The Challenges of Love

1. Status Report

I don't own Total Drama Island or any related aspects, spin-offs, etc. or associated characters, places, etc.

There were a select few things that could guarantee unbridled joy for Chris Maclean: watching people suffer/experience pain, causing drama so people will suffer/experience pain, being treated like royalty while other people suffer/experience pain, and virtually anything else that involved people suffering/experiencing pain. Taking these facts into consideration, it would seem that this celebrity host/actor is disturbed enough to be a full-fledged sadist.

To add to his complex, he also seems to be a hypocritical sadist. Witnessing anyone else on the opposite end of the pain-game was entertaining. As soon as the roles reversed he was not interested in sticking around.

The Network, which employed and worked with Chris through several shows, knew the aforesaid facts about him quite well. Their hit Total Drama series was such a success partly thanks to Chris's thrill for the contestants' misery. If they would've hired anyone else the show might have not built-up the cult following it had and achieved all the high ratings, awards, records, and – most importantly – money that it did.

They owed a lot to Chris Maclean and they knew it. This is why no one, least of all Chris himself, was prepared for the bomb The Network dropped.

"We heard about your breakup, Chris," one of the network owners, Collin Johnston, told the celebrity. He was the more nervous of the owners and sounded like he had a permanent head cold, making him also the easier of the owners to tune out. "And we would just like to say that we offer you our, ah, condolences."

Chris chuckled lightly, amused by the amount of concern touching his boss's voice. "Dude, no worries! It was about high time I sent her packing. Things were getting way too serious."

George Cooper, another of the network bosses, arched a thick eyebrow into his wide, oiled forehead. "You were only with her a week, boy."

"Six days, man." Chris corrected. "Six days of pure hell. It was all fun until she had to go and make it official." Chris shook his head slowly. "She just couldn't be happy with a fling. She had to put a label on it and ruin a good thing."

George Cooper nodded in understanding as he glared at the thick gold wedding band stuck on his meaty finger. Collin Johnston, whose last girlfriend dumped him in the tenth grade for his better looking friend, didn't really know why Chris wouldn't want to work things out with a pretty girl who liked him.

"Well back to business!" George said, clasping his palms together. With his booming voice and an irritable nature he was the more respected of the two men sitting with Chris that morning. This in turn made him more of a 'boss of the bosses' rather than a partner, but it didn't seem like anyone dared to bring this to his attention anytime soon. "Johnston, explain to Chris why we called him here."

"Ah, right." Collin cleared his throat and ransacked through the papers on his desk before he pulled out a thick packet. "We conducted a, ah, character popularity poll a week after the finale of the latest Total Drama season and we found that you were in, um, the top ten at position number, ah, eight. Just yesterday we had our second poll of character popularity delivered to us and we, ah, discovered that you had somehow reached up to sixth place."

"Wicked," was all Chris had to say. With all the fans he had he was pretty sure he was more famous than any of the teens that he shared the spotlight with.

"We also did some research and found that there are many… um, fansites with a large female population interested in, ah, conforming you."

Chris was lost now. "Conforming me?"

"You know, Chris – conform you!" George barked out with a wide smile under his heavy mustache. "A lot of girls are into the idea of a guy liking them enough to change their ways. In this case they don't want you to talk like a skater and be so sadistic and – according them – mean."

"Mean." Chris repeated the word and smirked.

"Yes, mean. They also seem to think you're a womanizer."George rolled his eyes. "Which I understand after you're latest excuse to dump a hot model girlfriend. But that's not what matters now, m'boy. As I said, a lot of ladies are into that."

Chris seriously doubted he was George's 'boy' and he also doubted that any of this information mattered to begin with. Besides the statistics, these were all things he knew or could at least figure out himself. "Thanks for the progress report on my fame and rep, bros. Totally appreciated… I guess."

Chris rose out of the black leather chair he sat in smoothly. Collin shot up from his chair in panic. "Wait! We have yet to address why we, um, called you here." Chris mumbled something and fell back into the seat, giving Collin a bored stare. "Thank you. As myself and Mr. Cooper were reading through our statistics and information, we came to a, ah, conclusion that involves you." He offered a shy smile. Chris didn't smile back. "Right… well the bottom-line is that we would like to have you in our next reality series, Mr. Maclean."

