Title: Remorse (2 of 2)

Author: Yamato795

Rating: Honestly, it's probably only PG I think.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not the game or the characters.

Warning: This story is SPOILER HEAVY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE YET TO FINISH THE GAME, OR LEARN ABOUT REGAL'S PAST, HOLD OFF ON READING THIS UNTIL YOU DO.

Remorse

What Zelos had offered was impossible.

Pardon for murder?

Freedom from his pain?

Regal could never accept them. To the King, perhaps, this was a gift, a chance at handing redemption to an old friend. But to the convict, it was not a gift, but a reminder of the blood on his hands and how he had yet to truly pay penance for his crime. For so long now he had worn the metal bonds on his wrists, had trained to fight with them on even because they were a symbol of what he had done. When he looked at them, he would remember that day, her voice pleading with him. And if he were to throw the shackles off now he would be throwing away the memory of that day, of the crime he had committed against the one he loved.

No one had stopped him from abruptly running out of the Lezareno Building, nor did anyone question the departure. It was his company after all. So he was free to go back into Altamira, to leave the resort town, and venture out into the open field of the small island. Normally he would not have run away. Regal Bryant was a grown man raised in high society, a man who had readily accepted even his punishment for murder as well as what else fate had had in store for him.

But in that moment faced with the temptation of releasing himself from the burden of penance and suffering, he'd needed to get away. Away from the key that promised release and the eyes of the pair that expected him to go through with his promise to Alicia.

She had not wanted him to suffer, but how could he not? Every night he would see it happen again, as if watching detached from his former self, and it caused him to wake up in a cold sweat with a cry of agony that no one else ever heard. How could she expect him to continue on knowing he had been the instrument of her demise? How could she want him to dispose of the very symbol of his sins when it would not end the suffering or the nightmares? No pardon from the king would erase what he had done.

And no key could set his soul free.

"Alicia…" Regal whispered, falling to his knees. It went against everything he stood for not to keep his vow to her, yet he could not bring himself to take off the handcuffs. Turmoil stirred within his very being, warring with his heart and his mind. He had loved Alicia completely, and now it was destroying him from the inside out. He could not heal. He could not redeem himself. The blood would never come off of his hands no matter if he saved millions from becoming the victims of Exspheres, because saving those lives could never make up for the one life he took. "I'm…sorry…"

"I never thought I'd find you out here." The pleasant voice brought the Duke back to reality, his azure eyes snapping open. How long had he been in this field outside of the city? Had he actually fallen asleep? Slowly drawing himself up into a sitting position in the lush grass, he came face to face with someone he had not expected. Grinning back at him was Lloyd Irving, who was supposed to be headed for Flanior, sitting cross-legged with his head cocked to the side. "Hey, Regal."

"Hello, Lloyd." The convict then winced. "Did Zelos contact you?"

"I guess you wouldn't believe me if I told you that I stopped by for more information on that shipment of Exspheres you located in Flanior, huh?" the twin swordsman laughed, albeit weakly, with a small shrug. In spite of his playfulness, there was an underlying concern in both Lloyd's eyes as well as his tone, but he was not one to express it just yet. He seemed to be calmly observing the older man in a way that made Regal wish that Zelos had never become involved in his situation. After a long moment of silence, Lloyd took a deep breath and stated bluntly, "He told me about what happened. You had both Presea and Zelos worried, running off like that. Not to mention falling asleep in the middle of a field where there are still monsters around!"

"I have not been…sleeping well recently," the president admitted reluctantly, now avoiding the gaze of his friend. "But I suppose that much is obvious."

"Yeah. And as much as I need your help collecting all of the Exspheres, I might have to ask you to stop if you're not going to take care of yourself," Lloyd remarked with a nod shifting slightly where he sat. His expression was slowly molding into something more thoughtful, the concern supporting what seemed to be a calm approach. Usually Lloyd was reckless and blunt, but perhaps in the time he'd spent running around two worlds to save them he'd grown up, even if it was only a little.

With the boy staring at him quite openly like he was waiting for him to do something, Regal again felt his composure crumbling just as it had in his office. Normally the young swordsman would probably be sympathetic with him but also demand to know why he would do what he had done. Yet the teen who had saved two worlds was just watching him. With a large sigh, he finally gave in, leaning back slightly so he could focus on the cloudless sky above to escape his demons chasing him on the earth below. "Alright, Lloyd, go ahead and ask me."

Lloyd blinked in confusion. "Ask you what?"

"Why I will not remove my shackles." Hadn't that been the question that the boy had wanted to ask, hanging in the air without even being hinted at? Or was it that the Duke had wanted so badly for someone else to ask because it would give him the opportunity to justify his actions?

