Words: 399
Warnings: None

1. Jail bait

Roy Mustang waved his hand languidly in the air after the retreating back of a rather pretty, petite, young, brunette woman, who was surreptitiously slipping a good number of cenz into her handbag as she went. There went yet another informant with yet more information for him. He smiled that easy smile of his before giving a pleased little hum, and turning to go.

Roy was brought up short, however, by a drawling voice, "Geeze talk about jail bait.. How old was she? Fifteen?"

Casting an askance glance he found the now eighteen year old Fullmetal Alchemist to be lounging at a small outdoor table nearby. Edward was industriously slurping at a soda through a straw while watching him with lidded gold eyes. "Then again everything is jail bait for you, right? At least I don't even look eighteen."

Roy wondered if Ed realized that could be something a joke at himself, but chose not to point it out. Instead he smirked and watched from the corner of his eyes as Edward got that look on his face. That pinched look that meant he was expecting a crack at his height. Roy simply spoke blandly, "Yeah, you can pull it off better..."

Edward took a deep breath to retaliate with one of his customary rants, only to get a slightly confused look on his face. That... hadn't really been what he was expecting.

Mustang carried on as if he hadn't noticed a thing, "Me, though? I'm much more mature--"

"What? No short joke?" Ed broke in as he stomped over toward his commanding officer looking peeved at the apparent break in the routine.

Roy managed to look suitably surprised, "Yes it was."

Edward shook his head in a negative, "Well it wasn't like..a.."

Amused, Roy watched the younger man flounder for the right words and cheerfully pointed out, "Fullmetal, I just said you're small enough to pass for a child. Even if it sounded like a roundabout compliment."

"Exactly!" Ed screeched. "Most of your jokes are all... ugh... NOT COMPLIMENTS."

Smirking smugly Mustang favored the fuming alchemist with an amused look, "Got to mix it up sometimes, Fullmetal. But... if you prefer... 'Yes, I know you can pass for jail bait. You're as short as a 13 year old.'"

"Thank you." Ed snarled, and then he was off in one of his usual tangents, much to Roy's amusement.

A/N: So, I'm not really aiming for proper characterization or anything here... These are meant to be funny, and probably kind of cracky. You've been warned. I have seen at least 30 episodes of the anime, and read around 60 chapters of the manga, though.

Anyway, a side note about these oneshots/drabbles.... Most of them are based on conversations between myself and a friend. Most of Mustang's lines are mine, and Edward's are hers. Yes, I do spew shortjokes as bad as Mustang, ask her. -laugh.- We just thought it'd be amusing to turn some of them into fics featuring Mustang and Ed since we could see it happening.

Enjoy!