Disclaimer: I do not own G.. I'm borrowing the characters for a little bit, but I promise to give them back.

The Vipers

Gung-Ho looked, blinked, shook his head then looked again before drawling in a low voice to his dumbstruck companions, "I don't know if I don't wanna know or not." Marching boldly through the barracks hallway were four Cobra soldiers. Four Cobra soldiers who looked like they'd gotten caught in a paint factory explosion. Purple was the color of the day, a bright revolting shade with neon green paint splatters and a neon green Cobra symbol. The normally mirror-like face plates of the helmets sported psychotically grinning smiley faces with lots of fangs. The weapons of choice of these four soldiers were...squeegees...which would be good, if they were going to war against dust and dirt and general uncleanliness. Shoot, the Joes would be all for that one. The smallest soldier carried a bucket of pink paint.

They halted for a moment, feeling the incredulous stares of the small gathering of Joes in the lounge. They swung around, came to attention and snapped off picture perfect salutes before continuing on their merry way. The Joes lost sight of them after they rounded a corner. Gung-Ho turned back to his fellow Joes and promptly declared that he was not explaining this to Duke.

*****

BBQ was sleeping peacefully, snoring quite loudly when he felt it, the malevolent presence of something up to no good. His nose twitched as he felt something cold touch his face. He came awake rather swiftly as he heard the psychotic giggles issuing from said malevolent presence. He opened his eyes only to squeeze them shut in the hope that upon opening again the images above him would be mere dellusions of a sleep deprived mind. Opening them again, his eyes widened in horror as he stared at the glow in the dark, pink smiley face over his bed and the four Cobra soldiers surrounding him, weapons at the ready. All four stared at him before monotonously intoning, simultaneously, "We are the vipers, we have come to vipe your vindows."

*****

Scarlet had just about convinced a small cadre of the Joes to go investigate the fashion blind Cobras when a piercing scream broke the relative peace of the barracks. Rushing footsteps were heard not long after and the four Cobras came barreling around the corner, knocking Duke, who was emerging from his room, over. The Joes stared in shock as the purple Cobras escaped through the side door of the building. Duke stared before turning to the other Joes, "Who screamed?"

"Follow the pink!" cried Wild Bill, running off to do just that. The trail of pink led to a door that was slightly ajar. Rushing in they saw BBQ curled up in a corner, painted pink, with pink glasses, mustache, and beard painted on his face. He was rocking himself and muttering, "The Vipers, the Vipers, the Vipers are coming to Vipe me out."

Lifeline whimpered, "I am not a psychologist, I don't have the first clue how to fix this one."

*****

The base wide memo read:

Cobra Command has employed clowns as their operatives. Should any Joe catch site of a Cobra soldier wearing purple and green attire they are to approach with extreme caution and apprehend these infiltration operatives through whatever mean necessary.

Four Joes read this memo. One turned to the others, "We have been challenged."