Official Quote : They don't have Gundams, they have wings.
A/N : Just to make sure that you can catch my story well, I will state it now. I basically write this fanfic in third point of view, but I love flip-flopping the focus between the two main character : boy's POV (Heero) and girl's POV (Relena). Enjoy!
Wings
-a Gundam Wing Fanfiction-
Chapter One : Haunted
~o~
haunted adj 1 having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something [syn: obsessed, preoccupied, taken up(p)]. 2 inhabited by or as if by apparitions.
~She forgot, he remembered, yet they both missed something.~
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
She was running in a place she never knew before. A place which had many shadows of various grey shades, moving and spinning around rapidly. She was a little bit lost in haze.
There was someone there. She knew it, she knew those countless glances and whispers. She could feel that presence. Again. Yet she never managed to remember where or when it began. She knew that person by heart, but in the same time she didn't know who that person was. It was irritating. As if you saw a glimpse of a face but when you started to feel you knew that person, the image faded away, leaving you desperately trying to remember who that person was.
So she was running. Running until it felt like floating, even flying. Quick changes from the light to the shadow were making her dizzy. But her eyes caught the one she wanted to see, and she was determined to catch up this time. It was almost too hard to keep herself focused, she just tried her best effort.
When she was near enough, it was getting clearer.
The image was still a blur, but her chest was filled with hope.
Just… a little bit more…
She stretched her hand, but the person suddenly stopped and turned toward her. It was too late to avoid collision, so she just closed her eyes tightly, waiting the hit to come.
But it didn't come.
Only a sensation of gas and liquid brushed pass her skin, and she opened her eyes in expectation. Her eyes widened when realization struck in. That person, who was formed as mist, was sprawled into thin air while he was passing through her. She felt her sense became dull, her surrounding slowly turned into darkness.
"WAIT!"
And when her eyes saw light again, she was on her bed, staring to her room's high ceiling. She sat on her bed, sighed. Closing her eyes, she could still feel that presence from her dream.
"…who are you?" she whispered to no one.
Bird chirping was heard from those huge windows at a side of her room, followed by little knocking sound on glass window. She recognized that sound, her face brightened happily. She got up from her bed, walking to the window. She opened the curtain, greeted by morning sun ray and of course… her friends' enthusiastic faces. She laughed merrily and opened the glass window. Some pairs of little blue birds came into her room, chirping around her.
"Well, hello my little friends…" she said with smile on her lips, "How are you today?"
Those birds perched on the window's grid, looking at her with their little chocolate eyes. She looked outside the window, seeing the golden sun and the clear blue sky, her garden below and some butterflies around the flowers.
"Another beautiful day, isn't it?" she commented, feeling relaxed.
The birds chirped as if agreeing, and she laughed once more.
"Okay," she turned around, "Let's just prepare for a full day forward!"
The birds followed her to the bathroom and waited while she was doing her daily morning routines. After she dressed up for the day, she combed her hair in front of a body-length mirror. Carefully, she tied her honey-blond hair up in the two little side braids, like usual. Turning around to face her little friends, who now perched on the wooden edge of her bed, she smiled widely.
"Here I am, what do you think?" she asked, opening her arms.
Some birds started chirping in panic, and some sounded as if they were laughing.
"Eh?" she turned again to the mirror, "Oops…"
Her pretty image was shown on the mirror : her sky blue eyes, her strands of honey-blond tumbled a little past her shoulder, her almost-pale complexion covered with her school uniform… and a pair of pure-white wings which sprouted from her back.
She closed her eyes, and the wings disappeared. She turned her back to the mirror, looking past her left shoulder, to make sure the wings was no longer visible. She stopped abruptly. Her gaze was locked to the mirror, an unclear image of a boy was shown there. That person again. He stood there, watching her from near window. Gasping in surprise, she immediately averted her eyes to the window, but no one was there. She turned to the mirror again, finding the image was also no longer there. The birds were chirping again, worried because of her crestfallen expression.
Then a knock came from the door.
"Relena, darling… are you ready?"
"Yes, Mother," she straightened up.
"Good. Just don't take too long to join us for breakfast. Your father has been waiting for his 'little girl' in the dining room."
She chuckled at that sentence.
"I'm coming."
Just before she closed her door, she whispered to his little blue friends.
"I'll bring you guys some delicious bread crumbs," she said with a wink.
Oddly, all the birds nodded with happy whistles.
