-t-...T-....Gold Glitter and Purple Rimmel....-T...-t-

for my Ian, because I luvs you!

金

金

November 17, 2008

My life is over.

My life is over.

I know Ino (bless her soul) told me a million times that I was being overly dramatic, and I should get over it, but I just can't.

Why?

Why?

Because Sasuke has a girlfriend. And she's not me.

Why does life suck so bad?

All I know is Ino doesn't know what she's talking about, heck, she's got freaking Sai to make out with behind the AP Biology lockers. Che.

I need to go die.

Painfully.

Now.

Ugh, I'm going to be the world's first pink haired emo.

But I won't die, or be emo, because I still have to graduate and pwn med school and like, cure cancer.

Fo sho.

All with a broken heart.

Then I'll find a cure for that too.

Pft, forget cancer, broken hearts hurt more; I'll start with those instead.

Then I'll be happy while I zap radiation through people's bodies and eat their tumours (and their hair.)

See? I've got this all thought out.

Except for the part where I don't become Sasuke's girlfriend.

Grrr.

I'm upset.

Maybe I'll become an emo after all, only instead of cutting myself I'll radiation poison myself because I'll be an oncologist.

Yup, definitely more painful. And emo-poetic-y.

Gah, now I'm just plain mad! Just go die, Sasuke, you bastard! GAH!!!!

金

November 18, 2008

Okay, I'm more calm now. Actually, Ino had to slap me.

Let me be the first to tell you: flute players slap really hard. Don't let the girlie personality and skinny arms fool you.

Clarinet players pwn though.

Except Tenten.

Grrr.

Fudge nuts, I swore I wouldn't be mad at her.

Grrrrrrrrr.

Anyway, clarinets pwn, especially over (still sexy) bastard man-whore saxophone players.

I hate you, Sasuke!

GAHHH!!!! GO EAT BALLS, YOU SAXOPHONE JERK!!!!!!!

Wait... No! No! Ino, please don't slap me again! I swear, I'm over it now! I'm calm! Calm!

金

December 3, 2008

Sigh, it's been a month now since that little thing inside my stomach died.

And no I am not talking about fibroids, Mom. Jeez, get over yours.

Oh, wow... teeheehee I should really talk.

But no, I should get over it, I mean, it's been a month since Sasuke and Tenten -flinch- got together, and Ino and Hinata and Temari and all the clarinets but Tenten have been putting me through effing counseling. For serious.

Aw, jeez, now I feel like talking about my feelings. Good thing since the whole sick, awful, SasuTen gettogether my Clari buddies made me keep a journal (with a pretty clarinet and gold glitter on the cover!) to write my crap in.

I should get some emo poetry in here.

Just to try it.

I do look sultry in black eyeliner after all.

Sigh, back to Sakura's sad insides.

Jeez I got to get over this.

I guess you could say it's my fault.

I would probably say it's my fault, but then again I have cripplingly low self-esteem.

But come on, just because I never came out and told the boy I was in love with him doesn't mean as soon as we graduate he's allowed to go off and be the man-whore of some other girl. I mean, I've known him for like ever, then bam! he picks a girl who's a total stranger as his girlfriend. And she's a sophomore. He should be dating other freshmen, dammit! Like me!

And worse yet, I was starting to make good friends with Tenten.

Che, not no more.

She's a sweet girl and I tryto like her, I swear, and I'm like seriously nice to her face, but inside, fo sho, there's no denying I'm jealous.

Jeez, why do I suck so bad?

Not everyone could possibly be as selfish as I am.

Maybe I'll get a conscience for Christmas.

A laptop would be nice too, but then my gorgeous gold glitter notebook would be obsolete!

金

December 4, 2008

Ugh, I almost lost it today.

Coincidentally (more like because the universe hates me) me and Tenten have our private lessons on the same day, at the same time.

So I was stuck in the band hall doing my stupid world geography homework, when who comes up all smiling and pretty and pulls up a chair next to me, but Tenten. So I have to be nice, I mean, I seriously want to honestly like the girl like I do the rest of my section,

but I just can't

Cuz she stole my man...

...who technically was never 'my man'...

... but I still loved him first, and I know he felt something too!

Well, anyway, as if it isn't enough that the beyotch herself is sitting next to me talking and being all smiley and totally showing off how she knows her Etude 26 faster than me, she has the nerve and beyotch-ness to start gushing about Sasuke.

For serious.

Okay. In all fairness, she has no I idea that I've been in love with her boyfriend for several years.

