch him act with the ninja himself. His eyes are the most honest yet the most deceitful. His eyes are bright and blue and compelling and the swordsman almost feels like the magician is telling the truth but no, wait, he is a magician and then he sees the torment behind the happiness, the icy cold behind the calming blue, the endless shame behind the never-ending playfulness. In Piffle, his eyes are riddled with worry; in Lecourt, his eyes are filled with doubt and uncertainty. In Tokyo, his eyes are fearful and regretful and then his eye turns angry and distant. The red-eyed man feels a pang in his heart, and he knows it isn't because of the magician's magic.
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Fai touches. This man, who goes by the name of Kurogane, has paid attention to the magician's body much too closely to be normal. And because of that, he sees how unusual Fai's touches are; so frequent, so light and dancing and almost nonexistent, but always touching. They are pale hands, the ninja muses, smooth and soft and so unlike his own. But this man, this blond, he touches him frequently, but not in places where Kurogane can touch back. Flamboyant hugs around his waist, incessant pokes on his cheek, and casual grabs of his hand are what he does, but he never makes himself vulnerable to the ninja. The man was surprised when he was able to grab the slender magician's forearm in Tokyo without Fai's knowledge, but then again, there was something quite broken about him that night.
--
The magic of touching is one that everyone has. It is because everyone feels desire, and a touch can and will instigate yearning to the point of madness. The magician is a skilled one; he knows all forms of magic and will use every kind against the red-eyed man. The ninja isn't invincible, and he has long since understood that, but he tries to be against this magician. But when he drinks his blood, there is nothing he can do, because Fai is his responsibility and Kurogane will take care of him. The blond's smile is as cold as his lone eye, and his saunter is as detached as his words. But his touch, his touch is painful. When he holds his wrist softly, Kurogane feels how surprisingly warm his fingers are, and how smooth and caressing they feel against his skin. And as he slides his fingers down the taller man's forearm, Fai's eye flickers up to catch his gaze and the taller man sees the underlying smirk beneath his blank gaze. He is mocking. He mocks the ninja, asking with his hands do you feel me, Kurogane? Do you feel my warm hands holding yours? Don't you wish for me not to call you by your full name? Or do you like this, Kurogane? Do you see what you did? Do you see the monster in front of you? but Fai stops and his eye hardens and Kurogane knows he said too much. He drinks and leaves without another touch, and Kurogane starts to understand what this dull pain is.
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Fai speaks. This man, with the most piercing red eyes one has ever seen, remembers the sound quite clearly back in Yamano. His foreign and unfamiliar words were like a grating lullaby; the sound, the voice so graceful and lilting but the words so harsh and distinct. His language didn't suit his voice at all, but on the other hand, he does have a personality as different as his words. Even at a time when neither one could understand the other, the blond speaks cheerily and happily as though Kurogane could understand every word he says. It irritated him. It irritated him even more, however, not to know what Fai was saying, what words he spoke and what meaning they held. Because while Fai speaks, he does not talk, he does not tell, he does not explain anything, and the ninja wonders if at the time when Kurogane could not understand, the magician told him everything. He would be the one to do that, to tell the truth while simultaneously lie through his teeth. It frustrates him, it annoys him, it angers him and irks him and confuses him and worries him and maybe damn it, maybe everything about this magician makes him care. And he wants the truth from the person that he maybe possibly loves, so he will push through and fight and force the magician to tell the truth but then Tokyo Syaoran and Infinity Sakura and Valeria Fai and Celes Ashura.
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Fai lives. To know that one is alive; to feel the heartbeat pound quickly or slowly, to feel the urges and desires and to feel the body function is a miracle. This ninja, who once had beautiful, loving parents, knows the miracle well. The blond might know the miracle of living even more than Kurogane does, even if the man doesn't want to remember just what happened in that tower. But the magician lives, and no one will take that away from the ninja.
--
Just what all can an arm do? It can save, protect, love, care, trust and help. A limb that is often taken for granted, Kurogane figures out soon enough. That doesn't matter though, because he hadn't the time to think of the consequences because failure to do what he must means losing the magician's life and nothing can compare to him, not even his ability to fight. Because there was no time and Fai was screaming for him to let go and Kurogane didn't have the time to think how much his arm meant to him or how much Fai meant to him and in that moment he just doesn't give a shit anymore because Kurogane loves Fai. Kurogane loves Fai, the honest, brutally loyal ninja loves the lying, painfully gentle magician, and an arm is nothing compared to what Fai is to him and what Fai is to their family.
