Chapter 34 – Time

Rebecca stared blankly into the blurry white surface she was laying beneath, her entire body numb from lying still for such a long time. For the fourth time, she slowly turned her head to glance over at the alarm clock by her bed, amidst the trinkets she'd collected since moving into her apartment. It still said 8:46 AM, meaning that only two minutes had passed since she'd looked at it last. For a moment, she squinted as a few rays of sunlight poked through her curtains. She looked up to see the sun partially hidden behind the palm trees which stood tall above the courtyard they'd been planted in.

As she slowly sat up, the black dress she was wearing brought back the painful memories of the events of the previous day. The dreary, cloudy day that had ended some twelve hours earlier would be hard to forget, even on the sunniest day. Every sound she'd heard, every word she'd spoken, every sight she'd seen, she just wished she could take it all back. Her fingers twitched as she got the sudden urge to run away from everything, escape from it all and just run to him. She wanted to jump into his arms and just hold him tightly, hold him and never let go. Unfortunately, it would mean she'd be running forever, as yesterday had been the day that he had been laid to rest beneath a polished stone bearing his name, identical to his father's stone, overlooking the lily pond amongst the mangrove trees.

As Rebecca slipped numbly back into her bed, the ten days since her arrival back in California was an almost endless stream of painful memories, one right after another. The plane ride back to the states had been a nightmare, as the rough turbulence they'd faced quite a deal of made it practically impossible to sleep. However, during the entire flight, Nora had never left her side. She remembered the first night after it had happened, how neither of them had slept one single moment. They both stayed awake, softly crying in the darkness and praying that it was all just a nightmare. When the story of how they had journeyed half-way around the world and into the war-torn nation of Iraq to find him was all over the news, that only made coping that much more difficult. The fact that eleven civilians, two of whom were children, stormed the barren deserts of one of the most politically unstable regions in the world and defeated a militant group baffled many. Some said the militant group was already weakened, others said that the Walkers just got lucky, but some said it was just a drastic measure a family needed to make for one of their own.

She was constantly exhausted, barely able to function for the first few days. She remembered crumbling into her mom's arms almost the second Holly had first approached her. She'd stayed at her childhood home for a few days, which didn't help things much considering that ever since meeting the Walker Family, she couldn't even look at the house without thinking of William, from whom her thoughts would eventually wander to Justin. The shock had rocked her so badly that eating was even a problem. It must have been something in the desert that did it to her, but for some strange reason everything tasted like rubber. Ever since that moment in the middle of the night, when the surgeon walked into the waiting room. It was at thirteen minutes to midnight that he had died on the operating table, the massive surgery too much of a strain on his heart. The shock had hit Rebecca so hard that she'd thrown up right there in the waiting room.

Rebecca had seen everything unfold right before her eyes. The Walker Family had been devastated by Justin's death in so many ways, more than any of them could even keep count of. Nora had to spend two nights in the hospital, rocked so terribly by the shock. It took enough sedatives to knock out an alligator to get her to finally sleep, and many doctors were worried about her being in that big, empty house all by herself. By the time the first week had passed since returning home, she'd lost almost twenty pounds because her health was so rapidly deteriorating. Luckily, Sarah volunteered to move in with Nora for a short time in order to look after her. Sarah's biggest struggle was facing her children to tell them what had happened. She remembered how Cooper used to love watching Justin play Super Mario Brothers on his old Nintendo. She wondered if he'd ever even touch it again. Paige took her uncle's death much harder than her little brother. She was older and able to understand what had really happened to him, making it hard for her to cope. When she'd first been diagnosed with Diabetes, Justin had played a crucial role in teaching her how to handle the needles, giving herself her insulin, and checking her blood sugar throughout each and every day. Just before moving into her mother's house, Sarah had gotten a call from Joe, learning that Paige had signed up to start taking First Aid courses at the YMCA. She said she wanted to be a medic someday, just like him.

