IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE. PLEASE READ.

Alright, first things first.

If you were in FF around the years 2003-2005 you might remember a story called "The Art of the Silver Screen". Others might not. Anywho… the story was abandoned years ago, but I managed to save the first chapters (yes, I liked it so much I actually began saving it so I could read it over and over). However, the story disappeared from the site before I could save all of the author's progress.

Those chapters have been sitting for ages in my hard disk. I looked and looked through the Internet for a couple of years and I could never find the story again to see if it had ever been completed, never mind the author. And then I had an idea… why not adopt the story? And so around 2006 I renamed the story "The Marauders vs. Hollywood", revised what was written, and began writing after the bits and pieces I had saved until what I wrote exceeded the amount of text I had saved. Eventually, I began posting my version in some HP forums. The story was a success in all of them, but I could never bring myself to post it in FF, until one of my readers brought to my attention that they'd found my version of the story posted here by someone else. I cannot explain what I felt… I was annoyed and angry, but I was also very impressed that apparently I'd matched the original author's style and that my version of the story was worth copying as well. It was a bittersweet experience.

I'm telling you this in honour of the original author, of course. Most of the credit should go to him/her since it was their idea in the first place. I am but a fellow author who couldn't see such a good story go. I also hope the readers who were following my version of the story in FF can find their way back and continue to enjoy my rendition.

And so, without further ado, I bring it back to you.

Disclaimer: The situations and characters in the HP series belong to me as much as Microsoft belongs to Napoleon Bonaparte. The very first chapters of "The Marauders vs. Hollywood" belong to the author of "The Art of the Silver Screen".

Bold and Italics: quotes from the actual film.

Chapter 1 – Getting in is the Hard Part

"Four tickets for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban please," fifteen year-old Peter Petigrew squeaked through the glass.

"I'm sorry sir, that film is only open to over 12's," the young female cinema attendant replied. Peter was about to squeak a reply when Sirius Black sauntered over.

"It's okay," he replied flashing a smile to the attendant who came over in a sudden fit of giggles. "He's with me."

"Of Course, sir," she smiled, flicking her hair and handing him the tickets. "Sorry about that, that'll be £15.60."

Being the only one of the group who could count in muggle money, James Potter slipped Sirius a few notes and coins from behind. Sirius handed the money over with a wink.

"So, do you come here often?" Sirius asked exchanging the money for the tickets.

Remus Lupin elbowed him. "Stop flirting with the muggles!" he hissed, so that no one else could hear.

"Sorry," Sirius hissed back. "Couldn't help myself," he grinned sheepishly flashing a parting wink to the female attendant and moving into the cinema.

"You never can."

Sirius shrugged, examining the tickets. "Hey if it wasn't for my charms we would still be trying to get in."

"I can't believe you don't pass for twelve," James said laughing and shaking his head at Peter.

Peter was about to retaliate but Sirius spared them from a confrontation. "So?" he asked. "Where do we go now then?"

Remus pointed to the screen entrance but Peter had spotted the popcorn stand and dragged them over for sweets.

"Ooh I'm starting to like this place!" he said, a greedy smile spreading over his face.

"Have we got enough money?" James frowned, checking his pockets.

"Sure we have," Peter moaned. "I want some of that stuff!"

"What, that yellow stuff?" Remus asked, eyeing the food with distaste. "Looks a bit weird to me."

"Give me five minutes," Sirius grinned, spotting the popcorn seller was female.

James, Remus and Peter stood shaking their heads as Sirius strutted up to the counter. They laughed as he started to engage the popcorn girl in conversation; the girl eyed him hopefully and started to laugh.

"I don't know how he does it?" Peter moaned, watching as Sirius returned from the counter carrying four large bags of popcorn, which he had gotten for free.

"It's a skill Peter, you are born with it, it cannot be taught," Sirius winked mischievously.

"You are the most arrogant person I know Sirius Black," James concluded, laughing.

"Look do you want this stuff or not?" he asked, holding out the popcorn. "'Cos you're going the wrong way about it."

