Pairing: Sasuke/Tenten
Genre: Humor/Romance (sort of)
Summary: Affectionate displays between ninjas was a very subtle art, or so she'd heard.


Tenten often wondered why people envisioned her sharing something other than professional courtesies with Hyuga Neji.

Besides being teammates and sharing a mutual respect for their respective fighting abilities, the two had little if nothing in common. Tenten never understood how people misinterpreted their platonic relationship. She couldn't recall a single instance in which they exchanged a moment with romantic overtones. There was nothing sexy about what people considered a kick to the chest or blocking a devastating hit aimed at one's face as some hidden form of affectionate display.

It was because they were ninjas and less prone to show obvious exchanges, she'd heard it said by several sources. She ultimately decided they were unreliable bastards.

Tenten didn't have an exceptional bloodline, extraordinary abilities or a family background shrouded in tragedy that inevitably led to delusions of greatness or vengeance.

She was as ordinary as any civilian by way of appearances. Her looks amounted to dark hair, dark eyes and tanned skin. Nothing special. Normal.

So it was with great curiosity that she wondered why Uchiha Sasuke noticed her in the first place.

As part of their training in the Academy, she didn't remember a time when they had sparred together. Training sessions had mostly been relegated to dodging Neji at close range and using him as target practice when she managed to put some distance between them.

It was nothing to the first encounter she had with the reinstated deserter while he was still on a mission to murder the other person who shared his blood. His forced reappearance was only a minor sidetrack by the looks of it, seeing as Sasuke could annihilate the village if he wanted it.

But on a partly cloudy Tuesday afternoon, she was feeling just a touch suicidal.

Tenten knew it was wrong to provoke him (especially with the limitations on his probation), but she couldn't stop from picking a fight with him less than a week after he'd returned. After putting up with temper tantrums with Neji earlier, it was only natural she lash out at the next male she happened upon. Sadly, her outrage got in the way of common sense, somewhat lowering her survival instincts.

"Get lost," she instructed him, her tone frosty.

He was blocking her view of the sunset on the Academy's rooftop. The fact that it had been her spot first was lost on him. The warning kunai whistling past his ear didn't do much to deter him from the place she desired on the edge of the roof.

"I don't fight girls," he told her.

Her jaw clenched.

Fingers curled into her palm, fists tightening.

The urge to destroy embedded itself in her bones, cementing her to a territory of black shingles and tar.

"I don't fight pretty faces," she spat, her body automatically taking a fighting stance. "Usually."

Her vision clouded in a haze of fury, she didn't remember who threw the first punch (she had the sneaking suspicion it was her), only that she was the one who tackled him off the roof of the Academy after the initial scuffle turned into an all-out brawl. She forgot to pull out any other weapons after the first kunai had split the ends of his hair from his scalp and instead relished the feel of her fist in his face.

She charged blindly onward, not really paying attention to anything other than the surging adrenaline pulsing in her veins. It didn't cross her mind that she was plunging to her death—only that the feeling of weightlessness in the five-second freefall toward the ground was oddly liberating.

And while they ultimately landed in a thorny bush, she clearly remembered Sasuke taking most of the impact while she'd somehow ended up straddling his waist when the feeling in her pit of her stomach ended. While the ride down appeared to be over, the roller coaster from hell was just beginning for her.

Her muscles were rigid as she considered carefully what she had just done. One Uchiha was furious and within rightful reason. Too afraid to look down at her unintended victim, she began imagining her short future if anyone found out. And the first ones lined up to rip out her vital organs were going to be Sakura and Ino, no doubt. Possessiveness was a powerful emotion and she wondered just how angry Konoha's female population was going to be. A sneak peek from the corner of her eye told her she'd probably been a tad overzealous in defending her territory. She noted the impression her knuckles had made on his cheek, slowly darkening under his eye and making him appear far more sinister than town rumors suggested.

Perhaps it was bad timing on her part that she'd initiated this quasi-competition or that he was a sore loser. Either way, her initial euphoria was overshadowed by the knowledge she was in deep shit. Thoughts of securing her beloved sunset view dissipated instantly. He was too winded to really move or protest when she extricated herself none too gracefully, chalking up another hit in her favor when she accidentally kicked his arm. She ran like hell that even after being well out of breath and exhaustion rendered her legs useless and somehow found untapped reserves of cowardice to keep going in a circuitous route to avoid his detection.

Unbeknownst to her, she has bested her teammate Rock Lee's record of running around Konoha's borders 20 times in less than 9 minutes.

