Disclaimer:Rather unfortunately, or fortunately (however you see it), I don't own Bleach and can only borrow and play with the lovely characters.

Zaraki's Birthday Surprise

The pattering of sandaled feet slapping against the ground thundered through the myriad of pathways that made up Seireitei as one angry Zaraki Kenpachi rounded the corner, heading towards the captains' training grounds.

Zaraki was not in a good mood. He had been woken early this morning by an unusually excited Yachiru, who had promptly plopped a pink and turquoise thing on his head the minute she saw him open his eyes and cheered about how today was "Ken-chan's" birthday. At first, he hadn't fully registered what she meant by it being his birthday, after all, he was from area 80 of North Rukongai and everyone had been too busy fighting to survive to worry about when they were born. Then he had seen his white haori.

Or rather, what had been his white haori before Yachiru decided to draw all over it with a bright pink crayon, detailing all the years they had spent together, retelling his whole life's story, the parts she knew anyway…

It had taken quite a bit of bellowing on his part to summon his third seat and demand that he go find him another crayon-free haori, as Yachiru had drawn on all of his spare sets. The man hadn't returned until a full hour later, his own shihakushō ripped in various places and what had looked suspiciously like teeth marks adorning his bald head.

Breakfast had been hell too, what with the hall being adorned with pink and purple ribbons, balloons, and confetti that kept on falling into the breakfast he was trying to enjoy. But he had grit his teeth and suffered through it all, because Yachiru had put it together for him.

Things had started to look up when Yachiru announced that everyone was going to go to the dojo and give Ken-chan his birthday present: an all-out fight with every member of his division. Rather unfortunately, he was quick to find out just how much weaker his subordinates were compared to him. None of them were a match for him, even Ikkaku and Yumichika had barely managed to get him to break out into a sweat.

And so here he was, running through Seireitei, heading towards the captain's dojo and training grounds, hoping to find a fellow captain worth fighting there.

It was when he neared the dojo that he first heard the frustrated grunt.

"Shunsui, stop taking it easy on me already! It was only a coughing fit. I'm not made out of glass!"

"Are, are… isn't someone impatient today? Why not take it slow, draw out and enjoy the ride while it lasts?"

"Shun--" Ukitake's voice was cut off by a grunt, as if Kyouraku had pushed him back in the fight.

Bloodlust rushed through Zaraki's veins as he heard the voices of two of the strongest captains aside from the sotaichou and the gentle fourth division captain.

"Well, well, well, if it ain't my luck day…" he growled under his breath. "Seems like I'm gonna get a good fight after all…"

Making his appearance that much fiercer, a maniac grin stretched across his scarred face as he slammed open the door of the dojo.

"All right ya bastards! Give me a piece of the action! I'll take ya bo--"

He ground to a stop, eye falling on the figure of Kyouraku hunched over Ukitake, their haoris and shihakushōs discarded on the wooden floor besides them, zanpakutous resting on the wall behind them.

The three captains stared at each other, two of them in shocked horror, the other one just caught by surprise. Breaking the silence, Kyouraku smirked up at Zaraki from behind Ukitake.

"Oh? You wanted to join in on the fun?" Zaraki could have sworn he saw him thrust his hips forward on that last word. "I didn't know you--"

"OH. HELL. NO!" The horrified bellow drowned out whatever Kyouraku was about to say, and with one last glance at the pair of them, Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of the self-proclaimed bravest and strongest division in the Gotei 13, turned tail and fled, trailed by Ukitake's mortified groan and Kyouraku's amused laughter.

He had just come back from his fifth trip to the bathroom, eye slightly pink due to the ferocious scrubbing he had subjected it to, when Yachiru popped her pink head into his room and announced that someone had come to celebrate his 'birthday' with him.

"Who is it?"

She flashed him a toothy grin "It's a secret Ken-chan! Now come on!"

Grumbling about how this better not be another surprise, he let her pull him out into the night and onto the veranda behind the dojo, where every member of his division had assembled, looking at him expectedly.

"What?" his voice might have been gruffer than normal, but he wasn't used to all of them staring at him.

"Oh," a carefree voice sounded from behind him. "I believe that they're just waiting for you to take a seat so the party can get started."

He spun around to look at Kyouraku and immediately regretted it as the memory of what he barged in on this afternoon flashed across his mind, making him feel the need to run to the bathroom and scrub his eye out for the sixth time that day.

But unfortunately, his whole squad was watching him, and he had a reputation to uphold. Besides, a pink fuzzball had just jumped on his shoulders.

"Ken-chan, sit! We can't have the party without the birthday boy!"

"Who you calling a boy, ya little goofball!"

"Sit, Ken-chan, sit!"

"Alrigh', alrigh', I'm sitting! Stop bouncing on my shoulder already!"

"Yay!" and with a giggle she leapt off of him and settled on the ground next to him. "Party time!"

Kyouraku held up two gourds of sake. "I brought drinks!"

Sitting down on Zaraki's other side, Kyouraku started to pour the sake.

"To Zaraki Kenpachi! May he have many more years of fighting and endless amounts of sake!"

Nodding his head slightly to all the cheering, Zaraki downed his drink and poured himself another cup.

The moon was already starting its descent, but the party was still going strong and Kyouraku seemed to have a never-ending supply of sake on hand. Zaraki had loosened up considerably, the alcohol cushioning his mind against images of Kyouraku and Ukitake whenever he looked at the pink-clad man.

"Hn…" The 8th division captain was lying on his side, head propped up with one hand, while the other cradled his cup of sake. "I think I was supposed to pass on a message, but I seem to have forgotten it…"

"Oh?" Zaraki was inclined in a similar position, but had long abandoned his cup and was now chugging sake directly from the gourd.

"Mhmm…" The man studied the moon's reflection in his sake. "Oh! Jyuushirou said to give you his apologies for not being able to make it. He had to get ready to leave for his mission in the real world."

"Tch! No need." Another chug from the gourd. "Aren't ya gonna go say goodbye?"

A mischievous gleam entered the black eyes. "What do you think I was doing this afternoon?"

All the alcohol in his system couldn't stop Zaraki from choking on his drink at that moment.

Letting out a hearty laugh, Kyouraku slapped him on the back. "Sorry, just couldn't resist teasing you there."

Subsiding into a grin, he settled back down into his original position and took a sip of his sake before looking back at Zaraki.

"But you know… friends never say goodbye."

Zaraki glanced over at his pink-haired fukutaichou who was curled up in a little ball besides him, the lollipop he had given her earlier clenched in one hand, a bottle of apple juice in the other.

A gentle smile softened the usually harsh lines of his face. "No, I don't suppose they do…"

A/N:

Ukitake: (groans) That was mortifying...

Kyouraku: (grins) Well, at least you weren't the one yelling about wanting "a piece of the action"

Zaraki: (facing the other way so that he's not looking at the two of them) Urusai....

Me: This was supposed to be written and posted all the way back in November for Zaraki's birthday, but I never got around to cleaning it up until today (-_-;;) And for those wondering what Zaraki has to do with ShunUki, this piece was actually written for a friend who is (you guessed it) a ShunUki fan. First time writing UkiShun, actually, first time writing slash. Was an interesting experience. Hope you enjoyed!