Ahh... Laugh at the sheer retardedness of this chapter. My friends sure did. Bloody hell, it's like frigging long. I hate typing fanfics out on the comp.

This chapter is dedicated to Natillia, for her super-smartness. :D
Shoutout to Wind In Your Whiskers for being nice and Zack1996 for being normal-smart. :D
Credits to Hayden for the poo nickname thing (God, its been stuck in my head for goodness knows how long), Xiao Yue Er and Chocolate and caramel for fic suggestions. :D
And stop emo-ing, Delta. It's not good for you. :/

Get real, I'm not that rich.

Tyki leaned the weight of his head on his palm and smiled as gently as he was capable of, his elbows resting on the desk he was now sitting in front of.

His eyes glazed as he thought of the 'date' he was going on the next day. Everything was working out perfectly, if he did say so himself. All the details of his brilliant, spur of the moment plan, falling smoothly into place exactly as he planned it.

Well of course. He couldn't exactly beat Kanda without one of his flawlessly concocted and executed plans, could he?

He chuckled quietly to himself, tapping his smooth cheek with his fingers in a simple rhythm. How wonderful, to be able to accomplish the two things he had always wanted to, together in one magnificent sitting! And it was all thanks to Moving Rubber, the most fantabulous invention since the mirror. (Or so Tyki thinks. The author is more of the opinion that air conditioners were fantabulous-er.)

Tyki lightly caressed a container of his favourite hair product, a fond look in his dazed eyes as he speculated about his sure to be wonderful date, where he would be in close, personal contact with his beloved Allen Walker.

What would Allen wear?... In any case, he was sure Allen would look absolutely adorable.

What would Allen feel like eating?... It didn't matter, whatever Allen liked would be sure to taste good.

And most importantly, how would Allen react if he kissed him? In his vivid and colourful imagination, Allen would sigh oh-so-sweetly and put his arms around his neck, relaxing into his embrace…

Tyki abruptly snapped out of his train of thought. He really should stop worrying about it, or else he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. A small frown creased his forehead. Losing sleep was a big beauty no-no, as far as he was concerned, and he wanted to look his best tomorrow for Allen.

After all, his darling Allen deserved nothing but the very best, even if it was his appearance…

Kanda sighed, dragging a very reluctant Moyashi behind him towards the imposing, wrought iron gates guarding the Academy, where they were supposed to meet Tyki.

This was turning out to be one of the worst days in his entire life. Not only was he Tyki's slave for goodness knows how long, he was also being forced into going on dates with him. Thank Kami-sama for small mercies; at least the stupid sprout would be alongside to suffer with him. I guess misery really loves company….

The navy-haired teen walked briskly as he was used to, but his footsteps slowed visibly when they neared the chosen meeting spot.

Allen, forever observant, seemed to have noticed his display of an obvious lack of enthusiasm. A cute little sigh made it past his petal-pink lips as he squeezed the hand clutching his own. "You don't like this too, do you?"

A pained grimace was the only thing offered as a response. Squaring his shoulders, Kanda led Allen to the bench Tyki was waiting at, resigned to his fate.

Initially, he had wanted to take Lavi or Lenalee along. However, Komui, being the sister complex that he was, would definitely send the newest version of Komurin after him, equipped with the deadliest weapons he could get his hands on, and Lavi would just make the date so fucking annoying that he'd feel like committing suicide, this the sprout was his final choice. Also, he knew that Allen was one of the few people nice enough to not reject him, even though you could tell that he disliked the idea.

Besides, the bean was so much of a glutton that he could probably eat even Tyki out of house and home. The corners of his lips quirked up in a minute smile, just a tiny bit appeased by this small piece of revenge. He certainly hoped the smug bastard felt the burn in his pocket.

"Ally-poo! Yuu!" Oh hell, here the torture begins…

"Tyki." He clenched his teeth. Remember, this was all for the sake of his precious Mugen.

Allen, on the other hand, was the perfect picture of horrified dismay. What the… Ally-poo?! Why, why was he always the recipient of such dastardly nicknames?! First Moyashi, and now this, although 'Ally-poo' was infinitely worse.

His accusing gaze met Kanda's, who was desperately trying to suppress raucous laughter.

"Isn't it perfect? It totally personifies Allen's lovability." Tyki smiled proudly at his own intelligence, blessedly unaware of the amusement and distress of Kanda and Allen respectively. "I came up with it last night, when I met you in my dreams."

God, how corny was that?! Allen shuddered, staring a little hysterically at Kanda, silver eyes cloudy and dazed with panic.

You are not helping! Not one single bit! It was clear what Allen was attempting to convey to Kanda. Do something!

The other sputtered uncontrollably, clutching his sides as he doubled over in fits of helpless laughter, much to both Tyki's and Allen's displeasure. Taking Allen along with him to this date thingy was fast climbing up the charts to take top spot in his list of best decisions and funniest moments.

Tyki turned around and lifted his aviator shades, gifting his temporary slave with a sharp glare.

"Stop making fun of my adorable Ally-poo!~" At this, Tyki directed a sickly sweet, loving, blinding smile at Allen, who visibly flinched and tried to hide behind Kanda.

