This is what happens when I get writer's block and boredom in the same hour, especially after watching too many scary movies. Writer's block is a curse.

I was originally really ashamed that I wrote this, but I decide that if you don't like it, don't read it! And don't ridicule me for it! At least I have the ovaries to post this, let alone write it! So there!

Disclaimer: Do I look like Jorge Gutierrez or Sandra Equihua to you?

……………………………………………………..

He knew he shouldn't be looking. He wasn't supposed to be looking. Why couldn't he stop looking? He didn't mean to see, but once his eyes saw it, his brain couldn't force them away. He stood on a tree branch outside the window, his original intentions, coming over for an innocent Friday night video game marathon and a sleep over, now long forgotten. Okay, so maybe he had come over a tad too early. He had started at her bedroom window and realized she wasn't there to let him in. Leaving his over night bag by her window, he looked in the other windows, hoping to find her. When he finally did, he found himself frozen on the spot. The window was open slightly, allowing him to poke his head through in harmless curiosity. What he saw was far from what he expected. The bathroom was foggy, the water from the shower obviously very hot. The warm air flowing out the window was enough to make his face sweat. But that's not the only part of him that started to sweat once he saw her.

Through the milky gold curtain, Manny could see the outline of her body. She was currently washing her hair while humming a little tune to herself, oblivious to her audience. As previously stated, he couldn't look away. He tried to, but it was a futile effort. All he could do was stare with wide eyes. He followed her movements with great interest as she rinsed her hair out and began messaging her body with soap.

This was wrong; he shouldn't be spying on Frida like this.

She put her foot up on the side of the tub so she could wash her leg, bending over it as she did so.

Then again, Manny never was one to do the right thing the first time around.

As he watched her wash herself, his pant suddenly felt tighter. He slid down so only his eyes were visible through the window. If she caught him spying, he'd never live it down. He was sure she couldn't see him through the shower curtain, but he wasn't going to take any chances. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was a spying pervert. He suddenly realized he was purring quite loudly and he prayed that she couldn't hear him over the sound of the water.

"Mija!" The sudden voice of Frida's mother and the opening of the bathroom door startled Manny so much, he almost fell out of the tree he was in. Mrs. Suarez walked into the room and opened the mirror cupboard, searching for something. "Have you seen your Father's contacts?"

"No, mama, I haven't." Frida said from the shower.

Manny ducked down, completely hidden from view. "Well, you know there's a big ceremony tonight, and we can't leave until we find them!" He heard Mrs. Suarez say. She looked over her shoulder at her daughter through the shower curtain. "You sure you don't want to come with us?"

"Yes, mom, I'm complete sure. Everyone at the station thinks I'm a nutcase." She said. "Besides, Manny's coming over later to get his butt kicked in Supermacho Fighter 4, so don't worry, I'll be fine."

"Alright, honey." She turned to leave. "But, seriously, though, where do you think those contacts might be?"

Frida started to rinse the soap off her body. "Have you checked the junk drawer?"

"Why would they be in there?"

"Mother, do not question the amazing awesomeness of the junk drawer."

Mrs. Suarez thought for a moment. "You know, it wouldn't hurt to check, I suppose." And she exited the room.

"Run, mom, run like the wind!" Frida called after her.

Once he established that her mother was gone, Manny glance back over the windowsill. Frida turned the shower off and he saw her ring out her hair through the curtain. She reached one dripping hand out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Manny quickly ducked his head down as she wrapped it tightly around herself and stepped out. Unable to help himself, he peeked up at her. The towel was short. It only covered not even one third of her thigh and gave her chest a slight lift. That sight made Manny's tiger instincts flare up. He was becoming more aware of the growing bulge in his pants. She picked up the clothes she had been wearing before she got into the shower and exited.

Fast as lightning, he jumped back to her window and pushed on it, checking if it was locked or not. It was. He unsheathed one of his claws and expertly slid it through the crack, unhinging the latch. He opened it just enough to let him see through, but not enough for her to notice. He couldn't believe what he was doing. Not only was this wrong, but this was unfair to Frida! This was a total invasion of privacy! But as she entered the room, all complaints left his mind. She ran her fingers through her hair as she walked over to her dresser.

