Hi.........I'm Em. I hope you like this story. It will be going back and forth between journals, narratives, visions, thoughts, memories, etc. If you get confused just tell me. Um italics are journal. Underlined are thoughts. Bold are memories. Narratives are just normal font. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading!!
~Flashback~
"Hey Jake. How was class? Which one was it?"
"Where the fuck is my dinner? I told you I would be home at 5 and it is," he paused to look at the clock on his black touchscreen (expensive) phone, "ahem 5:30. Why the hell isn't it ready? You had all freaking day! You are the laziest, least useful bitch in the world." Jake had obviously just gotten back from the bar, not class, and he was drunk. He smelled like pot, cheap beer, and sex.
"I'm sorry. It will be ready soon. What classes did you have today?"
"Why the fuck do you care?" He yelled at me. "Just hurry up and make my dinner." I quickly got his steak out from the broiler and gave him huge helpings of mashed potatoes and gravy, as well as some green beans which were coated with butter and salt. I put everything on a tray and brought it to him in front of the 50 inch plasma screen hi def TV we had.
"I want some scotch."
"Jake, I told you last night that we were out, and I'm too young to buy alcohol. Do you even know how old I am?"
"Uh... aren't you like 15?"
"No Jake, god, today is my 16th birthday! Happy birthday to me," I said sarcastically.
"Bells, baby, I have a present for you."
"You do?" Wow, I hadn't been expecting this.
"Have sex with me Bells."
"NO, Jake we have been through this before, I am to young. I'm still in high school for Christ's sake."
"Yeah, well, I'm in college and I don't care." He was way stronger than me, and he easily held my hands behind my back while he kissed me. I couldn't push him away. He took one hand away from mine, and he took off his shirt. He had hickeys all over his chest.
"Where the hell did you get those?" I couldn't hear his stupid, pathetic, attempt at a response. "Damn't Jacob, I know what they are. Who gave them to you, and why do you smell like sex, and why the hell is the belt I bought you gone?" I demanded.
"Bella. Shut the fuck up. I had sex with this girl. Okay. Happy?" I knew he didn't care, so I didn't bother to answer. "You are blowing things out of proportion."
"What, I'm not blowing anything out of proportion!" He snickered. "What!!"
"You said blow. You know baby, I think that might be a good idea. Blow me. Right now!"
I noticed then that he had taken off his shirt all of the way. "How about we try this again, BLOW ME, or you WILL get whipped." So I did. I gave him oral sex. Then he raped me. Over and over again. So hard, so fast, so painful.
~End of Flashback~
I realized then that I was crying. "So he raped me, every week, every day for the next year. On either of our birthdays, I had to give him head. That is why I hate birthdays."
"Well miss, I'm very sorry that happened to you. Um, now that your story is over, do you mind if I go to the bathroom, you have been talking for 3 hours.
"What, oh, um sure." I got up, and the woman next to climbed out of the seat and went to use the small, uncomfortable plane bathroom.
"Miss, hello, would you like some dinner?"
"Yes, please. I believe that I ordered the vegetarian option." She handed me some under-cooked ravioli and a disgusting roll, along with an apple and some Chex Mix. I scarfed it down unbelievably quickly. The lady who was sitting next to me came back and fell asleep. I saw the passengers closest to me still staring at me like 'Aw, that sucks. Poor girl. Oh my god I can't believe that someone would do that to her.' Wow. That is bull shit. They didn't even see the bruises, cuts, and burns that covered my arms, chest, legs, and personal areas. None of them would even look me in the eye. Why had I told that woman everything when she just asked me if I was okay.
Wow. My life is pathetic. Here I am, traveling, alone, on Christmas Eve, with everything I own (and could get out of the house with) is in a set of duffel bags in the overhead compartments. I guess I might as well write in my journal now, I mean, I'm bored anyway.