Chris decided to smile then. It was bright enough for Collin to get his confidence back and smile as big as he had wanted to. "Awwwwwwwwwesooooooome!" the host cheered. "Is it another Total Drama Island spinoff or something? A totally new show with off-the-hook challenges and a huge money reward? Whatever it is, I'm up for it!"

Collin and George gave each other worried looks. "Um, Chris, it's kind of different from the Total Drama series…"

"Sweet! Is it harder? Will Chef still be there – he's great to work with."

"Chef can be there but I don't see why you'd want him to be," George chuckled. "The man would scare off all the pretty ladies, no doubt."

Chris arched a brow at this and looked to Collin for a better explanation. Collin sighed and spoke slowly, careful how he'd word the details. "You see Chris, this show is… ah, a reality show with drama. You like drama?" Chris nodded. "Yes you do! Ah, but the girl's won't be competing for a money prize." Then Collin considered what he said and added on as an afterthought, "Well they might be, but they aren't really supposed to be."

Chris tilted his head in confusion. "So there will only be girls competing…?"

"Yes," Collin confirmed timidly.

George got impatient. "Oh for the glory of the Great Lakes – the girls are all trying to be your girlfriend. The winner gets to date you."

Silence.

"… As in it's a love show. Like the girls do challenges and stuff to impress you and at the end of every challenge you vote one off. The last lady standing will get to date you."

Silence.

"… Meaning we'll get tons of ratings."

Silence.

"…Yeah. And that's pretty much it."

Collin and George stilled and analyzed Chris's expression. He looked as if he was still confused, but there was dangerous gleam in his eyes that neither of the network operators were comfortable with.

Eventually Chris spoke up. "'Kay, thanks but there's no way I'm doing that. "

Chris Maclean didn't really have a choice in the matter, though. If the network really wanted to they could probably have him go through with an arranged marriage. This is because he had signed a contract with the network that pretty much said he was their property. If they wanted to make a reality love show staring Chris Maclean, than Chris Maclean was going to star in a reality love show. When Chris Maclean had these details of his singed contract highlighted to him by George Cooper and Collin Johnston he swore to avenge himself somehow. This was just true evil at its most intense form.

"Now I know why everyone hates the fine print!"

"Don't be like that, Chris. You're in charge of the challenges! That's an upside!"

"You get to, ah, ultimately decide who wins!"

"We already told you Chef can be there if you'd like!"

"You can, ah, pick out who you want to be in your, um, film crew!"

Chris listened to their pitiful attempts at putting him, their celebrity, at ease. He had a bit of an epiphany while they ranted. He could make the challenges really extreme. He'll make them suffer to the extent that even if someone makes it to the end, there is no way they'd want to accept a relationship with him. It was completely doable. Another plus was that he'd totally get to ruin lives for a paycheck, just like the shows he hosted before. Not to mention he might get a few good looking chicks to mess around with. Oh, and he'd make sure Chef would cook all the girl's meals. Seeing the campers enjoying Chef's creations always guaranteed a smile. Maybe he'd just give in and see how far he could push his limits this time around…

"Whatever. Just tell me when we start."

I know, it's short, but it's an intro. And like all the other bazillion fics, you can submit original characters that may be used. I really like those fics, though. I think it makes it more fun!

Now there's going to be twenty-two contestants, all females – guys will be in this fic, but they won't be in the actual competition. All original TDI contestants will somehow get involved (they all have contracts after all).

If you're interested in submitting a lady, then please pm or review the following info:

-Full name (and nickname if they have one or what they like to be called)

-Age (the youngest can be 18)

-Appearance (height, hair color/style, eye color, skin color, makeup worn)

- Everyday clothing style/worn, pj's, formal attire

-Occupation

-Hometown

-Personality (pet peeves, what their like, are they social, favorites/least favorites, things that make them different, any catch phrases or mannerism, etc)

- What they like about Chris/don't like about Chris

-A female TDI cast member you want with Chris on the show

-Does your character want to win Chris's heart? His money? Do they not care if they win so long as they have a bit of TV time?

-Anything else that you think myself and/or the reading public should know about your lady

I also need to be in contact with you so for later chapters, so make sure if you submit one you don't get killed because I'll be needing you. Do whatever it takes – hire body guards, wear body armor, spend your life in a bomb shelter – whatever keeps you safe.