Tilting his head to the other side, the brunette swordsman actually seemed a lot like the man he'd discovered was his father before replying, "Regal, we both know the reasons you've worn those handcuffs for so long. But what I don't know is why, even though you vowed to Alicia you would take them off when we defeated the people who used Exspheres to hurt people, you are still wearing them."

"Lloyd--"

"You're breaking your vow to Alicia. She wanted for you not to continue on living in pain. Zelos brought you a legitimate way to finally remove them, and not only do you turn him down but you're denying Alicia one of the last things she wanted, for you to stop punishing yourself," the younger man commented before Regal could say anything else. "And from what I can tell, you have always been a man of your word. So I don't understand why this time you're not going to keep it."

"What would it change if I did remove them, Lloyd?" the convict demanded while clenching his fists, his voice sounding harsher than he'd intended. It was not even the swordsman across from him that he was angry with, nor was it Zelos for speaking with the King of Tethe'alla, because Regal knew that both Lloyd and the loudmouth swordsman were just trying to help him. No, the nobleman was furious with himself. Nothing he did was ever enough. George had sent Alicia away to Vharley and even though back then Regal had turned the Toize Valley mine over to that greedy worm of a man, it hadn't done anything to save Alicia. Then when he'd confessed to her murder to pay for his crime the time he'd spent in a cell had done nothing to alleviate his grief or his agony. Killing Vharley and even Rodyle had done nothing to soothe him either. Even now, hunting down the Exspheres that had made so many victims, brought no relief to his soul. And now he'd been presented with a way to change his fate, a chance at taking away a constant reminder of his sins. How could casting off his bonds finally send him on a path to peace when nothing else had? "She will still be gone, and I will never be able to end the suffering I feel over that."

"She didn't want you to live like this though. She cared so much about you; she wanted you to stop living in the past," Lloyd pointed out, that sorrowful look in his eyes.

"I cannot just forget--" Regal was practically bristling with anger and frustration now.

"No one is asking you to forget her, Regal," the swordsman cut in soothingly.

"Lloyd…" His head was swarming with too much for him to focus. What was he supposed to do? Why did it seem all of his friends knew what he should do, and yet he himself was torn between the way he'd been raised to be a man of his word and the fact that he didn't know what would happen if he removed his bonds. Would he end his suffering if he wasn't wearing them? Would he stop blaming himself? The idea that he would seemed ridiculous, but it still crossed his mind.

"Regal, I'm not going to tell you what to do, and I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. The reason I came to Altamira wasn't to try to get you to take off the handcuffs, it was because Zelos said he thought you were in bad shape and that he figured he might have made things worse." Lloyd insisted holding up his hands in mock surrender. "The thing is that I know Alicia wouldn't want you to do this to yourself, she'd want you to be happy or at least to try."

"How can I ever be truly happy again, Lloyd?" Regal asked sullenly.

"To be honest? I don't know," the swordsman breathed out after an anxious pause. "But you haven't even tried. What would Alicia think if she knew you were practically keeping yourself in constant pain, though? You're still holding onto the past, and not just so that you won't forget her, but so you won't begin to forgive yourself."

At this the convict looked away not in shame, but as if he needed to just to keep his composure. This was something that Regal did not want to face; he'd never even considered it. When his love had begged him to stop tormenting himself the only thing he had been able to do was give her a promise that he would when his mission was complete. Now with the mission actually complete he had to face the idea of trying to live life as something other than a sinner.

"Regal…" the boy sounded worried still, and closer. Sparing a glance up, the older man found Lloyd had gotten to his feet and come closer, holding out a hand as if to help his friend up. "At least, for now, come back into the city with me."

He was not asking for anything final, so the Duke gave a slight nod before rising on his own, his gaze falling onto the metal clasping his wrists. It had been so long that he could not imagine them not attached and restraining the hands he'd once used as weapons. The crimson wearing swordsman offered a small, encouraging smile to his companion before leading the way back to the large resort town. Even though the silence between them was tense, Regal couldn't help but be a bit thankful that the teen had matured enough to at least know there were times when words were not needed.

"Regal?" It had been getting late, and although Lloyd had come to assure both of them that the president of the Lezareno Company had returned to Altamira, Presea had yet to see him herself. She had been waiting in his office for him to come back just as he would have if this had been a normal break in his hectic work schedule, and there had yet to be any sign of him. So while Zelos and Lloyd had gone to the hotel to rent rooms for the night, the ax woman decided to look for the convict in the only other place she expected to find him: on the Sky Terrace, visiting Alicia's headstone.

