A/N: This isn't really related to the story, I was just inspired by this week's episode (because we were so, so close for a minute there). So yeah, there's spoilers for the April 13 eco-nut episode. How I wish it had turned out. We pick up more than halfway through the episode, when House is talking to Wilson. Also, I wrote this right after watching the episode and only went through it for mistakes once, so bear with me.
"Gummy bears," House said derisively. "You hate gummy bears."
"People can change." Wilson said, picking them up.
"No. And more importantly, I hate them." Wilson recognized the look House got when he was catching the scent.
"Fine. Then I won't offer you any."
"You manipulative bitch." House said. Wilson smiled. "You're not suddenly eating healthy because you want to. You're eating healthy because you know I don't want to. I've been mooching food for ten years. It either suddenly started bothering you this week, or you're,"
"Screwing with you," Wilson agreed. "It needed to be done." He went on to explain.
"You manipulative bitch." House said, and started to walk away. He suddenly stopped, turned, and limped off faster in the opposite direction, snatching the gummy bears out of Wilson's hand as he went.
House burst into the exam room. "Damn. I was hoping to interrupt something." He waited for the little boy and his mother to leave. "Your favour's repaid. Patient's cured. He's already packing for his next Earth Day Extravaganza next week."
"He almost died!" Cameron picked up the file. "He can't take a few days at home with his family?"
"People only change after trauma. If they'd wanted to change before the trauma … or if they've watched too many after school specials."
"You're talking about Chase," Cameron realized.
"I'm talking about you." He corrected her. "You lost husband number one, no surprise that the death of a colleague would make you question another long-term lease."
"You teaching commitment classes? Cause I thought you were pretty busy with your lectures on-"
"I'm sure that was going to be hysterical," House cut her off, "But let me just give you the Cliff's Notes version. Don't try to dump him by dumping cases on me." He turned.
"I told you I never wanted to dump Chase," Cameron looked hurt.
House turned, saw her expression, and looked slightly away, pressing on resolutely. "Absolutely. You wanted him to dump you. That's totally different. Much less guilt. Either way, you're out of reasons to avoid him. He went to the door and paused in it, looking for a moment like there was something else. "Kutner was a pretty dumb one to begin with." He said, and closed the door. Then it opened and something flew at her. She fumbled it (no surprise) and by the time she looked back up he was gone. She bent to pick it up. A package of gummy bears.
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Cameron approached Chase in the locker room. She took a deep breath. "I should never have postponed our vacation."
Chase half-turned and then turned away again. "I should never have planned it." He said bitterly.
Cameron smiled sadly and gathered herself again. "I found the ring, in your sock." She said, voice and composure breaking. He looked up at her. She met his eyes, smiled, tears leaking from her eyes. "I didn't want you to propose out of some knee-jerk reaction to what happened to Kutner," she said, voice breaking again. She looked back down at her feet.
She didn't see him nod slightly. She only heard him respond, "Well, I guess you don't have to worry about that anymore."
"I'm not! I-" she paused. What was she here for? "I just – don't want this to be over."
He gave her a hard look. "Are you proposing to me?"
Cameron perked up a little. He still cared, that much was obvious. "I'm proposing that – we go back to the way things were. Before I found the ring."
"After I broke up with you? After you ruined my planned proposal, you expect me to-,"
"I'm not expecting," Cameron assured him quickly. "I'm – hoping,"
They looked at each other for a long minute. Finally, grudgingly, Chase trudged toward her. She smiled. Then he dropped to one knee and smiled.
The smile dropped from Cameron's face. "Chase – I'm – I'm just not ready to get married. I mean, I want to be with you, I'm just," she faltered at his angry, hurt look. "I'm just not ready." She repeated lamely.
"When will you be? Will you ever be?" He asked bitterly, getting up and going back to his locker.
"I – do you need an answer?" Cameron was close to tears again.
"No. I don't. I've got all the answers I need, thanks." He slammed his locker shut and walked past her to the door.
"Wait – what does that mean? Chase?"
He turned to look at her. "You're never going to be ready. Let me know when I can pick up my things."
Cameron sat on a bench and cried.
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She had a cardboard box out and was packing up Chase's things. In order to minimize further contact, she gave him everything that was even remotely his, including most everything he'd ever given her. She heard the knock and checked the time. He was early.
"I'm not done just yet, but," she stopped abruptly when she pulled the door open and saw that it was not Chase on the other side.
"You didn't thank me for the gummy bears," he whined.
