Author's Ramble: So I've been working on IV for a while now. It's taken me a while to get to a point where I'd start posting it. It's a three part shortish thing. I just decided that I really wanted to portray Axel in a really different role. Don't want to give everything away, but hope you're willing to read.

(Oh, and for those on Author Alert, I'm sorry this isn't Now and Then or any of the other things I should be posting here... I'm a crumby person, and you have every reason to excommunicate me from your reading list... even though I hope you won't.)

Disclaimers:

I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Big suprise.

All chapter titles and quotes at the beginning of each chapter are from Jack's Mannequin: Everything in Transit. The album was written while the lead singer, Andrew, was battling against cancer.

Part One: You Can Breathe Now

"You can breathe, you can breathe now. You can breathe but the air is running out."

Axel stared down at his mandatory scrub uniform. It was a terrible periwinkle blue that seamlessly blended with the little footies you were supposed to have over your shoes. The interns all stood in a line of periwinkle sterile armor as the nurses of the Terminal Care Unit greeted with practiced smiles. They were in the employ lounge, the nurses having said that it was best to have the introduction to training away from the patients.

It hadn't been Axel's first choice to do six months of internship in a terminal ward. But it was the one place that they were having short hands at the hospital, and Axel's professor at medical school had said that he would get the most instruction and experience.

"If your wish is to work in a burn ward for the rest of your career, you better get used to people who look bad, and have no chance of getting better. It's going to be hard, but you will learn so much. And not just from the nurses."

Axel wished that those words would knock out of his dumb skull soon, because the way the nurses were all cheerily introducing themselves to the interns was just about nauseating. How could he ever learn anything about seriously treating patients with all these forced smiles?

"I'm Aerith," said the last of the five nurses. She had pretty brown hair that framed her face in two large curls. There was a calm, healing feeling about her that didn't come from the other four nurses. The two other interns standing beside Axel were both female, and taking a glance at the line of nurses he'd been ignoring; he realized that he was the only male nurse on the unit.

Great. Estrogen buddies.

The two interns to the left of Axel gave their names. One was Yuffie, a real spunky tomboy who had been in a few of Axel's classes during school. The other was a quiet blond from another part of the country. She introduced herself as Naminé.

Suddenly all eyes were on Axel and he realized just then how out of place he was. His vibrant red hair for one thing, not to mention his tattooed cheeks and angular features; all weren't exactly welcoming to a room full of nurses, let alone patients.

"I'm Axel," Axel said with a wave of his hand, giving his first smile to the nurse named Aerith.

"Nice to meet you, Alex," said another one of the nurses, who by now looked bored. Her blonde hair was sleeked back and had two little pieces sticking up over her face. She looked like some sort of bug with antennas to the red haired intern.

"No, not Alex," he corrected her with a smile. This time it was forced. "Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

"Oh, excuse me," the blonde muttered with mock sweetness.

The fake niceness thing was going to get old very fast.

"Well, interns," Aerith interjected pointedly as she lightly clasped her hands together, "welcome to Traverse Hospital Terminal Care Unit. Now, your job description here is going to be a lot different than what it may be in other units of a hospital. For those of you looking to take of long-term patients, this will be exactly what you need to know. For others, it'll be an experience."

We all know people are going to die here. Axel sighed to himself. We're nurses, we know that that sort of thing happens.

But Axel was feeling a guilt build inside of him, just as it did every time he thought of not being able to save someone. He knew he'd have to overcome that if he was going to be stationed in the terminal care for six months. It was a daunting prospect to be surrounded by people dying, people he can't save.

"You will each be assigned to a patient, and their nurse will help you with their specific needs. Your job isn't just going to be checking vitals, refilling potion IVs, practicing curing spells and the obvious, simple things. We ask that you try and help the patient emotionally and mentally. As hard as it may be, the best way to make sure these people are getting the best treatment they can receive is to guide them through the process. It's not an easy thing to accept your own death."

The room went very quite as Aerith finished speaking. Axel had been staring down at his scrubs, but slowly looked up as Aerith's voice began to grow quieter with her words. Her last sentence made her voice break slightly. Axel looked into her face to see a stray silent tear slide down her face. Axel marveled at her compassion. He never wished to become attached to his patients like Aerith had obviously done. It would be much too complicated. His silent help would have to be enough.

"So," the blonde nurse took over with a cough, "you three will be given your patients and nurses today. Naminé, due to the recommendation from Professor Yen Sid, you have been chosen to work with Aerith and her three patients. You will be keeping tabs on all three." Axel eyed the little blonde as she gave a small smile that just managed to escape from her deep blush.

