Authors Note: Thanks to my best friend, Allie, I am now back in business on my laptop! Thank God. Hope you enjoy.

Not mine.

Joe and I were sitting at his kitchen table. Well, Joe was sitting. I, on the other hand, was squirming like a two-year-old. I had some big news that I needed to share with Joe that he wasn't going to like.

For those of you don't know, my name is Stephanie Plum and I'm a bounty hunter. Joe is my on again/ off again boyfriend who was probably about to become off again, but permanently. One of the reasons we are so hot and cold is Ranger aka Ricardo Carlos Manoso, who is currently in the wind and has no idea what's going on.

"Steph, can we move this along? I got to get to a scene."

I sighed. Now or never. "Joe, I'm pregnant."

He looked up at me, mouth agape.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"We need to get married."

"We're not getting married."

"Why not? If you're carrying my child…"

"I never said it was yours."

"Is it Manoso's? I'm going to kill him."

"I didn't…"

"How could you do this to me, Stephanie? Humiliate me like this?"

"What?"

"I wanted to marry you! I wanted to get you pregnant! He's a mercenary! He doesn't care about you at all! Jesus, Cupcake."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. Get out."

I got up and grabbed my purse. I had anticipated that he would act this way and packed my car before I told him. "When you decide to grow up, call me." I shut the door and heard him throw a plate. I cringed at the thought of it being me instead of a plate.

Four months later, I figured that I had procrastinated and denied telling my parents long enough. I went over there for dinner and told them.

My mother made the sign of the cross. "When are you and Joseph getting married?"

"I bet it's not Joseph's," Grandma said, "I bet its Ranger and his nice package. Anything that nice would know how to get the job done."

My father cringed.

"It's not Joe's…"

"How could you, Stephanie. Joseph is a good man and you go get pregnant by that…that thug!"

"Ranger's not a thug!" Well, he kind of is, but mom didn't really need to know that.

"He was your last chance for a normal life. He was your last chance for marriage! No one's going to marry you now!"

I got up. There was no way in my condition that I was going to sit through the rest of this meal.

"Where are you going Stephanie?!"

"Home."

I sat in my car until the tears and the shaking began to slow. I was startled by my passenger door being opened.

My father sat down.

"I made a mess of everything. Joe won't talk to me. Mom hates me. The entire burg is going to know and hate me. Oh, God, Grandma Bella is going to give me the eye!"

Dad began to rub soothing circles around my back. "You did not make a mess of everything. Joe is scum. He was never good enough for you. Your mother doesn't hate you. She's just tired of having children that don't follow in her footsteps. The burg is not going to hate you. They're going to love the drama. It's like living in a soap opera. And Grandma Bella is a crazy old coot. Just like Grandma. Don't worry about her or I'll put my gun on her eye."

I laughed at the last statement. "Thanks, Dad."

"Your welcome, Pumpkin." He paused. "What about Ranger?"

"He's out on business."

"You need to talk to him. He loves you more than he would like the world to think. He sat through dinner with your Grandmother and Mother and still talks to you."

"So does Joe."

"Joe only wants one thing. A wife. Ranger wants you to be you. That's different."

I didn't understand how it was different, but I was too tired to argue him. He smiled at me and then told me to go home. I came home to a comfortable silence and Rex. Thank God for Rex.

When I got pregnant, I decided to take my job back at Rangeman. Tank was relieved to get me off the streets and into the office. I was glad too. It was nice to get a steady paycheck. Tank and Lula were completely supportive of the entire trip. They take care of me and make sure I make all of m appointments and get all my vitamins. They are truly going above and beyond the call of friendship.

Three months after the horrific dinner, I still hadn't talked to my mother. I figured that we would talk again after the baby was born and everything was talked out. I unlocked my door and found a surprise waiting on my couch.

"Jeez. They make locks for a reason." I said.

"Babe." Ranger smiled. He looked down at my engorged stomach and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't say anything. I'm feeling self-conscious."

"Morellis?"

"Nope."

"Mine?" He looked a little nervous.

"No."

He nodded. "See you around, Babe." And he left.

I stood there, stunned. He said a total of seven words to me before bolting. I didn't understand what I did. When I left Joe, it stung, but not like a whole chunk of my heart was missing.

Oh, god, I loved him.

Well everyone knew that, but I guess I had made my choice. I wanted Ranger.

And he just left me.

I clutched my heart and sat down. He didn't even want to know the whole story. He asked two questions and left. And with it, he took a piece of my heart. Jeez, I was hormonal.

"Hey white girl, how's it going?" Lula asked when I opened the door. "Uh-oh, don't tell me that Batman was here."

"He was."

"And?"

"He said seven words. He knows nothing and I'm in love with him."

"Well, duh. You want me to talk to him?"

"No, he's too damn stubborn to listen to anyone."

"What about Tank?"

I just shook my head.

"One day, he's going to get his head out of his ass. He loves you."

That was the second time I had heard that and it was getting old.

"White girl, I'm here for you, no matter what Batman does."

I smiled. "Thanks."

I never thought the date would come, but it did.

I went into labor.

"SHIT! Oh my god, I think I'm going to shoot someone!" I screamed.

"Just hang on, white girl, the drugs are coming!" She walked to the door. "HEY! WE NEED DRUGS, NOW!"

I relaxed as the contraction passed. I wished I was a man. They didn't have babies coming out their hoo-has.

"How are you doing?" Tank asked as he walked into the room.

"Oh, just fine. You know, just pushing a human out my doo-dah."

He just nodded, clearly missing my sarcasm.

After the miracle nurse and doctor gave me my miracle drugs, I was feeling miraculous. They stayed close because I was dilating faster now. They said in the next couple of hours or so, I would be ready to push. Two hours later it was when Tank's beeper went off.

"Uh-oh."

"What's uh oh?" Lula asked.

"I got to go."

"Tank, Tank! What's wrong?" She followed him out of the room.

I wasn't alone long before I felt the tingle on my neck.

"Ranger?"

"Hey Babe."

"Okay, Stephanie. You're fully dilated and you need to push."

I nodded and began pushing on the contraction.

"Good, good, you can stop." She said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I just wanted you to know that I was here for you. No matter what."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter who's the father. I love you and I'm not letting you go."

I gaped at him until another contraction came and I pushed.

"Ranger, it's not what you think…"

He bent down into my ear. "Just make sure the next one's mine."

If I wasn't in labor, I was sure I would've had an orgasm.

"I…uh…um…what?"

"I'm playing for keeps. You're mine. And I'm yours."

"You're not saying that because I'm having a baby, is it?"

"No, but it made me realize I don't want anyone else to have you. That makes you mine."

"Okay, one more big push."

I pushed, screamed, cried, and punched Ranger in the eye until we heard the screaming. When Ranger woke up, he looked at the baby, and then at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What? Is he okay?"

"He's fine, babe. He…looks a lot like…Tank."

"I should hope so."

He looked at me. "Explain."

"Lula can't have kids because of Ramirez, and they wanted one, so they asked me to be a surrogate and I said yes."

"Did Morelli know this?"

"Didn't stop screaming long enough to ask."

He pushed a sweated curl out of my face. "His loss is my gain."

I smiled at him.

The doctor then shooed him out so I could get some sleep, which I fell into instantly. When I woke up, I felt Ranger watching me.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"That the next one better be yours."

"If that's what you want, babe."

"I do…" I smiled at him. "But we should date first."

"I don't know if I can keep my hands off you."

"You're going to have to. No sex for six months."

"We'll work around it."

I laughed. "Babe."