Peter whimpered and grabbed the popcorn from Sirius' hand.

"Okay are we ready?" James asked everyone.

The group nodded in reply as James led then through the doors into a small dark room filled with seats.

"Wow, where do we sit?" Sirius asked, being pureblood he had never been to the cinema before.

"Yes," James smiled. "We're the only ones here!"

"Take your pick gentlemen," Remus smirked, leading them up to the back row where they sat in the middle.

"So?" Peter asked. "What happens now?"

"Hey, these seats are pretty comfy!" Sirius laughed, taking off his shoes and putting his feet up on the chair in front. "I could get used to this."

Peter was tentatively trying his popcorn. "Hey, this stuff's not bad."

Remus looked at his packet uncertainly and took a small handful. "Eww it's like..." he put some in his mouth, "…a sweet buttery heaven!"

"Hey, let me try some!"

"Wow, it's like happiness in a packet!"

"I think I like this place."

Suddenly all the lights started to dim and an image flashed up on the screen in front of them.

"Ooooohhhh, kinda spooky."

"How do they do that!" Peter asked, apparently awe-struck.

"Shut up, the film's starting!"

'Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban' beamed at them from the large silver screen.

"Well," Sirius commented lightly. "This is going to be interesting…"

Sirius laughed as Harry's picture flashed up on the screen. "Wow looks like someone came out the wrong end of the Potter gene pool."

"Hey, he looks nothing like me," James answered, eyeing the screen with distaste.

"Well he is supposed to be your son," Peter grunted, still stuffing his face with popcorn.

"Maybe Lily had a little fun with the ice-cream man down the road if you know what I mean," Remus commented lightly, still laughing at the screen.

James hit him over the head and continued to watch the film. "Wow, that chick is ugly!" he wailed.

"James, that's supposed to be Lily's sister."

"But, it can't be, I mean come on Lily is hot! She's well…not."

"You think she's bad, check out this walrus lady."

Aunt Marge had just walked into the kitchen and was now bullying Harry over dinner.

"Mini Prongs versus Walrus Lady round one ding, ding," Sirius laughed.

"Not offence James but your son is a bit of a doormat, why isn't he standing up for himself?"

"Probably scared she's gonna sit on him."

They laughed and proceeded to watch as the argument unfolded over dinner in the Dursley household.

"So what was it the boy's father done again Petunia?"

"Unemployed."

"Yes I suspected as much, a lousy drunk too I expect."

"You have no idea!" Remus sniggered at the screen.

"I am not a drunk!" James wailed, an old couple up the back that the Marauders had not noticed looked at him concernedly.

"What did you do last Saturday night then, Prongs?"

"That was one time, Wormtail! One time does not turn me into a drunk!"

"Don't blame yourself for the way the boys' turned out Petunia. It's bad blood it is, you see it all the time with dogs, if there's something wrong with the bitch then there's something wrong with the pup."

Sirius and Remus had to grab James' arms and hold him down in his seat as he attempted to pick a fight with the screen.

"James, calm down, it's just a film!"

"Calling Lily a bitch," he muttered to himself, sinking back into his seat. "Say that to my face and I'll come and kick your fat walrus arse."

Satisfied that James was not going to attack anyone, Sirius and Remus let him go and continued to watch the film. Most unfortunately Harry seemed to be thinking along those same lines.

"Shut Up! Shut Up!"

"Wow, a well-chosen comeback my friend, someone insults your family, you tell them to shut up."

"Shut up Sirius, that's my 'son' you're talking about."

"You know he sort of bares a resemblance to Wormtail here."

"Oh great! Thank you for that lovely image, Lily and Peter, nice."

Peter huffed in his seat as the other three boys laughed. Suddenly, Aunt Marge started to inflate like a grotesque balloon.

"Now there's a useful talent!"

"Bet you wish you could do that."

"That has officially put me off my popcorn," Remus grimaced, handing his unfinished packet to Peter.

"MARGE NO!"

"Don't let go! Don't you Dare!"

Uncle Vernon dropped back to the ground and Aunt Marge floated skywards as Harry just stood and watched.