'C'mon, drop the towel, drop the towel.' He couldn't believe he was actually thinking those thoughts! It was so unlike him, it was so perverted, it was so…

As she let the towel fall to her ankles, his mind melted. His instincts, along with typical teenage boy hormones, started screaming at him, begging him to act. He was now sweating harder than he had probably ever sweated in his life. He stared at her body, his mind suddenly clouded with thick lust. Her petite waist, her flat stomach, her perfect chest (which he stared at a bit longer than he needed to), her lovely hips, her toned legs. He memorized every detail. He wanted to see her closer. He wanted to touch her.

He had always been in love with her. He realized that back in the seventh grade. But seeing her like this, now it was made clear to him how much he truly wanted her. How much he needed her. He had to do something.

He watched as she dug through her dresser drawers and pulled out a set of under garments and slipped them on. He noticed her bra was the kind that hooked in the front and her panties were South Park themed, the front of them having a picture of Cartman saying 'Respect My Authority!'

She put her foot on the dresser and rubbed her leg with a small amount of lotion. Manny could smell it from the window. Vanilla. His favorite scent on a female. He dug his claws into the branch he was perched on and tried to think about something else in a failing attempt to silence, or at least quite his instincts. Once Frida was done moisturizing one leg, she continued to the other. Without realizing it, another series of purrs escaped Manny, which were quiet enough for her not to hear. She was torturing him, and she didn't even know it. Once she finished, she dug through her drawers again and drew out her black night shirt, which was just barely long enough to hide her underwear. She set it down on the dresser, picked up the towel, threw her head forward and ruffled her hair with it. After she flipped her head back, she pulled the night shirt over her body before once again exiting the room, towel in hand.

Manny stared after her. He sat there doing nothing, waiting for her. When she did come back, she was minus one towel and calling over her shoulder to her mother, who had apparently found Chief Suarez's contacts. "Did I not tell you, mom, not to question the awesomeness of the junk drawer? And I was right, wasn't I?" She shut her door and sat on her bed, taking her goggles from the bedside table and placing them over her hair. She sighed once before picking up her cell phone and dialing a number. Manny was once again startled almost to the point of falling when he heard the ringing of his own cell phone and felt the vibration in his pocket. He quickly made to muffle the sound, trying not to attract Frida's attention. He leapt down off the tree, landing gracefully on the ground.

"H-hey, I'm almost t-there." He stuttered, still recovering from what he had just seen.

"Well, hurry up, man!"

"Ok-kay."

"Is it cold out there or something?" She asked.

"W-what?"

"You sound like you're shivering."

"Uh… yeah, let's go with that. It is a b-bit chilly out."

"Okay, then hurry up and get here so we can wrap you in a blanket or something. My people just left, so you're all clear." With that she hung up.

'There's only one thing I wanna be wrapped in tonight.' he thought. He quickly dove into a bush as the rest of the Suarez family stepped out the front door, discussing uninteresting things. When he was sure they were gone, he took in a deep breath through his nose and released it through his mouth, leaning against the side of her house. Now he had to do something about that bulge. He thought about the look on his father's face if he ever found out that he had been spying on Frida in the shower. Not even two seconds with that image in his head was enough to diminish the tent in his pants. He drew another deep breath and once again leapt to Frida's window, tapping on it. She opened it and he jumped in.

"That's weird," she said, eyeing the window. "I could've sworn that I locked that."

He pulled his overnight bag through the window. "Maybe you unlocked it earlier and forgot about?" he offered, his voice slightly nervous.

She looked at him and then back at the window, before shrugging. "Eh, I guess. Oh well, who cares, it's not important." Manny spun his buckle, returning to his regular attire. He had changed into his pajamas before leaving his house. "So, you ready to get your ass kicked?" Frida threatened.

"Bring it on, chica!"

Throughout the entire night, Manny couldn't get the images of Frida's bare body out of his mind, which contributed to his losing ever game they played. He found himself constantly glancing at her exposed legs, his attention for the game getting shorter and shorter. 'I bet they're really soft.' He thought.

"C'mon, Manny, are you off your game tonight or something? This is hardly a fight!" Frida said after beating him once again. "What's up? Something distracting you?"

"Oh yeah." Manny said, not realizing he said it out loud. When it did occur to him that he actually did say it, he panicked. 'Oh shit!' He thought.

"So what's on your mind that's making you suck so badly?"

Manny quickly tried to think up a lie. "I… uh… well, I… I'm… hungry?"