-.-.-
It was getting dark.
Heero stared to the horizon, watching intensely as the sky changed its color. Extreme climate changes did occur here. During the day, thick orange cloud was all they could see as the sky. Limited eyesight caused by slightly poisonous yellow fog and very high temperature made sure only a very few creatures could be out. But the heat was falling fast as the dusk turned into the night, the temperature went below the freezing point.
Even though the day was always severe, it was no compare to the night. When total darkness had surrounded them, the real danger was awoken. Most of people had returned to shelters by now, leaving this whole night for wild beasts and monsters, raging thunders and ice needles rain… and the soldiers.
The night was always a nightmare.
Yet as usual, their training would begin.
It was necessary to prepare for the worst. After all, this place where they lived in was never safe or comfortable. He knew everyone always wished for a better place, a place with clear blue-green sky, gentle zephyr, completed with fertile forests and wide rivers… as old stories told them. He doubted it ever existed.
Nevertheless he felt like he saw it in a dream once, the prosperous land. Once in a while, if he spent long enough time staring to the sky, he would find a glimpse of light blue color. Borderless blue sky, pristine white clouds…
He blinked, and the dreamland returned to the normal, real world.
Anyway, old stories and dreams were both unreal. He couldn't understand why those old men were so taken with it, believing and waiting the time when their neat-planned operation could actually begin.
Until that time, soldiers needed to be trained.
Standing in the middle of cold wind, he put on his guard. He stared to the darkness, scream and howl and roar filled the air. He could smell blood, covering red ground of their land, reddened it if possible. Yes, tonight was definitely another ordinary night.
-.-.-
The huge brass bell on peak of the tower was clanging, indicating that it was three o'clock already. But such a loud ringing sound barely entered her foggy mind, as she stared absent-mindedly to her Victorian-style school's garden.
"Who are you?"
She knew she dazed off again, but she couldn't help it. She put down her tea cup slowly and drew a deep breath. Around her, her girlfriends were still keen on their little happy talk, oblivious to her daydreaming. She tried to make herself seemed interested… she didn't want to be improper in their tea time break.
But she simply couldn't let the image from her dream off her mind. It was not that the dream was terrifying or bad, she was just curious. Why she went after that person? Why that person seemed to avoid her? Now when she thought it over, the image was vague all the time. She could barely see anything, then why she felt like she knew that person?
The familiar feeling raised goose bumps down her shoulders and arms. Exactly like the one she felt when that person passed through her, just before she woke up from her dream. That person was whispering something at that time. Although she wasn't able to decipher what he had said, she memorized the voice. It was deep and calm, but distant in the same time, giving her a kind of longing feeling. She wasn't making any sense, was she? At least low tone of the voice had proved her supposition : the person was a guy. Not that it helped much – she still got no identity hint, but she was glad to address 'that person' as 'he' without wondering if it was the right pronoun or not.
"Miss Relena…?"
She blinked from her trance. With her mind elsewhere, she had just waved her hand to a group of boys on a table across hers, barely acknowledging their greeting. Sadly, she wasn't aware of their blushes.
"Yes?" she turned to one of her friends with a smile.
"We were just thinking to hold a party for you," the girl explained.
"A party?"
"For your birthday," another girl spoke up.
"And also to celebrate the award for Junior Leadership Achievement that you got today!" the other girl added cheerfully, making the rest of the group nodded enthusiastically.
"Oh."
"Is it not good?" concerned faces were shown as they presumed her short response as disapproval.
"No, I think it will be nice," she smiled, "Actually, my father have mentioned the similar thing this morning."
"The Vice Foreign Minister did?" their expressions were full of admiration in hearing 'her father' part.
"He is wondering if some of my friends can come to celebrate my birthday next week," all ladies' faces were brightened visually. "So… what do you think about a party at my home?"
"Awesome!"
They started whispering and commenting in excitement. And before the school was over, the whole school had been talking about 'Miss Relena Darlian's birthday party'. On the other hand, the famous girl was blaming a certain imaginary boy for making her almost forget about her own birthday.
-.-.-
He saw a body.
Penetrating the pitch-dark in front of him, his eyes captured some movements. He unsheathed his sword, the blackened blood which covered it hadn't dried yet. Taking a stance, he strode for quick attack. In two blows, the body in the midst of small monster cluster had been freed. None of the monsters could avoid his sword, all of them were killed.
