[Please note, this was written after a followup fic by darlingchaos on Livejournal but you can read this as a sequel to Brotection without any explanation]

The Devil's Threeway

It's easier because she can't really see either of them. In the darkened bedroom, they are all cloaked in shadow.

She can't believe she's doing this. She can't believe that all it took was a few whispered words and a dirty grin.

There's a tangle of sheets and muscular limbs (twice as many as there should be) and one of them pulls Robin down, hooks an arm around her (heh, Ted) and nuzzles her neck. One of them flows over her like silk, going straight for her breast (Barney), kissing the under-side of her nipple before locking on like a nursing baby.

She can't believe that Barney and Ted actually spent the night together. She can't believe they actually want to do this with her. It sends her into a crazy place, a world where anything can happen; where nothing is impossible.

As they weigh her down it feels like she's floating, drowning, smothering but safe; all at once and all consuming. At first, it's as though she's tethering them, with her as the sun and them as planets in orbit around her, never meeting, never touching and it feels wrong.

But then she feels a hand snake across her belly (Barney) and latch on to the body beside her.

She's almost jealous when she feels Barney's tongue follow his hand down to her naval. Ted groans, loud in her ear, and her own fingers trace Barney's arm all the way down to Ted's groin where, to her surprise, she can feel him shamelessly masturbating Ted. She amused and outraged and bats Barney's hand away, her own fingers curling around Ted's erection, thumb brushing over the velvet-softness of his scrotum as she pumps it. Ted leans over and claims her mouth so she closes her eyes, only to open them wide in surprise as she feels Barney move his body between her legs. When she feels him nibble at the skin of her inner thigh, Robin arches her back, exhaling a moan as Ted breaks the kiss, his tongue running teasingly over her lips.

Then Barney's fingers are pressing into her, he's lapping at her clit, flicking his tongue hard, quick, slow, teasing and she growls, one hand grabbing at his head, catching a tuft of blonde hair as his head bobs. She can feel him wriggle, his groans sending vibrations through her pubic bone until she's an inch from climax. Then Ted pushes Barney suddenly away. Her fingers grope for warm, firm flesh but Ted is evil (is he doing this because of Barney-?)

Oh fuck!

Everything is suddenly pressed too close and musky and (who's kissing her? Stubble… Ted?) - their gasps entwine, their heartbeats echo and pulse, their limbs hold, grab, explore, slide away… Her body feels slick, slippery and there's a kind of groan of desperation from Ted and she realises that Barney's going down on him now…

"Hey!" She complains, because she'd so turned on that she's ready to hump the next random limb she feels pressed between her legs. Robin burrows her way under the sheets, nudging a torso aside and climbing up again until her lips come into contact with a lean, muscular thigh, then dick, then she's gulping and sucking and it's large and smooth and deliciously salty. She feels them pull at her, their bodies shifting, and she takes hold of his (Ted's?) buttocks and locks on, keeping up the rhythm even as she's pulled bodily across the bed.

She's on her side and Ted's nearly there, nearly ready to go; she can hear him whimpering and she doesn't know what to do. She's drowning again, suffocating, out of control even though she's the one with all the power.

Then there's a voice in her ear - soft, smooth, sending a fiery burn through her belly like good scotch. "Easy Scherbatsky… Not yet…"

There's a rustling, the mattress sinks and bounces, then she's grabbed from behind, her legs nudged apart and he's sliding inside her (Barney) and he's moaning, moaning (Ted) and he's jolting, pounding, hard, unyielding, filling her, harder, faster, harder, faster, fucking harder, harder, shit, harder, deeper…

She screams with pleasure, somewhere, deep in her chest, deep in her belly.

He screams (Ted), somewhere, erupting in the throat, coating her tongue…

He chokes out a something-sound (Barney) but can't hold back the whine that reaches her through her climax.

Sound, sensation, harder, harder, it's painful how sharp, perfect, how immediate her orgasm is, wracking her body as she sucks the two men into her, drawing them close to her, draining them of their warmth, strength, of everything…

Ted's penis slips from her lips like a sigh. Barney holds her loosely, not willing to let go. Ted laughs, pulls his body around and it's light enough now for her to see him perfectly. He looks… the same. He kisses her the same. He's Ted…

But then he leans over her (the hair on his chest tickles her nose) and his mouth covers Barney's with a hard, purposeful kiss.

She watches them, wide-eyed, until Ted lets Barney go and settles back on to the other side of the bed, sandwiching her between the two of them.

Ted kisses her again and she can taste Barney, and him, and herself, a weird fusion of the three of them and it's exotic and electrifying. Robin isn't sure if kissing is against the rules. She's pretty sure that the rules have all been broken.

She tilts her head, glancing at Barney. There's a ghost of a smile on his lips - eyes wide as if he's saying "hey, this is what I do!"

She looks back at Ted. He grins. His brown eyes slide away from her gaze, refocusing in a different space. She can practically feel Barney's grin on the back of her head, like the sun behind her, throwing her into silhouette, casting a shadow over Ted.

She feels awkward. She stares at the ceiling. She feels as if she's intruding on the two of them. On their intimate moment. She feels like the third wheel.

"Hey…?" Ted asks her, a frown in his voice.

But the walls are going up. Bricks and mortar. Ice and reinforced glass. The walls go up and…

When her feet touch the floor this won't have ha-

Barney squeezes her breast, not hurting her but getting her attention.

"Hey!" She tries to say but then Barney's kissing her, hard, sudden, almost clumsily, his tongue in her throat, shocking her…

Bringing her back.

"This happened…" He says, firmly, full of certainty.

She's panting, her lips parted, tingling, bruised, open to anything either of them want from her.

Barney's smiling and she gets the weird contradiction of him. Sex is much more than sex to him. It's an art form. It's his religion. His blue eyes sparkle like he's talking to god.

Ted looks happy. Content. Perhaps Barney is catching. Like some kind of sickness?

Perhaps the three of them can work?

Perhaps if all three of them manage not to freak out when their feet touch the floor?

But hey, it's Saturday… who says they need to get out of bed at all?

"Hey, Scherbatsky, Theodore… you think we can make this three for three?" Barney sniggers.

She doesn't have to look to know he wants a high five. She hears the slap of palm-against-palm as Ted obliges.

The noise gives her ideas.

After all, they both have very spank-able asses, right?