Aerith gave her head a little shake and looked good as new. She held out her hand to Naminé, saying something about meeting the patients and a tour. Once they had left, the detached blonde turned to Yuffie and told her she was to be assigned to a busty brunette named Tifa and her patient. They headed off, talking animatedly.

"And Axel," the blonde turned to with a smile that resembled more of a grimace. "You are going to be under my guidance for the majority of your stay here."

Oh, please just shoot me now.

"Come with me, time for you to meet our patient." She led the redhead out of the cramped nurses lounge. Outside, the hall was narrow and white, with heavy metal doors lining the walls. The tile was a nondescript off white to hide the amounts of stains, and for easy clean up. But there was something different about the single hall unit that most hospital wards.

The place showed signs of long-term patients. The rooms they passed all had their doors open, and inside Axel could see the feeble attempts of making this sterilized keep home. One man had pictures of fabulous flying machines covering almost every inch of wall space in his room and on the door. There were models of some sitting on the bedside table, windowsill overlooking the indoor gardens, and the one table used for visitors. Another room was covered in flowers. Not sentimentally given flowers, but potted plants, large vases and herb gardens. Most of the flowers were of varying shades of pink. Axel noticed the man in the bed of the room was fast asleep, a curtain of long pink hair framing his face.

Near the end of the hall was where Axel's nurse stopped. The door was open, but inside there was nothing to show any character of its occupant. "I didn't catch your name," Axel said before they entered. He was trying to smile and make it look like he was being apologetic instead of ignorant. He rubbed the back of his neck, an old habit.

"Larxene," she replied flatly. Larxene didn't dwell on it, however. She turned to the clipboard that sat in a clear pouch on the outside of the door. In big letters across the top was the name: TSUMI, ROXAS. Axel glanced into the room once more, surprised to find the curtains around the bed tightly drawn. It was impossible to see the person inside the hospital bed.

"This is Roxas," Larxene said, not bothering to keep her voice down despite the fact other patients may have been sleeping, not to mention Roxas himself. "He's just been diagnosed with full-blown AIDS. He's been coming in and out for the past year with HIV and it's developed despite medication and precaution. He's frequent to be disoriented and shaky, along with a bit delirious here and there if he goes through a bad spell. Every few days we take a T-cell count on him. Last time he had," she flipped through some of the papers, looking bored as she passed the official diagnosis of both Roxas' HIV and AIDS, "just shy of two hundred." Her narrow and cold eyes glanced up at Axel who kept his poker face on while she spoke. He could tell she was looking for some sort of reaction of sympathy. Normally, Axel would show his sympathetic side for a patient's story like this, but not in front of Larxene. The vermilion haired intern knew it was best to just let Larxene be on her way as soon as possible.

"He's got about three months, according to his doctor," Larxene went on after her small pause. "Who happens to be Doctor Strife, your old professor's good friend."

Axel's emerald gaze flickered as she mentioned his professor at Trinity Institute. Squall Leonhart had been a very influential teacher to him, and he'd gotten to meet his partner, Dr. Cloud Strife. Axel wondered if the doctor had mentioned Axel to this chagrinned blonde. "How old is Roxas?" Axel asked, wanting to change the subject of Squall and Cloud. In this field, their lifestyles were taboo playing cards.

"Eighteen this August."

Axel thought about the prospect of knowing you'd never live to see your next birthday. But he didn't let himself get too caught up; instead he let the questions flow mechanically out of his lips.

"Has he been given his morning potion IV?"

"Yes, along with a brief session of Cura from Aerith and the standard AZT. There's no sense in draining all of Aerith's strength for her to use Curaga on him. He's in relatively little pain, unless his fever spikes and his migraines come back. Those usually happen late at night—which," she glanced through the papers on the clipboard, "seems to be the shifts you volunteered to take more of. When I'm not here to take care of Roxas, you'll be in full charge. If you need help, just ask any of the other nurses. I'll let you go in and fill up his IV with a bit of ether and nutrients. He doesn't eat much, and he's loosing too much weight."

Larxene put the clipboard back in the pouch and turned to face Axel with hands on her round hips. She was rather curvy under the scrubs, he noticed, but it would have been more of a turn-on if he were straight. Not that he was going to make a point of his sexuality here. She handed him a small yellow pouch filled with ether, and a little white one labeled with different vitamins and nutrients.