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The magic that resides in Fai is slowly dwindling, transferring to the eye that Syaoran possesses, and in one moment it is gone and given to the witch for an arm for the ninja. Kurogane glances at the once-magician and accepts that Fai will always be an idiotically kind person, and consequently accepts the arm as his own. The day is horrible, and it crushes them as one of their children dies under the wrath of Fei-Wong Reed. One day as they wait for the right moment, Kurogane sits back against his bed as Fai lies down, eyes closed and pale hand holding the glinting metal. Having just drank the other man's blood, they rest quietly, until Fai speaks.
"Kurogane," he says, with a care the ninja remembers much too vaguely. "Kuro-sama, I'm not a magician anymore, am I?" The words, spoken in a way not meant to be answered, hang in the air uncertainly for a period of time. Kurogane turns to appraise the man next to him, all wandering smile and crinkled eye and curious wonder. There is too much weight on the question to answer it lightly.
"You'll get it back," the red-eyed man states gruffly. Fai glances at him in surprise and he looks back intently. "You'll get it back, but you might not use it often. The power of a mage is not only to what extent he can use his magic, but to what degree he can control it. I'll make sure you'll get it back." A glare is directed at the blond, a challenge to see if there will be truth within that lone golden eye if-not if, but when-it turns to blue.
Fai laughs quietly, a small strained chuckle that sounds a little too like a reluctant sob. He looks at Kurogane oddly, eyes shining brightly, looking sad while hopeful and earnest while tired. The ninja wonders how the man can have so many feelings at once and is admittedly proud that he can finally see this whirling current of emotions from the once-mage and waits. He waits because he sees the slight hesitation and the biting of the lip and the fear of the unknown, because whatever might happen will be unknown territory and Kurogane doesn't know what will happen but he's ready for this but only if Fai initiates it. The red-eyed man gazes at the vampire and is patient, because for once patience really is a virtue, and Fai recognizes something in his eyes and his eye becomes brighter and he leans towards him and closes the distance. They kiss, slow and sweet and spiritual, as though a promise has been made and this is the union. Time passes and Fai breaks off, pulling back and looking straight at Kurogane and smiling a small smile. The taller man quirks his lips up infinitesimally before sighing and leaning back, closing his eyes to await sleep. He feels the blond curl up next to him and semi-consciously slips an arm around Fai's waist, bringing the warm body closer. Kurogane lies awake, feeling the paler man's quiet sighs hit his neck, and thinks.
Fai loves. He loves like a mother loves her child, like a friend loves another friend, like a lover loves his lover. He loves fiercely, passionately, and Kurogane cannot think of another that loves this wholeheartedly other than his own parents. Fai loves Sakura, a soft-spoken love mutually returned. Fai loves Mokona, a sweet love of comfort and camaraderie. Fai loves Syaoran, a quietly acknowledged love with pain and hope and sacrifice and happiness. Fai loves Kurogane, a simple, complete love that means much more. He loves, and it is the hardest kind of magic to earn but he has it and he treasures it.
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Unfortunately, Fai's magic returns to him sooner rather than later at the sacrifice of his own son. With his magic once again settling in familiar territory, Fai fights alongside Kurogane with a steely determination and a grief-stricken heart to make sure Syaoran hasn't died in vain. The magician will not die tonight.
~OWARI~
A/N: Did you like it? I really hope you did :3 Please review if you did! Or if you didn't like it, please review to tell me why! I would love to hear comments and/or criticism about anything I write so that I can improve and hopefully become a better writer. Anything you guys say will be treasured greatly! ^__^ But gah, didn't 210 and 211 make you sob? Saddest chapters in the world ;_; 'Tis why I had to add my little tiny tribute to C!Syaoran within a Fai-centric piece. Gods, I truly wish he'll find C!Sakura and find out what she wanted to say to him. That would be love :) But wow, off-topic much? xD Thank you so much for reading guys! You make my days a whole lot happier ^__^ I hope you enjoyed it!