Title: Calamity
Author: Kitana
Warnings: PG; extremely slight Meryl x Vash and Milly x Wolfwood implied. So slight you probably can't see it. Vash dreams, Meryl watches.

***

It's hard to see him this way, Meryl thinks as she replaces another bowl of soup gone cold. He doesn't understand that sometimes, just sometimes, there is no other way. Meryl hurts for Vash, knowing that he believes in the fact that there's always another solution. Milly understands in her simple way, too, but she's grieving for more than just Vash. Meryl sometimes wonders if Milly blames Vash for his death. Yet, she's never really asked either. She doesn't think she wants to know.

She sits by Vash's side, stroking sweat-dampened hair and changing hour-old bandages, while he tosses and turns. While he dreams — or nightmares, perhaps that would be a better term — of what must be that same scene over and over. Meryl can't begin to imagine what it's like to have to choose between someone's lives. She's never had to kill, only restrain, and her choices were always clear cut, black and white.

Vash makes a noise, somewhere between a whine and a sob, and Meryl sits him up when his eyes snap open, blind and unaware. He only thrashes for a moment, and then he falls still in Meryl's arms. He finally knows where he is. Though Vash looks to Meryl's worried face and is glad she's okay, he still can't find it deep in himself to be glad she's alive. Not when it took someone else's death to make sure of that.

Meryl offers Vash the soup bowl, cooled enough to be eaten comfortably, but he shakes his head. Vash hasn't ever been able to eat upon waking, and he especially can't now, with the vision of a bloodied corpse hiding behind his eyelids every time he blinks. Not with the sharp stench of blood filling his nose whenever he breathes too deeply.

Meryl isn't satisfied until he eats something, and so Vash has to push back the wave of nausea coming on and drink, even if the soup tastes thick and revolting going down. She's appeased by his efforts and finally she leaves with a warning that she'll be back. It pains him somewhat, but he smiles despite himself. It seems to cheer Meryl, and the worry in her face softens — just a little.

The door shuts with a click.

Vash is left alone with his thoughts.

He's not even sure he wants to be.

~Owari~