And I'm not about to tell her.

Seriously, and then she asked me if I could give her an idea of what she could get him for Christmas, because "you're like, his friend, Sakura, so you would really know him like that".

I could strangle her.

Or beat her with my clarinet.

Or Force Choke her like freaking Darth Vader.

Seriously, he was s-e-x-y before he got burnt up in that fight with Obi Wan. I totally cried.

As Anikin he's still not as hot as Sasuke, though.

... It's decided; I'll beat her with my clarinet for sure. The keys will totally rip her flesh to shreds.

Wow, I think I need to start some anger-management counseling now. And I can get another cool glitter notebook!

金

December 17, 2008

Ino and the rest of the Clari-s took me to the mall.

There was almost a cat-fight in protest because Ino's a flute and clarinets have traditionally loathed flutes for decades.

Anyway...

I got this kick-ass purple eyeshadow.

I love Rimmel; the British make the best beauty products.

The girls say it's a reward for lasting one whole month without snapping and doing something crazy to Sasuke or Tenten.

Guess they saw that whole I-wanna-beat-her-head-in-with-my-horn look in my eyes.

Not like I seriously would; that would get blood on my precious clarinet!

Eh heh heh...

Anyway well, the point is I am slowly healing, am the proud mama of purple eyeshadow (believe it!), and two whole weeks closer to graduating and becoming an oncologist.

That and I haven't initiated a hostage situation involving a shotgun (or my clarinet/Darth Vader force choke gloves) and Tenten.

Not that I haven't thought about it...

金

December 20, 2008

Sigh, today's the last day of the semester and the last day before Christmas break.

I know I pwned my anatomy/physiology midterm.

And almost as impressively, I think I'm finally over the whole Sasuke-Tenten thing. I mean, I seriously still care for Sasuke (even if he is a man-whore) and he and Tenten look really happy together. If I'm going to be a doctor then I really have to get over the personal feelings and do what's best for the people in my charge, even if it hurts to watch.

Okay, I got like half of that out of a medical ethics textbook...

But it makes sense! and I totally should just listen to other people for once and stop being the crazy beyotch who's always got glitter stuck to her clarinet case.

Well, I'm so talented I can fit the big ol' case in my bookbag and it presses against my counseling journal (aka this!)

No seriously, I am crazy; I haven't even worn the purple eyeshadow yet.

I'm still wearing those old intern t-shirts the hospital gives me, and honestly, they're not very sexy.

Ino's so pissed she's started stealing them and 'accidentally' dropping low-cut shirts in my dorm room.

Huh, maybe that's why Sasuke prefers Tenten to me.

DAMMIT!!! I THOUGHT ABOUT IT!! CRAP!!

金

December 26, 2008

I got what I wanted for Christmas!

The laptop, not the conscience.

I'm keeping my precious glitter book though. We've just been through too damn much.

I also got more purple Rimmel (which I've drawn a smear of on the page right here so I can remember the purple-ness, or if I get Alzheimer's and I need a notebook to remind me of everything, like The Notebook. Oh my sweet crackers I love that movie!!)

I also got three tank tops from Ino.

Gee, think she's trying to tell me something?

I got her an encyclopedia.

Oh yeah. -insert evil laugh here-

Whatever, it's late. 'M going to bed now. Nighty night, glitter book of awesome-ness.

(wow, that's the first time I've written a closing in here, huh?)

金

December 31, 2008

Happy almost-New Year, my precious!

It was so beast, Neji had this party in his dorm room with all the other clarinets. There were Jello vodka shots!!

Only I didn't know there was vodka in them, because I swore to myself I wouldn't get drunk (although I am feeling kind of dizzy right now... and my handwriting is off...)

But yeah, I just saw the Jello sitting there all innocent on Neji's desk, and like, everyone knows I love the strawberry ones, but they tasted funny, so I only had like three. Then Temari comes up behind me all tipsy and was telling me how she made them, and like used 2 cups water and 2 cups vodka and I was like "OH MY GOD, THOSE WERE VODKA?!"

recipe for vodka Jello shots:

(not that I'll ever use it. of course)

- 2 cups water

-2 cups vodka

-some cups Jello

-all cups fun!!! ha ha! okay, I know that wasn't funny...

Anyway, I finally wore the purple Rimmel to the party! It was so beast. S-e-x-y.

Oh, one other thing, and it's probably because I was kind of drunk, but me and Tenten bonded. Like for serious.

