Ok, so I'm back again, with another songfic, this one inspired by Regina Spektor's Better. I feel I should also warn you that this story is really a sequel to my previous story, Fidelity, though I think I've made it clear enough that you can read this as a stand-alone. This one-shot is pretty long and is entirely concerned with the relationship between Hiei and Yukina, where the former finally informs the latter of his big secret. I hope that you like it!

Better

If I kiss you where it's sore

If I kiss you where it's sore

When Kurama glanced out the window early Sunday morning, he was hoping to see a bright and clear sky awaiting him; instead, it was cloudy as though on the verge of releasing a downpour. Just want I needed to make this day more stressful. The sun was breaking out from behind the cover sporadically at best, but Kurama managed to ascertain that it was perhaps two hours after dawn, light just now really starting to suffuse the room. This is strange…I would have thought that Hiei would be knocking on my window the second that dawn broke. Where is he? Worried, Kurama was dressed within moments, throwing on a pair of jeans and a button-up shirt. He briefly ran a brush through his long red locks before quickly going to the bathroom in order to brush his teeth and wash his face.

Returning to his room, Kurama opened the window. He was unable to see Hiei in the branches if the large tree outside his room. A quick cursory look around his yard and the neighboring trees didn't reveal his location either. He stretched out with his ki then, searching for Hiei's youki. "Hiei?" he called out softly, wondering if Hiei had been unable to go through with the deal. A few more minutes of searching seemed to agree with that suspicion. He found it then, on the very outskirts of his range; the ki was rapidly approaching. Then he blinked and Hiei was perched on the branch closest to his room, scarlet eyes full of shadows.

"I'm here. Are you ready?" There was something low, rough and entirely indefinable filling his voice.

Kurama frowned, worried and anxious and wondering once more if this was a bad idea. Though his first thought was, Why is he so anxious now- I expected him to wake me hours ago, quickly followed by, It's to late to back down now. The last thought was considered more seriously, before Kurama shook his head. I will follow this through. He sighed. Even in his thoughts he didn't sound convinced- or convincing. "Yeah." Kurama finally answered quietly. "Yeah, I'm ready to go anytime you are."

Hiei pushed past Kurama into the kitsune's room. "Well, come on!" he insisted. He was unusually still barely showing signs of breathing, tension stretching along his muscles. His behavior is though he plans on meeting someone in pitched battle. He can't meet my eyes though. Kurama scrutinized Hiei carefully. He placed a gentle hand on Hiei's shoulder, only to have the smaller youkai flinch away from the touch.

Kurama stilled then withdrew his hand. Casually, as though no movement had been made, he said, "Of course, Hiei. Just allow me to get my wallet and we can head up. I don't have nearly the speed that you do, so we'll have to take the train out towards Genkai's compound. Or rather, I must take the train. You can go on ahead, if you wish."

"No. I won't go on ahead." Hiei's gaze skittered away again and for whatever reason he didn't protest this elongation of their mission. His limbs were taut as he asked, "Are you prepared? Is your…" Hiei's hand made a generic gesture at Kurama.

Worry surged forward again, stronger this time. I don't think I've ever seen him act like this. This goes beyond anything I've seen before- it's like a strange combination of nervousness and excitement and pure adrenaline and that something that was in his voice earlier. A flutter of anxiety now rose, stronger than anything thus far experienced. What is wrong with me? Kurama thought in exasperation. The decision has been given, the offer made, the request adhered to. Kurama stiffened his shoulders. I'm going to do this. And I will make this work. If I can't convince Hiei to make this work, to give Yukina the chance to accept him without the use of the pollen, I don't deserve to be called a master manipulator. "Of course, Hiei," Kurama said calmly. He picked his necessities off his desk and left the room, Hiei's cloak rustling behind him.

Their walk to the train station was quick and silent. Kurama thought for a moment as he exited his apartment that Hiei might walk with him, but as soon as Kurama walked out into the streets Hiei disappeared, moving to fast among the trees to be seen. Kurama sighed slightly, grateful for the jacket that was keeping him warm. The clouds kept the day cold enough that each time Kurama exhaled, a small puff of breath was visible. He sighed with relief once he reached the front entrance to the train station. He paused, turning back to look for Hiei.

Hiei simply appeared at his side, not bothering to pretend to walk up as though he were human. "Subtle, Hiei, subtle," Kurama said with an annoyed exhalation.

Hiei sent Kurama a glare that could strip paint. Kurama's lips thinned. "Come on. We've got to get our train tickets, and then we've got a bit of a ride before we get to the edge of Genkai's temple. Then we just need to go up the steps and…" Kurama trailed off suggestively and shrugged.

Another equally piercing glare was sent in Kurama's direction. "Hn," Hiei grunted, and Kurama found himself oddly relieved by the typical answer. He turned, assuming that Hiei would continue to follow him, and without glancing back he bought two tickets for the next train headed out towards Genkai's compound.

The train trip was spent in a guarded, thick silence that stretched between the pair. Hiei's generic glare, directed at anyone visible, prevented anyone from commenting on his unusual clothing, and he wasn't stupid enough to remove his sword from underneath his cloak. "How much longer?" Hiei finally hissed, something venomous lurking behind the words.

Kurama met his gaze evenly. "Perhaps twenty more minutes? Not much longer, I assure you. Our stop is the next one."

"I should have run up, and just let you follow in this…" Hiei gestured uselessly around him before finishing, "Contraption. This thing is disgusting." He peered at all the humans around him, disdain written all over his face.

Liar, a cool part of Kurama's mind whispered. If you were brave enough to head up on your own, you would have actually done it, not sit around on a train waiting to be delivered as if you were some fait accompli. If you were brave enough to break the news, you wouldn't need my back up either. Kurama shook his head, trying to suppress those darker thoughts. I'll make sure this works, he swore to himself for the millionth time, and settled more comfortably onto the train seat.

Will you feel better, better, better

Will you feel anything at all?

Will you feel better, better, better

Will you feel anything at all?

Hiei had vanished the instant Kurama stepped of the train. Hiei's ki floated somewhere ahead, towards the temple, so Kurama leisurely followed at a more reasonable pace. "Kurama!" A rough voice shouted from off to his left as he stepped off the platform. Kurama turned, startled as Kuwabara ran up with a huge grin and a wave. "Why didn't you tell me you were headed up to Genkai's? We could have headed up together!"

Belatedly, Kurama realized it was the first Sunday of the month, the only day that Shizuru regularly allowed Kuwabara to visit Yukina; any other visits- if Shizuru permitted them- were planned strictly around Kuwabara's workload. "Uh, I forgot, I guess. I knew it was Sunday, but I just didn't put two and two together."

"Oh." Kuwabara looked shocked momentarily. "I didn't think it was possible for you to have a memory lapse."

"Well, I am fallible."

"I know that…but it's hard to keep in mind when you're forty seven steps ahead of the rest of us, or tutoring me in a subject you learned two years ago." Kuwabara shrugged. He paused for a moment on the first step leading up to Genkai's temple. "You visiting for any particular purpose? And…" he hedged for a moment, before finally blurting out in a low voice, "Is Hiei here?"

Kurama broke out into a sudden sweat. Kuwabara is expecting to visit Yukina. Hiei is expecting to visit Yukina. Kuwabara doesn't know that Hiei is Yukina's sister, and is liable to take both the visit and the news badly. Of course this would happen. This couldn't possibly go smoothly, now could it? "What makes you say that?"

"Well, Yukina has been especially anxious to see if there was any news about her brother, and I was hoping that you might have made a visit to the Makai in order to encourage his return. That, and, well, I can sense his energy up ahead, as though he was just with you a couple of minutes ago." Kuwabara studied Kurama. "You two are usually attached at the hip when he's around here."

"You're right. He is here. But-" Kurama stopped himself. "Alright. Do you trust me?" he asked, hating that he was playing this card.

Kuwabara looked both stunned and confused. "Well, yeah. Kinda hard not to at this point, ya know?"

"Okay, then I'm going to ask that you not question me further when I say, yes, Hiei is here and yes, he is currently on his way to visit Yukina. Yes, the visit is about her brother. Please don't ask for any more information, as I promise that I will explain matters fully as soon as I am able too." Kurama closed his eyes, hoping that Kuwabara's sense of trust and honor would carry him through. The last thing he wanted was to be telling Kuwabara the facts, only to have Hiei- or worse, Yukina- overheard. That's when all hell would really break loose.

