This fic is a sequel to my first bleach fic, Toys, and it won't make any sense if you didn't read it, so I recomend you read it or re-read before this. This is more like a chapter 2, really, but I decided to create a new archive instead of including a new chapter because Toys was supposed to be a one-shot, so I'd like to leave it that way. Still, you guys asked for a sequel, so here it is, because apparently I can't leave my poor one-shots alone (vide Mystery in the Night).

I wrote this chapter some time ago and never published, but I liked it, so I decided that maybe I should… I hope you enjoy it. :)

Warning: This fic has Byakuya/Rukia as pairing, not as siblings. As usual, don't like it, don't read it. It will contain lemon in the future. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome. And of course, I don't own anything from Bleach (but I'd love to get a Byakuya as a x-mas gift!).

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Byakuya opened his eyes and noticed he was probably late. The sun, disgustingly bright outside, indicated he had overslept - something extremely rare. If it was due to indulging in grief until late in the previous night, or due to the best, most restful sleep he had had in some time that followed it, he didn't know, nor did he want to find out. He started his morning toilet dutifully, proceeding a little quicker than usual. Before leaving for breakfast, he checked himself, making sure he was once again the pristine image of the Kuchiki head – kenseikan, scarf, gloves, captain haori – everything was perfectly in place. Still, while walking towards his bedroom door, he looked gloomily at the clarity outside and couldn't avoid the impression that, in contrast with his image, he felt dirty.

Thankful that Rukia had probably already gone to her squad, since she was nowhere in sight, he ate a light breakfast quickly, and before his mind could go back to the sorrow and self-disgust that had haunted his thoughts in the previous night, he decided, almost unconsciously, that that day would be very busy.

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The captain of the sixth division was sitting at his desk; his usual proper and stiff manner and the paper in his hand would not denunciate how much his thoughts were away from the content on the sheet, as his mind once again drifted to a much different subject.

Her scent, so delicious, and so much like another one he remembered, from long ago… the feeling of her sweet lips, of her small, delicate body under his, holding him… the mere possibility of never feeling those again was so painful that it made Byakuya feel sick. Yet, the cold truth was that it was the right thing to do, and the only option.

Guilt made him feel even sicker on his stomach. How could he have been so weak? He didn't know what had possessed him to act like he did, to do something so completely immoral, not only once, but twice. He had dishonored the memory of Hisana, and this realization was simply unbearable. To say he was disappointed at himself would be an understatement. He couldn't even understand it. His acts were completely irrational and foreign, as if a totally different person had committed them instead of him.

But the memory of Rukia was very vivid in his mind, as painful as it was alluring. He was risking too many things he considered dear to him, from the Kuchiki name to his own sanity. Why couldn't this be enough to endure the fact that he couldn't and would never have Rukia again?

And then, only for a brief moment, he wished he could be someone else, somewhere else… that Rukia wasn't who she was, and that he could meet her in a completely different situation. He wished he was free to fight for that last strand of hope that refused to leave his heart. How could he have fallen in love with the one woman he could not have? And the worst part was that she had accepted him… not only once, but twice, which made it all even harder to resist. He knew that she would, again, if he tried… If only he was free…

Shooing away that undesirable train of thought yet once more, he tried to concentrate on the paper sheet in his hands. He was probably staring at the same one for a while now. At that moment, Byakuya was truly thankful for how oblivious his lieutenant could be, sometimes.

However, his plan had failed. Clearly paperwork was not distracting enough to pull him away from the topic he wanted to avoid so very much since he woke up. He needed something to focus his mind on, and that could not be found in his office.

"Abarai," he called, standing up. "I'll take the afternoon off for some practical training. Please finish that pile on the left of my desk."

"Hai, sir," Renji stood up and moved to get said paper pile, a little startled at his captain words after so many hours of silence. It was probably past noon, he considered, looking at the sun through the window.

#####

The sun was setting, turning the sky into a kaleidoscope of orange and crimson. Byakuya was feeling physically exhausted, but it was a good feeling. The best he would probably be allowed in his current predicament. Senbonzakura was the best company he could have had that day, as it helped him concentrate on his fighting skills and forget everything else. However, as the warm breeze of the sunset touched his face, he was reminded that soon he would have to go home. And he, Kuchiki Byakuya, feared the moment he would cross the doors of the Kuchiki state again.

How could he have placed himself in such a situation? As if his feelings for Rukia were not bad enough, the recent development had made it all much worse. Byakuya cursed himself internally once again. Why Rukia, of all people?

The question passed through his mind but didn't last long. After the last few days (or years, if he was honest with himself) of struggling with the "hows" and whys" of his developing feelings for Rukia, he came from venial denial to simple acknowledgment of the fact. He wanted her, and probably loved her, and that was just the way things were. But those were old struggles. At that moment, truthfully, the question that really bothered him was not any of those. As shameful and as useless as it was, the real question troubling his heart was actually: "why did he had to adopt her as his sister?"

This was definitely a bad idea from the beginning, he could see it clearly now. But he knew perfectly well the answer too. Hisana's wish. And with that remembrance his heart was filled with guilt and sorrow once again. He felt undeserving of her trust, he felt weak. And for a man used to power in its many forms, feeling weak was even more excruciating. Would she ever forgive him?

Honestly, he could not have predicted this. When he was informed that Rukia had been found he merely asked for the adoption procedures to be made, only meeting her in person in the very day they proposed the adoption. That was when he first got the feeling that this might have been a bad idea, to bring her into his house. He had been warned about their resemblance, but he really didn't expect it to be so great. The shock made it hard for him to maintain his stoic posture, but he had many years of practice on that. His face was emotionless as ever, its coldness almost as great as the tumult in his heart. But it was too late, the offer had been made and he would never take it back, especially as it was Hisana's last wish. He had cherished the thought that it wouldn't be a problem, that he would get used to her presence and eventually see her as his sister. Yet, probably suspecting his own weakness, he immediately decided it would be better if he maintained a distance from her, avoiding unnecessary contact. And that's exactly what he did. He deliberately avoided her presence, and especially avoided looking at her, as that was particularly painful. Still, all his precautions were useless and vanished in a single mistake…

Byakuya sighed, watching the full moon that had just rose, yellowish and conspicuous in the sky. It was time to go home and face the situation he had put himself into. He gathered all the strength he had and prepared himself for the struggle of being next to her again.

That's it for now! I know it was short, but there's more to come. It's just that I need other things to write while my beta check my new chapter of Power and Duty, which is coming soon, btw. :)

Ja ne!