"The Talk" with Edward and Renesmee

First Kiss/Jacob

RPOV

I had never felt so euphoric. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, and I felt affection wash over me as my Jacob laughed openly next to me. Okay, we'll, technically not my Jacob. Or at least, not yet. I was finally old enough to date him and I felt like we were just moving past the friend stage. I could tell by the look in his eyes when he looked at me that he thought we belonged together. We were walking through the woods, coming up on my house, but I walked slowly so we could have more time together.

"Oh my God!" I said through the light tears of my laughter. "I had such a great time tonight." I said after a few seconds of calming. I didn't want to seem like a manic by laughing too long. We had stopped in front of my house. Jacob's eyes were abruptly serious, but still soft.

"I did too, Nessie." He smiled.

"Jake, I'm sixteen now. I am old enough to be called Renesmee." I pouted.

"That may be, but to me, you'll always be my little Nessie." My heart fluttered as he softly stroked my hair.

"And you'll always be my dog, Jacob." He laughed, and then the smile faded into a look of longing.

It happened very fast.

He leaned over and gently, yet abruptly, touched his soft lips to mine. They felt like fire, and I suddenly felt the longing for him that I had seen in his eyes. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back with the force of a full vampire. His hands went to both sides of my face. The heat was overwhelming. My lips parted ever so slightly, when I heard a sound that startled me. It sounded like footsteps in the living room. Angry footsteps. Disappointed, I pulled away from Jacob.

"My dad is going to come out to get me any second now. I have to go." Jacob understood. He had felt the wrath of my father. Once more, I lightly pressed my lips to his and sighed, and then I turned away and walked to the door. As much as it pained me, I cleared the thought of the kiss out of my mind as I opened the door and walked in. Dad was standing almost directly in front of me, which made me jump.

"You're late." He said simply.

"I'm sorry. It's Jacob's fault." He asked for no more. He had always seemed too quick to blame Jacob for everything.

"Figures. So, did you have a nice time?" I gulped.

"Yes." I couldn't seem to clear my head, so I filled it with random thoughts.

E=MC²...Carson city is the capital of Nevada…George Washington was the first President…random mathematical thoughts…blood…squirrel…vampire bat …supercalifragilisticexpialidocious…"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me".

Unfortunately, dad saw right through it.

"Renesmee Cullen, what are you hiding?"His voice was suspicious. Before I could stop it, a brief image of the kiss flashed in my mind. Shock crossed my father's face.

"What was that…?" I went back to my random thoughts.

"Bye bye Birdie"…"Officer Krupke, you're really a square…" "Da-na-na-na-na-na-BATMAN!"… "You get the best of both worlds"…

"NOT THAT!" He covered his ears as he blocked me out. Abruptly, he grabbed my hand and put it to his cheek. All I could think was how cold it was in comparison to Jacob's warmth during the kiss.

"Renesmee…Cullen…what…did…I…just…see??" As I opened my mouth to explain, my thoughts betrayed me again. But luckily, mom walked in at that moment.

"Hey sweetie!" She bent down to kiss both of my cheeks. "Did you have a good time with Jacob?" I could have sworn I saw her wink.

"Oh she had a good time." Dad spoke through his hands, which he had over his face in shock.

"What's wrong?" She rushed over to him, a worried look in her eyes.

"That…mongrel…"Was all he could manage.

"What? Tell me, Edward!" She shook him a little bit, as if the answer would fall out of him.

"My…daughter…Jacob…he….he…"

"HE WHAT?!"

"THAT MONGREL PLANTED ONE ON MY PRECIOUS BABY DAUGHTER!" He jumped up and threw his hands in the air, then sank back down, awed by the words.

"FINALLY! Oh honey!" Mom smiled and hugged me as if she were proud. "I thought he never would!"

"WHAT?? FINALLY??? WHY DID NO ONE WARN ME ABOUT THIS?!?!" His full anger frightened me, but mom stood perfectly unfazed.

"Well, because you are the father, Edward, and the father is traditionally out of the loop. And trust me; you are WAY out of the loop. You are so out of the loop you don't even know about the lingerie!"

"What lingerie??"