See, it was a clarinet-only party, so Neji didn't let Sasuke the man-whore saxophone player in, so Tenten wasn't like hanging off his arm or making out with him behind a vending machine like I usually see her.

And it was really nice.

See, Sasuke?

You totally ruin everything in my life!

Well, Tenten is just this really sweet person, and she actually considers me like a good friend of hers. Yeah, I really felt bad, and it wasn't just the Jello talking. So I've decided, screw Sasuke, I'm going to make really good friends with her for real.

Haha, turning point of the war.

Well, as I was writing this, midnight already came, so I'll tell you my New Years resolutions tomorrow when I'm not so damn tired.

Loves you! And ha ha! 2009!!

金

January 1, 2009

Hola, my glitter-book!

Slight hangover...

But I'm ready to tell you my resolutions!

-go on that Special K diet and lose like 6 pounds in three weeks or whatever

-FORGET ABOUT SASUKE

-make nice with Tenten

-all As next semester

-remember to renew the internship at the hospital this summer instead of drowning poor Dr. Tsunade in paperwork because of my procrastination

-go the whole year without killing a pet fish

and a big one that Ino will love...

-finally ditch the hospital tees, wear pretty clothes and make-up, and try to ask that cute, blond guy in world geography out

I am ready for 2009!

Deleted that Sasuke picture that was floating around on my iPod...

Actually organised my biology notebook...

Drove to the store and bought 2 boxes of 'chocolaty delight' flavoured Special K, Special K protein bars, skim milk, and those berry flavoured Special K waffles.

Now I'm off to play with that make-up bag Ino left for me.

Or go back to sleep.

-Z-Z-Z-

金

January 6, 2009

Sigh, yesterday was the first day back of term.

So far I feel pretty successful.

My new fish, Mozart, is still alive and breathing or gilling, or whatever the heck you would call it for fish...

I actually dressed in something that wasn't sweats, and it felt kinda good.

And I've got me a new man.

He's very cute, really tall with short, blond hair and the most beautiful, blue eyes. You know, the guy in my world geography class? His name's Naruto. And I actually talked to him in class without sounding like an idiot. He's such a nice guy.

And me and Tenten hung out before our private lessons today.

I think my life has finally been put back together.

I love this feeling, like I've done something right for once.

Well, I guess that's it. I'm doing biology homework in my sweats now, because they're just too comfy to NOT wear. Don't tell Ino. Farewell, gold notebook.

金

January 13, 2009

Sasuke talked to me for the first time this year.

Just thought you should know.

Not like I felt anything.

Not like my stomach felt like all the butterflies in South America suddenly spontaneously generated inside of it.

Because that would be just plain stupid.

Because I like Naruto now.

Because if not my life would be screwed up all over again.

金

January 25, 2009

It's terrible. Terrible terrible terrible!!

I left an algebra notebook in my band locker, and it was really early this morning, so I just put on my slippers and ran across campus to the band hall. So I had my notebook and was running back out, when I smacked right into Sasuke. Like seriously. Smacked. His chest is harder than the door. And I was just mumbling an apology when he, he... h-h-he

he kissed me!

And the worst part is, I kissed him back.

金

January 27, 2009

I'm falling apart.

I feel terrible for lying to Tenten.

I have to avoid Sasuke.

My hair is falling out and I'm back to my sweats. I broke my Special K diet and have gained three pounds in pure chocolate ice cream. I can just kiss poor Naruto good bye.

The only one helping me right now is Ino; I can't bring myself to tell the other clarinets.

She told me Sasuke's been asking where I am in band class.

I miss band, but I can't go back right now.

Clarinet notebook, life sucks.

金

January 30, 2009

If possible, life can get worse.

I've been taking sick days with Ino and having my breakdown in the student lounge.

After classes were over most of the clarinets came over to give me some make-up work. We've told them I'm really sick.

They stayed most of the afternoon making stuff in the student kitchen right next to the lounge.

It was going fine, until Sasuke came in.

And told me he was sorry he freaked me out.

But he wasn't sorry that he loved me.

And he kissed me again.

And now the student lounge is short a coffee pot.

Because Tenten walked in and saw.

Hm, I'm going to cut this off now, but I'm making a sequel. One of those short chapter ones, so hopefully I'll be able to update sooner, because wow am I busy with classes right now. Well, hope you enjoyed.

The style wasn't too weird, was it? Because like I said, limited time, but I wanted to give you guys something.

Some feedback on this would be nice, so I know about a sequel. Much love, guys.