Kuwabara looked suspicious. "So lemme get this straight. Hiei is here. He's going to visit Yukina. And you can't tell me anything more than that it concerns her brother."

"Yes."

"This sucks."

"I know. But let's get going. And Kuwabara, when we arrive, do you mind giving Hiei a little bit of privacy with Yukina first? This really is a rather sensitive matter."

"Is that why you're here?"

"I suppose that is one way of phrasing my duty today."

"Alright, I guess I can hang out with Genkai for a little while. Been meaning to play a game or two with her anyways." Kuwabara looked at Kurama sharply, dark eyes serious and unrelenting. "But if he makes her cry, I won't be happy and do my best to make him especially miserable, the little shrimp. I don't care what the news is."

"Fair enough- forewarned, forearmed." Kurama let out a slow, calm breath. Alright, one potential tragedy averted for the time being. Hiei's still up ahead, probably waiting until I'm actually at the temple before even considering approaching Yukina. I suppose the next person that I've got to talk to is Genkai. I'll have to put Hiei off for a couple of minutes to explain the situation, to make sure she's up to speed. But then, what do I do with Kuwabara? If I leave him and Hiei alone, they're sure to get into an argument. Maybe I can ask Kuwabara to step outside? No, he's extremely sensitive to what secrets we keep now. If I tell Genkai but not him, he's sure to react poorly. No, I'll probably have to break the news to them at the same time. Kurama heaved a sigh.

"Something wrong?" Kuwabara questioned.

"No, not really. Just a little preoccupied," Kurama lied. Yeah, preoccupied with what to do if Yukina gets upset and Hiei tries to force me to erase her memories with my dream pollen. Why the hell do I keep dwelling on this? It's over and done, and I can't change it. I can only move forward. "Don't worry about it."

"Sure," Kuwabara agreed easily, but there was something doubtful about his voice and demeanor. "Sure, no problem." Seeing Kurama's discomfort, Kuwabara cleared his throat and began, "So, I've been studying anatomy, and I'm having some trouble keeping all of the nerves in order. Do you know any tricks that might help me differentiate which ones are which?"

Grateful for the change in subject, Kurama eagerly shared several tips, which Kuwabara carefully considered. From there their conversation ranged amongst a variety of topics, lasting until they reached the top step of the pathway. Hiei was there awaiting them, though he didn't greet either person. Instead he turned on his heel and walked ahead of them.

Kuwabara growled under his breath at Hiei's behavior, but didn't press the youkai. Kurama smiled his thanks, to which Kuwabara shrugged. Within a minute, all three were standing at the main entrance.

When Hiei hesitated, Kurama smoothly stepped forward, knocking and calling out a quick greeting. A few seconds passed, then Genkai arrived, raising an eyebrow at her three visitors. "She's out back," Genkai said then returned to the inner walls of the compound.

"Wait!" Kurama called, following her. A quick look to his left showed that Kuwabara was on one side; Kurama risked a glance behind him. Hiei was already gone. Well, at least he doesn't waste any time. I was worried I'd have to shove Yukina and Hiei together to get Hiei to admit why he is here. "I'd like to speak with you for a moment."

"What do you want?" Genkai asked, changing directions and leading them into a large, open room, windows revealing the garden beyond the panes of glass. Without waiting for an answer, Genkai commented, "I find it interesting that Hiei is here." Sharp eyes met Kurama's. It hadn't taken Genkai long to put all the facts together once she's heard enough of the stories. Like the others, she had held her peace for the last few years, willing to allow Hiei to reveal the information on his own. "Is there something you'd like to share with me?"

"With both of you, actually," Kurama said as they seated themselves comfortably around the low table that was the room's only ornament. "And please, hold off your judgment until I've finished." He faced Kuwabara first. "Tell me, Kuwabara, when you went on that mission to rescue Yukina, were you ever told that you hadn't seen the whole tape?"

"Whole tape?" Kuwabara repeated dumbly. I remember the tape, but I remember seeing the entire mission. I mean, Urameshi didn't mention anything about me missing vital information. "What do ya mean?"

"When you left, oh so eagerly, to find Yukina, the tape giving you that mission had not actually finished. There was a few more minutes left, something that you missed. Something important. Something that…" Kurama paused for a moment then decided to go for broke. "Something that everyone knows except for you. In our defense, Hiei said he'd kill us if the secret spread to any more people." Here was the moment of truth. He inhaled and said, "Hiei is Yukina's brother."

Kuwabara's eyes widened to almost comical proportions and he gaped for a moment, literally stunned speechless. Hiei is Yukina's brother? That's what was on the tape? Oddly enough, the first thought that rose after the initial shock and confusion was, Well, at least that explains why I didn't know. Hiei would have dismembered anyone who revealed such a huge secret. But that's just not possible! They can't really be siblings. I mean, I just don't understand. Kuwabara took a deep breath. I don't know a lot about his past. Urameshi filled me in on all that stuff Kurama revealed to them when the first met, but I just…I don't even know what to say. A thousand mixed emotions were igniting every nerve in his body. Finally, Kuwabara managed a strangled,"I- erm, uh-"

"Save it, Kuwabara. You'll have to deal with this on your own time. We don't have time to coddle or explain things at the moment. From Kurama's tone, I'm betting we've got bigger issues," Genkai snapped. "Continue."

Unlike Kurama's previous statement, this next one was directed almost entirely towards Genkai. "Thank you. Yes. I don't know if Yusuke has told you, but we've been trying to get Hiei to confess his identity for ages. When the tournament in Makai had finished, Hiei tried to give me Yukina's hirui stone-"

"So he did get one from his mother?" Genkai asked. Well, that's one part to the enormous mystery solved. I've gotten enough details of what happened to her brother from Yukina- someone must have told her the circumstances, at least- that I'd figured out most of the picture, but Hiei is so decidedly un-talkative it's hard to figure out what he's thinking, let alone figure out his past.

"Yes, he did."

"I believed so, but I wasn't sure, because I wasn't positive that the koorime would have given the stone to him, seeing as they were so set on killing him to begin with." Genkai clarified.

Kurama nodded his acceptance of the explanation. "For whatever reason, the koorime saw it fit to give him the hirui stone his mother cried for him in labor. Anyways, Hiei tried to give me Yukina's hirui stone and return it with the intention of telling her that her brother was dead. I refused, telling him that I would not remove that option for him. I really believe that Hiei's world view would be changed if he had the will power and self esteem to tell Yukina the truth."

"Is that why he is here? To tell Yukina that he is her brother?" Genkai pressed, lips thinning protectively.

"Yes, that is the reason. But I've not told you the why yet," Kurama admitted with an unhappy twist of his mouth. They have a right to know, since I was the one that started this.

"The why?" Kuwabara asked uncertainly. "What does a why have to do with it?"

Kurama was taken aback. "You mean, you don't want to know the reason behind this random change of heart?"

Genkai slapped Kuwabara on the back of his head. "Stop being a dimwit. I think you've been spending too much time around Yusuke. I am definitely interested in the reason behind this uncharacteristic action."

Kurama sighed, resting his head on his heads. "I told Hiei…I told him that if he revealed that he is Yukina's brother, I would use dream pollen on her if she reacted…badly. That way, she wouldn't have any memory of it. What I didn't tell Hiei is that even if Yukina reacts badly, I'm not going to use it. She deserves to know, and I think that it will work out for the best." He stopped then, unsure of how to continue.

Kuwabara frowned. Whatever I feel doesn't matter for the moment. This is about Hiei and Yukina, my friend and my love. "The shock aside," he began quietly, "I'm not sure that was a good idea. Yes, Yukina deserves to know, but don't you think that by coercing Hiei into this, it'll be a problem in the long run? Yukina is the sweetest and kindest person in the universe, but…won't it cause problems? I mean, what if Yukina asks why Hiei suddenly decided to reveal himself after lying for so long? You don't think Yukina would be offended if Hiei's answer is 'well, because a mutual friend of ours decided to get involved and was willing to erase your memory to make it happen'. It makes it sound as though Hiei only did it to get you off his back."

