with this solitude
(shane – mitchie)

by katie

writer's block sucks the big one.
:(

tried a new writing style.
tell me if you like.

similar to my story "let it rain".
but not a lot.

based on "esta soleded" by kany garcia.
lovelovelovelove.

–

summer

It was August, and she should've seen it coming.

He walked in looking guilty and ashamed, not at all happy. She shouldn't have told him. But she was so excited. So, so excited, the words just bubbled out of her throat and into the air.

"I'm having a baby!"

And he looked devastated.

So. Fucking. Devastated.

"Mitchie, I...I slept with someone else."

H E S L E P T W I T H S O M E O N E E L S E
ohmygodohmygodohmygod
don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry

"Y-you did?"

He nodded, and his hair fell into his face. She wanted to brush it away and see what his eyes were saying, but she didn't.

She couldn't.

She wouldn't.

"Shane, you...get out," she whispered brokenly, pointing to her door as her deep brown eyes clouded with tears.

He shook his head profusely, apologies falling from his lips. "No, baby, please, it didn't mean anything, we were drunk and I didn't know what I was doing, please, baby, please, don't make me leave, please."

LEAVE, SHANE

The words were harsh, and tasted bitter on her tongue. He promised to stay faithful. He promised to.

(It was in their God damn vows. The ones they said while they slipped rings of gold and diamond onto their left fingers.)

She watched him walk away, looking ashamed and frustrated, and her eyes flooded with tears as she ran to her/his/their bedroom, burying her head in a pillow.

"I'll be okay," Mitchie whispered to herself and pressed a hand to her abdomen, where her (Shane's) baby was growing, oblivious to the pain their mother was feeling.

Mitchie felt bad for herself. She felt bad that her husband was a cheating loser, and a phony, and had started to sell his soul to the record company again.

She felt worse for the poor little soul growing inside of her. The one whose father wouldn't be around. The one who might not know the love of two parents.

"I'm so sorry, baby."

–

fall

Is Shane Gray returning to his old ways?

The former bad boy just may be turning over a new leaf again – and not the one we want to see.

Gray, 23, was picked up just last week for speeding, and was fined 500 dollars early this morning for driving under the influence of alcohol.

On a related note? Gray's wife – Hollywood's sweetheart and pop/rock princess, Mitchie Torres-Gray, 21, – was spotted inside of a real estate agency, without her wedding band. Have Tinsel Town's favorite couple finally disconnected?

Fall.

September. October.

They were denial.

I can do this by myself. Don't panic, Mitchie. You'll be alright – you had a life before Shane, you'll have a life after Shane. Sure that girl keeps calling...but that's okay, she'll stop. Shane will make her. He will. She'll stop, Mitch, don't worry about it. Don't panic. For the baby. Don't panic. Do. Not. Panic.

November was when it all fell apart.

She woke up one morning, and looked in the mirror. She'd seen her stomach before, but it had never registered. It was just...there.

But one morning, she saw her reflection. The incredible protrusion of her abdomen made her heart break.

T H A T ' S S H A N E ' S B A B Y M I T C H I E
youmadethatyoumadethatyoumadethat.
ohgodgodohgod

Mitchie's lower lip trembled as she set a tentative hand on her stomach, the pad of her thumb running over the bare skin. She could almost see the baby in her peripheral vision. With soft skin and Shane's eyes and her smile.

And it hurt so bad. Sososososo bad.

Tears dripped down her cheeks, and she pressed her hands to her face, collapsing onto the floor. She wanted to scream at Shane. She wanted to smack him silly. She wanted to make him feel what it was like to be ~cheated on.

Most of all, she just wanted him there, holding her and kissing her and singing her pretty lullabies that helped her to sleep at night.

Mitchie pulled at her hair, and laid back on the bed, burying her head in a pillow (Shane'spillowtheonethatstillsmellslikehim).

OH SHANE

The words were strangled and hurt as she sobbed into the pillow, unable to control her emotions.

And it was the first time that she really thought - I can't do this alone.

–

winter

"NATE!"

Winter brought the advent of Shane's band mate. His brother. His best friend. His most trusted advisor.