"Never mind." She said. I stifled a giggle. Dad said nothing. He stormed out of the room, mumbling things like "my daughter…I'll kill him…a slow death."

Persuasion

BPOV

"Don't worry about him. Just go to your room for a bit, it'll be better if he can't hear your thoughts." Obediently, Renesmee turned and skipped away, blushing slightly from what I could only assume to be thoughts about her first kiss. I smiled. I knew from experience that it was something to think about. Slowly, I walked into to our room to find Edward sitting on the bed with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. I sat down and rubbed his shoulder consolingly. He didn't look up for a moment.

"In China they eat dog meat, you know." He said under his breath.

"EDWARD!"

"What? It's a known fact!"

"You can't possibly be thinking about killing Jacob." I pulled away for a moment and looked in his eyes.

"What am I supposed to do, Bella? He kissed my daughter. I'm not just going to SIT HERE!" His voice rose until he was shouting again.

"Calm down Edward." I watched as he composed himself. "You knew this was going to happen eventually."

"Actually…I didn't." He sounded like he was admitting some kind of weakness.

"What do you mean you didn't? Do you not understand the imprinting concept?" He shook his head slowly.

"Well that's just it. I had kind of hoped that it would sort of…reverse itself after a while."

"You what?? You can't be serious! You thought Jacob could unimprinton our daughter?" Without thinking, I burst out laughing. He looked up at me, irritated.

"Do you think my pain is funny?"

"No it's just…I never thought I would see you as a worried father. It is kind of funny." His frown faded and my favorite crooked smile broke across his face.

"I suppose. But what do we do?" Edward's head fell back into his hands.

"Well…" I began. "I've been thinking about this for a while and I think…"

"Yes?" He looked deeply into my eyes, willing me to proceed.

"Edward…I think it's time…"

"To kill Jacob?" He asked eagerly. "I thought you'd never ask!" He stood up but I pulled him back down.

"No Edward…I think it's time we had…The Talk." I looked down as I said it, afraid of his expression.

"Bella, you don't need an explanation. We've done it before, remember?" He looked as if he were speaking to an infant.

"Not you and me Edward. With Renesmee." I mimicked his look.

"Oh." A laugh that I could only describe as awkward escaped his lips. "Let me know how that works out."

"Actually Edward…I was thinking maybe…you could do it?" Trying for my most innocent look, I blinked my eyes at him. I had thought about this and realized that I honestly didn't know how to explain it. I mean sure Edward and me…but even then it was just…not something I could describe to another person. Especially my own daughter.

"ME? No, I prefer not to discuss those topics with my precious baby."

"She's not a baby Edward."

"She technically is."

"Well, you said yourself that you are out of the loop. This would be a perfect chance to bond with your daughter."

"I'd rather kill the dog."

"Edward, if you threaten to kill Jacob again you will sleep alone until Renesmee has Jacob's puppies." I had the satisfaction of seeing him cringe, but I didn't know if it was at the prospect of sleeping alone or Jacob and Renesmee doing that.

"Bella, you can never make me sleep alone." He raised his eyebrows.

"You know what I mean. And I refuse to give her the talk and you have to do it because you have to learn to talk to your child like a grown-up." I sighed.

"But I don't want to be a grown-up! I'm 110 I can do what I want!" He whined. I'd never seen him so very stubborn. Well, I had once, but I had gotten around that, hence Renesmee. That gave me an idea. I used my vampire powers and gave Edward a look as if I were very innocent.

"Please, Edward." I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"No." I pressed my lips to the corner of his jaw.

"Why not?" I said seductively.

"Because I refuse to let go of my daughter's youth. And I want that dog to keep his paws off her." He crossed his arms. The set of his jaw made me turn up the powers a bit more. Never breaking the trail, I moved my lips up and down his jaw slowly as I could.

"But it's not so bad. You'll just be…" I kissed his cheek. "…teaching her." I could see him visibly trembling. "Don't you want her to be this happy one day?" I moved from his cheek to the corner of his mouth. I could see the fear and stubbornness in his eyes crossing with hunger. A good kind of hunger. The kind that told me I was winning.

