Bottom of the Ocean

swinglifeawayxx

REVIEW REPLIES!!!!!!!!

I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, even though there were a lot less than when this story was originally posted. Please, please review this second part. It's way more important than the first part.

I'd especially like to thank:

Melissa (anonymous reviewer), for telling me that she'd read this story no matter how many times it gets reposted,

missinginimagination, for being wonderful and one of my best friends on fanfiction, as well as for calling this story epic, and

Sleeping to Dream About You, for leaving a long, super sweet and wonderfully rambling review, as she always does.

I love you all.

BRIENNE: I love you!...and I left the "Ocean on Earth" line in here just for you.

Summary: Miley is struggling through all the the photo scandals and rumors, seeing fans turn on her and interviews where Joe and Kevin stand up for her, but never Nick. She sees everyone again for the first time at the Disney Channel Games and tries to let go. NILEY.

Disclaimer: I own no part of Disney, the Disney Stars or the song "Bottom of the Ocean" by Miley Cyrus. Obviously.

Authors Note: Please read the note at the bottom for a little perspective. This story meant a lot to me.

Part Two

"Thank ya'll so much!" I yelled into the microphone, taking one final bow. I flipped my long curls back as I stood up straight, just looking out over the crowd, taking in the screaming and adoring fans. My eyes once again caught sight of the "My prayers are with you!" sign, and I smiled - I didn't deserve everything they did for me. The sight of thousands of excited fans never got old. Never.

Blowing one last kiss and waving goodbye, I ran happily offstage, only to be engulfed in a giant Disney Family group hug. I was squashed between Mitchel and Joe, who had been the first to wrap me up in their arms. We all jumped up and down,screaming our heads off - hey, we had just finished the biggest collaborative show of the year! I looked to my left and saw Demi and Jordan Pruitt hugging, and to my right, catching a glimpse of Kevin picking up a squealing Adrienne Bailon. The adults and stage crew were on the outskirts, exchanging pleasant handshakes and high-fives.

After about five minutes of ridiculously happy hugging, I ended up thrown over Jason Earles' shoulder, seriously dizzy from all the jumping and spinning.

"Alright, time to put Miley down," I yelled, struggling slightly. He got the point, maneuvering carefully through the throng and putting me down on the outskirts of the chaos.

"Great job, 'lil sis'!" he said, ruffling my hair.

"Wow, you're a cheeseball," I commented, walking backwards towards my dressing room. The sandy-blonde actor stuck his tongue out at me before going over to talk to Sabrina Bryan, who was alone on the other side of the backstage area. Giggling to myself, I began to turn around to go get changed, when

BAM!

I smacked into something, or someone, and began to fall. I closed my eyes, preparing to slam into the hard ground, but a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and back, catching me in time. I looked up into the face of my so-called savior and my eyes widened, my body freezing as I got trapped in his intent gaze. One guess on who it was.

Yes, that's right, it had to be him. Him of all people.

Quickly breaking out of my trance, I leaped away from him, nearly falling again in the process. His hands dropped poignantly to his sides as his eyes broke away from mine.

"Thank you," I said stiffly, before brushing past him to my dressing room.

I could have sworn I heard a whispered, "You're welcome, Miley," as I hurriedly walked away.

"No, Joseph," I glared, crossing my arms in front of me. "Uh-uh."

"Please, Miles?" he begged. "It's an open mic! C'mon!"

"Nope."

We were at the Disney Channel Games after-party, a loud, raucous, fun event held for the Disney Teens by the Corporation. It was their way of saying thank you for keeping their empire rolling, I guess. People were milling about, some dancing, some eating, some playing DDR and Guitar Hero in one corner. And right in the front, was an open microphone and stage where we were supposed to "unveil our newest creations," or something like that. The Jonas Brothers had already played "Got Me Going Crazy" for everyone (I only made it through that performance by keeping my eyes strictly on Kevin and Joe), Demi had performed "Until You're Mine," and Jordan had unveiled a new song of hers. Now everyone was waiting for the next performer, and guess who was being bullied into it? Me, of course, by my lovely best friends.

"Please, Miles," Mitchel begged, pouting.

"Yeah, please Miles," Kevin and Joe repeated, pouting as well, though I could see they were desperately trying not to laugh.

"I, uh, don't have anything new written," I lied quickly.

"Bullshit," Mitchel said, smirking. "You're always writing down random song ideas."

"Well, um, I...I...I don't have an acoustic guitar!" I exclaimed, smiling triumphantly.

"You can use mine," Kevin cut in immediately, wiping the smile off of my face. I looked at their smug grins, my shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Fine," I sighed. "Fine."

Before I could change my mind, Joe and Mitchel grabbed my arms while Kevin grabbed a stool and his guitar. They dragged me to the stage, sat me down on the stool, and thrust the guitar into my hands. Joe leaned into the microphone and said, "Give it up for the lovely, talented, Miss Miley Ray Cyrus!"

Everyone turned their attention to the stage as Joe jumped off, some looking shocked as they saw me with a guitar on my lap.