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Manny," she said slowly, and pointed to a bowl on the table in front of them. "There's a bowl of popcorn that's been there since you got here."

He mentally kicked himself. Now he looked like an idiot. "Yeah, well… uh… popcorns not really that filling."

Frida turned the game off and turned toward him on the couch, taking the bowl and setting it between them. She took a piece and held it up, ready to throw it. "Ready?"

"Oh, I love this game!" Manny faced her and waited. She threw it up in the air for him. He went for it, but it bounced off his tooth and landed back in the bowl. She laughed. "Okay, okay, I wasn't ready for that one!" he said defensively. He also took a piece and held it up. "Your turn."

"Bring it!"

He threw the piece in her direction and she caught it with ease. He stared as she smiled at him triumphantly. "That's not fair."

"Here, try again." She threw another piece at him and he caught it this time. "Nice one!" She gave him a high five. "My turn."

He threw a piece at her and she once again caught it easily. He frowned and she giggled. She threw another one to him which he missed.

Throw. Catch

Throw. Miss.

"Looks like I'm the champion tonig-AAAH!" As she spoke, he tackled her to the ground, tickling her unmercifully. She screamed with laughter and squirmed beneath him.

"It's not nice to brag." He said teasingly as his fingers danced all over her stomach and sides, which he knew were extremely sensitive. Her skin jumped under his touch, and became very sweaty very fast, giving her a glistening look in the dim light of the living room. Immediately, memories of her body flooded his head, causing the hot feeling to return to him, blood rushing to his lap. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she giggled uncontrollably, so his painfully obvious excitement went unnoticed.

"S-stop!" She cried between laughs, trying unsuccessfully to pry him off her.

"Why?" He asked playfully. As the tickling feeling becoming too much, she arched her back, trying to slip out of his grasp. As she did this, he watched the way the fabric of her shirt pulled on her breasts. She was laughing so hard, tear formed in her eyes.

"P-please!" She begged. "M-Manny, stop" She threw herself around in all directions, kicking and twitching, trying every way she could think of to knock him off. He felt her foot glaze over the bulge that was once again forming in his pants, but she hardly seemed to notice.

Unable to stand it anymore, Frida did the first thing she could think of. She threw her arms around neck, pulled him down, and firmly crushed her lips to his. The action was totally unexpected, but he kissed her back without hesitation. His hands went from tickling her body to the floor beneath her, holding him up. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, and she parted her lips in response. There tongues danced together while there lips moved in perfect synchronization. All this sensual activity was doing no good for his throbbing lower half, especially since his instincts were now demanding him to take advantage of the situation. Frida nipped his lower lips before pulling away. They stared at each other, panting.

"I'm not complaining in the least or anything," Manny finally said. "But what was that for?"

"To distract you." She said simply. He was silent for a moment, processing. She pecked him once more before wiggling out of his grasp and pulled herself to her feet. "I'm gonna… go get some water." She disappeared into the kitchen, walking rather fast.

Manny could no longer ignore his excited feeling, or his instincts. His mind was once again clouded with lust and desire, so much to the point where he literally ached for her. It would be so easy. Just to follow her into the kitchen, pin her to the counter, and take what he wanted. But the problem with that was that he loved her and didn't want to do anything she didn't want him to. He pondered for a moment, a long moment, before he decided what he would do. Gathering all his courage, he walked into the kitchen.

Frida poured herself a cold glass of water and gulped it down. She then poured herself another. She was splashed a little bit of it on her face, trying to cool herself down. Since when was it hot in her house? It wasn't that way before Manny came over. She took several deep breaths, trying to slow the rapid pace of her heart. What she had just experienced with Manny had set her stomach on fire, the warmth pooling between her thighs. She wanted him. She had always loved him, but this was the first time she truly wanted his body. She was temped to just march right back into the living room and attack him right there. She was quite sure he wouldn't stop her. She had felt her foot brush up against his pants while she was being murderously tickled. She knew exactly what she had felt.

Manny saw her leaning against the counter, her back to him. As nervous as he was, he didn't hesitate. He slowly walked up behind her and put his hands on the countertop on either side of her, pressing his body against her back, pinning her there. He heard her gasp quietly in surprise by his actions, but she didn't make any attempt to stop him.

"Please don't tickle me again." She said quietly. She could tell, though, by the way he cornered her that he defiantly had something else in mind.