Kurama's glare was dark and icy. "If that time comes, I will take responsibility for my influence. Otherwise, I will leave the matter as it. The important thing is that they are reunited."

Genkai pursed her lips. "I don't know. This has a lot of possibilities to go wrong. Then again, it has a lot of possibilities to go right. No matter how this works out life will get…interesting." Fingers drummed for a moment on the table. "Well, I suppose I'll help you out if it means that I can prevent any structural damage to my house. Hiei is not exactly the example of proper anger management."

"And you?" Kurama asked Kuwabara softly. "Where do you stand?"

Kuwabara thought for a long moment, face serious. "I'm surprised. Shocked. Pretty upset that everyone knew except me- again." He looked at them, kindness lacing his features, taking the sting out of the statement. "But it doesn't really matter what I feel right now, does it. This is about Yukina. And Hiei too, I guess. If they really are siblings like you say they are, I think Yukina doesn't deserve to be lied to for one more second by that-" Kuwabara cut himself off even as his white-knuckled palms gripped the table. "He needs to tell her. If I had known earlier…well, I didn't know. But yeah, Kurama. Yukina deserves to know the truth. And as far as brothers go…" Kuwabara looked away. "Hiei isn't the worst of the lot." No matter how much he annoys me and is rude and arrogant, he is softer around her, a little kinder. Kuwabara found himself swallowing a laugh that had more than a little bemusement in it. I guess I finally understand why Hiei nearly died to save Yukina when the stadium was falling to pieces around us.

"I appreciate your help," Kurama murmured. "They both deserve all the happiness in the world."

Kuwabara stood then, muttering something about getting some air, and Genkai turned her penetrating gaze on Kurama. "I have some more questions, though. Unconditional help is all well and good for Kuwabara, but I'm a little more choosy on exactly what sort of help I'd be asked to give in this case. And I won't be very much help at all unless you're willing to clear up some of my concerns."

Kurama nodded. "That is, of course, a fair bargain." He waved a hand. "Please, ask away."

Genkai thought for a moment. "If I'm going to be doing this, I'm going to need some tea." Kurama chuckled and followed her to the kitchen, leaning on the table as he watched the older woman set a tea kettle on the stove and draw out some loose leaves for her tea. She pulled two mugs out of the cupboard, "Well, for starters, I'd like to know what was given in return for such an offer- in other words, what was the deal; what exactly inspired Hiei to agree?"

"I told him that if he agreed to the deal, he'd have to act like a real brother would. No more lies, visiting regularly, listening to her when she needs help, letting her love him in peace. And, hopefully, returning that love, eventually." Kurama couldn't meet Genkai's eyes. "That was if Yukina responded well to his entreaties. If for whatever reason Yukina would claim she didn't want to see him, or didn't love him as her brother, or any other negative reaction I would in turn use my dream pollen in order to erase her memories. Hiei would then be free to do as he wished in regards to Yukina. I'm not exactly clear on what made him agree. I didn't ask him last night because I didn't want him to get spooked and run off."

The kettle was going off now, shrieking its preparation and Genkai poured the hot water into the cup, followed by the tea and brought it to the table, letting it steep. She took a seat at the table. Kurama didn't want to stay perched and took a seat across from her, stretching out his legs and leaning forward. "I see," Genkai said neutrally. "Next question: when was the offer made?"

"A matter of weeks ago. And to answer what I'm sure will be your next question, no, he did not agree right away. He disappeared, actually, when I made that offer. I don't know why he came back or why he accepted the deal, as I said. I'm relatively sure he was in the Makai during the intervening time, so I can't even make conjecture. He might have been with Mukuro, might have been on his own, might have been with a patrol, I don't really know."

"Fair enough." Genkai tested her tea carefully, and judging it to be suitable, she removed the strainer and dropped it in the sink. How interesting this is all turning out to be. By the end of this little adventure, I'm betting everyone will know either most of the story of Hiei and Yukina's life, if not the whole picture. But I can work on straightening out all the facts later. For now, I have more questions to be answered. "And when did Hiei accept the offer?"

"Last night, late," Kurama answered promptly. "Hiei asked that we come and visit today."

Genkai peered at Kurama over the edge of her cup. The kitsune wasn't fidgeting, per say, as much as he was tapping the table nervously. "I have one last question for now," she began. Kurama stiffened. "Why did you do this?"

Kurama didn't bother to attempt a lie; Genkai was far from stupid or unobservant, and thus a lie would create no advantage. "Personal reasons," he said shortly.

"Oh?"

Hoping that if he revealed some of his reasons, Genkai would leave him alone about the deeper issues, Kurama answered quickly and quietly, "Hiei has all the self esteem of a thirteen year old human female, despite the fact that he is one of the most powerful youkai that I know. I think he drew away from us because he didn't understand why we would risk our lives for him, and he didn't understand why he was willing to die when Yusuke was killed by Sensui. Hiei has never been the master of his emotions, and they confuse him as a result. He…yes, Yukina deserves this chance, but so does Hiei. I thought that if there was one person he couldn't run from, it was Yukina. She loves her brother so much, even having never met him, and if she can love him unconditionally, I hoped it would help him, make him understand that Yukina would never abandon him, and neither would we. In short, I'm hoping this little experience will make him a happier person."

Genkai sipped at her tea for several long minutes, and Kurama coolly met her gaze. "And your love for him?"

Kurama, to his credit, didn't show any outward signs of the anxiety and annoyance that were flooding through his body. "You must be mistaken," he informed her flatly. "We do not have that sort of relationship."

"Not for lack of emotion on your part, at the very least." Genkai shook her head. "Don't deny it. That would be stupid and a waste of both of our times." When Kurama didn't answer, she set the cup down with a sigh. "You love him, don't you."

Kurama couldn't meet her eyes as he rasped, "Yes."

There was silence for several long moments. "Now what?" Kurama asked, voice low as he looked to his left out the window.

"Now we wait. Hiei is out there with Yukina right now."

Born like sisters to this world

In a town where blood ties are only blood

If you never say your name out loud to anyone

They can never ever call you by it

Hiei found Yukina at the edge of the garden, carefully tending to a row of Makai plants which seemed to be thriving despite the cold weather in the Ningenkai. Yukina was dressed only in her kimono, happy flush brightening her cheeks. She looked up as he darted towards her, unsurprised by his sudden appearance. She sat back on her heels. "Hiei!" she exclaimed, smile creating small dimples in her cheeks. "It is wonderful to see you again! How are you?" She paused for a moment, smile shrinking a little. "Do you have any news of my brother?" she asked a little wistfully. She blushed a little, then looked away; Yukina turned back to her plants as though she wasn't really expecting an answer.

She didn't get one; Hiei paced for a moment storming angrily across the frosty ground behind her, scowling. "What are you doing?" he asked roughly, accusatory, stopping next to her.

Yukina barely spared him a glance as she carefully tended to the flowers in front of her. In her soft, sweet tone she told him, "Kurama was kind enough to give me a few plants of his from the Makai. Flowers, mostly. Well, flowers that won't harm anyone…unless they're doing something they're not supposed to be doing. I'm just making sure they've got everything they need. It's been especially cold these last few days, and I would hate to see them suffer because of it. I don't think Kurama would appreciate it after-"

Hiei yanked on her arm, pulling her upright. She gasped at the force of his grip, tugging her arm out of his hand. "What's going on?" she asked, shifting away from Hiei. "Is everything alright?"

Hiei flinched at the note of fear in her tone. He clenched his fists, nails biting into the skin and leaving crescents that dripped blood. Hiei took one step back then two, removing himself from Yukina's personal space.

"I need to talk to you in private," Hiei growled.

"Is this…is this about my brother?" Yukina wondered aloud, latching onto Hiei's arm. I hadn't expected to receive some news- I thought Hiei had just come to inform me of how the search was going. Something brilliant flooded Yukina's eyes and they were glistening with unshed tears as she asked in a wavering voice, "Did you find him? Where is he? Is he alright? Please, Hiei! Tell me what you know!"