He glanced to the body. It was corpse of a soldier, half-eaten by monsters. He wondered how many soldiers were still alive now.
Stinky odor was coming from every direction. He scented danger. Blood and carcass had apparently attracted more ferocious beasts.
He knew he had been surrounded.
Wave of attacks came in sudden. He dodged, his sword parried with claws and fangs. He moved in steps and jumps, relying on his agility as usual, stabbed furiously to any monsters left opened. A familiar sense of killing was running in his veins. The sense was so strong, he felt himself sinking.
Every time his instinct took over, his mind was all set to kill. His sword became one with his hand, feeling every flesh and muscles he pierced through. His clothing was soaked with blood as his nose became more sensitive to fragrance of mixed poison fog, monster's breath, and putrid taste of clot. His eyes automatically focused to the vital points, the best places to deliver lethal blow. He could even sense dying process of any living thing in agony. It was like he turned into blood-thirsty killer.
And it terrified him.
He fought to push that thought down, to restrain urging instinct of killing, while trying to fend off himself from continuous attacks around him. He didn't pay attention to faint vibration from underground. It was severe fault. The ground below his feet exploded as a giant earth-worm surfaced, its horrendous mouth targeted him. He was sent flying.
Realizing he was defenseless, smaller beasts took that chance to swarm him in mid air, trying to overwhelm him. Pain thrust through his mind, his heart pulse was increasing in panic. The giant earth-worm was waiting on the ground, ready to strike. He gnashed grimly, anger was rising inside him. He glared to the monsters, his eyes turned crimson red.
With a long howl, the monster crowd was shattered.
Still in the middle of the air, he threw his sword right to the giant earth-worm's muzzle, pinning its mouth to close. Roar filled the air when he spread his bat-resemble-wings and landed to the ground. Exactly to the core of countless monster cluster.
He spun around, fire flared up from his fist. Without his sword, he had to fight bare-handed. Well, not exactly, since his hands had been replaced by claws.
As much as he didn't want to use this inhuman form, as much as he didn't want to get lost in killing instinct, he had to fight.
His mission was to stay alive.
He wouldn't let himself fail.
-.-.-
This had become irritating.
By evening, she entered her house with her heart in disarray. She had spent one and half hours before dinner in her garden, strolling with her little "friends" as usual to enjoy the view of various flowers and wonderful sunset. It always soothed her uneasiness of bothering problems. At least until that time. It definitely wasn't working now, since her musing was only getting worse, causing those sweet little blue birds be concerned of her blank-state. She hoped they wouldn't tell all living thing within one kilometer range so she wouldn't have to deal with great number of solicitous animals in her bedroom tomorrow morning.
She couldn't understand. It was not like that was the first time she had such dream. But before, dreams never tagged after her so strongly. Perhaps that effect was caused by a more regular appearance of him in her dreams.
Okay, not only in her dreams. Still, it was so embarrassing to admit her newest bad habit of daydreaming, not to mention about a boy. An imaginary boy it was, but she still preferred her parents knew nothing about her so-called 'dream boy'. Especially her father.
She was sure they would be more shocked than the time she befriended with birds.
So she stood in front of the dining room for a minute, taking a deep breath to regain her calm composure. And she opened the door.
Both her father and mother had occupied their seats, smiling softly to her direction. She smiled back and walked to her seat, which was positioned beside her father and in front of her mother. Pagan pulled the seat for her, and she mumbled a 'thank you' to the old butler. She sat down elegantly and directed her eyes to her father when he called her name.
"We have heard about your award today," Mr. Darlian spoke up.
"I was planning to tell you," she replied, eyeing Pagan suspiciously.
Pagan all but bowed slightly. "I will get the meal served."
But Relena saw a glint of amusement in the old man's eyes before he disappeared behind the door.
"Oh well," she rolled her eyes and sighed playfully, making her parents laugh a little.
Her father made a sound of clearing throat, "So, what award is it now?"
"Just a school award, " she tried to stay casual, "…for Junior Leadership Achievement."
"Really?" her mother commented, sounded interested, "In recognition of…?"
"…exemplary skills in academic, extra curricular and service projects," she answered, her voice weakened by degree as she spoke.
"Why… congratulation!" her mother stood and gave her a warm hug, "You should be happier, dear."
"I am happy," she answered after finished returning that hug, "But when all the people started to congratulate me…, I just… felt the attention too much…"
"Even after so many times of experiencing it?" her father teased her, causing her cheek become pink.
