Just a quick note: This is my very first fan fiction entry. I've been reading them for quite some time now, and have decided to write one. I would love constructive criticism, but please be gentle! My story ideas aren't for everyone, so if you think that Artemis going to a public high school is a bad idea, then just don't read it.

Holly and other faeries will appear in this story, but not as main characters. I wanted to play around with the idea of Artemis functioning realistically in a "normal" environment. Anyway, I hope you will enjoy it! :)

Artemis Fowl II woke early, home in his bed. He gazed at his ceiling fresco for awhile, contemplating the horrible mess his parents had gotten him into. At his mother's request, they were spending "a couple of years" in the United States, so that Artemis could go to a public day school in New Hampshire. With girls. A year or two ago, this fact would not have even crossed his mind, let alone worried him, but now that puberty had set in, he was obscenely aware of any young, pretty girl in his vicinity, along with the fact that he was, in spite of his tremendous brain capacity, not cool. At all. This worried him. He did not want to be the "geek" as he had seen in so many movies.

With a resigned sigh, he got out of bed, went through his morning rituals, and appeared downstairs in his usual Armani suit and loafers. Butler, who was preparing breakfast (eggs Benedict and French toast), cocked an eyebrow. "Is that what you're wearing to school?"

Artemis was annoyed. "Of course it is. Why else would I be wearing it? And, anyway, what else would I wear?"

"You could wear some of the clothes your parents bought you for school," Butler said, shrugging.

Artemis frowned. "Butler. I would look ridiculous in anything bought by my parents, I assure you."

Butler sighed. "Artemis, I assure you, and I'm only looking out for your best interests, here; you are going to stick out like a sore thumb in that."

Artemis hesitated."…You really think so?"

"Yes."

He thought it over. He thought about the "geeks" in the movies getting stuffed into trash cans, because bodyguards were not allowed on school grounds.

"I suppose I could wear something a little more age appropriate." He disappeared up the stairs, and returned again just in time for breakfast, wearing a crisp, white button-up shirt tucked into a pair of designer jeans, slung low on his hips, put together with a pair of black and white Chuck Taylors. Butler was impressed. Except for one thing.

"Untuck it."

"But--"

"Just… do it, Artemis. I don't want to see you come home having had your head dunked in a toilet, or stuck in a trash can. " Artemis did it. The effect was tremendous. He looked…cool. Like the lead singer of a garage rock band. "Better," Butler nodded. "Where'd you get the Chucks? You look like one of those rocker boys that Juliet used to watch on MTV."

"Mother saw them in a magazine."

"Ah." They ate quietly. Butler figured Artemis must be dying from nerves, though the boy never even hinted at it. Finally, as Butler held open the door of the Bentley for him, he said, "Don't be nervous. You look cool. The ladies will love you." Before Artemis could respond, he had shut the door and was walking around to the driver's side. The youth decided to let it be, and take the compliment.

They arrived at Jamison High School exactly thirty minutes before classes were to begin, and, as Artemis left the Bentley to make his way to the office, he decided that was not nearly early enough. Kids his age were everywhere. Girls in short denim skirts, with glossy hair and nails congregated together on the steps, and boys in letterman jackets and Abercrombie jeans played football on the lawn. Artemis dodged a particularly sharp toss, and hurried up the steps.

~*~

The woman in the office looked harried and annoyed as Artemis fumbled up to the desk. "Um." Um? he thought. What is wrong with me? He gathered his confidence and plugged on. "My name is Artemis Fowl II, and I'm here for my schedule." It came out like a question. Artemis resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.

The woman glanced up. "Oh, yeah. Um…It's here somewhere…ah! Ok. Here you go, and the student we got to show you around is waiting for you in that chair over there." She pointed behind him at the far wall.

Artemis turned, and his heart dropped. The girl sat in the chair with her legs crossed at the ankles and a slight frown on her face as she studied her manicured nails. She had dark brown hair, pulled into a perfectly messy ponytail, and wore a t-shirt, a vest, fitted jeans…and Chuck Taylors. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

She looked up at him (such brown doe eyes!) and grinned. "Hey! I'm Gabby." She extended her tiny hand, and Artemis took it.

"Artemis Fowl, the Second," he said as he inclined his head. She cocked hers to one side and made a face.

"Ok! Well, let me see your schedule." She extended that teeny little hand again, and Artemis placed his schedule into it this time. As it turned out, they had two classes together: Calculus and English IV. She showed him to his other five: AP Biology (apparently that was the ONLY AP class they offered), Gym (Good God, help me, he thought), Music (for his violin), Spanish, and Health.

~*~

"Well, see you later, Gator!" Gabby, the image of perfection, said as they parted ways at the first class of the day (which, for him, would be AP Biology) and Artemis waved lightly, staring after her.

A voice in his ear said, "She's a total bitch, y'know." Artemis turned.

"Excuse me?" There was a young man standing next to him, surveying him with interest. He wore loose jeans and a white t-shirt under a letterman jacket.

"And, she'll probably never even look at you again. Just sayin'. I mean, I know this because she's my ex-girlfriend. And, she's a bitch. So…don't get your hopes up, kid." He turned and walked into class.

Artemis stood there a second, processing what had just gone on. High school would be a bit more complicated than he thought, if strange people continued to engage him in random conversation like that.