He slowly turned his head towards her and ran a series of feather-light kisses against her neck. She did nothing except tilt her head to the side slightly to give him better access.

"Don't worry, I won't." He said between kisses.

Once he reached her shoulder, he opened his mouth and started to suck on the sensitive skin above her collar bone, earning another gasp. She tilted her head more and reached behind her to lightly lay her hand on the back of Manny neck, capturing him in a backward embrace. He returned to kissing her neck, trailing upward to her jaw and cheek before she turned to face him and their lips met again in a deep kiss.

Still pinning her to the counter, his hands slid up under her shirt and began to wonder her body, starting with her hips and working there way up. He traced her hip bone with his fingers, then sliding them up her sides and around to her stomach. Still passionately kissing her, his hands inched up very slowly.

Her breath became short and sharp when he finally got to her breasts, cupped them, bra in place, in his hands and squeezed gently. She could feel his heart beat on her back increase dramatically. He broke away from her lips and licked up and down her neck, smiling when he finally coaxed a small moan out of her. His right hand left her chest and slipped out from under her shirt to pull her goggled off her head.

He grew tired of this backwards crap. He wanted to be able to see her. Dislodging his other hand, he turned her around and lifted her to sit on the counter in front of him, running his hands down her thighs to hook behind her knees and drag her forward until she was pressed against him from hips to heart. She took a deep breath and leaned back on her hands, never breaking eye contact. Now that they were facing each other, Manny saw how red she was in the face, her expression giving him the impression that she was shy. Her breath was quick, her chest heaving with every intake of air. His hands trailed back up her body, taking her shirt up with them. She arched her back and raised her arms so he could easily pull it off of her. It lay forgotten on the floor as his hands rested on her hips.

Now stripped down to her underwear, Frida started to feel a little embarrassed as his gaze washed over her body. His eyes settled on the Cartman picture on her panties and he chuckled. He glanced back up and her face and felt bad when he saw shyness in her expression. He immediately kissed her again. "You are so beautiful."

She gave him a loving smile. "Thank you."

She didn't think it was very fair that she was practically naked and he was still fully clothed. So feeling braver, she slid her hands up his shirt and yanked it off him, throwing it to the floor. She couldn't resist running her nails along his rock hard abs. Years of fighting had done his body good. He was pleased that she was obviously as impressed with his body as he was with hers. He captured her lips again for only a few seconds before pulling away and leaning his forehead on hers. "I love you."

She smiled, loosely draping her arms over his shoulders. "I love you, too."

Smiling, he bit his lower lip and pressed his body up against hers, hands once again on the counter on either side of her. "I'm serious."

She giggled. "So am I." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Alright." He said. "I just didn't want you to think that I was just doing this out of lust."

She smiled warmly and craned her neck up to kiss him on the forehead. "You really need to shut up."

He smirked, taking the hint, and went back to kissing her body. She braced herself against the counter as his lips graced her skin. It took her by totally surprise when he, without warning, ripped her bra off. She immediately pressed herself against him and buried her face in the crook of his neck, suddenly feeling very shy. He outright laughed at her reaction. He could feel her bare chest against his and it was enough to make him start purring again. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his own face in her hair, breathing in her sweet scent. Vanilla.

His hands went down to her legs again and guided them to wrap around his hips, hooking her heals behind his knees. As if fate was on his side, he saw a light switch on the wall behind Frida. He flicked it, the lighting in the kitchen now much dimmer, aside from the small bulb that burned over the sink to there right, which barely gave off enough light for them to see each other.

"Do you feel less shy in the dark?" he teased.

She looked up at him, arms crossed over her chest to hide it from his view. "Manny, I saw you watching me in the shower earlier." Even though it was dark, there was enough light for her to see his face. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape, and his skin was now redder than hers.

"How…?"

"I could see you through the curtain. I was staring right at you the whole time. It's a lot less visible than you think it is." She giggled.

Manny didn't know whether to be mortified or to rip the rest of his clothes off. He decided to start with a little sexual torture. A little payback for the torture she had caused him earlier.