Kitty had opened her heart in the time of mourning as Jadia and Sabriya had nowhere to go to but that orphanage back in that village. She and Robert when through hell-over-water to get them visas to come to the United States, and to begin the adoption process. When Kitty and Robert confronted the two girls on coming to live with them, they both were all too quick to say yes. They'd grown attached to the family very fast, which was a good thing considering what they'd been through. Justin's death had been especially hard for the two girls, because they both felt responsible. They kept thinking to themselves if they had gotten there faster, or been more careful about getting caught, maybe he would still be with them. The first night in their new home, they both sat on the balcony of the guest bedroom which would eventually become the room they would share. They burned a candle and prayed late into the night, and Kitty decided to Join them. While she was praying that night, Kitty reflected back to her days with her radio show, and on The Red, White, and Blue, and found herself deeply regretting having defended the war which cost her brother his life. When Trish heard about Justin, she offered to let them know what the sex of the baby was, if they were hoping to honor him by using his name. Although Kitty and Robert declined, they did keep it in mind. Justin's death was also rather traumatic for Robert, he himself being a fellow veteran. There were nights whereas he'd wake up drenched in sweat after having that nightmare where he'd re-live the helicopter crash he'd been in during the Gulf War. The most traumatic part of the dream was that in the place of the pilot who had died, was Justin.

Tommy was on the verge of a nervous breakdown from the second he and Julia had arrived back home. As the cuts and scrapes, sunburns and strained muscles healed, he sunk into a cone of silence, trying to wrap his head around what had happened. The guilt seemed to be eating him alive. He'd come so close to saving him, to bringing him home, and he blew it. Julia wasn't fairing much better, as the sight of the war had a profound effect on her. In addition to that, she was trying to figure out how to face the obstacle which had driven her to step into the desert in the first place, which was what she'd tell Elizabeth about who had delivered her in that vineyard. Kevin and Scotty were both on the edge, as Kevin had seen Justin go into cardiac arrest when he first started hemorrhaging. Ever since then, Kevin just about jumped right out of his skin at the sound of any loud beeping. Scotty did his best to ward off the reporters and journalists trying to get more on the family's quest, but at the same time was fighting with his own battles. Growing up in Mississippi, Scotty had heard stories of the horrors of the violence seen in the years before the civil rights movement. Although he'd never actually seen any of it, he knew very well how it happened. He never could comprehend that it could get as bad as the violence Justin had endured, never in a million years.

Rebecca talked to them every chance she could, as they did for her. She was once again coming to understand the major advantage of having such a large family, as each was eager and needing to help each other in these times. She truly needed the help, because no matter where she looked, she saw him. She was glad for the time she got to spend with him. The fact that he'd gone from her half-brother to her boyfriend in barely a year still made her laugh, but the humor was bittersweet, just like almost every other good thought she tried to force into her mind. She knew facing reality was part of the healing process, but she just hoped she could do it without going out of her mind.

Despite the tragic circumstances, Justin's landlord was eager to prepare the apartment for a new tenant, so he had constantly been pressuring the Walkers to collect Justin's things. It had escalated to a point whereas he was threatening to throw everything away. Finally, Sarah decided that she would start. Rebecca had offered to help her, and knew that day was not going to be an easy one. After taking a quick shower, Rebecca headed out to meet Sarah. As soon as she stepped onto her mother's front porch, the bright sunlight blinded her for a few seconds, making her momentarily step back into the shadows. After getting into her car, she struggled to get back into the routine of driving. She came close to running a stop sign twice on her trek across Pasadena, and almost rear-ended somebody at the intersection down the street from Justin's old building. As soon as she pulled into the parking lot, she could feel herself tremble slightly before almost going numb from the shock. It was the first time she'd been there since it had happened. When she saw Sarah's SUV parked out front of Justin's apartment door, she felt a bit better knowing she wasn't in this alone. She parked her car next to Sarah's, and once she got out, she slowly began taking steps towards the door of his apartment. Seeing the door was open, as well as a few boxes sitting in the back of Sarah's SUV, she knew his sister must have already gotten started. Rebecca stood hesitantly in the doorway, thinking about whether or not Sarah would want the help at the moment. Shaking off her doubts, she stepped into Justin's small kitchen. The cabinet doors were all open, and the few dishes and cooking utensils he'd collected were all piled into three boxes, sitting in the center of the floor. In one corner, a garbage can filled with old and expired food sat fermenting in the heat, while in another corner a chair sat, with several small boxes stacked on top of it.