Hiei back out of her grip, then turned and ran, leaving Yukina staring after him in shock. "Hiei?" she called out tentatively. She could sense his energy moving rapidly for the better part of ten minutes before approached from her left and grabbed her arm, pulling the koorime after him as he walked towards the porch. This time she did not protest his treatment, instead doing her best to keep up with his pace.

"Hiei, please, if you have information, you have to share it with me. How did you find him? Where was he? Is he alright? Hiei, is he alive? Is he alright?" They stepped onto the porch than Yukina grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. Her eyes were brighter now, if that was possible, bright with unshed tears and anger. "Hiei," she said, and the word became a command.

Hiei shoved a hand in his pocket, withdrawing Yukina's hirui stone. "Here," he muttered, shoving it at her and turned his back to her, breathing rough. Numb fingers clasped the black cording while the stone glinted despite the overcast sky.

Yukina's lips thinned even as dread made her muscles tense. What is the matter? I need to know what's going on- I need to know if my brother is dead or alive! She opened her mouth to voice her demands when Hiei turned, leaning on the porch railing. "He's alive," he said, slowly and carefully as if unsure of how to form the words.

Relief turned her strained muscles to liquid, and she sank to the ground, tears falling freely. A single sob tore loose of her throat. Hiei's words were a confirmation of everything she had hoped for since finding out that she had a brother. Relief, worry, happiness, wonder and nervousness where only a few of the feelings that rushed over her. Her hands started to shake in her lap even as she ignored the tapping sound each of her hirui stones made as they hit the wooden floor. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, only to have a dry croak emerge. She swallowed, then tried again, only to have a million questions try to make themselves heard at once. Another sob broke out and she noticed Hiei was hovering without touching her, eyes strangely dark and full of complex emotion. He stared at her as though she was a foreign creature; his mouth moved once as though he was trying to speak with her but no sound was made. She took a deep breath to try to calm herself and finally managed to ask, "Who is he?"

There was a thick, oppressing silence. Then Hiei turned away yet again. Yukina crossed her arms over her stomach as she stood, righteous rage boiling up in her stomach and encouraging her to stand firmly. "Who is he, Hiei? Please, I need to know!"

Then Hiei was there, right in her face, hands clenched so tightly on her shoulders that the nails ripped through the fabric of Yukina's kimono, voice low and dangerous as he inquired, "Are you sure, Yukina? Because if I tell you, there is no going back."

Yukina didn't look away from his eyes as she placed her small, delicate hands over his calloused ones. "Hiei, he is my brother. I would never want to go back," she swore, cool breath just barely touching Hiei's face. "I love him."

Instead of calming Hiei's stress, Yukina only found the force of his hands increasing. "How can you say that? How can you say you love him when you've never met him, when you don't know what he'd done, or where he's been, or what kind of person he is? How can you just love him without ever having met him, or ever having seen him or talked to him?" Hiei tore his hands away, pain and rage and an inability to understand chasing each other across his face in endless circles.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Yukina said weakly. "He's my-"

"You keep saying that!" Hiei snarled. "I don't want to hear it anymore!"

Yukina's head snapped towards him. "Well it doesn't matter if you don't want to hear it! He's my brother! You don't have the right to interfere, or withhold his name!" There was more than suppressed annoyance filling her voice now. There was a heated anger that bit deeply into Hiei. She glared at him even as more tears fell and crystallized into hirui stones. Then, Yukina looked down at the ground, tears falling faster as Hiei didn't answer her.

"Me."

Yukina's next breath caught in her throat, incomprehension taking over her features. "What are you talking about?" she whispered, eyes filling yet again. And I still have more tears to shed for my brother, she thought desperately. How is that even possible? "What about you?" It can't be- he can't have been here the whole time! He would have said something earlier, surely-

"It's me! I'm your precious brother!" Hiei shouted at her, eyes glistening with his own tears and pain. I should never have started this, she hates me, I can tell. I need to get Kurama out here and wipe her damn memory. "What do you say now? Can you still love him when he's here, standing in front of you?" he challenged.

"But how can you be my brother?" Yukina asked, voice a whisper. Her confusion and inability to accept him as a brother sent a wave of pain through the core of Hiei's body. Yukina's confusion turned to outrage and agony, forcing every other question she had wanted to ask into the back of her mind as she said, "I've known you for years, how can you possibly be my brother?" there was the gentlest suggestion of a scoff in her voice, and a coolness entered as she continued, "I've known you for years. Years, Hiei. If you really are my brother, how could you have lied to me for so long?"

Each word out of Yukina's mouth was a dagger, inflicting the darkest of torments on Hiei. He found himself unable to respond, more hurt than he had been in his entire life. This was a more searing wound than being tossed over the edge of Hyoga, than the blows he had suffered through childhood, worse than any betrayal he'd experienced in his life. I just want this to go away. I want the pain the go away. Then, moving faster than he had in his entire life, he found Kurama in the temple and whisked him outside. Without ceremony, the kitsune was dropped to the wooden floor.

"Fix it!" he demanded. "Fix this!" Wild and accusatory red eyes pinned Kurama in place. "This is all your fault!"

Kurama's mouth gaped. "What happened?"

"It doesn't matter! Just uphold your end of the deal! She doesn't- she doesn't-" Hiei couldn't force himself to finish. And it hurts all the worse because I was stupid enough to get my hopes up. I'm done with this. I'm done with allies, with friends, with all those ridiculous, soft emotions. See where they have gotten me?

Yukina used to moment of silence to send her own accusatory stare towards Kurama. "You knew about this? For how long?"

"Damn it, Kurama, just use your dream pollen! You said that was the deal!"

"What is going on?" Yukina asked, glancing between the two faces. She was beginning to look lost and desperate. "I don't understand!"

"Kurama, you bastard, you promised!"

"Stop!" Kurama shouted, instantly silencing the koorime twins. "Just…just be quiet for a moment." What do I do now? I have no interest in erasing Yukina's memory. How could I have misjudged this so badly? Should I have come with him? Would that have changed anything? She's so confused and annoyed and angry right now, and I don't even know what happened! I need to straighten things out, make this work.

"No." Yukina said flatly. She turned her back to both of them, gripping the railing of the porch with both hands. Ice slowly began spreading out from her form, overtaking the wood inch by inch. "No, I have had enough of this. I refuse to be quiet. I am very confused and upset right now, and I have a lot of questions to be answered. Please, tell me one thing, Hiei. Are you really my brother? No lies, no deception, none of that. Just yes, or no." Yukina's eyes searched Hiei's face.

Hiei stared at her for one minute, then two. "Yes," he finally rasped quietly.

Yukina looked down, face completely emotionless, "Thank you for telling me." The ice slowly began to recede, and there was an almost audible relaxation of tension in the air. Yukina looked back out over the railing. She took a steadying breath. "I don't know what I'm feeling right now; however, I want to do this properly. Please, Hiei. Give me a week to deal with this, brother." Yukina's penetrating gaze locked with Hiei's. "No more threats of dream pollen, no lies, and no threats towards our friends either. Just a week, to think. Please, you can give me that much." Yukina cursed herself when Hiei flinched at the bitter tone that had wormed its way into her voice.

"Hn." Before anything more was said, Hiei sprinted off, vanishing into the trees. A final clatter accompanied his exit; in addition to the hirui stones that littered the area from Yukina's tears, a second necklace was on the ground.

Shaky fingers reached down to the necklace, comparing it to the one in her hand. It was the final proof, the final confirmation in this entire surreal affair. "He really is my brother, isn't he?" Though it was voiced as a question, it had the flatness of a statement.

"Yes."

Yukina sighed, then collapsed on the ground, holding both hirui stone necklaces against her chest. Kurama carefully made his way towards her and placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Yukina?" he murmured softly with evident concern. "Are you alright? What happened?"

Yukina's eyes were swirling with a thousand different feelings as she met his eyes and said, "I could ask you the same thing." In time with her words, the skies let loose, and it started to rain.

If I kiss you where it's sore

If I kiss you where it's sore

Genkai leaned casually against the door that opened into Yukina's room. "How are you feeling?" she inquired in a rare show of softness.