"I'm off to take care of my other two patients. Their rooms are just down the way, at the end. Come and get me if you need anything. Most of the stuff you're going to do here is simple basics, kid. No need to insult your intelligence by fretting over you."

And without another word, Larxene sauntered off, looking more likely to try and seduce someone than heal them. With a shake of his spiky head, the intern slowly entered the depressed room. It held only the things that were provided by the hospital; a wooden table with two wooden chairs in the corner for visitors to eat, the bed and plastic side table, and a comfy armchair in the far corner that was usually pulled up to the side of the bed. A small TV screen was on the wall adjacent to the bed was on with the volume turned down low. Reruns of a show with an Australian crocodile wrestler hummed lowly as Axel moved to the bed and gently pulled back a portion of the paper curtains hiding Roxas.

His breath caught at what he saw lying in the bed.

Fast asleep was the most beautiful and sickly boy Axel had ever laid his eyes on. He was too skinny, too pale—too young to be dying. His large hands (compared to the rest of his scrawny size) were curled sweetly next to his cheek. His face was still round like a child's, though the lack of nutrition and the battle going inside his body caused his cheeks to sink in a bit. Eyelids with long, beautiful blond eyelashes quivered as he slept. His blond hair stuck up at odd angles, a crazy mess of spikes that still looked soft enough for Axel to bury his face into. Plump lips were slightly parted as Roxas took in each shaky breath, his whole diaphragm seeming to be on the threshold of collapsing.

As Axel turned to the IV, only just remembering what he was there to do, there came a soft moan from the bed. The intern looked up from his work of pushing the glowing yellow liquid of nutrient enriched ether into the pouch. Roxas shifted, his eyes opening sleepily to show glowing sapphire eyes. Finishing up the IV, Axel nervously stepped towards Roxas again, rubbing the back of his neck as he searched for some way of introduction without sounding as stupid as he felt.

Roxas glanced warily at Axel then gave a sarcastic bark of a laugh. It sounded like it scratched the inside of his throat. "Don't tell me Larxene's given up that easily," he chuckled, more to himself than to the redhead in front of him. Axel raised a single red eyebrow in question.

But this inmate wasn't going to keep going with that thought as he appraised the intern in front of him. "You look like you could run a tattoo parlor," he said with a slight sneer on his sunken features. With his boney arms he propped himself up against the pillows, unable to hide the strain it took him to do so. "You sure you're qualified to be pushing drugs? Wait, I forgot, I could stick a bunch of crap that doesn't heal me into my body all on my own. I guess it doesn't matter if you are a sham."

Axel ground his teeth. He preferred him when he was sleeping.

"I'm Larxene's new intern. I'll be taking care of you, Roxas, when she's not available," Axel said his voice coated with sarcasm that matched Roxas' sour evaluation.

"Oh, wow. You didn't have to read my name off of a clipboard. You must really think you're the shit," Roxas snorted.

"Why, yes it's nice to meet you too," Axel snapped back, his bright green eyes narrowing at the moody blond on the hospital bed before him. "Oh, how nice of you to ask. I'm so flattered."

"You know, I may be the one on the gurney, but at least I'm not having conversations with myself. You might want to check on that," Roxas whispered mockingly with wide, too-innocent eyes.

Axel suddenly had a new look as to why Larxene came off as a bitch.

"I'm going to get your breakfast." Axel's tone was flat as he walked towards the door. He needed to talk to someone here who knew how to handle this spitfire kid. Aerith seemed the best bet, or maybe Roxas' primary doctor. Just as Axel was walking through the doorway, he added coolly, "By the way, the name's Axel. And for your information, I worked at a tattoo parlor to get through med school."

Distinctly, Axel heard a humph of amusement from the bed as he made his exit.

-oO IV Oo-

Roxas had a reputation, as it was. He didn't talk to anyone, unless to insult them. Larxene had been given the teen simply because she didn't put up with shit from patients. Why she had thought it was a good idea for Axel to be in charge of him was beyond the red haired intern. It'd been two weeks since he'd started working at the ward, and the blond hadn't gotten any better.

Roxas didn't eat according to the nursing staff. Aerith warned Axel that it was going to be a challenge for him to take his AZT, let alone his daily potion and healing session. Usually they had to put something in his IV to put him under for a bit so they could give him some nutrients and something to keep him going. It was as if he existed out of pure bitterness. But despite his attitude, Axel brought him every single meal of the day, including two snacks between lunch and dinner and lights out. Each day it'd be something new.

Axel figured there had to be something Roxas would eat. Something that made him realize that life was pretty good before he was confounded to a hospital bed and educational TV.

