AN: I've been really sick of something all this time I've been on phanfiction, and I wanted to share it with everyone. Flames are welcome, because they'll just make me laugh my head off at your stupidity. Obviously, friendly reviews are welcome too. I hope you like my poem.
Phantom Stereotypes
I like Leroux so I MUST be insane
I like Claude Raines, so I MUST be lame.
I like Susan Kay, so I MUST be emo.
I like Argentino, that's REALLY low.
I like Charles Dance, so I MUST be meek.
I like Herbert Lom, so I MUST be a freak.
I like Lon Chaney, so I MUST act like a mime.
I like Robert Englund, that's a true crime.
I like the stage show, so I MUST always sing along.
I like Michael Crawford, so I MUST burst into song.
Now, ladies and gents, may I present,
the reason for most of this ill-mannered hype:
Phan-dom's biggest stereotype!
I like Gerard Butler so I MUST be a teen.
Stupid, squealing, and never too keen.
I like Gerik Phantom, so I MUST write like crap.
Spelling errors, MarySues, all riddled with sap!
The plot MUST be lame
(God forbid I know the Phantom's real name)
"Eric" must be cliche and "smexy" and "sheek"
"Kristine" must be helpless and sickeningly sweet.
"Raul" must always be drunk, evil and even have rabies
Not to mention that nest of little EC babies.
I MUST only like Erik because he's so "hot".
Not care for his voice, or even the plot.
Let alone other characters, heavens no!
I MUST only worship his abs and tan glow,
I happen to like that movie, so I MUST not know there are other Phantoms out there.
I MUST not have read the book, heard about it, nor care.
Because of our preferences, phanphiction has gone to waste.
Here's what you've been dishing out--would you like a taste?
Constant sniping and teasing, and making fun.
If you snap back, the enemy's won.
Leroux fans hate MC, and MC-fans hate Gerry.
It's like a terrible disease we all carry.
And I'm tired of it, arent' you?
Alone, there's not a thing I can do.
But if you all help me, somehow, someway,
Phanphiction may be a peaceful place one day.