"Umm Kanda, are you sure this is safe? And why is Tyki so… shiny?! It's kind of freaking me out." He whispered into Kanda's ear apprehensively, shooting nervous glances at the dazzling Portuguese in front.

"Honestly, I don't think this is very safe either. But shut up. At least you're getting something out of it. Feel free to exercise that gaping black hole of yours to its greatest potential." Kanda straightened up, his admirable self-control back at the fore again.

"Oh. You mean he's rich?"

"Yeah, precisely."

"And he's feeding me?"

"I said so, didn't I?"

"Which means I can eat to my heart's content without busting my wallet?"

"Be glad to."

An expression of such angelic, innocent happiness spread across Allen's infantile features, putting even Cupid to shame.

Kanda rolled his eyes. It must be nice to be so easily contented.

'Ally-poo' turned to face his new sugar daddy, suddenly letting go of Kanda's hand and hugging Tyki around his waist.

He changed his mind. He was such a lucky, loved person after all! Kanda must really like him to share such a wonderful present, a real life Santa Claus, with him!

Allen's silver pools widened and shined as he beamed exuberantly in the depths of his conviction. "Can I really, really have whatever I want?"

Kanda shivered slightly, managing to shield his eyes from the ultimate cuteness he was exuding. Tyki, however, was not that fortunate. Faced with the overwhelming power if Allen's puppy dog face, he fell head over heels in love with Allen's adorable-ness, all over again. His sweet Ally-poo was so enchanting!

Stroking his silky, snow-coloured hair, he attempted a benevolent smile, basking in the gratitude pouring off Allen in waves. "Of course, dear. Nothing but the best for my lovely Ally-poo!~"

The unbelievably cute grin grew to near impossible lengths. Just his rotten luck, Moyashi was another reflective thing his poor head had to deal with. If Allen smiled any wider, his pretty face would split into two.

"Let's go then, I'm hungry!" So saying that, Allen grabbed both their hands and led them out of the school compound.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Remind him why this had been regarded as one of his best ideas again?! He felt like a goddamn gooseberry, for all the attention he was receiving.

Kanda slumped down onto the bright orange table, sighing loudly as he did so when Allen and Tyki didn't seem to care.

No, he wasn't another one of those limelight-whores, but this was just so mind-blowingly boring! Not to mention he felt like he was intruding on their date, and had to keep trying to suppress an insane urge to drag Allen out. It wasn't a nice feeling, he could assure you. In fact, it was so extremely boring that he couldn't even summon the energy to want to commit suicide.

Allen transferred his gaze to Kanda, only mildly shocked at the lack of his usual frown darkening the atmosphere. Whatever, Kanda could sulk if he wanted to. He shrugged, deciding that food was more important. Looking back onto the dish at hand, Allen smiled contentedly, continuing to shovel chicken rice down his throat.

"More for you, darling?" Tyki cooed softly. Gawd, Allen was so cute! No matter what he did, Allen would always be of the opinion that he looked adorable doing it. Yes, Ally-poo was that captivating, so much so that he couldn't take his eyes of his graceful, slender form…

Oh dear god, Tyki was doing that perverted-lovesick eye sparkling thingy again. Kanda rolled his own cobalt orbs, not that it made any difference to the current situation.

"Yuu! Get Allen some sugarcane juice to hydrate his parched throat!" Hell, he couldn't even muster up enough annoyance to clench his jaw! Boredom seriously sucked.

Absently brushing his bangs out of his eyes, he moved mechanically towards the queue. This happened so many frigging times that both he and Tyki failed to be astonished at the size of Allen's appetite.

He wasn't really looking at where he was going, thus the automatic scowl when he bumped into a young Chinese girl, probably about seventeen years old.

"Watch where you're—!" Kanda was abruptly cut off by a shrill, high pitched scream.

"Oh my giddy gosh! It's Kanda! Yuu Kanda! From DGM! Kyaaaaaaaaaa~!" Damn, not another crazy fangirl. He thought he left them all behind in Japan! And what's more, they shouldn't even have recognized him without his long ponytail!

Excited murmurs started filling the area, spreading the news faster than an Influenza A viral infection. Fully alert now, he abandoned the queue, almost sprinting back to the table. "Kanda? Why are you back so fast? And where's my juice?" Allen asked, only to be ignored.

"Seems like we aren't as anonymous here as we think. A fangirl just announced my identity to the entire hawker centre."

Allen took a quick glance around, noting the curious looks of the surrounding crowd. Oh blast! Singapore had her own share of DGM fans. Which was good, and all, for Katsura Hoshino, but not to the poor actors, who were constantly stalked and harassed by crazy fans. Crap, he hadn't eaten his fill yet too…

Just then, the fangirl from before suddenly appeared. This time though, with a horde of equally obsessed teenagers in tow, cameras and mobiles all out in preparation to take photographs of the stars of their favourite show.

Oh bloody fuck. All three of them stood up at the same instant, their only thought to escape back to the Academy.

Blahs... review and all :D