On one of these ventures, Axel had set down a cheeseburger and fries on Roxas' plastic table before sitting down at the wooden table and pulling out his own lunch. Roxas was staring idly out the window into the gardens, sunken face streaked with sweat from a rising fever. He slowly turned to look at Axel, a thin eyebrow raised. "What, you suck at making friends that much?" he asked, his voice dry. Axel shrugged, stood up and walked out of the room for a moment. Roxas stared down at his paper gown that didn't quite cover his collarbone. Lesions crept over his skin, and the sight of them made him want to claw away at his flesh.

Axel was back a moment later, holding two bottles of fountain soda. He set one down next to Roxas' untouched meal and sat down with the other. The silent redhead began to eat, not speaking to Roxas at all. The other intern, Yuffie, thought he was insane to put so much effort in it. "Some people just don't want to be comforted," she said, though the look in her eye had said that it made her sad to think that some people could ever become that bitter.

At this point, Axel could tell when Roxas wasn't feeling as well. He'd get quieter and stare out the window. It was at times like this the blond should have had someone there to help him.

But he never had visitors.

A sudden series of choking gasps escaped Roxas' lips, and Axel's head snapped up from his food as the heart monitor began to beep faster and faster. The young boy was going into violent spasms. Axel rushed forward, seeing that Roxas wasn't breathing. He pushed Roxas' head back and opened his mouth, trying to get his airway open. Nothing changed as Roxas' spasms subsided and he began to go limp. "Shit, shit," Axel muttered, and called for help down the hall. No one had told him what to do if Roxas stopped breathing. Aerith and Larxene were in the room in an instant, pushing Axel aside. Aerith cast a spell of Aero while Larxene pushed a tube down Roxas' throat. Aerith pushed the gust of air down the tube, filling Roxas' lungs before placing a mask over him. Aerith recast the spell a few more times until Roxas finally took his own shaky breath.

"He's getting weaker," Aerith sighed, looking more tired than ever as Larxene hooked Roxas up to a the Aero Tank that would help him regulate his breathing. They turned to look at Axel who was feeling incredibly lost. He felt his face flush with embarrassment. They had expected him to be there for Roxas. "Axel, I'm sorry I left you alone with him," Larxene said softly after a pointed look from Aerith. "He needs a lot more attention than we thought... Aerith and I were thinking he'd hold out longer. Would you like to work with another of my patients?"

Anger boiled to Axel's surface and he shot back, "I'm not a child that's taken on something too big for him. I'm here for you to teach me how to take care of people. My specialty is burns not chronic diseases. I refuse to give up on Roxas like you two seem to want to. He's only dying because he wants to die. Larxene, if you'd actually help me understand how to take care of him when something like this happens, maybe I could help him get somewhere!"

There was a long pause as Axel took in Larxene's red face. She looked like she'd been slapped a few times, while Aerith gazed onto the blonde quietly, waiting for her reaction.

"That… would make sense," Larxene muttered, breathing through her teeth. She straightened her shoulders, as her eyes seemed to narrow and set. "That being the case, I say you need to practice your magic more. When Roxas gets bad, he needs a lot of spells to bring him back down. Injections don't work fast enough for his metabolism. The ones you'll need to know the most are Curaga, or Cura at the least, Blizzard to cool his fevers, and Aero to help his breathing. You also need to pay very close attention to his monitors. C'mere."

Larxene proceeded to show Axel the extent of what he needed to watch out for in Roxas' monitors. She also explained how to take a T-Cell count and how to administer the AZT without the IV.

"Thank you," Axel sighed, realizing how exhausted this whole thing had made him only after Larxene had finished. Larxene gave him a hard smack on the back before leaving the room with a half-hearted smile.

Sometimes Axel wondered why people even bothered to go in the medical field.

Tiredly, he sat back down to his unfinished lunch and began to eat, thinking about calling up Squall to talk about getting magic tutoring. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was wondering why he cared about this little punk so much. Green eyes flashed over to the quiet hospital bed, where a blue eyed blond stared back at him in a dying body. The look of utter loss on the young face made Axel's heart lurch.

"I never wanted to die." The words were a faint whisper drawn from cracked lips.

"No, you didn't," Axel replied softly. He walked slowly to Roxas' bed, kneeling down beside the blond. Roxas eyed him warily, eyes widening as Axel took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "But do you want live?"

Roxas' brow furrowed at the question. He turned his head away from Axel's intense eyes. He swallowed hard and gave a sharp nod to the window.

"Then I'm going to need some help."