Eyes half-lidded, he took Frida's wrists in his hands and gently pried them off her chest, keeping his gazed locked with hers. She didn't resist him, but let him pin her hands behind her, forcing her to lean back on them again. He finally broke his gaze to feast his eyes on the flesh he had just uncovered. He drank in her whole body with his eyes, lips parted and face flush with desire. His eyes washed over her, never giving one spot more attention than another. It was intoxicating and naughty and infinitely arousing. He smirked at her and pressed himself against her, wrapping his arms around her hips and resting his hands on the small of her back, and whispered in her ear, "I don't understand why you're so shy. You really are beautiful."

She was about to say something, but a high-pitched moan escaped her instead. Manny had snuck down and taken her left nipple between his lips, sucking like a newborn baby. The sound thrilled him and he wanted to hear more. Using his right middle and index finger, he 'walked' his hand up to her right breast and teased it with his fingertips. He was rewarded with more of those wonderful moans. He switched sides and continued. Frida's head rolled to the side and her back arched in response to Manny's actions. Her eyes fell shut as she focused on the feeling of his touch. She made a sound like a mew that skipped his ears and traveled straight to his groin.

All too soon, he pulled away. She made a small whine in protest, sticking her bottom lips out of a fake pout. He chuckled and laid his tongue on the valley between her breasts, dragging it downward. When he got to the waistband of her panties, he pulled them off with his teeth. She had to push her hips up to allow him to slide them off her.

"God, Frida, I love you so much." He whispered to her.

"I love you, too, Manny." He came back up to her lips for yet another kiss. She wrapped her arm around his neck and as he ran his hands up and down her sides, feeling her soft curves. Frida slid her toes into his pants and pulled them down, taking his boxers down as well. He stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. He knew what she wanted, but he wasn't done torturing her yet. He abruptly switched from running his hands against her sides to tickling them ferociously once again. She squealed in laughter and clawed at his back.

"Y-you liar!" she screamed. "You s-said you wouldn't d-do that!"

He chuckled. "I changed my mind." She flung herself every which way in a sad attempt to knock him away. He had her firmly in place, and she soon realized she was stuck.

"M-Manny, p-please, no m-more!" she cried. Once she finally had enough, she buried her face in the crook of his neck and bit him as hard as she could. He immediately stopped and tried to pull her off, but she had her arms fastened tightly around his shoulders.

"Ow, ow, okay, Frida, I get it, I'm sorry!" He whined. "Please, stop, I won't do it again, I promise!"

"You promise?" She asked, her voice muffled slightly by his skin in her mouth.

"Yes, I promise!" She slowly released her bite and tenderly kissed the spot where her teeth marks could be seen. He sighed in relief. "Thank you." She pulled away and glared at him with narrow eyes.

"Aw, are you mad at me now?" Manny asked while lightly running his finger along her cheek. She responded by pulling her knees up to her body, placing her feet on his chest and firmly pushing him away. She then crossed her legs and arms tightly and looked away from him in a mock pout.

He laughed and walked up to her again, running his hands up her legs. "Oh, c'mon, Frida, you know I was just playing." She slowly glanced back at him, but quickly looked away again, determined not to give in just yet. She was slightly irked that this experience had gone from passionate and romantic to playful and teasing. He leaned in and kissed her neck, trailing up to her face and whispering in her ear. "C'mon, smile for me." His kisses were so light that they tickled a little. She raised her shoulder and rolled her head back to stop him and she couldn't help but giggle as she did so. "There it is!"

She quickly turned away again. "I'm still mad at you."

He sighed, frustrated. "For what?"

"You went from romantic to teasing."

He was quiet for a moment. "Ohhhh!" He smirked, a devious thought coming to his mind. "I think I can fix that." Out of no where, he slid his arms under her knees and back and lifted her off the counter, carrying her bridal style and walked out of the room. She 'eep'ed at his actions.

"What are you-?!"

"You'll see." He went to her bedroom and laid her down on her bed, crawling on top of her. "You want romantic?" He kissed her chest, above her breasts and below her collar bone. "I can do romantic."

She smiled. "Then prove it."

"Okay." He pulled the blanket over them and softly laid his lips on hers, lightly running his fingers over her skin. Her arms snaked around his neck and held him tightly as their lips moved together. She felt his arousal brush up against her thigh, and as their position became more apparent, the sexual anticipation started to build up.

Manny pulled away kissed her chest once before speaking. "Frida…"

"I know." She said. She smiled up at him, eyes half lidded. He read her expression and knew that she wanted it as much as he did. He kissed her lips once more and positioned himself.

"Frida, are you sure you want this?" he whispered.