Taking a deep breath, Rebecca stepped into the living room, looking for Sarah. This area was hard for her to look through, as a thin layer of dust across everything told her that nothing had been touched since he'd been there last. On the leather sofa, two blankets were twisted together and pushed to the side, where he had slept that night before it had happened. A half-empty can of Pepsi sat on the coffee table between the TV and the couch, along with several gum wrappers. His old pair of canvas sneakers were laying on the floor in front of where she stood, reminding her of their walks on the beaches and in the park. Whenever they could see each other, they most often just went for walks. Whether it be along Long Beach or just to the gas station around the corner, it was just what they did. They'd had some of their best talks during those times. She gently cracked a smile as the memories of him reminded her of some good times. Unfortunately, like many others, the joy was all too soon ended. Kneeling there on the floor, she felt that stabbing pain inside her and she felt like she wanted to cry. But she couldn't cry anymore, as it was almost as if she'd grown numb to the pain.

"He always choose those kinds of sneakers." A voice said from across the room. Rebecca glanced up to see Sarah standing in his bedroom doorway. As she looked, she could see Sarah's haggard face was a sign that Justin's eldest sibling hadn't slept much over the past few nights, not that she could blame her. "He'd just grab 'em and go."

Trying desperately to crack a smile, Rebecca nodded her head. "He did like them."

"He used to say that the average person spends a grand total of thirty days or more over the course of their lives tying shoes, so he used these to kind of save that time." Sarah said, shuffling over to Rebecca's side and gently sitting down next to her. "Every year when we were kids, Mom would buy five or six pairs of them at once for him, because he'd wear them out so fast."

Rebecca remembered the past pairs he'd owned, all in that faded blue color. She never was a big fan of those kinds of shoes, because they gave her blisters. Justin never really seemed to mind that though. He'd keep walking in a pair until they fell apart from beneath his feet, quite literally.

"These sneaks still have a long ways to go on them." Rebecca said humorously, repeating Justin's words. "Heck, I haven't even gotten out the duct tape yet."

Sarah snickered silently, but only for a moment or two. Before long, the two women found themselves trapped in the silence of his musty apartment. All over the place, there were things still where he had last left them, and it was very painful to remove them.

"I'm really going to miss him." Sarah muttered, lowering her head for a brief moment and resting her forehead in the palm of her hand.

Rebecca said nothing, although she wanted to. After another moment of silence, Sarah glanced at Rebecca's hand, seeing the ring still on her finger. After another moment or two, a gentle nod and a weak smile from Sarah reminded Rebecca of the change she had brought out in Justin.

"How's your mom doing?" Rebecca asked softly.

"She hasn't been out of her room in two days." Sarah responded. "I've never seen her this bad before."

Rebecca nodded, understanding Nora's grief. "How are you doing?"

"To be honest, it doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would." Sarah said, surprising Rebecca to a point whereas she was almost completely snapped out of the daze she'd been stuck in.

"Don't get me wrong, but it just feels different than I thought it would have." Sarah sighed, crossing her arms as she sat on the floor. Rebecca looked at her curiously, trying to understand Sarah's reasoning. Understanding the confusion, Sarah tried to explain.

"I think it might be knowing the fact that he finally made it gives me some peace of mind." Sarah said in the same soft voice. "Trust me, If you'd seen the way he was before, you'd probably understand."

Rebecca nodded, knowing of Justin's rough times.

"You know what really tipped the scale for me?" Sarah stated. "When I saw them in the hospital, even though he was hurt so bad, he was smiling. He was actually smiling."

Cracking a weak smile, Rebecca thought of Justin's sleek grin, which when done at the right moments made her weak in the knees. She remembered when he'd hold her as they sat on that park bench atop that hill, overlooking the city. They'd go up there late at night and look at the stars, out where the purple hue from the city lights wasn't as strong. She'd rest her head on his shoulder and they'd be out there until two o'clock in the morning, just talking and holding each other.

"You gave him that, you know." Sarah said, catching Rebecca's attention. "He could smile again because of you."

