The Itsy Bitsy Spider Went Up
the
Statue of Liberty
Stella stepped into the crime scene cautiously. She hopped in between the splotches of blood on the hard cement concrete, her exotic green eyes scanning the scene skeptically. "Mac?"
"Stella?" Mac turned halfway to see the head of curls approach.
"What's going o-ohmygod that's a lot of spiders!" Stella felt every inch of her being bristle at the site of the creepy crawlers. Hundreds of them. Creeping and crawling and being oh so very nasty.
"I know, Stell, it's okay. You won't have to touch them, just...work around them." Mac tried, though the suggestion sounded futile even to him.
"Work around them? Mac, there are hundreds! Why are they even here?! Aren't they going to contaminate the scene?" Stella started.
"They're actually evidence themselves-" Mac was cut off.
"I'm not touching them! No way!" She said stubbornly.
"Come on Stella, you've dealt with them before." Mac smiled.
"They weren't the size of cats then!" She persisted, hauling his ear to her mouth and shouting, making his mind ring.
"Stella they are not that big and who's DAMN PHONE IS THAT?!" Mac shouted to the very confused officers.
"Mac, no one's phone is ringing." Stella pointed out bluntly.
"Are you sure? Hello?" He spoke into his phone.
"I'm sure." She nodded, putting his phone away for him.
"Well, they aren't that big." He tried again.
"Mac look at that one in the center! He's bigger than the horses on Lindsay's ranch in Montana!" She felt the color drain from her face as said horse-spider turned to face her and she could swear she was having a psychic moment. "Mac...it's talking to me."
"Stella spiders can't talk." Mac corrected. "No matter what you say, you are not going to leave me to process them all on my own."
Stella took in short, shaky breaths. Her shoulders jumped as she tried to swallow her fear, though it was crawling up her legs...literally.
"Stella, are you okay?" Mac eyed the tall, willowy woman as she stood frozen with fear. Her eyes were wide with tears stinging the corners and sticking to her long dark eyelashes. Her tan skin was three shades paler than normal and she was posed like the Statue of Liberty.
"Mac...they're on me." She whispered hoarsely.
"What?" He squinted as her figure began to tremble.
"MAC THEY'RE ALL OVER ME!!" She screamed, higher than either would've guessed she was capable of, and threw her arms up, running blindly.
"What? Where?" Mac tilted his head, not seeing any spiders on her visible person, despite her usual low cut shirt...ahem...never mind.
"Ah! Get them off me!" She yelled, still flailing.
"Hello? Mac? What's that shouting?"
"This just in: Spiders are Attacking the Statue of Liberty."
"What?!"
"Mac! Get these damn spiders off me!!"
"I gotta go, Don."
"Ah! They're biting me!"
"Be careful! If you kill them they're contaminated evidence!" Mac tried to get close enough to hold the woman still, but her fists kept him at bay while she jumped like she had ants in her...oh. So that's where...
"Yes, Mac, because that's really my primary concern right now!" She spat as one in particular was traveling up her thigh. "Oh god!!"
"Shake your legs!" Mac paused considering how weird it sounded.
"Never MIND!" The poor man didn't even have time to turn around before Stella had jumped onto his back, squirming awkwardly.
"Stella!" Mac tried to balance himself but Stella was moving too much for him to even get two feet on the ground.
"Mac!" She wrapped her legs around him as she inched higher and higher until she was right on his shoulders with her upper body curled around his head, her arms around his neck.
"Stella! Get off of me!" Mac shouted, trying and failing to see where he was going with Stella's hand over his eyes.
"Don't you shout at me-THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!" She shouted back, wrapping her long and flexible legs tighter around his muscled torso. Every time he leaned too far to one side she'd lean the other way.
"Stella, I can't see!" Mac pried her hand off his eyes.
"Mac!"
"What?!"
"Wall!" Stella and Mac both let out disheveled groans as they went heads first into the wall and toppled over. Mac twisted to keep from falling on and probably crushing Stella into pieces. She landed on his back as he landed on the concrete floor with a thud.
"Hm...that was a wall. How very observant." Mac grumbled, lifting his face off the floor. "Oh, my nose."
"You okay Mac?" Stella asked, pressing her hands on Mac's back.
"I guess, where are you?" He looked side to side.
"Up here." She smiled sweetly, looking at him upside down.
"So is it YOUR knee in my groin?" He asked blatantly, also feeling a high heel in the back of his knee.
"Oh...Oh! Sorry!" Stella blushed as she realized she was straddling the marine quite solidly. One knee was in his groin, as he said, and another pointed in towards his side. She scrambled up off of him, slightly missing the warmth but still sitting on the floor beside him.
"That's okay, are you?" He asked, rubbing his head.
"Yeah, I'm fine I guess." She sighed, scratching her right calf.
"Are you okay? Did they bite you?" Mac asked worriedly.
"I don't know..." Stella blinked, feeling her skin.
"Here, let me see." Mac looked closely at her leg as she pulled up her pant leg. "I don't see any bite marks."
"I know, don't think I've forgotten that shower incident."
"Well I did make it up to you."
"True...could you make it up to me again?"
"Anything for you Dt. Taylor." Stella cupped Mac's strong jaw and kissed him sweetly. "How was that?"
"That made this whole thing worth it."