She became slightly annoyed. "If I wasn't," she said suggestively, "Do you think I would have let you get this far?"

He smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. He slowly pushed his hips forward and entered her, gasping slightly at the sensation. When he came upon resistance, he locked his gaze with her and she told him with her eyes to push through. As gently as possible, he broke through the thin piece of skin, peppering her neck with light kisses as he did so. She drew a long, sharp breath in through her teeth and her body stiffened as a slight burning surged through her. Seeing this reaction, Manny kissed her lips again, hoping to soothe the pain. "Are you alright?" he cooed.

Breathing deep, she nodded. He slowly pulled back and then pushed forward again. He did it slowly, worried he was going to hurt her again. After a moment, she grinded her hips on his. "You know, you can pick up the pace." She said breathlessly.

He smiled. "Whatever you want, love." He accelerated, each thrust deeper and harder than the one before. He groaned as he plunged into her again and again, each stroke bringing with it a burning wave of pleasure. She clawed at his back as he moved into her, her back involuntarily arching slightly over and over. She moaned as her muscles contracted, clamping down on him with each inward thrust.

Panting, he looked down at her as she writhed beneath him. Her toes curled as she clung to him, lips parted in passion. She moved her hips in sync with his, matching his rhythm perfectly. He hissed through his teeth and closed his eyes as he rocked against her, pleasure building up inside him. "Frida….!"

Making sounds that were a mixture of a moan and a whine, her head rolled back and she raised her shoulders as her body tingled with erotic sensations. It bubbled up to the point were she could barely stand it, yet she didn't want it to end. She could tell by the way he grabbed at her hips that he was reaching his peak as well. "Manny…!" She whined, or more like screamed, as a strong wave of pleasure surged throughout her whole body.

"Oh, God, Frida!" Manny yelled as he pulled her hips hard to his body and came. Breathing hard, he pulled out and looked at her and was sure that he had never before seen such a beautiful sight in his life. He kissed her forehead. "My God, you are so beautiful!"

She giggled, still panting. "You said that already. Twice."

"Well, it's true!" He said, rolling off her and pulling her on top of him. He rubbed her back and brought his lips to hers in a heated kiss. After a few moments, she pulled away and laid her head on his chest, sighing contently. They both felt totally at peace and could've stayed like that all night.

She sighed again. "We gotta go clean up the kitchen."

He groaned, pulling her tighter to him. "Why?"

"Because, silly," she raised her head up and kissed his neck. "If my parents come home to find our clothes on the floor, we'd both be dead."

Manny thought about all the horrible things Chief Suarez would do to him if he ever found out that he had made love to his daughter in his own house after stripping her in the kitchen. He'd probably have him castrated. The thought made Manny immediately sit up, pushing Frida up with him. "Oh, God, I don't want your dad to-!" He was cut off by Frida's lips placed over his. His eyes fell shut as he wrapped his arms around her waist for what felt like the millionth time that night.

She pulled away and got out of bed, pulling him up with her. "C'mon." she giggled and led him out of the room, hand in hand.

After they gather there clothes and put fresh ones on, they curled up on the couch together and put on a movie, no longer in the mood for video games. He glanced up at the clock. 7:56.

"Hey, Frida?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"What time is that ceremony thing ending?"

She thought for a moment. "They said around 11. Why?"

He smiled. "That's enough time." He said as he turned the TV off and tackled her to the floor.

………………………………………………………….

The end!!!

Wow, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be! It took me like four days!!... Goodness, this is the second lemon I've written… I got good reviews on my last one, so I decided 'What the hell?' I probably got a lot of things wrong though. I'm a virgin. A virgin who reads. And I'm proud to say that there are only two El Tigre lemons on the net. How do I know this, you ask? Because I wrote them! Trust me, I've looked for others. And I'm not a pervert for it! Society has totally ruined the 'love' part of the term 'make love'. When it's done for no other reason than love, sex is actually very pure. Yeah, I said it. Tell that to your parents when they catch you in bed with that hot model who lives next door.

Like I said, you can't ridicule me for this because if you actually sat through the whole damn thing, then you are just as much to blame as I am. Heavenly Father, I apologize for writing this. Please have mercy on my soul. Amen.

You brave souls who were able to read through the whole thing without dying by chronic blood loss through the nose, I salute you!

….Dear, God, that was a long author note.