In front of the memorial was where her friend sat, cross-legged, as if he'd been staring for hours at the stone slab that had once housed an Exsphere. He only looked up at the sound of his name, not startled, no, more like he'd been caught. Then, heaving a deep sigh, his gaze turned back to keeping its vigil on the stone, the tension rolling off his shoulders until she almost thought he seemed to have deflated. "I should have known that only you would think to look for me here, Presea."

"Were you talking with Alicia?" It had been the same question that Regal had asked her back when the worlds had only just been reunited, and it felt almost fitting for her to voice it for him now. She was watching him intently for his response as she stepped up behind him in the lamplight of the terrace, as if she could have discovered what her sister's killer was thinking from the back of his head and loose posture.

"I wish that I could." Regal told her solemnly.

She wanted the same thing. For sixteen years time had gone by and she had barely had a grasp of any of what had happened to her then, not to mention the fact her body hadn't aged a day. While she had been controlled by the Cruxis Crystal Presea had not only lost her father, but her younger sister, and she would have given anything to see them again. But when she had parted ways from Lloyd, Genis, and the others, she had realized that during the many arduous battles they had endured their group had become more than just friends. They'd become a surrogate family to one another. Regal, as much as she could blame him for Alicia's death, was still a part of that family.

And though she was biased with this issue, out of any of the others, Lloyd and his authority as leader included, perhaps it was her that Regal needed the most now. Yet even though she knew this, she had no idea what to say to the older man, so she allowed herself to at least be comforted by the fact that she finally knew of his whereabouts and that he was not in danger.

Minutes passed without event, the taciturn girl merely watching the nobleman with her fingers curled in the fabric of her dress. And then a sudden movement from the other brought her back to reality where she perceived Regal climbing to his feet and whirling to face her, his normally blank, stoic expression now pensive, nearly anxious. His pleading azure orbs were then locked on her own trying to convey a message that proud, strong men like Regal could never express with words.

He was lost.

What amazed her, though, was the sympathy that swept through her for him.

"What do I do now, Presea? I vowed to Alicia to remove these shackles even though they represent my sins, and now that the time has come to keep my word I do not believe I can." His voice was nothing but a whisper that she barely heard because of how much he towered over her. "Have I truly suffered enough for my crime…have I done enough to honor the life I took…or do I deserve these bonds as much as your hatred?"

He had to know that she didn't hate him. She couldn't, not only because one of her sister's last requests had been to forgive the man, but also because of all the things that Regal had done to help her as well. Genis had told Presea in great detail how much the convict had insisted on finding a way to save her from the parasitic effects of her Cruxis Crystal. She had often wondered if the Duke had thought of it as another way to pay penance to Alicia. The young woman who still appeared a child pursed her lips in thought, seeing the other's desperation but wanting to consider everything before she spoke. If Regal would listen to her more closely than anyone else, she had to be careful just what she said.

Squinting up at him, she wanted to try to see him in a different way. Not as a fighter, a murderer, a nobleman, or the president of a large company. Presea wanted to see Regal Bryant as the man that had loved Alicia, loved her so much so to have the courage to end her pain.

"I should not have an opinion on this matter. I cannot decide what you should do for the rest of your life, Regal," Presea finally commented her head tilted slightly to the side. Such a stance made her look even more childlike. "All I know is that my sister loved you very much and you made a promise to her that you would stop punishing yourself. If you believe that you can keep your vow and still wear those shackles then you should do so. But if wearing that symbol of your crime means that you will continue to allow your health to deteriorate, as well as cause you even more pain, then it is time to remove them."

"Perhaps you are right." There was a trace of disappointment in his tone, but that was the only real reaction she received for her statement. He seemed to brood over her words in the silence that hung between them again.

"Regal, you have done so much to honor Alicia's memory that no matter what you decide to do the others and I will understand," Presea reassured the convict gently, her lips curling up into a small smile. "With or without those shackles you are still Regal, as Lloyd would say."

He returned her smile, the first time he had truly smiled in days. "Thank you, Presea."

In a rare display, Presea's grin grew.

Altamira was always buzzing, whether it was the beach when the sun was up, or the theater and casino when the sun was down. Lloyd couldn't believe all of the people running around in bathing suits, hurrying out of the hotel to bask in the morning's glorious rays while enjoying the ocean's cool waters. The brunette swordsman was waiting in the lobby for Zelos impatiently watching the tourists bustle about.