"Umm…yes I want her to be happy. But I want Jacob to…um…k-keep his paws off her." I fought to keep my laughter at his weakness inside and kissed the other cheek, slowly, dragging it out as much as possible. He was actually shaking and I could hear a low growl forming in the back of his throat.

"Would Jacob ever hurt our daughter?" I gave him my sexiest look and put the dazzling on full power. He gulped.

"Uh-uh." I very slowly pressed my lips to his. It was apparent that he was fighting to regain composure. He was clearly loosing.

"So you'll do it?" I said between kisses. He was more focus on the kissing than the argument.

"Mmm-hmm." He put his hands on the sides of my face and kissed me passionately. I pulled back slightly, smiling. He had completely forgotten the argument.

"Oh thank you, Edward!" I said as I resumed kissing him.

"Mmm…for what?" He didn't seem to care about the answer as pulled me closer.

"For having the Talk with Renesmee." He pulled back, his face full of confusion.

"WHAT??"

"You just said you'd do it." I pointed out.

"But you…and I were…and then you…dazzling…DAMN IT!" He fell back on the bed in defeat. "Have I mentioned you dazzle me?"

"Frequently." I laughed.

"Fine. But you owe me." He winked as he walked into the living room. "Renesmee, can you come in here for a minute?" I couldn't stop the hysterical laughter that escaped my lips at what was about to happen.

Shock and Awe

EPOV

"Renesmee, can you come in here for a minute?" I said as I sat down on one of the couches in the living room. Millions of conflicting thoughts ran through my head.

Edward, it's no big deal. It's just The Talk. It's not the end of the world; you're not giving her permission or anything. Oh-no. What if she considers this talk permission? What if she realizes that she is old enough to go that far with Jacob? I won't let that happen! CALM DOWN EDWARD! You can do this. You've fought the Volturi, you've saved the love of your life on countless occasions, you've lost your virginity at 106. You are the man. You ARE the man. You have the power. You're good enough, you're smart enough and gall darn it people like you. You can do this. Oh who am I kidding, I can't do this! How do I even start?

Renesmee's sweet high voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Am I in trouble?" I'll have to fabricate an excuse, she thought.

"No, baby." I reassured her. "Of course not. I just wanted to talk." I motioned for her to sit down next to me.

"Okay." She sat down and put her head delicately on my shoulder.

"It's just, with Jacob-" I began.

"Dad, I'm really sorry about Jacob. I didn't try to kiss him, he kissed me! And I-" She looked on the verge of tears. He lied to me! Oh-no, what if he says I can't see Jacob?! I held her to me.

"Calm down, sweetie. I'm not mad at you. Or…" I swallowed. "Him. I just wanted to explain something to you." She nodded once for me to proceed. I cleared my throat and began.

"Well, sweetie, when a man and a woman really love each other, there is a special way that they are together…" I opened my mouth to continue, but she stopped me.

"Dad, are you trying to explain sex to me or something?" HAHAHAHA! He's not serious, is he? She looked at me as if I had gone completely mental. The voices in my head told me I hadn't.

"How do you know about…that?" I couldn't think of any reason why she would already know about sex unless she had…I pushed the thought far away.

"Uncle Emmett told me." She said it as if it was very obvious. I felt actual pain for the first time in many years. Had my I been alive, I would have had a heart attack.

"Uncle…Emmett…told you." Renesmee nodded. In one moment, millions of ways to kill my brother flashed in my brain. All were very painful. "And what exactly did…Uncle Emmett tell you?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Well, he said that sex was a major step in a relationship and it wasn't to be taken lightly." It didn't seem possible. He had actually taken it seriously.

"Anything else?" I asked, actual curiosity took the place of anger.

"He said that it was…the best thing a person could ever do. Like, it felt like you had died and gone to heaven. Like the heat of two people connected-"

"That's enough!" I said too quickly. I could feel actual flames of resentment for my brother filling me to the brim. The only other thing I felt was another slight curiosity.

"How long have you known about this?" I was afraid of the answer.

"About a year. He told me about it on my birthday last year."

"So, you've known for a full year and didn't tell me."

"Uncle Emmett told me not to tell you." She admitted.

