The God of Time With No Name ~ Light's Real Name REVEALED!

(AN: For the back story see my storys Light And Dark ~ The Adventures of Dark Yagami and Pain Note ~ The Ressurekshun of Ray Pember! They are good and also have sexings and stuff which are awesome please read them¬!)

This story is pretty long and scary in bits and sexy in some bits too so you should read it with a hot glass of coffee or tee or coke or something and enjoy its like novel eksept not dull! ;)

CHApter 1 ~ Advnetures in Time with Lind L Tayler!

WHALES, ENGLAND

The sun was happy and flying in the sky when the moon came up and it was night. Underneat a fire hydrant a dog was having a whiz. Roger came on the dog and kicked it.

"F-ing dogs f-ck me off almost much as kids" he shouted to himself as the dog tailed off with its ran between legs.

2000 MILES AWAY IN THE PAST!

It was a happy day for L he had just been promoted from K and to celebrate he was going to have a party with lots of drugs and proztichutes and balloons and invite all his friends. There he would propose marrage to his wif, wedy, who was pregnant with twins and loved him and did lots of sex and he had bought her a ring with a diamond the size of a soccer ball because he was rich. Also he was going to retire and live a happy life free from crime.

"Just one more thing before you retire " said Quilts Whammy playing with his gun and combing his mustache all fancy. "You have to go on the television and say kira is evil and arrest him live on television"

"No problem" he grinned fingering his wife's ring. "I will arrest him and the world will be free from kira and I can live happy with my wife and my three children and my dog Freckles who is an alsashun/dalmayshun mongol with some Labrador in him and I love so much.

"Hello I am Lind L Tayler" he said live on television "I have discovered kira is in japan and I know his real name is not light yagami but…"

"Oh no he will reveal my secret to the world said" Light who deathnoted him harder than he'd ever deathnoted before.

"argh! Tell my wif I love her and my dog. Now I wil never retire except for to the internal bowls of hellllllll…"

Watari who was watching this on tv started crying and said "with L dead who can save the day from the scandaverous dastard kira?"

"NOT SO FAST OLD MAN!" shouted a small tiny man dancing into the room with a bowl full of candy in his guts and another in his hands. "I AM THE NEW L!"

AT THE FUNERAL!

Wedy was crying real bad and she was going through Kleenex like a tank goes through Kleenex. Her belly was all fat and her belly button was pokey out because she was already pregnant with twins and another was on the way

"He was always so mellow so my first child I will call MELLO. Also he was always near me so the next one I will call NEAR. And he was always my mate so the other will be called MATT"

eveyrone was sad even the dog freckles who was crying more than any dog had cryed before and it was so sad that it made people cry even more and soon everyonew as crying and they ran out of klenex and had to use each other which was sad but also sot of eratic and soon everyone was turned on and sexing while crying.

TWELVE YEARS LATER BACK IN WHALES!

Freckles (did you guess that dog taking a whiz was freckles?) looked sad and roger and melted his heart but not literally but since freckles had psikick powers he could have but more about that later.

"I know it is sad that l died and I kicked you out into the stree tand had to survive eating garbage and dead pigeons and big macs but the new l is allerjic to dogs and also you have psikick powers and I cant trust you with them till you prove yourself by finding the winchester bomber from that beyond birthday book and maybe also kill him"

So freckles ran to winchest to find the winchester bomber because his psikick powers said he would be there and there was only twelfth hours until the bomb went!

BACK ON MARS!

(AN pain note ~ the ressurekshun of ray pember explains all this but basically it s the future and l is on mars and he has a time note that travels through time and there is a naked shini時間 called Secks (get it? ;-)) this seen is quite graffik in places but not like m rated or something im not a perv!)

"hey Secks" said L "do you want sex?"

"No shinigami cannot have sex even with humans even if they are like relay horny or something"

"but you are a shini時間 not a shinigami

Secks looked shocked and fought for a minute which is like 2 minutes on earth because mars goes round the sun faster. L looked at the moon which was high so he knew it was night and shini時間 were sexiest at night though they were quiet sexy at all times even like the middle of the day when it was all sunny and not night so noone was in bed sexing

"ok I have checked therules and I can sex so I will sex like iv never sexed before which I havnt."

"nor have I said L except for all those proztichutes"

So L took of his space suit revelling a pair of boxers that were covered in sugar and chocolate from when he was eating food in them. Secks used her magic shini時間 powers to make herself even nakeder even though she was already naked because she was magic then L took off his magic boxers show what was under them and even Secks was shocked by how large it was

"wow L your so big I fought you wood be small but your big"

"its because I eat lots of sugar and work out three tiems a day at the jim"

Then they sexed on the surface of mars which was dangerous but they were safe because the nearest city was miles away and the farmer was on holiday in the sun (thats the mars sun not the earth one. A mars sheep came over and chewed Secks green hair because it looked like grass even though it was hair

L did it like seven times in five minutes because he was so good

IN WINCHEST!

Freckles the dog looked around the empty streets. There was nothing except a governer eating some fish and chips in a red phone booth because it was eggland. Big ben chimed midnight and a bomb went off except it didn't because freckles disarmed it.

"CURSES FOILED AGAIN" yelled the Wincester bommer jumping out of a pub holding a wench in one hand and a wrench in the other shouting mean words like "buggerashun!" and "craptabulence!".

It was… MATSUDA!

: 0

SEE THIS SOTRY AGAIN FOR THE NEXT cHAPTER SOON!

I WILL POST WHEN IT IS WRITTEN SOON!