They were supposed to have met Presea at the Lezareno Building twenty minutes ago. Lloyd knew the other swordsman was awake, considering he'd practically had to drag the red headed charmer out of bed about an hour ago, but he couldn't figure out just what was taking his friend so long. Didn't Zelos want to check on Regal as much as he did? Wasn't that the reason they had both stayed in the resort town over night? Zelos wouldn't be as inconsiderate as to climb back in bed when one of their companions was in so much distress, would he?

"I'd better find out what's taking him so long." Lloyd stood with a sigh, knowing that if he didn't do something soon he might never make it out of the hotel.

As if on cue Zelos stepped off the elevator, stifling a yawn with his hand before then stretching his arms above his head. His azure eyes landed on the younger fighter taking note of the very annoyed look Lloyd had plastered on his face and when he finally stood next to him, Zelos could only shrug with slightly feigned innocence. "What?"

"What took you so long?" the brunette teenager demanded arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey, it takes time to look this beautiful!" his companion retorted gesturing to his face and his hair as if the effort behind it was plainly visible. A grin curling his lips he then brushed past Lloyd headed for the door. "Shouldn't we be going?"

Shaking his head, Lloyd chased after the other swordsman, soon falling into step next to him as they trekked past tourists towards the large company headquarters. The receptionist waved shyly at Zelos before the pair got on the elevator, some of the other office workers looking at the two of them oddly. Here were two of the warriors that saved the reunited worlds and not everyone recognized them for it.

Lloyd had thought he'd find Regal at the large desk in the spacious office when they stepped off the lift, but when the gates opened all that his gaze found was Presea flipping through a folder amongst the numerous towers of books. One of her eyebrows rose at the sight of them as she placed the document on top of one of the stacks, her expression unreadable. "I expected you half an hour ago. Where were you?"

"Uh…Zelos spent too much time in front of the mirror," the twin swordsman laughed sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. He glanced around a bit. "Where's Regal?"

"I believe he went up to the Sky Terrace early this morning," the ax woman remarked softly masking her concern behind an indifferent profile, her fingers curling into the fabric of her black dress. Ever since her talk with the convict by her sister's grave, Presea had been worried that the answers she'd given to her friend had been wrong. There was the possibility that what she had said had only caused the man more turmoil and confusion. "He probably requires more time to think."

"Okay, then," Zelos nodded striding over to the large desk, still a mess of open books and scattered documents, lifting up the box he'd given to Regal only yesterday. "Did he bring the key with him?"

"It is not in the box?" Presea gasped.

Grinning his sly, signature grin, the red haired swordsman gestured to the fact that not only was the box open, but empty as well. "It's not here. And I doubt that anyone would come into the Lezareno Company headquarters, sneak past security, up to an office with nothing of any real value, all to steal a key."

"Do you think--" Lloyd didn't even bother to finish his thought, charging back into the elevator with his two companions on his heels. He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited for the lift to get them to the top floor.

The threesome ran without hesitation once the gates opened, over the path and under the overpass, coming to a screeching halt only a few feet behind their friend. To Presea, it was as if the company president had never left the terrace, except this time he stood vigil at the headstone, hands still held in from of him as if he still wore the shackles. But if he hadn't taken them off, why had he taken the key?

The young woman who appeared to still be a child spoke first. "Regal?"

Straightening up, the nobleman spun to face his friends, the bags under his eyes having faded leaving his azure gaze warm, welcoming. Perhaps that was not what caught the attention of the others though, considering they were not expecting to see he was still wearing the handcuffs, even though the key was missing. Lloyd glanced from Zelos, who appeared just as confused, down to Presea, who had stepped up to the president of the Lezareno Company with her head cocked to the side. Neither swordsman knew of the conversation the pair before them had had at this site earlier.

"Presea…I have something I need to ask you." The Duke spoke after the small stunned silence, the corners of his lips resisting the urge to turn up. When was the last time she had seen him so content, so unlike the serious brooding man she had first met? She could not recall, but it put the anxious twisting in her stomach more at ease to see Regal better, to see him more at ease than she ever had before.

"Oh?" Cocking her head to the other side, Presea finally noticed that the convict was clutching something in his bawled fist, and she felt that she was holding her breath when she saw his fingers begin to uncurl. Behind her, both Zelos and Lloyd gasped rather loudly.

Regal held the key out to her, the expression on his face apprehensive, almost sheepish compared to the confident way he usually carried himself. In his hand was the key that the day before he had refused, the key that would release him from his long-time bondage, but why was he offering it to her? Why silently, with those pleading eyes, was he asking her to take it from him? Presea only exhaled when her fingers touched the warm metal and she found herself unable to look away from the man that had murdered her sister, not in cold blood, but in an act of love.