She felt safe only after locking herself in her room and sought shelter in the cramped closet while contemplating what she had just done. She'd just picked a fight with Uchiha Sasuke and lived to tell about it. Well, not for long, she figured.

Her teammates eyed her strangely when she ducked for cover at the sound of a twig snapping under Lee's foot. If they saw her eye twitch, they didn't mention it, believing that the occupational hazards of being a shinobi had finally caught up to her. Everyone was bound to having a breakdown of sorts and chalked up her experience as one. They'd noted how other kunoichi had manifested their symptoms through what seemed to be an extended PMS-syndrome that made them especially sensitive to bouts of crying and anger (sometimes brought on by occasional cracks about weight gain).

"Someone wants to kill me," she explained while holding herself in an upright fetal position and rocked herself.

Rather than comfort or reassurance, Lee and Neji merely shrugged. All in a day's work, they'd told her, which was the usual for them, anyway.

They didn't think her irrational fear of dying was cause for paranoia. She was one of Konoha's bravest and skilled kunoichi, for goodness sake.

The nervous looks she threw in all directions upon leaving the training grounds garnered more puzzling looks from random strangers. She expected to hear the same word when she walked out of the training ground. Sasuke didn't fail her.

She was partly right relying on the hunch that her lifespan had being considerably shortened. Sasuke found her outside of Team Nine's training grounds easily. One word should have sent her trembling in fear.

"Rematch."

But the tone of his voice was just a little too reminiscent of another certain genius. She suddenly felt exceptionally pigheaded after hearing another incomprehensive rant about fate from Neji (did he ever shut up?) when she didn't completely dodge a hit to the ribs. Trust him to ruin her otherwise sound judgment and chase away a healthy respect for life (and fear of death).

"You're fated to lose your entire life if you do not concentrate," Neji had told her earlier.

She stood up as straight as possible in front of Sasuke—arms down her sides and chin cocked upward when she accepted. The arrogant stance helped push away the bruising ache in her side. He watched her bristle around the edges as she stalked toward an ominous forest and a possible early death.

Tenten tried to breathe as she neared the last steps out of the safety of her beloved village.

It was not her fault, she reasoned. She bid a final farewell to the stone bench, sliding her fingers momentarily on sun-warmed concrete just before stepping out of the walls. Tears might have formed, but indignation and rage did not let her eyes function properly as equal parts of accumulating despair and anger grew exponentially, blocking out what should have been flashes of better days and happy memories.

Things were going to take a turn for the worst, she knew. And with the threatening sky that matched her mood, it seemed like the best idea at the time. If Sasuke wanted pain, she'd give it to him—lighting or not.

He didn't give her time to react properly once she stepped into the clearing.

She'd somehow managed to dodge his opening moves and sought distance. The setting favored her long range style, as she aimed a small arsenal of pointy weapons at him—shuriken, kunai, senbon. Sharp metal rained around him, with some marking a direct hit on the sleeves of his shirt, pinning him for a moment into the bark of an old pine.

In the split second it took him to remove a kunai and two senbon, a shuriken stabbed him above the elbow.

As a small trickle of blood flowed from the shallow cut and stained through the shirt, he realized she was good. Too good, perhaps.

It was over before he could say he really enjoyed it. When he looked up in her direction, she was gone.

She was a better sparring partner than Naruto, he admitted.

For a second day in a row, Tenten broke her previous speed record and wound up in her closet, hugging her knees to her chest and muttering incoherently to herself. Fear induced catatonia had set in by that point and she didn't dare leave the safety of that enclosed space until the next morning.

When one Hyuga Neji went to check up on her after she failed to arrive to practice on time, he didn't think he would learn firsthand about how stealthy she seemed to become overnight. Her apartment appeared vacant and when he cracked the door of the hallway closet open, she hissed like a rabid cat and lunged at him. Her inhuman speed at that moment didn't allow him to notice what she was doing until the taste of a sweaty, dirty sock invaded his mouth.

If she was going to die by the hand of Konoha's prodigal son and number one threat, she figured that avenging her honor was her priority against the idiot who had placed her in harm's way. In doing so, Tenten had achieved a feat no one except S-class criminals had attempted— pissing off two geniuses at once. Needless to say, if anyone found out about the new incident she was solely implicated, any chances of an engagement (in the eyes of the town) with the Hyuga were ruined.