"Really?" She nodded slightly. "Renesmee, tomorrow I want you to go to the family's house and say goodbye to Uncle Emmett, okay? He's going far, far away for a while." We sat in silence for a moment. The fire crackling was the only sound. I could hear a question forming in her mind. After about five long minutes, she spoke softly.

"Was he right?"

"About what, Renesmee?" I couldn't hide the exasperation in my voice.

"Is it really like dying and going to heaven?" Without thinking, I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers. This was not going the way I had planned.

"Nessie-"

"Renesmee." She corrected.

"Renesmee," I started again, a slight smile on my lips. "It's really not, Renesmee." If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn her face fell a bit. From the bedroom, Bella growled angrily. I paused and considered my next words. "It's so much better." I smiled as I reminisced about Bella and me.

"Nice save." I heard from the bedroom.

"Really?" Renesmee's face was curious and fascinated and I realized that I had single-handedly painted myself into a corner.

"Really." I replied as I laughed to myself about us. I could see my daughter's chocolate brown eyes fill with questions.

"What was it like for you and mom?" I looked into her eyes and saw that she was genuinely interested. I could hear Bella, waiting for my response in the other room.

"Well…it was different for us…when she was human. I was very careful. But now…" I trailed off suggestively. "…It's so much more perfect now that I can fully appreciate her. But as a half vampire, you should be careful. You don't want to hurt anyone." Images of Bella, covered in large, purple bruises filled my mind, and I felt disgusted with myself for allowing myself to lose control like I did.

"It's okay dad. Jacob heals fast."

"Mmm-hmmm WAIT, WHAT??" My head spun. It hadn't even occurred to me that my daughter…and that dog…would want to…

"You did know this conversation was about Jacob and I, right?" She put her hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOUNG LADY! THERE WILL BE NO LOVE MADE BETWEEN YOU AND JACOB AND THAT'S FINAL!" I stood up and gave her a look so angry that I could see tears pricking at her eyes.

"Dad that's not fair. We're soul mates. Its gonna happen someday." Her words, though sweet and reassuring, were like poison coursing through my veins.

"Not if your mother and I have any say in this. Right, Bella?" I called. Bella stepped closer but remained in the bedroom.

"Edward, I'm siding with Renesmee."

"WHAT??" Was all I could mange.

"Well, Jacob and Renesmee are in love, or they will be. And she said it herself, it's gonna happen someday." This was more than I could handle. My wife and daughter turn against me, my daughter plans to have sex and to top it off, Emmett's murder was going to be very expensive. I'm sure they don't make that model of plane anymore.

"I'm going to bed." I said as I stalked off to the bedroom, passing a giggling Bella on the way.

I lay down on the large white bed, my shirt on the floor, thinking. There had to be some way to make everything better. I felt Bella climb in next to me, her eyes filled with apologies.

"You know we both love you, right Edward?" She kissed my cheek, but not as she had before. It was as if she was trying to convince me she was telling the truth.

"Of course I know that." I took her in my arms and held her as tightly as I possibly could. It still felt good knowing I wouldn't crush her in doing so.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Just think about it, please."

"I'd rather not."

"But you will." Was all she said.

I lay in the bed for another minute, desperately wishing for the first time that I could fall asleep.

A New Side of Edward

JPOV

I opened my eyes slightly, and that feeling of awakening washed over me before I could recapture the dream. It was surely the best dream I had ever had. But that I was all it was. A dream. At least, I was sure it was. Because nothing in reality could have compared to the feeling I had felt when Renesmee's lips were on mine. It was even better than kissing Bella had been, even better than anything had been. It was like I hadn't even been alive until there was Renesmee. And the best thing was...I could tell she had felt the same. I mean, no one could kiss you back like that and not want to, right? RIGHT? No, I thought to myself, she didn't want to kiss you. She needed to kiss you, to the point of longing.

I looked over at the clock beside my bed, shocked to see I had slept a full twelve hours. It was two-thirty pm, and I was planning to meet Renesmee at five. I was just glad I had finally gotten to sleep, since I had stayed up so late thinking about her. Her cool lips, the softness of her skin, the feeling of security when her arms locked around my neck.

