A/N: Thank you for taking the time to at least look at this story, it was written quite a long time ago but I hope it is still enjoyable. This takes place towards the beginning of the Zander and Emily relationship, after he kidnapped her and rescued her from boarding school and after they began their relationship. Zander is living with Alexis and Sorel is still after him. That's about it!
She was knocked to the floor as the explosion rocked the gas station. She
could feel shards of glass hit her back as the windows exploded and she felt
pain but it was nothing compared to the terror. Dread and fear filled her as
she waited for the horrible ringing in her ears to stop. When everything was
quiet, deathly quiet, she quickly got up and ran to the large now glassless
window in the front of the gas station. Fear choked her as she watched as her
car was in flames, this wasn't happening…it couldn't be happening. Her hands
gripped the windowsill and she felt shards of glass sink into her palms but
she didn't care, she couldn't feel the pain anymore.
"No," she whispered to herself, willing God or whoever was listening to take
back this one moment and erase it so it never happened, but the world didn't
work that way. She could vaguely hear the manger of the gas station on the
phone with the police or something but her eyes were on the inferno, her heart
was in the inferno. The flames that had engulfed her car reached towards the
heavens, taking her love with them. She wasn't going to let this happen.
Before she knew what she was doing she ran out the door. She heard the manager
tell her to stop, something about the gas but she didn't care because her
heart was in that fire and if he died there was no reason for her to ever care
about anything. She looked through the flames, frantically searching for any
sign of him, she screamed his name over and over again until her throat was
raw and the very air around her seemed to echo with her cries. She prepared
herself to run head long into the flames not caring if she was burned to her
death as long as he lived, if only he lived. She neared the flames and she
could feel the warmth, the heat of it and she wanted to feel it burn her flesh
but then she heard another explosion and her body was flown backward and she
sank into sweet oblivion where nothing hurt and she could pretend that this
was all a horrible dream.
Emily slowly opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. She was in a nice
soft bed, it had all been a dream, just a nightmare, everything was
okay…Zander was okay. Any minute now he would come into the room with his
roguish smile and he would kiss her and everything would be okay, nothing
would hurt anymore as long as he was here and she was in his arms. Out of the
corner of her eye she saw movement, it was Zander, she told herself
feverently. She quickly sat up and held her head as pain engulfed her, this
wasn't right, she wasn't supposed to be hurting, she was fine, Zander was
fine….why was Carly sitting on the bed beside her with a wet cloth in her
hand? Emily made herself look down, her mind took in her soot covered clothes
her bandaged hands but her heart couldn't believe it.
"No," she said quietly, feeling as if her soul was trying to burst out of her
body.
"NO!" she repeated loudly as a sobs over took her body, this wasn't right, it
wasn't supposed to be like this. She was filled with a pain so horrible that
she didn't trust her heart to keep beating or her lungs to keep supplying her
with air. Nothing was real, this was a nightmare and she'd wake up.
Emily felt Carly put her arms around her as she cried. Carly… why was she
there? She asked herself again. She suddenly felt tired and weary and she laid
back. A cool cloth was placed over her forehead and she closed her eyes,
wishing she would never open them.
She woke up again and this time she knew that she wasn't safe in her bed,
waking up from a nightmare that she would tell Zander and they'd both have a
good laugh…this was real. It was dark and she couldn't see anything,
everything was so dark. It was almost like the darkness swallowed her. She
could vaguely hear voices, muffled coming from somewhere. She slowly got up
and there was a dull ache in her head. She found a light switch and looked
around Sonny and Carly's room. She looked down and realized she wasn't wearing
her clothes, they must be Carly's. A small part of her wondered how she'd
gotten there but the rest of her didn't really care. She quietly opened the
door and walked into the hallway, her bare feet hit the carpet beneath her.
She directed her way to the stairs and stopped as the voices became clear.
"-she knows?" finished a voice she thought was Sonny's.
"I got there before the police did, no one could have survived that and Emily
was unconscious about 40 feet away. I don't know if she remembers what
happened or not," said Jason, he sounded tired.
"She woke up a couple hours ago, I think she remembers, she started crying,
you sure Zander's dead?" asked Carly.
"I'm sure, I had to talk to Taggart about it, they found a body, what was left
of one-"
Emily wavered on her feet and put her hand over her mouth to keep herself
screaming or sobbing, or both, she couldn't decide. So it was true, he was
gone… forever. She tried not to cry, he was gone, he wasn't coming back, she
couldn't change that, she would never kiss him— her thoughts were cut off as
Sonny walked up the steps and when he saw her he stopped.
"Emily," he said softly.
Emily did her best to control her emotions, regardless of the metallic taste
that filled her mouth as she bit the inside of her lip. "I heard everything,
Zander… Zander's dead?" she hated herself for saying it out loud, it made it
so much more real.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," said Sonny putting a hand on her shoulder.
Emily sank to the ground, she heard Jason come up the stairs and she felt him
help her up and to the couch. "Does Alexis know about…him yet?"
"No, we can't get a hold of her," Jason replied.
"I need to go over to her penthouse, I need to go to Zander's room." She
didn't know why but she felt that she had to be there, she wanted to be close
to him.
"I'll have Johnny take you over," said Sonny as he opened the door and gave
instructions to Johnny. Emily walked across the hall and into Alexis'
Penthouse where Zander had been staying. It was dark but she found her way to
the stairs.
Emily walked through the empty hallway and to his room. She stood at the
doorway for what seemed like hours, unable to go in, Zander would never come
back here, he'd never lay in his bed at night thinking about her, they'd never
sit there together talking. She had to lean against the doorframe, afraid that
she wouldn't have the strength to stand. The moonlight was flittering in
through the window, illuminating the room in a soft glow, she took one step
inside, and then another. She looked at the neatly made bed, the stereo in the
corner, the picture of her in a frame next to his bed. Her breath caught in
her throat and she struggled to breathe fearing she would pass out. She walked
over to his bed and pulled down the blankets and slowly slipped under them.
She buried her face in his pillow and she could smell him but she didn't cry,
she couldn't.
Emily curled herself up into the fetal position and held tightly to the
blanket. She was all alone and her life was falling apart before her very eyes
and she didn't know if she'd ever be able to put it back together again.