"You and your big fucking mouth!" she yelled as she assaulted him with open hands, flailing her arms at him. Her most girly of attacks did not let him defend very well at all, even after spitting out a day-old gym sock and being chased outdoors.

She felt vindicated that he did not fight back. Neji believed his teammate to be possessed by an evil spirit to turn her into such a crazy ass banshee.

Forced to take precautions when leaving the safety of her apartment, she henged into the corner hobo, complete with a black hooded sweater under the steady August sun beating sweat out of her pores.

Surprisingly, Neji did not arrive for sparring practice, sending word instead of being sick.

And then she heard it.

"Rematch."

She whirled around, facing him with unexpected candidness.

"Holy shit," she swore, willing her stuttering heart to calm under the stress.

He raised a perfect eyebrow.

"Forest," he told her instead, ignoring her outburst. "Same place."

And with that, Sasuke made his exit and waited for her.

Tenten's knees were dangerously unstable and for different reasons than the typical teenage girl who fantasized about him in the shower. Dazed, she made her way toward him, unsure of why she was following his trail to her impending demise.

She had to explain. Especially since she'd never specified her funeral arrangements and didn't want to be mourned as an idiot daredevil for taking on Sasuke.

Along the way, she caught an inadvertent smile from Uzumaki Naruto, who slurped away happily at the largest bowl of ramen Ichiraku had to offer. Seeing him awakened a murderous rage in her. If Naruto had never brought back Sasuke, she would have never gotten into this mess. She scowled deeply when he happened to look up at her with a smile and wave. Quickly, Naruto's hand dropped, his face suddenly blank when he noticed the dark look in her eyes, reminding him of prisoners after being interrogated by Ibiki.

She saw Hyuga Hinata and her younger sister Hanabi in the marketplace, searching among the shops. Tenten unexpectedly frowned at them both, cursing their cousin for being the catalyst of her shortened lifespan. Trust the village geniuses to get her in surefire messes with their overinflated egos. For having some of the best eyesight in town, both sisters missed the menacing glare she directed toward them.

She was fated to die today. Stupid Neji and his stupid, long winded speeches.

The snail's pace at which she trudged her feet became a slow march, her feet picking up a few inches from the ground as she continued onward.

Haruno Sakura bumped into her shoulder as she neared the western wall. Tenten scowled at the medic nin as the girl browsed a fruit cart, abhorring the way she had pined over the boy who waited in the dark part of the forest. If only the girl had stopped longing for the missing third of Team Seven and not added both motivation and guilt for Naruto to return Sasuke in one piece…or at all.

If only Sakura had paid more attention to Lee's advances and dated him earlier...much, much earlier (like when they'd first met at the Academy).

As Sakura paid the vendor for a plum, the coins fell out of her purse. As she stooped down to collect them, she barely caught a glimpse of Tenten passing by.

Damn pretty boy. What the hell did anyone see in him, anyway? Of their collective enemies, none of them had been good-looking. Gaara had the sense to look the part of a proper villain with demon eyes and the strength to back up any threats when he attacked the village during the first chuunin exams. Despite thinking herself attractive, Temari could send anyone running to the hills with the stubble on her legs when she neglected to shave, Tenten thought vindictively. Orochimaru was one outright creepy bastard and she lacked the imagination to figure out why Sasuke had joined him in the first place.

Tenten tried to breathe as she neared the last steps out of the safety of her beloved village.

It was not her fault, she reasoned.

Her hand lingered along the rough texture of the stone fitted wall. Her forehead rested lightly over knuckles wrapped lightly in gauze.

With a single deep breath, she didn't feel regrets for her past behavior in the past few days. Except for picking on Sasuke for no apparent reason other than having her last nerve worked by her teammate that led to her ordinarily calm nature being eroded by the same recycled proclamations of greatness. It was no wonder she'd grown exasperated, seeing as it was only a matter of time until she snapped.

She resolved to move forward and face the consequences alone, like any responsible (and somewhat illogical) person.

Then, a blur of orange raced past her, the familiar voice booming ahead of her.

"For crying out loud Sasuke, quit scaring the girl!" she heard Naruto's voice echo between the trees. "Ask her out on a date already like a normal person."

Tenten choked.

It was a good day to die, she figured. But perhaps Naruto would be the one taking her place after all.

"When I said you should find something in common with the girl you're interested in, I didn't mean scaring her into a fight."

She didn't believe his words until she finally caught up and saw the fierce blush erupting all over Sasuke's face.

Tenten fainted from the sight.

"I told you so," Naruto whined.