Yukina shrugged. "I-I'm.." she cleared her throat and tired again. "I'm a little better." She twisted from her kneeling position long enough to send a quick, not entirely genuine smile towards Genkai before returning to the medium sized chest before her. She reached up to the neckline of her kimono, hand resting on her hirui stone as well as her brother's. As well as Hiei's. Even three days couldn't change the strange feeling that overtook her. Now that I have a name, a personality, a body, a glance, it is almost surreal. It's almost impossible to reconcile the two ideals because I spent so long wondering, so long simply accepting the friendship, thanking him for rescuing me time and time again. Every touch, every word becomes something different in light of this. She sighed heavily, then took the third chain that was hanging around her neck; a long silver chain with a single ornament- a small key.

The steel of the key fit in easily to the chest, unlocking the physical lock as well as the wards pasted all over the wood. The lid creaked as it opened, revealing hundreds of hirui stones. And each was cried for my brother. I thought maybe to sell them one day one I'd found him, to help give him the life he deserved. Now though…I don't know what I want to do. A hand picked up one of the jewels, rolling it in the palm. "Genkai…" Yukina started, then stopped.

"What?" Genkai said with a touch of irritability.

Yukina picked up another stone. "Would you be able to drill holes in some of these?"

"Your hirui stones?" Genkai asked, raising an eyebrow. "What for?"

Yukina looked up again, and this time her smile was far more genuine. "It's a tradition, in Hyoga. During labor a single tear is cried and allowed to crystallize. It is then given to the child to remind them that they have a mother who loves them. In labor, our mother cried two tears, one for each of us. The purpose it to remind the child of their heritage, of their family. In this case, it was a reminder that they are never alone; we had a sibling who could care for us. That hirui stone that she gave us both is a symbol of her love, a symbol that she would never forget us. I think that it's time that I do the same for my brother, to insure that he knows I will never forget him; there's one other reason that hirui stones are so prized. It was one of the original reasons that the koorime left the Makai. Yes the death and destruction were awful and that is the primary reason that we left, but our hirui stones have a hidden property, one that helped to sway the decision to leave. They give people joy."

"People stole them from us, beat us, raped us, killed us for those stones. Ironic that such nasty habits developed when the stones were intended to bring the opposite emotions to the surface. They sold them for hundreds, then thousands, then millions of dollars. So we left, and the lore was forgotten but the price remained because of their rarity. But…whenever I grow bitter about Tarukane, or having not known that I had a brother, or whatever brings me sadness, I just stop what I'm doing. And I remember my mother's hirui stone, cried for me out of love during her labor, and I find that any negative feelings I've been harboring simply leech away." Yukina sighed. "I don't know much about Hiei's past. I doubt even Kurama or Yusuke or Kazuma know the entire story, though I can imagine how hard it must have been. And now that I know he is my brother, I'm going to help him whatever way I can. I will do my best to leech away the pain of his past."

Will you feel better, better, better

Will you feel anything at all?

Will you feel better, better, better

Will you feel anything at all?

"So what did you do then?" Yusuke asked, ladling a bowl of ramen for Kurama.

"Well, I told her everything. From the beginning, all that I know. How I found out who she was, the mission to rescue her…I answered every question she asked."

"Really?" a set of dark eyebrows were raised in shock.

"Yes. There's no point in keeping it secret, and the more Yukina knows, the better things will probably end."

"There's an awful lot of maybes in your story, Kurama. You usually prefer your plans to be more…concrete, than this. I mean, it's a little weird. Either way, it's a good thing you did, I guess. I mean, you're right. If this works out, both their lives will be completely different. I think it could be good, but I'm hardly one for thinking things through. When is Hiei going back?"

"I don't know. I mean, he left that day, I haven't seen him since. As far as I know, Yukina hasn't seen him, Genkai hasn't, Kuwabara and you haven't, and obviously I haven't. He might be back in the Makai, but it would take years to track him down. Then, assuming we could track him in a mere few days, our presence would be a sure way to make Hiei disinclined to return. He hates having things forced on him. Considering that, I can only hope he won't decide at the last minute that he's not going to see her, and leave things entirely in his hands. It would crush Yukina."

"So she handled the news well?"

"Well, not so much. They were both upset when I got there, and then she was icy calm the entire time I was giving her the information she wanted. I have to admit that finding out that Hiei was her brother must have been the shock of a lifetime."

"You're telling me. I was shocked to hear it, and I'm not even related to him. At least we don't have to worry about some bastard taking advantage of her. Hiei's got his rough edges, but he's got a good heart."

"It's not his heart I'm worried about."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that wasn't precise terminology. I'm worried how Hiei will handle this. You saw how he drew away from us after Sensui-"

"It didn't help that we spent some time trying to find ways to undermine each other. Well, you and Hiei were undermining, I was getting my ass kicked seven ways to Sunday- but I knew you guys would never really set out to kill me. Y'all like me to much."

Kurama rolled his eyes, unwilling to disillusion the former detective. It had all worked out for the best, at any rate, so there was no point in dredging up a past that had never come to be. "Yes, you've grown on us, much like mold grows on cheese."

"Hey! That's totally not fair! I mean, come on! I know you better than that. You brought Jin, and Touya and Chuu and all the others to Yomi's. You couldn't have possibly believed that they would side against me for Yomi. I mean, hell, they're my buds too. And don't lie to me with that bull about wanting to keep the balance in order- Chuu told me you wanted to fight me, but that you wanted to do it head on, no secrecy. Actually, we really should do that sometime. I mean, Keiko isn't real thrilled when I come back all banged up, but sometimes it's worth it. I mean, I came back two weeks ago after duking it out with Jin, and man oh man did she ream me out for that one! But seriously, if we give her heads up- oh, and Hiei too, that'd be really fun sometime. We haven't really had the chance to fight since-"

"How does everything come back to fighting for you?" The sigh that accompanied the words implied it was a rhetorical question, but Yusuke shrugged and answered anyways.

"Well…because it's fighting. There ain't nothing like a good old no-holds-barred match to really get the blood going. But like I said, we'd have to give Keiko a heads up. Not only was my cheek bruised for a week on top of everything, my ears didn't stop ringing for several hours after she informed me just how displeased she was."

"As fun as that screaming match must have been, we've both digressed. How about if we return to our initial topic of conversation?"

"Right, Hiei. You know, Kurama. I think it'll work out. If not, I'll just knock some sense into him, and send him to Yukina to be patched up. Have a little faith. I really think that you did good. Besides, at this rate, we'll get the full story of their lives outta it. That would be interesting."

"You know Yusuke, the way you say it, I can believe it."

"Good, cause they're our friends and it's our duty to protect them- even from themselves."

You're getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder

And I don't understand, and I don't understand

There's nothing that I regret more right now than tossing my hirui stone to Yukina, Hiei thought abysmally. Well, there are a lot of things I regret, but at the moment that stupid move is at the top of my list. Since Mukuro had returned the stone, he'd reverted to his former habit of staring into the depths of the gem for as long as time allowed, musing on various topics or simply relaxing, calm and content. Without the hirui stone as an outlet, Hiei found himself especially irritable and in pain. Should I go back to get my necklace? Should I actually see her? Her expression, she was so miserable, so pained when I told her…it felt like my chest was constricted. It still feels like my chest is constricted, like I can't breath or eat or sleep or do thing.

Despite all of his doubts on Yukina's feelings, there was an equally strong force pulling him in the opposite direction: his obligation and honor. Even if she hates me, even if she never wants to see me again, even if I only see her once more, I need to make sure she's properly taken care of. She needs to have someone look out for her, someone to make sure nothing ever happens to her, even if I can't. I'd never survive her death if I didn't do everything possible to prevent it to begin with.

Utterly torn, Hiei expertly leapt from tree to tree in the Makai. He'd been running for several days straight, stopping only occasionally to eat or sleep. It was late into the fifth day of his journey that Hiei realized whatever else might happen, his sense of honor far outweighed the potential pitfalls that he would encounter. I'll drop by to see Mukuro and warn her I'll be gone another couple of days. Then I should have just enough time to see Yukina once the week is up. And then I'll leave her alone, like I should have done so many years ago.

But if I kiss you where it's sore

If I kiss you where it's sore

Kuwabara's hand was gentle on Yukina's back as he solemnly escorted her inside.

"Why would you say that?" Yukina asked.