I used my time before I had to leave to eat, realizing I was ravenous, and choose what to do about my smell before I left. Renesmee didn't seem to mind, but if she smelled like dog at anytime, her parents would be suspicious. I got the keys to my Rabbit and walked out the door, then put them back and decided to run. Tying my clothes around my legs, I shifted and broke into a run.

Where are you off to in such a hurry? I heard Leah in my mind.

Meeting Renesmee. Jealous?

Of her? I feel sorry for her! Having to kiss you.

I meant that I am going somewhere on a Saturday night and you are stuck all alone. Wait, how'd you know I kissed her?

You've been playing it on endless loop in your mind! Seriously, I feel like I kissed her.

Sorry.

Well, I should have guessed as such, you used to do the same with Bella. Hey, did you notice the Renesmee kisses just like her?

That stopped me in my tracks. I hadn't considered that, but when I remembered seeing Bella kiss Edward, and when she kissed me, I realized that she was right.

I usually am. She said

Get lost, Leah.

Fine by me. And her voice was gone.

When I got within walking distance from the house, I shifted back to human form and put my clothes back on. I made my strides twice as long as they needed to be in an effort to get there faster.

I arrived in about seven minutes and knocked on the door. In swung open to reveal not Renesmee, but Edward Cullen standing in front of me. His arms were crossed and though he smiled, the set of his jaw told me it was forced.

"Hey, Edward! What's up with you? How's the wife? Renesmee did tell you we had a date tonight." It was not a question.

"Of course, she's uh…getting ready. Come in, Jacob." He turned and walked away and settled down into one of the armchairs in the living room.

"Have a seat, Jacob." He gestured to the chair across from him, but I moved over slightly and collapsed on the couch.

"How are things with you, Edward? Bella doing okay? And how's the family? I got a great blonde joke I want to lay on Rose." My attempt to calm the tension was in vein.

"They're all fine. I just wanted to talk to you." His voice was low and the smile on his face had faded.

"'Bout what?" I said casually as I could muster.

"Just you…and Renesmee." His voice was forced, as if he had wanted to say something else. I opened my mouth to respond, but his words came out fast and hard.

"What are your intentions towards my daughter?" His question caught me so off guard I actually fell over on the couch. I propped myself up and began to laugh.

"Haha!! Oh my God, that's a good one, Cullen, you really had me there. Haha-" I was cut off as I looked into his eyes and saw that he was dead serious, no pun intended.

"I'm not joking, Jacob. And I think you know me well enough to know that I don't joke when it comes to my girls and their safety. And I'm sure you wouldn't want me to get angry with you, do you?" He smiled, but it was wicked and full of implications. It was the first time I'd ever thought of him as Renesmee's father. He scared me.

"N-no, sir. I don't want you angry." I gulped.

"Wise choice, pup. Now I'll ask again. What are your intentions towards my daughter?" I knew there was a right answer somewhere in his mind, but he was the mind reader, so I figured I should just tell the truth.

"Well, sir," I choked out. "I do intend to date your daughter and I plan to one day marry her and start a family with her. I love her; I have since before she was born." I finished, hoping to get extra points for mentioning that. He smiled in that weird way he did sometimes, with only one half of his mouth.

"That's great Jacob, but I meant now. Do you two intend to…" He trailed off, but he looked as if he couldn't finish.

"Get down in the backseat of the Rabbit? Hell, yeah!" I laughed, but as I had guessed, he found nothing funny in the comment. "You know I'm just kidding. Of course Renesmee and I will wait until we are married." I folded my arms and sat perfectly still.

"Well that's good; because there's something else I wanted to tell you." Uh-oh, I thought, and he smiled. "As you know, there's never been a half vampire/human-werewolf romance before, and we're concerned about Renesmee's ability to carry children. Carlisle's doing some research, but until we know for sure, I ask that you and Renesmee please-" He swallowed. "When it happens, please use protection." I couldn't believe it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or scream. Edward the Concerned parent was asking Renesmee and me to use condoms!

"I am aware it is a bit of an awkward request," He continued from my thoughts. "But I don't know what will happen to her if she gets…pregnant. Bella almost died. Well, she did die, but…never mind."

*This is a Saturday Night Live reference. I want to see if people get it.

**I'm not sure if that would be his age at this time