A/N: Ugh… Sick… I hate being sick--I've got that strain of strep that you only get once every five or so years that lasts for FOREVER and has ALL the symptoms... I went to the doctor basically in tears because I hurt so badly... Anyway, about the story: I decided to try a different, more narrative approach for this, but I'm not sure how it turned out. This is the first story, as well as the first lemon I've ever written while on pain killers. O_O Let's hope it turned out well, yes? Is a Nihon fic, so minor spoilers, if any.

LuCK oF THe CaRDs

His entire life, he was told he was unlucky. Not worth even taking a second glance at. That he was destined to only steal lives, not give them. No matter how hard he tried, he could not heal. No matter how much he smiled, he could not bring joy.

He cried openly now, tears falling from his single cerulean eye, his fingers digging into the sheets. A soft sob came from his mouth, and he quickly clamped a hand over his lips, shaking.

Since his parent's deaths, he'd always been alone. Cold and cruel, he obsessed on a single thing until it consumed him whole. He'd always pushed people away, never drawn them close. He couldn't bear to loose another precious person; he couldn't bear knowing that sometimes, strength couldn't save a dying soul.

He lifted his remaining hand to cup the blonde's cheek, his fingers sliding against tear-slicked skin, soft, warm, and damp under his touch.

A twin denied of any happiness, any chance at love; a boy, ripped from his family, his birthright destroyed in flames and blood… All for the sake of a stranger's wish.

In a way, they were lucky that they'd been chosen to be manipulated so; any other way that the cards could've been dealt… would have left them alone.

"You bastard," Fai snapped, drawing back. He tried very hard to glare at Kurogane through his tears, but it wasn't very effective.

The ninja cocked an eyebrow, "You don't say."

Fai grit his teeth, more tears spilling from his eye. He felt like he'd already done his fair share of crying, but the tears still came. He constantly waited for some jab from Kurogane, but it never really came, so he kept on crying. He had the sudden urge to smack the swordsman once more, so he did.

Or at least tried to.

Even in his injured state, Kurogane's reflexes were swift; he grabbed Fai by his wrist, mere inches from his face. "No," he murmured. "Tell me, why are you still crying?"

Guilt swam to the surface of the magician's face, and he bit a trembling lip. "…If you died, too… because of me," Fai murmured, turning his eye away from his companion's crimson gaze. "It's because I'm such bad luck," he whispered with a shuddering sob.

Kurogane gave a quick, irritated sigh, regarding the other man's face. He had to say, at least, that Fai was opening up to him—finally. He wondered what it took; all his past swept away at once, the battle, the sudden realization that he didn't have to run, or the fact that they'd both almost died, more than once. But they were here now, and there were matters that needed to be tended to.

"If my magic had been enough, I'd have gladly died to save you," the blonde continued, his hair falling into his face. "But I can't do anything good with it! I couldn't save you; you still… All because of me!"

Kurogane brought Fai's palm to his lips, kissing the center gently. "No. I'm not some fragile doll; I have a goal to see through, and I'm not going to die before that."

"To return home?" Fai asked, a bemused smile gracing his lips. "Well, you're here."

"No. To protect someone."

"The princess? Your princess?" The blonde asked, somewhat bitter. He could never be pure like Sakura; he could never be as powerful as Tomoyo. He couldn't hold his ninja's attention…

"You."

Fai gave a soft gasp, his cheeks flushing softly. "I'm capable of doing that myself," he said, slightly mollified. He leaned forward, hovering over Kurogane. His heart raced; his brain kept telling him to push this man away… but his body and his heart drew closer… Maybe he didn't have to be pure…? He wanted nothing more to be close to him at this moment, to be protected in his arms, to know to at least one person in the entire dimension, the entire universe, that he was not a curse, but a gift. "Perfectly so. I'm not fragile either."

Kurogane snorted in a derisive way. "You are."

"How so?"