Rebecca struggled to crack a smile again, but just looked to the floor nervously as she did so.

"I know I've probably told you that a few dozen times, but it's the truth." Sarah stated. "You brought him back to life."

Rebecca nodded her head slightly, lifting her hand to gently wipe the tears from her eyes. The song Travellin' Soldier by the Dixie Chicks had been stuck in her head ever since it had happened. The line that stuck in the most was "I cried, never gonna hold the hand of another guy."

"You will go on, Rebecca." Sarah sighed. "We all will, in due time."

Nodding her head again, Rebecca glanced through the doorway into Justin's bedroom. Amidst the stacks of sheets and blankets, a rather interesting object caught her attention.

"Sarah, what's that?" Rebecca asked.

"What's what?" Sarah responded.

"That box on the bed."

"Oh, that's something I found in his trunk in the closet." Sarah responded, glancing at the black metal box. "Don't know what's in it, it's locked."

Rebecca held her breath as she looked at Sarah. She glanced back at the box, and when she saw there was a dial combination on the latch, she slowly rose to her feet.

"Rebecca?"

"I know how to open it." Rebecca said, crossing into the bedroom and stopping at the foot of the bed. She immediately remembered that sequence of numbers Justin had told her when she saw the combination consisted of seven numbers. As she picked up the box, which felt as if it weighed about ten or fifteen pounds, and stood in silence for a moment.

"Rebecca?" Sarah asked from behind her. "Do you know what that box is?"

"No." Rebecca responded. "I just know how to open it."

"What?" Sarah asked in a whisper as Rebecca slowly rolled each of the seven brass scrolls in the lock into alignment until they read the same number he'd told her. Her heart jumped when she heard the lock click. Sarah stepped to Rebecca's side as Rebecca flipped open the locks and slowly opened the cover. She paused for a moment, recoiling at the fact that whatever was in that box, had been last touched by him. She slowly sat down on the bed, as did Sarah, both of them gazing at the ruffled brown paper concealing the object within the box. Rebecca carefully pushed the paper aside to reveal what looked like an old photo album. Rebecca turned to Sarah when she heard her gasp.

"That was our Dad's." Sarah said, gently stroking her hand over the dark brown leather cover. "I can't believe he kept it."

"I'm guessing there's a story to this?" Rebecca asked. Sarah nodded.

"When Dad was away at war in Korea, he took this old leather photo album with him that had pictures and stuff reminding him of what was important in his life. His friends, his home, his hobbies, and Mom. Even after the war ended and he came home he kept it and actually kept adding to it. He'd always catch Justin looking through it, and he thought it might be a good idea if Justin had one of his own."

"Ah, I see." Rebecca said softly. "That must have been a good idea."

"Well, not always." Sarah sighed. "Every time Justin slipped into one of his downward spirals, he'd burn all the pages and try to start over. After so many times, I thought he'd given up on that by now."

After barely a moment's pause, Rebecca gently lifted the front cover of the album open, not prepared for what was inside. She flinched for a second, as if wanting to close her eyes out of the fear of once again facing the fact that he was really gone. The pause lasted for one second, then another, and then another. After about thirteen of them, Rebecca trembled slightly as she thought to herself. "I have to see him."

She forced herself to look at the first page, and found herself looking at his acceptance letter into medical school. He hadn't taped it to one of the album pages yet, as it was only laying loosely under the front cover. Once she moved it out of the way, she found herself looking at a solid page of what looked like dozens-even hundreds of words that had been clipped out of newspapers and magazines. Surfing, Run, Climbing, Breathe, Color, Live, and many more.

"Inspiration." Rebecca sighed. "I did a project like this in high school and I showed it to him once." As she and Sarah glanced over the collage, they almost didn't notice the drawing in blue sharpie on the faded sheet of notebook paper. When it first caught Sarah's eye, Rebecca saw immediately that subtle spark in her eyes, that triggering of a memory.

"My God." Sarah gasped, reaching for the sheet of paper. "He really was a pack rat."

After a small snicker, Rebecca looked curiously at the sheet of paper they had found.

"Is that a map?" Rebecca asked.