Kuwabara frowned slightly. "What do you mean?" he questioned in return.

"What you said, about Hiei being a good person. I've seen the way you two argue and fight. Yes, you are friends, but sometimes it seems to be a near thing. More often than not you seem to interact only because you are friends with Kurama and Yusuke. You are not the…glue of the group? It that the proper term?"

"Yeah, you are right, I guess. I mean, neither of us is the 'glue'- that would be more Urameshi's job, anyways. I guess that I'm trying to say that I'm not…I'm not like Hiei or Urameshi or Kurama. I've never been a youkai, became a youkai, or stopped being a youkai, or whatever it is that they've all got going on. I'm not the strongest or fastest or smartest. But what I can do, better than anyone else, is sense spiritual energy and ghosts and auras and whatever else comes my way. I just know things. And I know that whatever else can be said about Hiei, he's got a code of honor. That's something I respect. He might never be Urameshi, fighting for the good of the planet without being forced into it, but he's got this knight in armor-so-fucking-tarnished-you're-not-entirely-sure-it's-armor thing going on." Kuwabara scrabbled for a moment, trying to make Yukina understand. "The first time I met him, I had the urge to smack that smirk off his face more times that I have with any other person. I thought Urameshi was out of his mind, the idiot, to give Hiei that chance to betray us, back when we were on our first mission as a team. I was sure we were going to be dead- splat!- and all I could think was how badly I was going to curse Urameshi out when I saw him in the after life."

"But Urameshi just kept that look on his face, and when Hiei raised the lever, and we all came out from under the gate, muscles still aching, I couldn't help but look at his face. Yukina, Hiei never had anyone trust him so blindly. He…" Kuwabara shook his head, then continued in earnest, "He looked shocked, and surprised, and so utterly confused I couldn't say anything for a moment. And Urameshi didn't even bat an eyelash. He just took it in stride, as if giving Hiei his trust hadn't cost him anything, so sure that Hiei was a good person, so sure that Hiei deserved that extension of kindness." Kuwabara shook his head. "And then later, after Seiryu had killed Byakko, and Hiei stepped forwards to avenge his death, of all things- well not avenge, but that's a close enough term. Anyways, Kurama told Urameshi and me that Hiei had killed his own partners, just as Seiryu had. And yet, now, he was taking offense to it. And then, as if we weren't shocked enough, Kurama revealed that Hiei was confused, that Urameshi was changing his views or something like that. It doesn't really matter. But Yukina, that's my first impression of him. And even when I wanted to slap him, or beat him to a bloody pulp, or throttle him in his sleep, or toss him off the edge of a cliff- I never, ever doubted that Hiei is a man of men. Or, I guess youkai of youkais, or whatever. So no, while I never knew he was your brother, and I don't know everything about him, and even if he doesn't like me all that much, I'll vouch for him until the day I die."

Yukina's gaze turned to one of contemplation as she turned, watching Kuwabara's countenance. His passion, his kindness in being so willing to plead Hiei's case without being requested to do so. "Thank you for your words, but may I ask why you came out here to speak with me about this?"

Kuwabara scrunched up his face in embarrassment. "I just thought you should know," he finally mumbled without glancing at her.

"Thank you," Yukina repeated, more fervently this time. Then she stopped for a moment and withdrew from Kuwabara's hand. She turned to face him, expression serene and voice polite. "Kurama and Genkai and Yusuke and you have been so patient and understanding about this. You've all dissected and prodded and pushed onto me every moment of Hiei's life that you've had access to. While I am grateful for your consideration, I would like it if you all gave me some space until Hiei comes tomorrow. I would like some time to think privately."

Kuwabara looked nonplused at the reaction for a moment. "Yukina?" he said uncertainly.

She bowed, motions thrumming with a newly developed tension. Less than a day until he returns, and I don't even really know how I feel about all this. "I gave you my thanks, Kazuma. Please, I would appreciate it if you gave my time to consider all that everyone has told me."

Kuwabara took a step back, still unsure. Then, quicker than Yukina could respond, he had enveloped her in a brief and somehow searing hug. Then, without saying a word Kuwabara left. Yukina took a moment to recover her calm completely.

Swiftly, Yukina made her way through the compound and back to her room. As Genkai had promised earlier that day, a small pouch was set on the bureau in Yukina's room. Thin fingers grasped the bag and upended the contents into the other hand. Hirui stones rolled out of the bag and into her palm, each one no larger than the nail on her smallest fingers, each one as evenly matched as was possible. The pouch had another set of contents too, a long and thin piece of wire with a clasp already attached on one end.

Yukina stared at the precious gems blankly for a moment. Even though I thought I could handle this, thought I could handle knowing who my brother was, now I don't know if I can. I'm so conflicted. Part of me wants to scream and rage and cry because Hiei never told me that he was my brother. Another part wants to smother him in affection. A third part wants to push him away, to punish him for withholding his love for so long. A fourth part wants to pester him with question after question, relentlessly searching for every detail of his life. A fifth part wants to hate, to show him my bitterness, because he was one of the reason's for my mother's suicide. And that's not even the beginning of how I feel. And Hiei…he has shown me kindness in the past and saved my life more than once, while also betraying me with his greatest secret. A memory surged then, the shock and rapidly growing awe that had taken over his eyes as she had pleaded for Tarukane's life. The subtlest gentling of his face that had accompanied the rough agreement to her request.

Yukina looked out the window. "Mama, why is it the child must live with the consequences of those elder than them? Your death, Mama, changed so much. If you'd lived, you might have been able to tell me earlier I had a brother, or you might have been able to see him once more." Yukina asked aloud, griping the dual hirui stones at her neck. "I wish I knew more about you. I know you loved Hiei, but did you love our- Father? Did you hate him? Or was he nothing more than a chance at escaping that madness the lurked in every corner of Hyoga?" Yukina shook her head, wondering at the use of the word father. What do I call a man I've never met, a man whose blood I'm not entirely sure that I share? What do I call one of the many causes of my mother's death, of our mother's death? What do I call a man who never stayed?

But that's not really the point. That man is not here, has not ever been here. I have to deal with things now. Hiei…Hiei is my brother. There was that stab again, that feeling that this was all a surreal dream, that things were too convoluted to be true.

"Hiei is my brother." No, it doesn't sound any different when spoken. I didn't really expect it too, but… Yukina's eyes were inexplicably drawn back to the hirui stones sitting so innocently in her grip.

Yukina felt her body grow weary from the accumulated stress of the past week. It didn't help that everyone tried to visit at once, to give me their opinions and ideas. While it is nice to know they have such a high opinion of Hiei, it doesn't change the fact that he lied so long and I have no idea why- everyone studiously avoided that topic.

For what seemed the millionth time, Yukina was on the verge of tears. Frustrated, she wiped at them furiously, all of her carefully considered and ordered emotions swamping her at once. One, then two, then five, then twelve tears were falling, rapidly turning into a torrent. Through her wavering vision Yukina stared intently at Hiei's necklace, willing it to speak with her.

Two hours later, Yukina calmed. Still holding firmly to Hiei's hirui stone, she made her way to the window. I can't just go back, she realized slowly. I cannot profess to love my brother enough to leave Hyoga and abandon him at the first test of that faith. Hiei is my brother. This time she inhaled. "Hiei is my brother," she stated, forcing conviction into the words through sheer force of will. "Hiei is my brother," she repeated. It sounded more real, somehow. Hiei is my brother, and I will give him the chance to be that brother. And if I am lucky, he will offer that same chance to me in return. It won't be easy, and I'll still find myself driven to tears because of my brother. It will hurt.

"But it doesn't matter," Yukina whispered. "We are family. We are worth it."

With the torturous decision made, Yukina set to her work with abandon.

Will you feel better, better, better

Will you feel anything at all?

Will you feel better, better, better

Will you feel anything at all?

There had been no conscious agreement to gather; nevertheless, people slowly filtered into Genkai's temple. First Kuwabara and Shizuru made their appearance, followed by Kurama, then Yusuke and Keiko. All bore worried countenances, and no one was willing to be near anyone else. Yusuke and Kurama sparred somewhere in the woods without ever meeting each other's eyes, Shizuru smoked cigarette after cigarette, Kuwabara and Keiko studied for school. Even Genkai had chosen to spend her time otherwise occupied- she had taken up playing a video game and had not emerged.

