Disclaimer: I do not, by any means, own Vampire Knight or any of its characters. They all belong to the beautiful and gifted mind of Matsuri Hino.
Warning: Besides character suicide, it's pretty safe. And hinted Shounen-Ai (M/M relationships).
Music: My Last Breath by Evanescence… kind of obvious.
A/N: It's pretty much Kaname's point of view on his love for Zero during his last thoughts. I had written this some time ago when my depression hit rock bottom and I couldn't help but imagine Kaname in the same situation. *Hopeless fangirl.* The details of their relationship was actually taken from one of my RPs… and was summarized to fit in this short but deep fic. Hope you enjoy.
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M Y L A S T B R E A T H
By: LeVampireChevalier
It's just so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this… There is nothing I would not do to look into your eyes and see you looking back. Why can you not understand how much my heart throbs for you, or how much my soul bleeds? It tires me so, to be always lamenting each day of my life. At how much of a fool I was to let you go. Can you hear me? Can you possibly hear these silent, tortured, agonized screams as I pull my last labored breaths?
I always said you would be the death of me, I never would have thought that to be literal. There is no longer anything I can do as I lay here; numb and unfeeling, gazing at the whitened tree tops towering high above the forest floor. Snow… the irony. Yuuki's memories suddenly come back to me, so familiar and surreal. The scene really isn't as different as I first thought it to be. There's so much white. Everything is so pure and untainted… but, there's something else. Crimson stains surround me, clinging to me like a dark halo. So beautiful.
How did we get to this point, I wonder. Where your cold stares melted into warm glances. Stone words softened into gentle whispers. Your touch still lingers on my skin, so warm, gentle and kind and soothing. All our gentle dreams and promises still rest undisturbed within this troubled mind and shattered heart, uselessly awaiting the day when our destinies were to become entwined. I laughed miserably at this… nothing more than a beautiful lie I desperately wanted to believe.
I am no longer afraid to say goodnight while I fade to black. What was done what was done, and there is no going back. I had been a fool to say such hurtful things when I didn't mean them. I was happy… just having you beside me. No longer being the object of your anger, but a friend. It was such a beautiful dream whenever I woke up in your arms, basking in your warmth and drinking in your ethereal beauty as you slumbered so peacefully.
A try to bite back the humiliating whimper that tries to escape my lips… I can't. Tears are now streaming down my cheeks… so helpless, so alone.
Till death do us part… Those were my words, were they not? Don't you remember? That night in the academy's gardens… as I rested my head upon your lap, your gentle hands running through me hair. When we were nothing but two lovers gazing up at the endless heavens. I tried… I really tried… for each shinning star I counted, I gave it a reason why I loved you… and I admit, I was doing so well, until I ran out of stars.
If only you knew… If only I could put in to words what you mean to me; but I'm afraid that not even my life is enough. I've given you my all… so much in fact, that I became indebted with myself.
The cold is beginning to get underneath my skin. My powers have completely depleted and I am now running on my last resorts. I never expect this to be so painful, but it was still one step short from the pain in my soul. Now that I am out of the picture, perhaps you can console Yuuki. Be her guardian angel like you once were mine… love her like I thought you loved me. Forgive me… Please forgive all of my imperfections. I've only wanted what was best for you… but apparently my best was never enough.
I can feel the warm hands that touch my face, gently pulling away the dark hair from my faded eyes. Oh God… I beg for the touch not to leave me. Please… please take away this pain, stranger. Just make it end. K-Kaname…? I can hear my name being whispered over and over. Such a beautiful, broken voice. Chocked sobs echoed in my ears, but I was not aware of who hey belonged too… because I now knew who it was that tended to me.
My lover; my friend; my haven; my consoler; my angel; my life and now my death. My Zero. My beautiful, mesmerizing, flawless, enchanting Zero.
His hands fumble with my coat, trying to place pressure on my wounds. My tourniquet. I tried to stop him, feebly swatting his hands away. It was useless… I was leaving in a matter of minutes, no matter how much he struggled to keep me here. My eyes told him to seize his efforts… to not waist his energy on me any longer. It would soon be over and he could continue with his life.
Kaname! What did you do?! You idiot! I heard him say through muffed senses. So… now he worried. I opened my mouth to speak but stopped. My chest collapsed when my pulse ran harder, making my wounded heart weaker and my body to bleed even more profusely than before. His voice became panicked, but I could barely register it any longer.
Just one more… just one… last… kiss. I silently begged as I forced my body to move but it wouldn't obey my commands. I had to leave… without a goodnight kiss. Before my sight vanished, the only thing I saw was that pair of tender, tear-rimmed, lilac eyes. The same eyes that shone when I smiled, the same eyes that gleamed when we made love. Zero…
Everything became suddenly very warm. I could no longer feel anything… senses were gone, breathing had stopped. My grasp on the Bloody Rose slackened along with my body… lifeless in the arms of the man I loved. KANAME!
I love you…. Zero…
~ F I N ~