"Yep." Sarah responded. "The beach at Ojai."

"Was there something particularly interesting about this beach?"

"Well, it's really secluded, hardly anybody ever goes out there." Sarah explained, pointing out the landmarks Justin had drawn into this map. "When we were kids, we'd all sneak out there with our Dad every summer and go surfing. There were just the best waves there."

Waves….Waves…..Waves…..

That word resonated in Rebecca's mind for a moment, bringing her back to the last time she saw Justin alive. As painful as it was, the memory came back to her full and clear. He said he wanted her to catch a wave for him.

Ojai was a good two hours outside of Los Angeles, up the coast towards the north. The interstate soon gave way to county roads and private drives, winding through the hills of the countryside. The sunlight periodically broke through the canopy of trees which shaded the road, transforming it into a leafy-green tunnel. Every ray of light that shined through the windshield of Sarah's SUV made Rebecca's eyes flinch. She sat in the front passenger seat, with the backrest tilted back. She occasionally glanced at Sarah, silently staring out at the road in front of her, and Kitty, in the same silence, staring out the window of the backseat as the scenery flashed by. She was shocked as ever when they offered to go with her, considering the loss of their brother. She could see their pain in their eyes, but struggled desperately not to say anything that would make it worse. On the other hand, the silence was driving her mad, that Dixie Chicks song still stuck in her head.

"Hey, Kit?" Sarah asked Kitty, breaking the silence. In the rear-view mirror, Sarah could see her sister's face looking in her own direction.

"Do you remember that Ice Cream Parlor Dad used to take us when we were little?"

Kitty paused for a moment, her face absent of expression. "Vaguely."

"I was just thinking of the last time he took us there before it went out of business." Sarah said, glancing at Rebecca. "It was the summer before I started High School and you were so ticked that you'd be stuck in Junior High all by yourself.

Kitty cracked a smile, remembering that summer. "I remember I would describe the separation as 'solitary confinement'"

As the two sisters kept talking, Rebecca thought to herself how they'd already been through this before, after William died. Having to re-visit all the stages of their lives that they shared with their father, slowly inching their way towards acceptance of the fact that he was gone. The thought of having to do the same for Justin made her slowly close her eyes and rest her head against the window.

When she opened her eyes again, she was greeted with the broad horizon of the Pacific Ocean, waves crashing against the sandy beach. As Rebecca awoke from her sleep, she saw both Sarah and Kitty sitting motionless in their seats, Kitty leaning forward towards the center aisle of Sarah's SUV. They didn't notice that she was awake at first, but Rebecca could clearly see that they both had been crying. Before long, they both saw that Rebecca was awake, but they didn't say anything for a few moments.

"Well, shall we catch some waves?" Sarah asked, wiping her eyes with a weak smile.

The three women climbed out of the SUV, bags in hand, and turned to the three surfboards on the roof of the vehicle, once they got them free of their bindings, they began carrying the long boards down to the beach. As they walked between the small sand dunes, Rebecca took deep breaths of the salty air, a light breeze blowing through her hair. The drive up there took a bit longer than expected, apparently because of road construction. Despite the sorrow hanging over her head, Rebecca was excited to see the beach that he had told her so much about. She briefly closed her eyes and remembered his smile, and the chuckle in his voice when he talked about how he and Tommy had tried and tried to teach their sisters how to surf. It took a couple summer trips, but before long Sarah and Kitty managed to get the hang of surfing.

"Well, ladies?" Sarah asked, board under her arm. "Shall we suit up?"

Kitty and Rebecca eagerly nodded as they quickly settled into a small camp against the sloped edge of a sand dune on the beach. While they were putting on their wetsuits, Rebecca saw Sarah blink back a few tears. She wanted to say something to comfort her, again, but hesitated in order to prevent herself from saying the wrong thing, again. She wondered if she would ever get the hang of it.

Barely ten minutes after they'd waxed their boards and lined up to catch the surf, Sarah picked up her first wave. It was small, only about eight or ten feet, but the first one Kitty picked up must have been between ten and fifteen feet. Rebecca watched from atop her board as the two sisters rode the full length of the wave before it leveled out and lost momentum, sending them gliding towards shore. Kitty rolled off her board a few times as she came in, but before Rebecca could even think to laugh, she saw it. In front of her, what looked like about a hundred yards in distance in front of her, was a wave which looked like it would be at least twelve feet tall.

