Book 1

Girl meets boy.

Boy turns out to be freaky sparkly sexmuffin 110 year old mind reading vampire who wants to drink her blood.

Girl turns out to be a necrophile.

Other vampires come and try to drink girl's blood.

Boy saves girl.

Everyone lives happily ever after.

Book 2

Boy throws girl birthday party.

Boy's brother (also vampire) tries to drink girl's blood.

Boy decides to bugger off 'for girl's own good' (read: because he's finally found someone with a personality).

Girl goes all emo.

Girl meets other boy, who turns out to be werewolf who likes girl.

Girl goes all angsty emo.

Girl jumps off cliff.

Boy thinks she is dead due to breakup of communication (hello Shakespeare anyone?) and decides to off himself. With help.

Boy goes to Volterra (which in real life is a maximum security prison), but gets all sidetracked by girl.

Everyone lives happily ever after.

Book 3

Mate of vampire who tried in book 1 to drink girl's blood shows up looking for revenge.

Said vampire builds vampire army.

Vampires and wolves join forces and lay waste to said army.

Everyone lives happily ever after.

Book 4

Boy marries girl.

Boy and girl procreate.

Boy impregnates girl with evil spawn stolen out of an Anne Rice novel (I take that back, this entire book could be a condensed version of an Anne Rice novel, just without the awesome).

Girl gives birth to evil spawn.

Girl becomes vampire.

Boy and girl procreate some more, but this time with no impregnation.

People who were meant to help boy off himself in book 2 turn up and try to lay waste to initial vampires, but fail with no fatalities on either side.

Wolf boy from book 2 who had thing for girl falls in love with evil spawn.

Everyone lives happily ever after.