Nathaniel (or rather, Nate) Gray's arrival was a complete surprise. Mitchie wasn't sure why he was with her, or if he'd been told to come stay, but it was the holiday season and she was just so damn lonely. If it couldn't be Shane's hands wiping away her tears, it might as well be Nate's.

"Mitchie, you gotta stop," Nate said as he held her on New Years' Eve. She wasn't ringing in the new year with smiles and kisses. She was spending it hiding in Nate's arms, wondering if she'd ever learn to be happy again.

"I can't Nate," she said softly, burying her face in his neck.

"Mitchie. You have a baby coming," he reminded her gently.

O F C O U R S E A B A B Y W I T H S H A N E
iwishhewashereiwishhewashereiwishhewashere
godilovehimgodilovehimgodilovehim

And maybe she felt a little bad that Nate was having to deal with her whining and crying all the time. But without Nate, she didn't know where she'd be. She couldn't remember to pay her bills or clean her apartment or ANYTHING.

You're really pathetic, Mitchie, you know that? You should be ashamed of yourself. How the hell are you going to take care of another life if you can hardly take care of yourself? Selfish, selfish, selfish, Mitchie.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I'll...I'll pull myself together. I promise, Nate, really!" Mitchie nodded, looking at him with determined brown eyes as her hand grazed her swollen abdomen.

Nate smiled, and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Okay, Michelle. If you say so. You know, there's so many good things in life, but you'll never find them if you sit in this apartment all day and mope. No offense or anything."

Mitchie smiled back, a little sheepishly, then looked down at his hands. "It's just hard. I mean...you remember when you and Caity broke up?"

Nate winced at the mention of his ex-girlfriend, and Mitchie patted his hand sympathetically.

(Caitlyn ended up with Jason. PoorNatewhatablow.)

IF SHANE ENDS UP WITH TESS OMIGOD

"New topic, Mitch."

"Sounds like a plan."

–

spring

Demetria Devonne Gray
April 3rd, 2015
5:01 PM
8 lb., 3 oz.

Her name is Demi, and she's absolutely gorgeous.

She has pretty, pretty brown eyes and pretty, pretty dark hair and a pretty, pretty smile. She's just so pretty, it almost hurts to look at her.

Mitchie's almost one hundred percent sure that she does NOT deserve her.

Demi's birth was a blur. All cameras flashing pictures as Nate brought her into the hospital, and blinding pain (so, so agonizing, she almost broke poor Nate's hand (and you know, it should have been Shane's hand she was breaking)).

"Make it stop!" she screamed, gripping the bedsheets as sweat beads dripped down her cheeks. "NATE!"

The hand she was gripping didn't feel much like Nate's. Nate's was warm and soft and felt good as it patted her back comfortingly on especially long, cold nights. No, the hand she was holding was cool, and felt good against her clammy, flushed skin. It was the kind of freeze that made her heart stop, and her head spin.

O H M Y G O D I T ' S S H A N E
he'sherehe'sherehe'shere
owowowowow

"I'm so sorry."

Three words. That's all it took for her to forgive him. And maybe she's fickle and stupid and this never happens to anyone in real life ever, but that's okay.

"I don't care!" she cried in return, gripping his fingers tightly as she heard the wail of a baby.

SHANE

His name escaped her lips in a sort of strangled sound, like poetry that wasn't pretty.

"It's a girl," the doctor smiled, and a sob escaped Mitchie's throat as she felt Shane press kisses to her face, whispering how sorry he was and how beautiful she was and how he'd never been so miserable in his entire life the months he was gone.

"Shane, I really...I don't want apologies," Mitchie said thickly, willing herself not to cry. "I don't want them. I just want you here with me. With our baby. I want my – no, OUR – life back."

Shane's response was to kiss her lips softly, and murmur, "I love you" against them.

And it was happily ever after.

Queen Mitchie went riding off into the sunset with King Shane, and all was well. All is still well. All will always be well.

the end.

–

HOLY HELL THAT SUCKED.
D:

god, try not to be too harsh.
i've pretty much ~lost my inspiration lately.
-sigh-

plz to be reviewing with more than "so cute/sad" or "i loved it," thanks.
:)