"Your kindness," Kurogane quoted. He watched as Fai swallowed, his skin turning from milky to ashen. The ninja dropped Fai's hand, opting to instead reach out to tangle his fingers into the vampire-wizard's hair. "But then… Maybe that's why…"

Kurogane pulled Fai forward, until their lips were just barely touching. They'd not danced this particular waltz for many worlds, not since Shura; there had been excessive interruptions, too much sadness, and so many walls that had separated them since. And even in Shura there was no way to convey the depth of their emotions. There was so much more to their devotion than just love or desire…

The ninja enjoyed the helpless look of longing that graced Fai's face; and he noted, somewhere in his mind that was already clouded by lust, that the smaller man had absolutely no idea about how to wear a yukata (however, that fact suited Fai just fine; it was another adorable quirk that the softer side of Kurogane recognized).

"But then what?" Fai breathed softly.

Kurogane pondered about what he was about to say: it must have been the blood loss, because otherwise, he'd never even think about saying something so absolutely cliché and sappy. But his kindness, his willingness to sacrifice everything for anyone so endeared the blonde to the ninja; it was an infallible weakness. It could never be remedied because it was so ingrained into Fai's nature. The wizard could never be selfish—he always thought of others first. He wanted to protect Fai from himself, teach him to want something on his own; assure him that it would not hurt someone… It was the first thing he fell in love with…

He would never, in a million years, even on his eventual deathbed, admit this to the other man. So, instead of speaking, he pulled Fai into a harsh kiss.

Fai braced himself above the other man, kissing him passionately. Never would he have thought he could fall so entirely in love with someone—that the walls he constructed so no one could see his hurts and his shames would be so utterly destroyed that he could be content in kissing and touching and revealing himself as a whole with another human being. He recalled his words as a child, stuck in the valley of death; however, he could not die now. Not now that he finally loved. No, not after finding something this wonderful. Here was something in his life that he wanted to protect and consecrate. This part of his soul was venerable, the only part, and he would walk through fire to keep it so. To die now would be to spit on Kurogane's kindness; to throw this feeling in the dirt would disregard the entire workings of the universes; to disrespect this love that he felt would be blasphemy to all the gods of all the worlds that they had ever traveled to, and would travel to.

Kurogane parted Fai's lips with his tongue, deepening their kiss. He swept his tongue across the slighter man's, tasting him. The blonde shifted the angle as he moved slowly, climbing on top of his companion. Kurogane slid deeper into the vampire's mouth, feeling Fai rub his own tongue to his.

As their kiss intensified, the ninja was faced with a rather irritating new dilemma: he needed two hands to do what he wanted. He gave a soft growl.

Fai pulled back with a lopsided grin on his swollen lips. "Yes, Kuro-sama?" he called, his musical voice tinkling with amusement. He licked his lips slowly, watching the man below him.

Kurogane dragged his fingers through Fai's hair, disentangling it from the long black ribbon that bound the locks into place. His hair fell forward, framing his face in soft wisps, brushing across his shoulders, the ends curling just above his collar. It suited him very much, Kurogane decided, pulling Fai down to kiss him once more. It wasn't like the swordsman would ever admit it, but when Fai had started to grow his hair out he'd worried whether it would look right the man or not (Again, it was something he would never, ever, admit…)

He tentatively slid his hand from Fai's neck, wondering if Fai would stop kissing him if he moved.

Fai shivered as Kurogane's hand slid slowly down his back, kissing the man harder.

Kurogane slid his mouth from Fai's, a thin trail of saliva following his mouth. The blonde panted softly, his eye sliding shut as the larger man's mouth assaulted his neck and collar bone. He tipped his head back, the collar of his yukata sliding down his shoulder to rest against the crook of his elbow.

The ninja gave a lusty laugh, his hand closing around Fai's obi, tugging it completely off with a deft flick of his fingers. The outer robe, as well as the inner one fell open, exposing the blonde's body. Kurogane eyed the pale, smooth skin; shadows of bruises and scars from Celes, already healed by the vampire blood, marred the snowy expanse. A light flush was crawling down the man's chest, and Fai shivered, gasping and blinking in surprise at the suddenness of cold air hitting his chest. "Oh," he mumbled, blushing. "I didn't know it came off that easy…"

Kurogane laughed at Fai's vague tone; "It wouldn't if you had any clue how to put it on," he muttered, sliding his mouth down to the wizard's chest. The robes hung off his body, pooling around Kurogane; if anyone were to walk in the room at the moment, they'd not see Fai's body at all. Kurogane wanted to keep it that way—Fai was his.

