Alright! First FanFiction. Holla bitches.

I guess I'm posting this more as a test to see if things will work out? I've got a pretty solid idea of what to do with this story... so review?

I hate having to ask that, but I guess I now understand where everyone else comes from!

Disclaimer: I wish I owned/could take credit for anything... Stephenie Meyer can, though.

CHAPTER 1: Beautiful and Dirty Rich

BPOV:

Jasper. He's one fierce bitch, I've gotta say. He's been my best friend since it was socially acceptable for a human to shit their pants and get away with it. Sure, that may sound gross – but it's really the best way of wording it. That's how Jasper and I roll – rude, crude and out of control.

We're the kids who, if there isn't a party and we're out of booze, will sit on the computer and lurk Wikipedia for facts about our favourite liquors and drugs. Live fast, die old. Fuck that Marilyn Monroe shit. Ferris Bueller had it right and I've got no idea why anyone doubts that sexy piece.

However, a few months ago, Jasper's mother – Phoenix's resident junkie – disappeared from their house and is currently M.I.A. So, Charlie took him under our collective wing. He never bothered to adopt Jasper since we'll both be 18 in a matter of months. But Charlie is a smart man and realized that we would need larger accommodations – so he decided to move into our cottage in Forks, Washington.

Normally, I would scream and protest about moving away from Phoenix, Arizona – where the drugs are cheap and the liquor comes free – but I've always had a thing for Forks.

The rain is probably what does it for me. I'm a sucker for the rain. Well, that's one reason… but if I'm being honest, it's probably just because the "cottage" is more like a mansion. It's one of those million dollar cottages you see on the lakes with their big jet boats and… basically, it's fierce. Charlie had it built on his old property that he grew up on.

In Phoenix, Charlie worked as a criminal investigator and had a hefty income. He decided it was better to settle down in Forks and took on the job as local police chief. He claimed that it would help keep Jasper and I entertained. Which is true – Charlie knew better than to bust up a good party.

So here we are. Jasper and I. Pulling up into the prestigious Forks Academy parking lot.

"Swan, you realize this weed tastes like dirt, right?" Jasper coughed as he handed me the joint.

I had to respect him, he always let us hot box his car – a '73 Dodge Charger SE – even though he treats it with more care than his dick.

"Whitlock, you realize that this was my parting gift from Jacob, right?" I inhaled, feeling the burn, "it's not my fault he's not talented with the reefer."

I could feel the tunnel vision kick in and tossed the remainder of the dirt joint out the window. This was going to be a long day and if I had to make connections for drugs and booze, I was going to need some artificial confidence.

Jasper, being the gentleman that he is, opened my door for me and I climbed out – managing to keep my balance while chuckling slightly. I looked around at all the dropped jaws as we walked through the parking lot.

"All the pretty ladies are mind-fucking you, Whitlock," I fake-whispered so everyone could hear.

"All the shitty guys are pitching tents for you, Swan."

"Story of my life, Jasper, story of my life."

He tossed his tanned, toned arm over my shoulder and guided me to the office to grab our schedules. Luckily, we had almost every class together. Jasper and I were smart enough to know that we were better than half of these stuck-up snobs who think they know how to have a good time, but we knew were going to have to face the fact that we were the newer, richer Forks novelties that people wished they could party with.

Our English class was filled with idiots, to say the least. I was surprised these bitches knew how to put on a shoe, let alone tie it. They were all gushing about some big party that was to be happening on the weekend – I guess I would have to find out more on that tidbit of information.

"So Bella, seen any sugar daddies you like at this school, yet?" When Jasper was high, he tended to become a little more sexual. I knew where this was headed.

"Nah, Jasp. I swear, we're supposed to be seniors and these guys look practically pre-pubescent. Not getting into any of the pants at this school, I guess."

"Except for mine, of course."

"Oh please, don't tempt me." I rolled my eyes dramatically.

The thing about my relationship with Jasper is that it has always been filled with sexual innuendos. We're just two sexual beings who get sexually frustrated every once in a while. Yeah, we've hooked up a few times. If anything, it made our friendship stronger – at least were honest about our attraction, right?

A high-pitched squeal blasted through the classroom. Of course, it took Jasper and I a moment to actually process what was happening. I vaguely noticed a bleached blonde head bobbing towards our desks at lightning speed. It was only then that I realized the whole class had not only been staring at me and Jasper the whole time, but listening to our conversation, too.

"Oh, my god. Hello, I'm Lauren; it's nice to meet you both!" Her voice was nasally and annoying.

I looked over her outfit. It was the standard uniform – plaid skirt, white blouse, and tie – but she managed to make it look hooker-esque. Not even a fierce hooker, just one that's addicted to heroin.

"Wow, Isabella, I totally love your outfit. For real. It's totally hot," she continued, "We should give each other tips!"

Tips on how to be a hooker? No thanks.

"Um, Laurel, was it? Yeah, Bella's outfit looks sexy as fuck. You look kind of like a prostitute," Jasper smiled smugly, "no offence."

Lauren was taken aback by his comment for a second before flashing her bleached white teeth, "It's Lauren, actually. Of course, there's no offence taken, babe." She winked.

She winked? Who the hell winks these days? Well, except for Jasper – but I have to admit he looks hot when he does.

Lauren turned to a girl who was also sporting the hooker uniform with brown, frizzy hair. "Watch out, Forks Academy, I think we've got another Edward Cullen on our hands! Right, Jessica?"

She walked to her desk with a little too much sway in her step to look natural and I turned to Jasper with my jaw dropped. He was glaring at my outfit.

"Swan, seriously, are you trying to get fucked?"

"If it gets us booze, drugs and parties… then I'll take one for the team."

I glanced down at my uniform. Naturally, I had to alter it to look less virginal. I shortened the blue and black plaid skirt, wore a black lace bra and tucked the royal blue tie into my cleavage, all while leaving as many buttons on the white blouse open as I needed to flaunt the girls. Heels aren't really my thing, either, so I skipped the skanky thigh-highs and went for a simple, but fabulous pair of black flats.

Yeah. I was hard-on certified.

"Who do you think that Edward Cullen guy is?" Jasper asked with a hint of a sneer.

"My, my. Is the Jasper Whitlock sensing some competition?"

"Fuck off, Bella. I'm thinking this guy might be of use to us."

I nodded at that. The hookers had basically been begging Jasper to motorboat them, judging by how close their tits were to his face, so I'm assuming they must think he's fuck-worthy.

Who wouldn't, though? I don't fuck my friends, but I made an exception for Jasper, didn't I?

Now, the thought of someone as hot, if not hotter than Jasper nearly blew my mind. It was basically unfathomable. Jasper is almost 6'3", muscular but lean with shaggy blonde hair that guys would kill for. Not to mention his eyes. Royal blue with flecks of emerald green around the pupil.

I've never been so proud to call someone my best friend. He's, yes, fierce.

But this other guy… he must stand out from the crowd, right?

Edward Cullen. The hottest, richest, most untouchable bitch, I'm betting.

Yay! So, what do you guys think? Yay, nay, okay?

Should I bother keeping it, or just stick to reading the stories?