Yukina ghosted through the halls, nodding if she saw the others but keeping to herself. I thought I would be annoyed to see them hovering. But it's oddly…comforting, as long as they don't take it upon themselves to interfere. Without thinking, she raised a hand and allowed it to rest over the obi of her kimono, feeling the slight indentations from the hirui stone bracelet tucked beneath her obi.

As the sun shifted it's position, forming the long shadows of evening, Yukina bit her lip. There's not been so much as a whisper of him this entire day. Hiei will be coming, she tried to convince herself. However, the more time that passed, the less likely it seemed he would return to the temple.

The sun had set without a single sign of Hiei's arrival. With the coming of darkness, the group had slowly moved towards the compound, though they still elected to give Yukina her space, instead gathering on the other side of the temple. Yukina sighed heavily for what seemed the hundredth time. Unable to stay seated on the porch for another moment, Yukina hurriedly returned to her room.

Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it, covering her face with her hands. A slow breath leaked out, quavering slightly. "It took you long enough," a low, rough voice said. Gasping, Yukina looked up.

Ruby eyes glittered at her from where Hiei was perched on her windowsill, neither fully in or out of the room. "Hiei!" The word was more an exhalation, more air than substance. Yukina launched herself towards her brother, stopping a mere inch away. Something about his eyes stopped her from touching him. Eyes that are so alike mine and yet so different, Yukina couldn't help thinking.

She backed up a little, but not so far as to allow Hiei to flee easily. Strained silence began to build between them, each waiting for the other to break the tension, each waiting for the other to begin to speak.

"Hello, brother," Yukina managed to say. The words hung in the air, neither accepted or rejected. Ten minutes passed. "Would you like some tea or something?" Yukina ventured.

Dark eyes flickered to hers. "Don't bother, Yukina," Hiei said. "I'm not going to be staying."

Such simple words brought on a complex stream of terror so absolute Yukina couldn't breath. "Don't," she whispered, and found the strength to demand in a stronger voice, "Don't you dare."

Hiei looked at her, face unguarded. As a result, his astonishment was painted across his face. "Don't?" he repeated in bewilderment.

"Yes," Yukina said with all the bluntness she could muster. "Don't you dare leave me again."

It was dark in the room still, but Hiei's eyes took on a suspicious shine. "Why?"

Even with her frustration and rage and love and desire swimming through her veins, there was one uncontroversial fact: Hiei was her brother.

Yukina reached out with a single hand touching Hiei's face so lightly that he might not have known he was being touched at all except he could see his sister, feel the softness of her fingers as they rested against his skin, could sense all the emotions roiling through her. "Because you're my brother, Hiei. And nothing can change that."

There was the lightest of sighs then, as light as Yukina's touch. Along with the sigh, Hiei turned his head the barest amount, leaning into the hand. They stayed like that for a moment before Yukina removed her hand.

Hiei opened his eyes in the absence of touch. Yukina simply stood in front of him, every line of her body completely open, completely unguarded. "I don't really know where to start this," she admitted quietly. "But I think that maybe we could start by just…talking."

With that heartfelt plea, Hiei found all of his intentions to leave his sister, to tell her goodbye, to take his abominable personality and actions far away from her, where she couldn't be hurt any further, fly out of the window.

"Fine," Hiei agreed, and then Yukina was in his arms, arms locked around his waist and face buried into his abdomen, and all he could think was that there was a threat and it was attacking him and no one touches me, no one can touch me! And then he was shoving the threat away, pulling out his katana more on instinct and leveling at the intruder into his personal space, chest heaving and eyes glazed.

When he came back to himself, Yukina was on the floor, sitting perfectly still. Hiei took a step back, horror filling every fiber of his body. Shaking hands sheathed his katana and he turned to leave. He was perched on the windowsill when he paused. "This is why, one of the thousand reasons why I never told you. I'm not…I don't do contact, I don't do love, I just can't. It's better if you're not connected to me," Hiei finished, voice cracking. "You're better off without your brother hanging around. Or rather, you're better off without me around."

Then Yukina was there again, hands resting gently on his shoulders without confining him, her forehead resting against his back. Hiei couldn't feel any fear in her body, "Don't leave, please," Yukina begged with more than a hint of a whimpering lacing her tone.

Hiei was unable to leave, drawn to the gentle hands that touched him without expectation, hands that gave nothing but unassuming love. "Let's talk," Yukina tried again. "It doesn't have to be anything big, or anything serious. Just…stay with me for now. Give a chance to us, to being a family. Please, Hiei. Please, brother, don't do this to me."

There was a flash of understanding as Hiei turned, numb, as though he wasn't really inhabiting his body. This is how Kurama feels every time he looks at his mother. This adoration, this adulation, this pure need. This is why he never left. I teased him endlessly, talking about ridiculous attachments and human love, but I never understood why he would risk limb and life for the mere possibility of keeping her safe for as long as he was able. This love, without barriers or conditions or broken faith to hinder it, pure and soft and kinder than almost anything I've experienced. I nearly killed her just now, and she hasn't pulled away from me. It's like nothing but her exists. Hiei couldn't help but spare a moment of wonder to think on what might've happened if he'd admitted who he was earlier.

Yukina led him to the bed and sat next to him, kneeling. She gave him more space this time, leaving only their hands intertwined. This time, Yukina didn't wait for Hiei to break the silence. "You know," she began softly, gently, "I don't really know why you hid your identity for so long." Hiei's hand fisted under her palm, and with every ounce of patience dredged up Yukina simply held her hand there, without a hint of pressure. "And I will want to know the answers, someday. But we can take that at our own pace. I just felt you should know that as much as I love you, I'm not going to start out by pretending that everything will be immediately perfect. I am not happy that you chose to pretend you were not my brother." Her gaze was even and un-accusing as she informed him in a low but passionate tone, "I will not start out with lies."

He flinched at that, and she let him. Then, with her other hand moving slowly enough that Hiei could easily track the movement, Yukina cupped his cheek with a cool hand, wanting, needing him to see just how much she loved him, how they would get through this. Hiei stared at her, transfixed.

Yukina then blinked, and the spell was broken. Two sets of breath hitched at the exact same time, then smoothed again. "I suspected, you know." When Hiei only continued to stare at her blankly, she felt obligated to elaborate.

"I suspected that you were my brother," Yukina clarified.

Hiei gave her a look that stated quite plainly that those words had been the last he expected to hear. "How?" He managed, voice forced past the lump in his throat.

Yukina gave him an exasperated look that was almost painfully ordinary. "I'm kind, not stupid," she chided gently, no heat accompanying her words. "At first, I believed it to be wishful thinking. I did not know who my brother was, so I thought I was just projecting my feelings onto you; you were filled with more than righteous anger at Tarukane. You were enraged at his behavior of me. Wishful thinking quickly gave way to suspicion, however." Yukina huffed a humorless laugh. "Like the fact that Kurama and Yusuke couldn't stop teasing you about my search. The sly glances exchanged by Botan and Keiko when we were together. The look you would give them when others got to close, as if daring them to try something."

Hiei didn't acknowledge the one-sided discussion, locked into place and staring out of the window, still somewhat numb, unsure of the reaction that Yukina was expecting. Yukina sighed, and didn't press Hiei. Instead, she continued with her story. "After that, it wasn't long before I started comparing our looks. The same almond-shaped red eyes, the same-shaped face, the same stature. You were without a family, though no one would tell me more than that, saying that only you should talk to me your family. Suspicion finally resolved into conviction, though I still wasn't sure why you were keeping it a secret, since everyone seemed to know about it."

A guilty look flitted over Hiei's face. He wanted to apologize, to beg for Yukina's forgiveness, but something deeper stopped him, screaming that he wasn't worthy of it, and how dare he consider Yukina family- he was torn and remained silent.

"My test was when you finally left, giving you my hirui stone. I thought it was a golden opportunity, to see how you would respond. When you didn't seem to consider my hirui stone a big deal, I began to think I might be wrong. When no word came from you for a year, then two, then more…I didn't know what to do. My best candidate for being my brother had set me back at square one." Yukina stopped then, sensing more than knowing that Hiei was reaching his breaking point; he needed time to absorb this, to deal with his emotion before he could reach out to her again. She removed her hand without ceremony.