"Go, Rebecca! Paddle!" Kitty shouted from near the beach. Rebecca quickly laid herself on the board, facing down, and started paddling. She was a bit nervous, considering she'd only been surfing twice before, both with Justin. As she broke through the small waves, she could feel the tears stinging her eyes along with the water.

"I have to do this, I have to do this!" She told herself as she grunted tirelessly to paddle faster. As the wave approached, she aimed for the perfect spot of entry. She listened to Justin's voice in her memory, as hard as it was to do. "Follow the contour of the wave to determine the direction the wave will die out in, from left to right or from right to left. Sweep in parallel to the wave and enjoy the ride."

His words brought her some comfort as she came within a few yards of the wave. Just as he had taught her, she turned the board against the curled face of the wave and when she stopped paddling, the board kept moving. She was riding. Keeping her balance, she slowly stood up, balancing herself with her arms. Her heart was pounding and her hair had come loose from the ponytail she had tied it into, as it now was matted against her face. The roar of the wave gave her a powerful sensation, the feeling that she had conquered some ferocious sea monster and was riding it like a Shetland pony at the county fair. She smiled as the wave picked up speed before it began to lose power. Gently turning out of the wave, she began to softly laugh. Looking back at the wave as it collapsed into the sea, she smiled. As she inhaled and exhaled while riding into shore, she felt it as a sigh of relief. The entire way there she wondered if she'd be able to do it. Ever since they'd come home, she'd gotten this stabbing pain in her chest every time she saw a can of his favorite kind of pop, but she'd just done something that was a large part of who Justin Walker was, and it didn't hurt. It felt good. For a split second, she forgot he was dead. That second meant everything to her.

"You did it!" Kitty squealed over the roar of the waves crashing against the beach. As she was coming in, she saw something else that helped numb that pain. Even though he was gone, they still wanted her as a part of their family. She'd rather have had him back, but the sight of his sisters waiting for her gave her hope that things would get better. As she watched Kitty jump up and down a few times, and saw Sarah laughing, Rebecca stepped off her board and into the water. As the board glided onto the sand, Rebecca joined Kitty and Sarah on the beach.

"That was awesome!" Kitty exclaimed, putting her arm around Rebecca's shoulder.

"I have to agree." Sarah added. "That was some ride, couldn't have done it better myself."

Rebecca scoffed, crossing her arms. "Of course you could have."

Sarah nodded, adhering to the sarcasm. "Well, you're probably right, but it was still one heck of a ride."

"Did you two get good rides?"

"I think I did." Sarah said, looking out over the water. "I remember he and Kevin and Tommy used to say surfing is the best thing to do in order to unwind."

"I agree," Kitty said. "It felt good."

The three women smiled, but it was brief. After a few moments, the glowing sunset reminded them of how quickly the afternoon had passed by. Rebecca looked at the California sunset, the large glowing red sun shrouded amongst a few thin lines of clouds. Standing there, their shadows cast upon the sand, the three women were reminded by the glow of the sunset of the reason for their visit to the beach. The sound of the waves crashing into the shore couldn't drown out the yells and cries of his voice in their memories. The fact that he wasn't coming back hadn't sunk in yet. Shivering in the cold water, Rebecca gently crossed her arms, her lip trembling. Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah saw two tears roll down Kitty's face. Feeling her own coming on, she reached out to the both of them to lead them back to shore, and out of the water.