Fai nuzzled his face into the darker man's hair. "It looks like Kuro-sama is an expert in taking it off," he teased, his fingers dancing down his companion's back.

Slightly irritated at the accusation behind Fai's words, Kurogane decided to be a little vindictive. He moved his head to the left, biting down on a nipple. Fai gave a slight mewl, his body tensing at the sudden pressure and pain.

Satisfied with the reaction, Kurogane sucked softly, flicking his tongue against the nub. Fai's fingers curled into the cloth of the ninja's shirt as he moaned softly. "God, Kuro-sama," he cried, shivering heavily. How long had it been since Shura? His body reacted violently, even though he struggled for composure; a familiar heat began to surge to his lower stomach as he arched into the swordsman's touch. Kurogane continued his ministrations, paying equal attention to the right one. After a bit, he pulled away, leaving Fai shivering.

Kurogane leaned up, bracing himself on his elbow, kissing Fai deeply. The blonde responded eagerly, tenderly, his hands cupping Kurogane's face, his fingers tracing the swordsman's cheekbones and jaw line. "Oh, gods," Fai breathed, pulling away, "I want you," he whimpered. "I'm sorry I even tried to run from you…"

The Japanese man chuckled, pulling Fai close, his hand resting in the small of the mage's back, their hips and erections pressed together tightly. "The past doesn't matter," he whispered.

Fai smiled, almost sobbing in relief; life had never dealt him a good hand… but if it meant throwing away one good card on a dangerous whim—his life in Celes, the kindness Ashura had showed him as he grew up—to see if he could draw a better one— Kurogane's love, a life away from sorrow, all the fun he had, and could have, with the children and Mokona— he would gladly, gladly, be thankful for the initial hand. He kissed Kurogane hard, his hands sliding down the man's torso, careful of his bandages.

He'd been so scared; he'd come so close to losing this man twice. He trembled—he would have given anything to keep him alive. He'd gone against Ashura, knowing he'd be killed… there was no world for him without Kurogane. A surge of guilt crashed through his desire, focusing everything. This was how Kurogane had felt in Tokyo… and he'd….

He pressed his mouth to the soldier's with renewed fervor, desperately clinging. His fingers fumbled with Kurogane's obi, the loose sleeves of his own yukata and his unfamiliarity with the garments hindering him. He growled into the kiss, nipping at Kurogane's tongue in irritation. He scuffled with the material until he pushed it to either side of the man's hips, smirking against their kiss.

Kurogane rolled his eyes. He pushed his tongue deep into Fai's mouth, exploring every dip and curve of the other man's mouth, his hand inching down the blonde's backside. He slid a finger inside of the magician.

Fai shuddered, gasping heavily. "Ahn! K-kuro-sa-sama, a little warning, please?" he half-moaned.

"Nah," Kurogane retaliated, pushing in a second finger. He watched in pleasure, his erection throbbing in anticipation as Fai all but writhed against him.

The ninja pressed his hand into Fai, up to his knuckles. He stretched his fingers apart, grinding his teeth as the blonde hissed in pain, pressing his face into his good shoulder. He hissed himself as Fai bit down into his skin. He pulled back slightly, hooking his fingers as he searched.

Fai groaned; he'd forgotten how unpleasant this part was. He pressed his teeth deeper into Kurogane's skin to keep from shouting, tears burning in the back of his eyes. Just when he felt like he couldn't take it any longer, the ninja hit that spot inside of him. He moaned heavily, pressing back into the man's hand.

Kurogane rubbed against the spot, Fai panting and squirming on top of him. He pressed a kiss to Fai's forehead, damp with the light sheen of sweat that covered his entire body. He pulled his hand away from the blonde, who whimpered at the loss. He moved his hand to Fai's hip, his fingers closing around the slightly boney curve. "Sit up," he ordered.

Fai shakily did so, a smile gracing his lips. "I'll be easy on you, Kuro-koi," he whispered huskily, "You are still injured after all," he commented, straddling the shinobi. Lust shone on his face, combined with a mix of sheer adoration and the ever present guilt that lurked in the depths of his eyes.

"Shut up," Kurogane growled, squeezing Fai's hip as the vampire positioned himself over his painfully hard member.