For a moment, she wanted to ask him what he was doing, what he wanted from her. And yet when she opened her mouth, no sound came out. "…?"

"Will you unlock them for me, Presea?" He held out his shackled hands, awaiting his impending judgment. All at once the Duke's three companions understood what he was doing, why he was asking this of the ax woman. Perhaps he wanted to keep his vow to Alicia, and perhaps he didn't, but even more so, he needed Presea to begin to forgive him. She was his friend, his comrade, and the sister of the woman whose life he'd taken, so to take off the symbol of his crime he needed her to validate the decision. Regal needed to know she did not hate him, that she would not hate him if he finally removed the bonds.

Lloyd couldn't help but smile. Regal was trying to give Alicia both of the things that she had wanted: for Regal to stop punishing himself and for Presea to forgive him. From the corner of his eye he could see that Zelos was grinning too, and he wondered if they were both proud of the man they considered to be practically an older brother.

Then, without hesitation, the taciturn girl smiled at the older man as she had the night before, that warm smile that distracted Regal so much he wasn't brought back to reality until he felt a familiar weight drop from his arms. For the first time in years, his hands were free. He was free. Unconsciously his fingers were brushing over the skin of his wrists as tears welled up behind his eyes. When was the last time he had actually cried, out of joy or pain?

Presea was still smiling up at him. "Alicia would be so happy."

He nodded weakly not trusting his voice with so much emotion surging through him. The Duke knew that he should be expressing his gratitude; to Zelos for bring this beautiful gift, to Lloyd for encouraging him to do what he thought right instead of judging him, and to Presea most of all. What she had done, could she knew what it meant to the man who had loved her sister? Would she understand how much remorse he felt for being unable to protect Alicia, for being unable to save her?

Dropping to his knees, using his now free arms, Regal wrapped them around the pink haired young woman. She seemed startled at first and yet she embraced him in return almost instantly. In the background they both heard Zelos cheer, or maybe it had been the brunette swordsman, but neither acknowledged it.

In a whisper only she would hear, Regal choked out a feeble, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she told him gently.

As Regal stood, the tears leaving his gaze and an enormous weight lifted from his shoulders, Lloyd chuckled and clapped him on the back. Zelos had a similar grin on his face and it was obvious he was celebrating his good deed on the inside.

"Well," the twin swordsman proclaimed, a hint of pride lacing his tone as his dark eyes glittered. "I guess the only thing left to do now is finish collecting those Exshperes, right, Regal? That way we'll all be keeping our promises."

"Yes," the nobleman agreed resisting the urge to shake his head at the brunette teen's antics. Lloyd always knew how to move things forward, to keep the eyes of those around him on the future. It could have been considered rash, or foolishly optimistic, but at the moment, Regal was grateful to the young fighter for showing him how to do so. He would never forget Alicia, but he needed to turn his gaze from the past. It was what she would have wanted.

"Then why don't you come with me to Flanior?" Lloyd exclaimed with his usual excitement over a new possibility or adventure. He might have matured over the length of his journey, but some of his habits were still there, and that just made him Lloyd. Passing his gaze over each of his friends he attempted to convince them to join him once more. "It'll be just like old times! I could use all of you with me, and well…I sort of miss our group being together."

"Count me in, bud," Zelos remarked with a laugh, throwing his arms around the younger swordsman's shoulder affectionately. "The Great Zelos could use another adventure."

"I would like to go along as well," Presea added a moment later, then glancing up at Regal to see his reaction to the invitation. If the president didn't want to accompany them, there was always the chance that he would go right back to working himself too hard, and she didn't want him to take that step backwards when he had already come this far. The break from the office work could be just what he needed. "Will you come too, Regal?"

"All in all I don't see the harm in doing some footwork myself," he retorted after considering his options.

His answer pleased the others, Lloyd's excitement showing in the way he had to insist on leaving right away on the Rheiards. And although Regal himself was also happy to go, to leave behind the documents and records if even for a short time, he couldn't stop his gaze from turning back as Zelos tried to herd them all to the elevators.

On the ground, right before his beloved's grave, were the abandoned handcuffs and key, two symbols about to be forgotten in this upsurge of change. No longer would he be in bondage. It didn't change what he had done; it was only going to have a ripple effect on what he would do from now on. With one reverent glance at the tombstone that caused a painful tug in his chest, Regal turned his eyes away to follow Lloyd's example. It was time to look forward again and to concentrate on the future. Alicia had wanted that for him.

And just as he would always love her, he would never get over his remorse for what he had done. But along with that remorse there was hope. He still had plenty of life left to live. He could live it in honor of her.

~Fin~