Darkness fell over the beach rapidly as the waves continued to crash ashore, a soft breeze seeping sand across the dunes. Three surfboards stood silhouetted by the star-filled sky, their sleek waxed surfaces shining in the flickering light coming from the campfire. Rebecca stared blankly into space, her eyes darting from one star to the next. She kept wondering if he could see her, if he knew she was there. Ever since it had happened, she'd spent every starry night staring into the darkness, as if she was hoping to catch even the smallest sign from him, a small flicker, a shooting star, anything. Although it was exhausting, she couldn't stop. The one thing that did provide her some comfort was that she'd fulfilled his last request. It was one more step in what seemed to her would be an endless staircase into oblivion. After what seemed like ages of laying still in the warm sand, Rebecca looked to see what Sarah and Kitty were doing. Kitty was asleep, rolled up tightly in a beach towel, while Sarah was sitting upright, facing the horizon overlooking the Pacific. Without barely moving an inch, Rebecca shifted her gaze back towards the stars. As she did, she could hear Sarah humming a song that sounded like it had a Hawaiian tune to it. Sarah also mumbled softly an old song.

You'll find your way,

Sarah sang softly in the darkness as Rebecca listened. The continuous roar of the waves seemed to soften over time in her ears as other memories began to take over.

Come what may,

Her memories faded back to the first time she met him, on her mother's doorstep on that crisp autumn evening. That night had been a turning point in her life, a turn for the better.

The voices of those who you love fill the world around you."

Memories faded in and out, dinners, dances, fights, jumping in the pool in one of her best dresses, going to nineteen different gas stations to find his favorite kind of beef jerky for his care package, falling asleep next to him on the couch after an afternoon of channel surfing, and fixing his cufflinks on that night they went out to dinner. She took deep breaths to calm her nerves every time her memories faded back to that night.

The time will come,

The wind blew across her face, dusting her occasionally with sand from the beach.

The wait shall be done,

Rebecca blinked a few times.

And we shall meet again……..

Rebecca blinked once more, and then it happened. The stars disappeared, the darkness disappeared, everything vanished before her eyes. The Pacific seemed to have dried up into a rather unforgiving looking desert, silhouetted by a hazy , glowing sunset. Before long she began to recognize her surroundings. She found herself on the stone bench just outside two steel doors on the outside edge of the building which housed the station's infirmary. Blinking wildly, she felt a sudden urge of hope and utter excitement. It had been just a dream, a simple, silly dream!

Taking deep, rapid breaths, she quickly leapt to her feet and walked swiftly towards the doors nearby. Her heart pounding faster, she made a sharp turn down the corridor, the fluorescent lights stinging her eyes. Before long, she found herself running towards the waiting room. Near the front desk, there was a small red clock mounted on the wall. She eagerly glanced to see what time it was. 9:14 PM, barely thirty minutes since he'd been in surgery. Her pace slowed as she arrived in the waiting room.

"Rebecca, where have you been?" Kitty asked from one of the sofas. "We were getting worried."

"Oh, I just stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air." Rebecca sputtered between her deep breaths. Her vision quickly drooped from the Walkers to the floor tiles as she tried to catch her breath.

"Was there any word?" Rebecca asked. "Anything at all?"

From across the lobby, Nora softly shook her head. After a moment of silence, Rebecca slowly stepped around the sofas and armchairs in which Justin's semi-conscious siblings rested in and took a seat next to Nora.

"Nora?" Rebecca asked softly, hoping to gain her attention. "I need to tell you something."

Nora looked up, her eyes very pale and red from crying. "Did you sign it?" She asked.

Caught off guard, Rebecca paused for a moment. "What?"

"The DNR." Nora sighed. "Just tell me, did you sign it?"

After another moment's pause, Rebecca slowly shook her head. "He wouldn't let me. He hasn't given up yet."

Nora struggled to crack a weak smile. "Stubborn as a mule, that's my Justin."

Rebecca chuckled at the remark briefly before slumping back into the sofa. Her eyes stared blankly into the ceiling tiles as her thoughts drifted in and out. She was so tired, all she wanted to do was sleep. She wanted to stay awake for him, to be there, but she just couldn't hold up her strength much longer. As she felt her eyelids grow heavier and heavier, she thought to herself of the last time she'd seen him before this happened, at that restaurant. She wished this too was a dream, that when she woke up, he'd be there, safe and sound. She wanted it all to be a dream.

To Be Continued…..

Author's Note

Sorry it took me so long to finish this story. I just started into my fourth year of college and with working two jobs, life gets a little chaotic. But I always try to carve out time to write. Tell me what you think of this chapter in particular.