"I can fly high, like the wind, reaching the impossible!" Sirius sang as the others looked at him.

"You Put Her Back, You Put Her Back Right Now!"

"No! she got what she deserved!"

Harry stormed out of the house with his case and wand and into the darkness outside.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Harry has left the building!"

"Whoa, getting a bit rebellious isn't he?"

"Sirius, you ran away from home at that age!"

"Oh yeah, so I did."

"Well, the world is his oyster, he's just escaped and he can go anywhere he wants, so he goes to a play park."

"Your son has issues, Prongs."

"Oh so he's my son now!"

The others laughed.

Harry was sitting in the play park, staring moodily into the distance when suddenly the swing behind him started to move, the sea-saw went up and down and the roundabout started to spin.

"The Haunted Play Park, may the power of Christ compel thee!"

"Shut up Sirius! Why is the park moving? What is the point!?"

"Wait…what's that?"

Out of the trees which Harry was staring into, a dark shadow loomed and out stepped a particularly scrawny looking black dog.

"Padfoot's grand entrance," Remus laughed sarcastically.

"That is supposed to be ME?"

"Good likeness."

"It looks like an overgrown rat! No offence Pete."

"None taken."

"Why am I growling like that? Do I have rabies or something?"

"Looks like you're about to go for Harry."

"He looks happy to see you right enough."

Harry backed away from the dog, wide eyed. He tripped over his case and fell backward onto the pavement, flinging his wand hand out to brake his fall.

"And the award for most dramatic and pointless fall goes to…. Mr. H. Potter, I don't believe it!"

The group laughed as a violently purple triple-decker bus appeared in front of Harry, nearly running him over.

"Wow, there's a coincidence if I ever saw one."

Stan the conductor stepped out of the bus and stated conversing with Harry.

"He's attractive."

"Must you comment on everyone and everything in this film?"

"Yes."

Harry shoved some coins into the conductors hand and was led onto the bus, Stan bent down to pick up Harry's luggage.

"He's a muscle man!" Sirius yelled as Stan made a bandy legged walk back onto the bus. "Woohoo!"

"Take it away Ernie!"

"Yeah, take it away Ern!"

James wailed as the shrunken head appeared on screen. "Dear God that thing is scary!"

"It's like Sevvie on a sugar high," whimpered Remus.

"Look Sirius!"

"I don't want to," Sirius moaned, hiding behind his popcorn.

"No, look, Sirius. It's you, well at least I think it is?"

Sirius snapped open his eyes to see the Stan holding up a paper with a rather evil looking person on the cover.

James and Remus burst out laughing.

"That's ME!?"

"Sirius, did you like, do something to make the director hate you or something?"

Sirius looked at the screen, the close up of 'his' face was laughing manically and looked like a grandpa on crack.

"Nice Look mate."

"Gary Oldman!"

"Wow, nice look."

"Gary Oldman!?"

Stan started to explain how Sirius had murdered Peter Pettigrew and was now an escaped convict, Peter gulped and Sirius winked at him.

James and Remus laughed as Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Sirius looked upset, "Do I really look like Gary Oldman?"

"You're the spitting image."

"Shut Up."

"You're his identical twin."

"Shut Up."

"You think you're bad though, I wonder what the rest of us will look like?" Remus pondered, watching the screen.

"Hey I've just had a thought."

"Its not often that happens," James answered sarcastically but Sirius had chosen to ignore him.

"If we're all in this film, do you think Sevvy is?"

"It wouldn't surprise me."

Sirius clapped his hands together gleefully. "Do you think I'm in Azkaban for murdering him?"

"No, It's me you murder," Peter whimpered.

"Damn, I wasted my innocence on you?" Sirius moaned, turning back to the screen where Harry was gazing thoughtfully at his reflection in the bus window.

"Hey look, he's admiring himself, It is James' son!"

The old couple up the back watched with a smirk at the messy haired boy with the glasses hit one of his friends and they all burst out laughing as their futures were laid out unknowingly before their eyes.