"Thanks, House. You can go now." She started to shut the door, but he stuck his cane in and forced it back open.
"I've decided that dinner would be sufficient." He limped toward the kitchen.
"House, this isn't a good time. I mean it, get out!"
"Ahh!" he cried, collapsing.
"House?" she rushed to his side. "Are you okay?"
"You're going to kick out a drug-addicted cripple? What if I overdosed?"
"House, you're neither a drug addict nor suicidal."
"You think I'm a drug addict."
"I think you're confusing me with another female doctor, the one who's currently chasing you." She left him, as he was obviously just messing with her, and went back to searching her living room for Chase-related objects. "Why don't you go bug her?"
"That's so last week." He said dismissively, getting up and sitting on the sofa. "He's not taking this, is he?"
"House, please, please, just leave before he gets here. I swear, I will never ask you for anything ever again." She begged.
"See, the problem is, that not only deprives me of fun now, but also in the future." He said cryptically. She sighed dramatically.
"What can I do to get you to leave?"
"Nothing. I miss my wombat." He shrugged and picked up the remote. She made a throttling motion with her hands and stormed off into the bedroom to check that one last time.
There was a knock.
"Honey, someone's at the door!" House yelled.
"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?" she threw him a dirty look.
"That was fast." Chase said bitterly as soon as she opened the door.
"I didn't invite him." She muttered, shoving the box at him.
He looked down and saw all his gifts. "Really cleaning house, aren't you?"
"I'm not the one who ended this." She said quietly, trying not to let House hear them. She had the door half-closed behind her.
"Hon, I need more chips!" he shouted.
"I'm not the one with another man on their couch." He said angrily.
"You know, wombat, I really have missed how easy you make it for me," House said. Cameron jumped. He was right behind her, sticking his head around the door.
Chase rolled his eyes and left.
"What's for dinner?" House asked brightly.
"I saw you in the cafeteria with Wilson earlier. You had dinner."
"That was a whole two hours ago. And you owe me!" he whined.
"House, get out. I'm not in the mood."
He shut the door. She tried to push back, but he was heavier. She heard the lock click.
"House! House, let me in! This isn't funny, House! House!" she hammered on the door.
"You owe me dinner!" he insisted.
"House, let me in! I'm not kidding!"
"I wonder where you keep your diary," he mused.
A neighbor walked by and gave Cameron a strange look.
"Hi, Mrs. Johnson," she smiled brightly. "House, I mean it!"
"Today Chase's hair was so shiny. I wonder how he does it. He's so dreamy. Too bad I'm in love with Doctor House. His piercing eyes just melt my soul," House said in a mocking falsetto.
"What do you want for dinner?" Cameron caved.
The door opened. "What do you have?"
"You don't even like gummy bears." Cameron whined, washing up in the kitchen.
"You don't know that," House sneered.
"Yes, I do." She said in a sing-song voice.
"I wouldn't be bragging, stalker." He narrowed his eyes. He was sitting on her counter watching her wash dishes.
"You're the one who forced his way into my house and wouldn't leave!"
"All right, I'll go." He shrugged, slid down, and limped toward the door. "I'm going."
"Okay," she called back.
"Here I go," he slowed down.
"Drive safe,"
"Here I go, leaving your apartment. Opening up the door. Walking out. Don't watch me leave."
She didn't answer. He opened the door back up. "Are you really not going to stop me? You've been waiting years to get me here, naked, and here you've got me halfway there and you're just letting me walk away?"
"House, I just got dumped. I don't want you here, let alone naked."
"That's a huge lie."
"No, it's not."
"You can't fool me. I've been watching Lie to Me."
Cameron was silent a moment. "It starts in ten minutes."
"I set my Tivo." He shrugged, thinking she was trying to convince him to leave.
"You'll really watch? You won't talk through it all?" she asked.
"You better have chips." He limped toward the couch.
"He reminds you of me," House guessed.
"Shhh." Cameron handed him his chips and sat down next to him (but not too near him).
"It hasn't started yet. Ice cream!" He saw it in her hands and got excited. "Gimme!"
"No." She scooted to the end of the couch. "And his abrasive personality and outrageous antics are much more amusing when you don't have to actually deal with the fallout."
"I'm the guest, you should be polite and give me the ice cream."
"You're an uninvited guest and I gave you the chips and now you're just being childish. Plus, I'm a girl who just got dumped. My ice cream needs are more important than yours."
"I know how we can satisfy all our needs," he leered.
"Shhh. It's on." She tried to hide her amusement and focus on the show.