"It is good to be modest," Mrs. Darlian defended her daughter.
"Better get used to the attention," her father replied, smiling, "Anyways, I'm proud of you."
She smiled happily, pleased with her father's praise.
"Dinner is ready," Pagan's voice was heard from the door.
They returned to their seat, and the meal was served on the table. Pagan watched the happy family took their dinner from his spot at the corner of the room, smiling to himself at their intimacy.
When the dinner had over, the family took some time for chatting longer in living room. Which was rare, because Mr. Darlian was often too busy with his job as Vice Foreign Minister.
"…and I invited them to my birthday party next week. I intend to spread formal invitations tomorrow," Relena informed her parents, "Is it okay?"
"It is wonderful, dear" her mother replied, "I will help you to prepare the party."
"I'm glad to hear that," her father agreed.
But she noticed uneasiness shadowed her father's figure. "Father?"
Her father sighed.
"Unfortunately, I had a trip to visit a foreign country in Asia this week," he said and added quickly, "But I am going to be here on your birthday."
"Relena…" she felt her mother's gaze upon her.
"It's alright," she gave them a smile, "When will this trip start?"
"Tomorrow, I have to fly in the afternoon," her father answered as if apologizing.
"Really, don't worry about me," she said cheerfully, "Just make sure you return in time for my party, okay?"
"I promise," he answered in relief.
She asked more questions about the destination country, a small archipelago in south east Asia, not showing anything beside cheeriness. Then when the clock had announced her sleep time, they ended their small talk. She kissed her father and mother, bade them 'good night', and returned to her chamber.
But she didn't sleep immediately. Sitting on her bed, she stared to dim lightning of her room. She tried to check her plan for tomorrow, giving invitation cards to her friends, wishing safe trip for her father… anything. The truth was… she couldn't sleep.
She was annoyed. She thought she managed to clear her mind – she was succeeded during the dinner and the small talk – but it had proven wrong.
Alone in her bedroom, she had nothing to distract her from her 'dream boy'.
It's just a dream, it's just a dream…
She told herself to sleep. Yet, it only made her wondering what she would dream about tonight.
They said that if you dreamed a thing more than once, it would come true. And she had seen him so many times…
-.-.-
Sometimes he felt euphoria upon killing.
When he ended the giant earth-worm's life, the last monster around, his consciousness was still half-asleep. Without even realizing it, he ensured his surrounding was all clear. Nothing moved. Good.
He checked the stack of lifeless body on the ground, rejoicing his achievement, as if he was oblivious to bloody mess around nor his own condition.
Standing on a pile of countless corpses, both his claws blackened of blood and his dark wings were spread in the darkness of the night. That sight reminded us of Śiva the destroyer from trimūrti – the Hindu Great Trinity. His crimson eyes sparkled as red as ruby, frightening even the bravest man in the world, because it undoubtfully showed a warning : the owner of those eyes was heartless.
A target.
His mind registered the movement instinctively. With skilled moves of a predator, he followed those footsteps. It seemed that the target realized his hunting, the steps fastened. That effort of fleeing was useless, he knew the chase wouldn't last long. It's getting closer… he could feel the heartbeat grasping for breath… the breath caught in the throat…
He folded his wings, diving to seize the target. Frozen on the spot, the target was totally nerveless. One blow of his claw would make it over…
That was when the target started to shriek out. The loud scream of a little girl had stunned him. He gazed the target, who was indeed a girl, and drew a sharp breath. All his consciousness returned in a second, he was surprised to see a diffuse glow of the sky. The morning had come.
Those horrible creatures were no longer spawning everywhere. His training was over.
He repeated the fact a few times in his mind, to make sure he held his self-control back. Then he turned to the still crying girl on the ground. He extended one arm, blinked before made the claw returned back to a hand. He considered to wipe the blood with his cloth, but surprised to find his clothing had been worn-out of his wounds. Trying to clean his dirty hands as much as possible, he looked at the girl. Acknowledging his stare, the girl stopped crying, being completely still in horror.
With no words, he lifted the girl and made her stand on her feet.
"Return to the shelter," he pointed out to a direction, turning his back before added, "Be careful."
He didn't apologize.
That thought occupied his mind, he barely listened to his trainer's praise of his training result. He stepped into the hall, fewer and fewer soldiers could be seen nowadays, as the number of casualties increased drastically. Turning at a corner, he entered a small cabin of his. He didn't bother to treat his wounds, he slumped down instead.
