A/N- NEW STORY!!!! this is the preface. It takes place about halfway through the story so don't be confused. If you're curious check out the second chapter.All Bella's POV carry on;]

I don't own anyyy of the twilight series:[ awhhh there's goes my dream

People have never failed to surprise me. I think that's where most of the shock has always stemmed off of. I once thought to expect nothing of the shallow souls and much too much from the genuine hearts. Wouldn't you too, though?

I never quite decided on whether I had expected more or less of Edward. I only remember feeling shock. Disappointment, even. I guess I could claim I'd expected more of him. But I know he'd done worse before . . . in a way.

The hole that still burned in my chest was unexpected. I'd led myself to believe that, after all the time I'd set between us, it would no longer pain me to think of him. How foolish. Not even I shoulder have expected the loss of my best friend and first love to leave me unscathed.

My brow furrowed in indecision. My mind hadn't drifted this dangerously far for a long range of time. Now that I was here, what would be the point in denying myself any more?

I slid off the edge of the bed and turned so I was kneeling at the foot of it. I inhaled deeply, chasing away the butterflies knotting up my gut. This was the first time I'd begun to feel my feet chill.

I tilted my head and looked into the messy depths of the underneath of the king sized bed. I hadn't ever focused on cleaning under this bed. I was afraid, I'll admit, of what my reaction would be if I ever cleaned this space of its contents. Would it bring me pain, anxiety, depression, loneliness? I suppose I was about to finally receive an answer.

Reaching past the dirt socks, dust bunnies, and what not, my hands collided with a thin cardboard box. Smiling nervously to myself, I pulled it into the light.

The shoe box looked much more aged than it really should have. Chewed in the corners by the mouse I'd been trying to get rid of, tattered at the opening from being rammed into by miscellanies junk. The random sploshes of color that had once marked the type of shoe's logo had faded and a thick layer of dust caked the top of it. I ran my finger along it, stopping halfway as the dust gathered quickly beneath my nail.

Hesitantly, I turned the opening of the box towards me and dug my fingers beneath the beat up cardboard. I weighed my decision hastily in my head. I knew that the moment I peered into the box's contents I'd risk the chance of my feet icing over. I knew that he didn't deserve that from me, after all he'd done for me. He'd perfected my broken life, making all the right decisions for me. He was one of those genuine hearts that I got m much, much more out of than even I had expected. I sighed. I had no reason to open the box, but I did anyway.

Five items burst out of the box as if they'd been piled up just anticipating the moment the box would be reopened. A yellowing letter, a promise ring, a folded up picture, a broken golden chain, and a small, black notebook. My hand mechanically swept across the notebook, the promise ring, the broken chain, and paused above the creased photo. I peeled it open.

My heart literally shattered. There was no part in my body that didn't begin to ache uncontrollably. Some part of my mind was boasting about how it had predicted this outcome, some part was screaming Bad! Put it away!,another part was thanking me feverishly for permitting myself this.

I didn't ogle over Edward's beautiful face, breathtaking crooked smile, or the look of utter contentment I mirrored on my face over the fact that his arms were wrapped around me. My hands had already began folding the tethered photo and were pushing it aside with the other four objects. I pulled the shoe box onto my lap.

I reached my hand in, knowing well there was only one other item in the small box. It was the largest and occupied most of the little space. A small, navy backpack, frayed around the edges with a broken zipper, slid out unwillingly. The same things were still enclosed in the largest pocket, three safety pins clipped along the side to prevent them from falling out. I held it midair, weighing it for a moment. It felt as right as it had in my hand when I'd first packed it, only for a completely different reason. Last time I'd been going through the motions of leaving, now I was considering going back. I slid the blackened straps over my shoulder, testing the feel.

My freed hand flew down and snatched the little black notebook. I flipped it over in my hand, then tossed it back and forth between them both.

"Hmm." I breathed. My brain was fogged, as always, with the difficulty of making a decision. I hadn't truly made my own decision in an uncountable amount of time. I wasn't complaining, I had always approved of them. "Hmm."

I acted on impulse. I felt adrenaline, a sensation I'd long forgotten, pump through my veins as I gathered the letter, ring, chain, and photo into my hands and dumped them into the navy bag. With the notebook still in hand, I rose myself from the floor and out through the living room and towards the front door.

I paused there and debated on whether I should leave a note. I'd long since done anything that would have caught someone by surprise, so there was no doubt a scene would corrupt if I left without any explanation.

I spun the thin diamond ring on my left ring finger–– a habit I'd developed whenever I was nervous. I glanced towards the notepad and pen near the phone.

Then, clutching the black notebook closer to me, I opened the front door wide and fled.

A/N- Yes I wasn't planning on putting this up until the weekend, but I had an unexpected snowday today! First chapter takes place before this. Let me know if you think this looks interesting!