LAST SPOILER WARNING. CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

Another warning: This was written in post-"Benefit" hangover. I'm just so super excited for the awesomness that is Barney and NPH and Brotp that I just could not contain myself.

This is spell checked/grammar checked, but in no way betaed. It is raw and not shiny, and could possibly be updated with changes later.

Like I said, I just couldn't contain myself. I wanted to spread the joy that is Barney/this episode.

Enjoy!

Three seconds.

That was the amount of time for Barney's heart to cease beating blood to the rest of his body and take a side trip up to his throat instead. His entire body tensed up and he couldn't react. The anticipation of the blow made the three seconds slow down. Things around him became dreadfully fluid and he suddenly found it hard to breathe. It only took three seconds for all of the images he had of her go through his mind, but it sure felt longer. Time instantly slowed down for a personal side show of the greatest thing that had happened to him in his life. Better than The Price is Right. Better than blonde twins that were wasted before he found them. Better than a full, custom tailored, deep grey, pinstriped, Armani suit at 15% off.

It was just Robin.

Three seconds was the amount of time for the last few months to flash through his mind. Well, not the last few months in their entirety, just the moments spent near her.

Sitting across from her at their regular booth, talking to her on the phone, walking her to her apartment, commenting on yet another cigarette she smoked when she swore wasn't a smoker just an hour before, playing laser tag, wing-(wo)manning it.

Every single moment, every smile, laugh, touch, and look flashed in front of his eyes. It was like the bus was hitting him all over again. Everything he felt for Robin was jumping and leaping out of him. It needed to get out – it had to. He couldn't live like this any longer.

The awesome flashing slideshow of Robin caught up with him to the present moment…

"He said he couldn't do it anymore because someone is going to get hurt. I think we all know who he meant by that…"

He couldn't look at her. He was worried his eyes would give him away. He was too close to her…

"Do we?" He walked toward the fridge… he needed alcohol. And he needed it about ten minutes ago.

"Isn't it obvious?" she said it so blatantly that he had flashbacks to when the bus hit him. The sudden onslaught of fear, knowing you can't avoid the large, fast, dangerous hunk of metal on wheels screeching towards you. Except Robin wasn't a city bus. A city bus was child's play compared to Robin.

"It is?"

"Yeah…"

And so, three seconds past, and the last seven months flew through his mind, finding every memory that she was in and checking for slip ups. Cues that gave him away or that seemed odd. With the exception of the "failure-but-hit-a-home-run-later dinner" (as he referred to it in his mind) he could find none.

He could only stare at her. The jumping and leaping feelings were fighting for their presence to be known. But, Barney was frozen. He could see the bus, but he couldn't react. Just… waiting.

"It's Ted."

Everything that built up stopped, the bus swerved, "Oh!" he smiled, relieved.

"You know what a romantic he is - he can't separate the physical from the emotional… He's all like-"

But in those three seconds, Barney fell in love with Robin all over again. The passion he felt to just hear her speak - to just see her - grew past anything he had felt before those three seconds.

"I love you."

Because he may not have been hit, but he still had the "life flashing before his eyes" realization. He still felt the feelings grow and concrete themselves into every part of his being. Even the parts that he thought would never be infected by the feelings. They didn't want to go anywhere this time; they didn't want to be squashed. They didn't want to ridden off as "maybe I need to get her out of my system" thoughts. They jumped and fled before he could have a say in the matter.

But he was glad he said them anyway.

"Exactly."

Wait. What? She … what? This was a whole new kind of anticipation. He had a glimmer of hope that she understood. That she could free him of this awesome misery.

"He's not like you, ya' know?"

'…No, no. No, no, no. No. Not what I meant. God. No. Robin… no. Please…' He wanted to interrupt, but all his courage went with his "I love you." Besides, his heart was stuck in his throat and he wasn't sure sound would come out if he tried to speak.

"Besides, we're friends. I don't wanna screw that up by getting involved."

Hammer meet nail…

He wanted to say something, anything. Be it serious or a joke… just something. He couldn't even move his arm to take a drink of the much needed alcohol.

"Besides, dating friends never works out."

Six words and he was hollow. He fell to the ground in a little puddle of awesome, Fitzgerald suit, and heartbreak. His head fell. He couldn't look at her – after all he was just a puddle of awesome, Fitzgerald suit, and heartbreak. And in that moment, he couldn't even be a puddle if she saw the heartbreak.

"So, uh. You wanna get a taco?"

He was confused. Still unable to get the alcohol in his system. Still unable to run to Ted's television and throw it from the fire escape. And the taco comment caught him off guard.

"Taco?"

"You love them, remember?"

"Right, hehh…" so much had happened to him since then.

"Come on, I'm hungry."

She grabbed her coat, her bag, and left the room. He wanted to drink until he was dizzy and couldn't walk or think. He wanted to buy a television and destroy it until the only distinguishable part that was left of it was the brand name's metallic logo next to a lump of wasted metal and electronic pieces. He really wanted to hug Feely the Share Bear. Anything but go eat a taco with Robin. From this day on, he wouldn't be able to eat a taco without thinking of this moment with her.

It took three seconds. Only three seconds for Barney to realize that he was in absolute and utter misery around her.

And it took five for him to realize that he was worse when she was gone.

So, he put down his beer, ignored Ted's television, and followed the girl of his dreams to dinner.