"Um, hey everyone," I mumbled into the microphone, balancing the beautiful black guitar on my lap. I reached forward and lowered the microphone to the right height on the stand. "I know you've probably never seen me play before, but I've been writing my own music since I was ten." I saw Selena throw Demi a skeptical look, and in turn saw Mitchel glaring at the back of her head. Stifling a giggle, I went on. "This is a song that I wrote over the past couple of days, and it means a lot to me, so here is 'Bottom of the Ocean.'"

Avoiding everyone's penetrating gazes, I pulled the spare guitar pick out of it's holder on the back of the neck, took a shaky breath, and began to strum. This was the rough, original version of the song, just me and the guitar, no crappy techno beats. More soul. The words flowed from my mouth.

"It's been in the past for a while,

I get a flash, and I smile,

Am I crazy?

Still miss you, baby," I sang.

"It was real, it was right,

but it burned too hot to survive.

All that's left is all these ashes."

I looked out over the small crowd of my fellow Disney stars, most of them looking surprised. I knew what they were thinking. 'Isn't she a fake, no-talent wannabe? Isn't her music supposed to be pop crap?' I didn't blame them.

"Where does the love go?

I don't know, when it's all said and done.

How could I be losing you forever,

after all the time we spent together?

I have to know why I had to lose you,

now you've just become

like everything I'll never find again,

at the bottom of the ocean."

My eyes swept over the crowd again, taking in their awestruck expressions, and I was horrified to feel tears burning in my eyes. This is what I'd been afraid of, the reason I didn't want to perform. It was raw, an open wound in saltwater. It was a burning fire you couldn't put out. I continued strumming, just some filler chords to get me through to the next verse while I calmed down. I caught Joe's eye; he looked torn between horror, sympathy, and pride. Horrified that he'd made me do this, that I was hurting this much. Sympathetic because he was close to the thing that caused me all this pain. Proud because I was still sitting up here, letting everything out. I pushed back the tears as best I could as I got into the second verse. People had begun to dance, most with their eyes still on me. I took another breath and continued.

"In a dream,

You appeared,

For a while,

you were here,

So I keep sleeping,

just to keep you with me,

I draw a map, connect the dots,

with all the memories that I've got,

what I'm missing,

I keep reliving,

Where does..."

The song flowed on as I closed my eyes, really pouring everything I had into it. This was everything. The way I felt about him, the way he'd killed me, the way he haunted everything I did. I hoped he was listening, and listening hard. Part of me wanted this to hurt him, to rip deep into his heart. Then the other part wanted me to stop singing, to never cause him pain, because he was just too perfect for that.

Writing this song had nearly killed me - letting all of this out was probably the hardest thing done in my entire life. But it was even worse performing it to a group of people who most likely all knew what it was about, and most likely believed I was at fault. So why do it you ask? Simple: I had to. I had to do something to erase this empty, lifeless me. I had to let go of this shell of a person who curled up crying in her bed everytime she saw something that's a reminder of the past. I had to flush away all of the sympathy and pity and dependence on other people. I just had to tie myself down and sink to the bottom of my ocean. Release it all in the sand, let the waves carry it away.

Surprising myself, I let words that were not planned fall from my lips.

"This is it," I spoke, more to myself than anyone else. "Let go. Breathe."

That's when I saw it.

...

Him.

...

With her in his arms.

The words kept pouring out of me, though the world felt like it had stopped.

And then, at the perfect part, our eyes locked.

Blue on brown.

Ocean on Earth.

"You don't have to love me for me to baby ever understand,

Just know I loved the time that we both had,

And I don't ever wanna see you sad,

Be happy."

My eyes filled with shining tears, blurring the image of them. Blurring him, his chin resting gently on the top of her head, his arms wound around her waist. Blurring her, happy and triumphant, her thin arms holding him as close as possible, knowing she had stolen him away. One tear slid over my eyelashes, down my cheek, burning on the trail it left behind. Just like he had.

"And I don't wanna hold you if you don't wanna tell me you love me, babe,

Just know I'm gonna have to walk away,

I'll be big enough for both of us to say,

Be happy."

The tears fell one by one, splashing onto the sleek, dark wood of the guitar. I could feel their gazes cutting through me. I could almost hear Joe's apology watching his little sister fall apart. I could feel my heart screaming and clawing and writhing in my chest, torn to shreds by the harsh realities of life. Real life isn't a fairytale, and I knew as well as he did that things would never be the same.

I would never be the same.

As my fingers flew across the cold strings, and the final chords rang through the room, I whispered those two words. Meant for him, heard by everyone.

"Be happy."

Alright, that's it. My first Niley that doesn't have a happy ending. This didn't turn out the way I planned, it was originally a happily ever after. But I'm starting to figure out that no matter how much we want it to be, life isn't like that.I've never cried writing a story before, but I was close with this. This is just the way Miley must feel (in my mind). Ripped to shreds, needing to find her way back to herself.

That was the original author's note. All I have to say now, is that Miley has gone through more hurt and many more attacks since I originally wrote this oneshot, but I still believe it illustrates how she struggles. Everything can be going wrong for her, and she is still a selfless, giving, loving person. She is strong.

Let me know what you have to say.