Then, being careful with her movement, she leaned forward and brushed her lips to his cheek; she was not offended when he stiffened, pulling his face out of range. Yukina simple nodded her acceptance, though her heart had started to ache ferociously. I'm the one doing all the reaching out. He's barely said a word!

Hiei stood, a lost child seeking comfort without knowing were to go. He had his hands on the windowsill, on the verge of launching himself out when panic overtook Yukina. "Wait!" she called frantically, hands already scrabbling at her neck. Without hesitation she stood pulling Hiei's hirui stone off. She couldn't tell how she knew the difference between the two necklaces; she simply did.

She held the precious gem out to him, a silent offering. His hand lingered on top of hers as he retrieved his necklace, letting her know that he would return, even if he didn't know when. He was about to turn to depart when she realized that she had almost forgotten her second gift. "Sorry, just wait one more moment," she asked, hand slipping underneath her obi.

Hiei's face shifted from something indefinable to surprise. What else could she have for me? She's already returned my hirui stone, so… Whatever Hiei had been expecting, it wasn't what Yukina revealed.

A bracelet was laying on her palm, twenty three perfectly matched hirui stones strung out on a thin wire, silver clasp holding the entire affair together. Hiei's stunned visage told Yukina that yet another explanation would be needed.

"I don't know if you were ever told this, but hirui stones bring happiness to people. They steal away pain, rage, depression…so I made this. They're my hirui stones, stones that I cried out of love for my brother, and I know that you might not want this, might not want to hear this, but I can't help it. Hiei, please take this. If I can help you even the slightest bit, I want to." Yukina couldn't resist now, couldn't resist the urge to touch her brother, to know that he was real and that somehow, against every odd and traumatic event in his life he had survived. "If I can ease even a small discomfort, to know that I helped you in the same way you've made sure I was safe and sheltered and loved time and time again," Yukina's eyes started filling, and she found herself somewhat detached, wondering how after this week she had enough liquid in her body to cry any more.

Hiei didn't know what part, her pleas or her tears or the warm touch that broke the last of the barriers he had in place, the ones he'd manage to keep even as he realized that Yukina loved him unconditionally. He took one step forward, then a second, and then he was being pulled back onto the bed. He couldn't seem to stop holding onto Yukina, his anchor, his sister, his family.

His family.

Without warning, Hiei began to sob, burying his face into Yukina stomach, arms tightening around her, needing to be comforted so badly he couldn't breath, could only cry every tear he had not been able to throughout his life. The sobs seemed to go on for an eternity, and he was only dimly aware of the slow, soft touches on his skin, the arms that were wrapped around him, making him feel more secure, more safe than he had in his entire life. The realization only made his tears flow faster, each one absorbed by Yukina's kimono. Then there were delicate fingers running through his hair, a gentle acceptance of everything that Hiei had thrown at her so far, of every action and reaction.

Hours had surely passed before the tears had even slowed; when Hiei came back to himself, there was absolutely no light in the room. His body was curled around Yukina's, arms locked around her chest in a crushing hug, face still buried into Yukina's abdomen. Their legs were intertwined, in a complete abandon of any pretenses. Yukina's arms were more loosely positioned, one rubbing soothingly on his back, the other hand running soft fingers along the hair at his temple. Her cheek was pressed gently against the top of his head, her torso curled protectively around him. Yukina was humming tunelessly.

Neither spoke, more content in this rich silence than they had before. Even as Hiei's breathing slowed, however, the hands never stopped their movement. Through the wrenching sobs, Hiei's eyes had remained clenched shut, body tense as each sob wracked his body. Now his torso and limbs slowly relaxed, Yukina's tender ministrations lulling him towards sleep. His breathing grew even, though a slight rasp remained in his throat from his unbidden tears. Even his eyes began to slid shut, mind on the cusp of unconsciousness.

Tears leaked out more slowly now, and because they no longer disappeared into the fabric of Yukina's kimono, the koorime found that as she had suspected, the tears formed hirui stones, every bit as perfect and lovely as her own. Hiei shifted, snuggling a little closer. Her hands stilled for a breath of time as she intently studied her brother. She traced his features with her eyes, noting the hint of dark circles under his eyes and the surprisingly soft skin of his face. The lips, forming a tiny round 'o' as he breathed softly, each exhalation heating the fabric under his mouth. She drank in all the little details, the tiny signs of life and emotion and wonder and sheer ordinariness that are second nature to most families.

Hiei shifted a second time, tightening his hold on her waist and she resumed her slow and sweet touches, murmuring soft reassurances. Hiei settled, and his breathing became completely even as he teetered, then fell completely into a deep and welcoming sleep.

The moon began to rise, alleviating the darkness that had been tucked into every corner of the room. Despite this, Yukina did not drop into her own comforting and healing sleep. Nor did her fingers stop their tactile lullaby. She sat there, the only signs of life a pair of breaths, each matching the other without ever thinking about it.

The moon had painted the room with a silver glow for several hours before Yukina broke the unconscious rhythm with a deep inhalation. "Oh, brother of mine," she began in a whisper, "We've been given a hard path to walk. Life before wasn't easy, but now we each have something in particular to lose. Family."

Silence reigned for several more breaths before Yukina began again. "It will be difficult, for you and I. For brother and sister, never knowing each other from the start of things. I will cling to you. You will disregard me. I'll struggle to understand what you've gone through. You'll compare pain against pain, even knowing that all pain stands alone. We'll mourn for our mother in private. I'll be bitter over the fact that I was not worthy enough for my mother to continue her life. You will feel bitter knowing I had what you only wished you might achieve. I'll wonder why you can't handle love while you'll wonder why I offer it to everyone freely. I'll worry when you leave me, wondering if there will be a time when you just don't come back. You'll wonder how you can ever leave me again, worrying that you didn't leave me in good enough care. I'll smoother you with affection until you want to kill me just to get away from it. You'll avoid me some days, hurting me to the point of tears. I'll try to force myself into every aspect of your life, trying to learn more about my brother to the point of invading personal space. You'll struggle with showing me an iota of emotion, leaving me wondering what place I have in you life." The lightest of sighs, not of sadness or pity, but of welcome and acceptance.

Then there was a slight chuckle. "I'll even bet we'll suffer for days over our first argument; you'll be unable to apologize and you'll fear that I'll stop loving you and I'll wonder how you can't understand something so simple and feel agonized for days that I could have ever said such things to you, my one and only brother." Then the laughter left her voice completely, becoming far more muted. "There will be screaming matches, and tears, and the urge to kill each other, and regretting each other a siblings, and miscommunication, and false claims, and barriers, and secrets, and pain that is somehow harsher than any other endured because it comes from family." Another sigh, heavier this time. "But dearest brother, dearest Hiei, it will be worth it. It will be agonizing, but we will heal together, mending wounds neither of us knew that we had, speaking to questions and worries whose answers can only come from family. Hiei, at the end of the day, it won't really matter what was said or done or seen because we will not hate each other; no matter what you say about love, it is unconditional. I don't care- we will get through this. We will never be perfect, but I don't care. You are my brother, and I will tell you that I love you on my dying breath if it means that you'll believe me. We will make it work because I am worth it, and so are you."

Yukina shifted so slowly her movement could barely be seen, leaning down and kissing her brothers forehead. He leaned into the touch, a soft sigh escaping. It was only then that Yukina moved the pillows around them, supporting both figures on all sides. The cover was next, though Hiei was as good as a blanket, the natural heat of his body keeping both warm. The blanket was tucked securely around them.

It was only then that Yukina slid down next to her brother, ignoring Hiei's hirui stones that clustered around her body, and curled up completely against her brother's warmth.

It was only then that she closed her eyes, finally ready for sleep, breath mingling gently with her brother's.

It was only then that a bright smile spread across her face, more genuine than any smile in her life.

It was only then that she looked forward to the following day with pure, unadulterated love and hope blossoming in chest.

It was only then that Yukina followed Hiei into sleep.

Anything at all

Will you feel anything at all

Anything at all

Will you feel anything at all

Anything at all...

The End