Disclaimer: Stephenie owns it all, sometimes we just mess around. :D (this goes for the whole story, okay? Except for one or two charachters in the future, but that's a surprise!!!)

NOTICE: before you read this. stephanie and i are both madly in love with twilight. we love every charachter. i love jacob. stephanie, not so much :) other than that, though, we're pretty much in love with them all. everything that we say and write in this story is simply a joke, and if you don't like, don't understand, or don't care about jokes, just don't read it. it's random and crazy and sometimes its plot is pointless, but that's what makes it worth reading. if you're looking for a serious story, you need to stop reading this right now :D

*points forward like a soldier* NOW, on with the storyy!

I was sitting on the couch, sitting on Edward's lap. We were watching television and lounging, wasting another beautiful day. It was sunny, so we couldn't go to school, leaving us with 24 hours to do nothing. Renesmee was home, so that left certain options out of the question.

Jacob walked in, and I frowned as Renesmee flung herself into his arms like an obsessive puppy. Really, didn't Rosalie teach her anything about playing hard to get? She looked seventeen now, and they'd already become an 'item' by now. Jacob kissed her so passionately I fought myself not to kick him.

"Bella?" He looked at me, sighing.

"Yes, Jacob?" Edward was watching Jacob, a horrified yet amused expression on his face.

"Well, its about Seth…"

"Yes, and?" I prompted. Edward was trying hard to keep his laughter in, but he was failing.

"You see, Seth imprinted." I frowned, I didn't see what was so wrong with that. Renesmee was dangling off of him, and he had his hand around her waist. I seriously needed to teach my daughter to handle hormones. Maybe we could have a class…

"What's so wrong with that?" I asked. Jacob shifted uncomfortably, squeezing Renesmee closer for support. I rolled my eyes at them. Seriously, they were so immature; Edward and I were never that clingy. Sheesh.

"Well, let me explain and don't judge before I'm finished, okay?" I didn't get the big deal. I mean, Quil was waiting. Claire was six now, and I didn't see anything worse than that. I just nodded, ignoring Edward as he burst out laughing.

"Okay, well we were at Sam's house and Emily was in the kitchen cooking. Well we all ran into the kitchen because, well, Emily's an amazing cook. And Seth just sort of imprinted." I gasped, had he seriously imprinted on Emily?

"Well, he sort of imprinted on…raisin bread dough." I gasped, stifling laughter and astonishment. I looked at Edward, who nodded.

"This isn't funny you guys!" Jacob let out an exasperated sigh, heaving himself down on the couch. "You're reading it all wrong!"

"Tell me…how…I'm supposed…to read this!" I said between gasps for air. He growled menacingly at me, to which Edward barred his teeth.

"Well, Seth took the raisin bread dough home-"

"Isn't this a little early in the relationship for that kind of preposterous nonsense?" I cracked, bursting into fits of giggles.

"Shut up and let me tell you! He'll love that raisin bread dough more than anybody's ever loved anything. He'll put it in the oven at 350 and watch it grow. When its done, and its time comes for somebody to eat it, he'll follow soon after. It's very romantic, you guys."

He was lost on us, I was already cracking up, rolling around on the couch. Renesmee was gazing at him as though he was a god, with lots of happy information and positive attitude. Jacob wasn't as cool as Edward. That's why I picked Edward. He was really, really hot.

"I think Jacob's just using you and the 'imprinting' thing as an excuse to be around me even though I'm beautiful and happy and way too good for him," I informed Renesmee. She started crying and ran from the room. God, what a baby. Now I have them both to myself! Jacob glared at me, probably because I'd found him out. Then he ran from the room in what I assumed was embarrassment, calling for the monster that was my daughter.

"Good! Now we have all afternoon to ourselves!" I said gleefully to Edward, tackling him on the couch to kiss him lots. Like I said, we didn't flaunt our relationship.

A:N/ haha, dont worry. the chapters will be getting better! we did a test run of the first 3 in our class, and it went pretty well, if we do say so ourselves.

if you want a review by tomorrow, we're asking for 4 reviews! that's not that hard, is it? please review and let us know what you think! We'll give you a big frosted cookie if you review! :D

stay awesome!

S & M