Bella's Journal
New Year's Resolutions
1. Forget Phoenix
2. Love Forks
3. Get to know Charlie
4. Forget about Jacob Black
5. Be happy :)
Hi. I'm Bella Swan. You are my journal. I bought you for myself on my 16th birthday, but I haven't had time to write yet. I am 17 years old. I am moving from Phoenix, Arizona, to Forks, Washington. From the Valley of the Sun, to the land of rain. Literally, Forks gets more rain than any part of the continental U.S., and that is where I have to move. Damn my life sucks.
Well, yesterday was my birthday. I am, as I said, 17 years old. I hate my birthday. Since I was 2, on my birthday, I have been ignored. Since I was 16, I was raped. I am hoping that moving to Forks and Charlie will make my life better. Okay, maybe you don't get the horror of Jake. Well here are Jake's problems:
-aggressive
-persistent
-amazingly hawt
-two-sided
But, strangely, I used to love him more than anything. He used to be a nice guy, before the alcohol and drugs, but that changed. When we started going out I was 15 and he was 18, but I never felt the age difference. He was just like a big teddy bear. And I mean BIG, really, Jake was 6'8", and I am 5'4", so it is like an ant next to a giant. Then one day, everything changed. I caught him fucking my best friend, wait scratch that, my ex-best friend. He said that she came onto him, and threatened him, but that was bull crap. He was totally lying. So I broke up with him.
Then, on Valentine's Day, a month later, he apologized, took me to a fancy restaurant, and I took him back. That is the stupidest thing I could ever have done. Bad Bella. Whoops. I bet I know what you are thinking. Awwwwwww. How cute!! Not. He started accusing me of cheating on him, and not giving him enough attention. Hell, I was making all of his meals, wrote a kick-ass essay that got him into a great college, and payed for his room and board. Not that he was at his dorm much. Mostly he was at my house. Eating MY food. Watching MY TV. Sleeping in MY bed. That was not okay. I mean he was invading my space. So, one day, when his dinner was cold, because HE was late, he hit me. Yes, I said it. He hit me. He was drunk, because he has never, I mean had never done anything like that before. Now I know that it was just the beginning, foreshadowing, if you will.
You might be wondering, where are her parents. I mean, I was 16. Well, Renee, my mom, died of cancer, and her husband, Phil, disowned me. He like kicked me out. Just because I said that I didn't like the way his friends looked at me.
"Your aren't pretty. They are just looking at you politely you slut!" Those were his exact words when he kicked me out. So then, I went to Jake's house. I was hoping that he would help me, but his room-mate said he "wasn't there" even though I swear I could hear noise coming from the shower. I guess that's just the boy code. You know, like for girls, you can't go out with a friend's crush, boyfriend, or ex, maybe for guys, its like, you can't rat your friend out when he is cheating on his girlfriend. I don't really know. But after that, I went straight to this apartment that I heard was available in the center of town, bought it with most of my savings, and enrolled in an online school. I get straight A's. I have a 4.0 GPA. Well, back to the whole parent thing. Well, even though Phil called me a slut, I was still a virgin, actually, I was until Jake raped me. But I'm not going to write about that, because of all the painful memories.
I bet you are confused, because I moving to Charlie's house. Well, he is my biological father, but I didn't know about him until last month, when I found a letter of his to Renee. It said:
Dear Renee,
To this day, I ask myself why you left, and it occurs to me that I was never good enough for you, and for that I am truly sorry. I will stop sending you letters now. I will always love you. Call me if you need anything.
-Charlie
I called the number that he had left, and he told me that he didn't know about me, and that I was welcome to call him if I needed anything. Which is why I hope that it is okay that I'm on my way to live with him. He doesn't know that I'm coming. This should be interesting. Oh well, the plane is landing now. I will write more later. On the cab ride to Charlies.
hi. this is em. I hope that you had a great new years. Enjoy the story. Ps review and pm and I update wayyyy faster. Just ask anyone who has read my other story, I Won't Forget. Read that one too if you want. Pps thank you for reading