Fai chuckled, lowering himself onto his companion's erection, gritting his teeth as he fully sheathed himself upon it. He sat, squeezing Kurogane's hips with his thighs. He reached up, gripping Kurogane's shoulders tightly, careful of his left one. His breath came out in shallow pants, his eye screwed tightly shut. Kurogane smirked, and after what he deigned to be a proper adjustment time, he roughly thrust his hips up against Fai, embedding himself deeper into the mage's tight, hot body.

Fai fell forward, bracing himself against Kurogane's chest, moaning heavily. He rode against the larger man, whimpering heavily, "K-k-kuro-sama!"

Kurogane groaned, tightening his fingers against Fai's skin—he knew there would be bruises there in the morning. "Move, dammit," he hissed, his hips bucking upwards.

Fai mewled in pleasure, slowly lifting his hips up, slamming them down against Kurogane's.

"Yes, just like that. Again."

Fai complied, moving faster this time. He held tightly to Kurogane, his eye heavily lidded with lust and pleasure. Kurogane shoved himself up to meet every movement of Fai's hips, pushing the man down with his grip on his hip.

Fai bent forward, struggling to keep upright; his hands slipped off of Kurogane's shoulders, his fingers tangling in the sheets. He bounced against the ninja, shifting his hips slightly each time, struggling to find the position that would cause Kurogane's heat to hit him at his prostate. After a moment of squirming, he angled his hips upward as the ninja gave a rather violent thrust. The blonde cried out, his arms collapsing beneath him.

He rode against Kurogane, whimpering as waves of pleasure crashed through him; liquid heat pooled in his lower stomach, threatening to spill from him.

Kurogane jerked his hips upwards, pushing Fai down with his hand, watching hungrily as the blonde's face contorted in ecstasy, enjoying how the vampire's hair hung around his face, dark with sweat, sticking to his pink face, how every time he gasped he could catch a glimpse of his teeth. He thrust up again, knowing from how Fai moaned and tightened around him, he was hitting that spot again and again.

Fai dug his fingers into the bed, feeling his nails extract from his fingers, deep into the futon. He choked back a scream, feeling his body get all light and funny as pleasure overloaded his senses. He struggled to keep his eyes open, white stars dancing against his vision. He crashed his mouth down onto Kurogane's, tasting blood on his mouth. He groaned, lifting his hips up so that Kurogane was almost fully extracted from him before forcefully slamming himself back down. He screamed into his lover's mouth, shuddering.

Kurogane groaned heavily, feeling himself nearing the brink with that last movement. He slid his hand down between Fai's legs, grabbing the blue-eyed man's shaft. He squeezed, stroking it in time with his quick, rough thrusts.

"Harder, please!" Fai moaned urgently, bowing his head against Kurogane's chest. The ninja complied, jerking the smaller man hard. Fai clenched around the swordsman, shuddering heavily. He came violently, covering Kurogane's hand and torso with semen; he fell limp against him, trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm.

The Japanese man hissed in pleasure, roughly pushing his hips up into the lithe man before cumming deep within the once-magician.

Fai sat up on top of Kurogane, slowly extracting himself, Kurogane's seed sliding down his thighs. His own cum was smeared across his stomach and chest from where he fell against his lover. A tired smile graced his lips, and Kurogane raised a sticky hand to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind the vampire's ear. Fai climbed off of the man, curling against his side. "We're going to have to change your bandages and sheets," he mumbled hoarsely.

"You made the mess; there's no we about it," Kurogane grumbled fondly, kissing Fai's forehead.

Fai's eye drifted shut, his mouth turned upward in an exhilarated smile. Kurogane reached over, pulling Fai's yukata over his nude front, the material sticking to the cooling semen on his body.

"I'm so glad you're okay," the blonde whispered, "…So lucky…"

Kurogane smirked; yes, he was lucky that he was dealt this hand in life. At first, it seemed like he didn't have anything going for him. But he persisted… and got this.

"Yes," he murmured, nodding.

Fai drifted off to sleep, exhausted from the vigil he kept over Kurogane while the man was still unconscious and from their lovemaking. At this moment, curled next to Kurogane, still warm from being held, his entire body sore from being loved… He had no regrets.

And was even thankful to all the misfortune… Because if life had dealt them anything different, they wouldn't be like this.

END