After all it was the point of his training, wasn't it? To make him become a homicidal weapon of mass-destruction.
He closed his eyes on that description and begged his own brain not to go back to those thoughts.
Actually, it was strange for him to hate his life. From the start he never had another life beside this one. But although it was natural for him to grow up as a cold-blooded killer, it didn't happen. If it did, he wouldn't execrate himself like this. Like now, when he almost killed an innocent girl without even thinking.
He shuddered. He's certainly going to have bad dream today.
…or not.
Well, he refused to avoid sleep. In his injured condition, his body needed rest. Besides, it only delayed the problem, not solved it. He couldn't stay awake long enough – until today's event had been erased from his mind – without dying from lack of sleep. Then again, a certainly similar event would be repeated before he could start to forget. Not the correct choice, he concluded.
The choice left was to face it. The torturing un-peaceful dream, which brought more terror than any of his trainings or missions, where worst memories of events he wanted so much to never be happened, the scariest thoughts that ever passed in his mind gathered.
He was surprised himself why he hadn't become accustomed yet. Why he didn't practically just have no inner voice, no heart, no mind at all. So he would never have dreams. After all, only one dream of all his other dreams that wasn't bad dream. Just one single dream. He didn't know whether it was a fortune or a jinx.
When exactly he had that dream, he had no idea. The details had been worn-out due to time. He just felt it was long, long time ago. He was a kid that time, he assumed. It's not that his hand that age hadn't been stained with blood, but it shouldn't have been as much as now. He was just a kid, naïve enough to be able to have such fantasy. To dream about a heaven – so it might have to be called – a non-existent place. Strangely, it felt real. At first, he saw a garden. Green bushes and grass, some lush trees, and a lot of flowers. All of them were covered with dew, sparkling in a twinkle as he was fixed in enchantment. Then he felt a wind. Bringing nice scent of those flowers, the wind was fresh and relieving, that he closed his eyes to appreciate the bliss. And when he opened his eyes, all he could see was the sky, glimmering in brilliant blue. With some formless white cloud as its decoration, it looked magnificent. Somehow he knew the limitless of the sky was something his heart was craving for. So he stayed to stare, surrounded with peacefulness he had never felt, in the middle of nowhere.
That was when he saw another beauty, a figure that matched perfectly with the heavenly scenery. She stood there, showered by transparent glow, as if she was just an image that would vanish in any second. An incarnation of purity and freedom, just like the bright blue sky, which he often imagined longingly until now.
That vision was beautiful. All he saw in that dream were just too beautiful.
It really was so beautiful that he was struck with realization : all he had before was a foul compared with that dream. Having the one 'sweet-dream' had made him aware that all his other dreams were 'bad-dreams'. Having one 'perfect image of world' had made him feel that all things in his reality world were awful.
The single dream had given him the best memory he'd ever have in his entire life.
That single dream had given him a comprehension of his life, his wrong and mistaken life.
How ironic that dream was?
Laying in his small cabin, he scowled. He hated the feeling of being evil.
Idly he opened a panel on the ceiling, allowing him a peek of pale orange sky. He gave the sky a blank stare as he imagined the borderless blue sky in his dream, the fresh air, mixed with fragrance of countless flowers.
He wanted to see her.
Somehow if such feeling of necessity went worse, his brain would refuse to think of anything beside her image.
And strangely, the feeling was getting stronger these days, making it harder for him to press it down. Most of the time he succeeded, but sometimes – only at very rare times – he caved in. Like now.
He gave in to the memories, to the confusing swirl of emotions and images that always seemed to accompany her. Closing his eyes, he knew that her image alone was going to hold his entire mind. He'd gladly let her this time.
Slowly, he felt himself drifted off to sleep. Half-conscious, he barely decided that dream was indeed a fortune. Simply because that dream had given him her image. While it had caused more difficulties in his missions, it always succeeded in saving him from nightmares.
-.-.-
End of Chapter One
~o~
A/N : I tried to make the mood of each point of view contrast. Her colour is white. His colour is black. Do you feel it somehow? Well, I am inexperienced in writing so this actually was meant to be one-shot. But my heart of author just cannot let these ideas in my mind fade. I only need build a confidence, and your hand will be highly appreciated.
Last comment : I will value it dearly if you are willing to leave a comment. I'm always curious about what is in your mind after reading my writing.