Disclaimer - I don't own Supernatural that privilege belongs to the CW, Kripkeand Co. I'm simply borrowing them for a while but I promise I'll give them back when I'm finished but all the rest is mine. Also I'm making no profit, its just for fun and all standard disclaimers apply.
Thank You - I can't thank you all enough for reading, reviewing, altering and marking this fic as a favourite. When I finally managed to pluck up the courage to post this story, all those weeks ago (thanks to some gentle encouragement from blue peanut m and m) I never imagined that it would be so well received. Your support and kind words have played a vital part in my writing process, helping me in so many ways and for that I'm tremendously grateful.
To Harrigan who I consider to be the best beta to have graced this fandom, thank you so very much. Not only have you sacrificed many hours of your time to offer me advice and support but you have also shared your editing wisdom, while never once complaining when I worked you hard - which I did, quite often actually! You've taught me a great deal about my writing over the last few months and I really can't express how grateful I am. You really are a star and this fic truly wouldn't be what it is without your greatly valued input, so for that, and everything else, I thank you dearly. Go team, Waffle, go!
A/N - So this is it, the final chapter. I feel incredibly emotional and quite tearful that I've reached the end of this amazing journey. But I've had such fun writing and sharing it with you all and I hope that I can keep you entertained until the very last word. There's a little language warning here but that's about it. Here we go, I sincerely hope you all enjoy.
Bridging Distances
Epilogue
It was like hell on earth - an endless charcoal black expanse that stretched as far as the eye could see. Smoke still hung in heavy clouds over the horizon, clogging the air as the atmosphere struggled to swallow it down. But it was the utter silence that created the eerie ambience that surrounded the entire area.
There were no signs of life. No flora or fauna; it was a barren environment now. All that remained of a once flourishing forest was a handful of sporadically scattered tree carcasses that peppered the blackened soil with death.
Two crestfallen figures stood side by side, shoulder to shoulder in a hauntingly hollow silence.
It was hard to bear, seeing the disaster of what remained of the forest. In silent ruins. Not unlike their partnership lately, Sam thought.
But they had needed some closure. From all that happened, all they had suffered. So neither one complained how long it had taken to get here or how physically painful the car journey had been to their still recovering bodies.
So, here they were, together. And that was what really mattered because something good had to come out of all this, it just had to.
They continued their joint trance-like state, staring in bewilderment and disbelief at the scene in front of them. It would seem that it was always fire, a flaming murderous force that had stalked their family for over two decades.
"I think I remember most of it now," Sam said, tentatively breaking the silence.
"You do?"
"It was so hard, Dean. I didn't even know if you were alive. The thought of losing you, too, so soon after Dad. I - " Sam's voice broke.
Dean shifted his weight, a flicker of dormant compassion propelling him to take a step closer to his brother. But his bad leg caught on an exposed root and the flare of pain made him stop dead in his tracks. And then the moment was gone. Sam had control of his emotions again, was critically analysing the events. His time-honoured method of coping. While Dean's, of late, was silence and withdrawal.
"I think the creature - the Vedi - it affected my ability to think clearly," Sam continued. "To remember. I don't know how. But now I understand why those survivors we interviewed were so confused. I think it caused that." He hugged his sling to his chest as he shivered at the memory. "Maybe it was some kind of psychic vampire – feeding off the anxiety of its prey."
"Yeah. Sounds familiar." Dean admitted, "I felt…" what? Out of his mind with worry? And guilt? Dean Winchester didn't confess to emotions like those and his voice trailed off into silence.
And so here they were, back to the all too familiar territory of not talking. Sure, they'd had conversations in the hospital while they each recovered. They talked about the details of what went down while they were separated, how Dean had tracked Sam and come across the Vedi, how Sam had woken up alone in the clearing, confused and disorientated. But together they had managed to piece it all together, and had discovered that even though they had been separated, were miles apart, they had somehow also managed to work and hunt together.
But no mention had been made of the rest of it, the emotional turmoil part. The crippling side of the hunt which had brought to light the state of their broken relationship as brothers. They had been physically separated for nearly two days, and yet emotionally they had been apart for far longer. Both of them knew it and both were too afraid to voice it. Too afraid it was something that couldn't be fixed.
Sam took a couple of steps back and rested his weary body against the hood of the car, feeling a sudden sweep of exhaustion flow through his body. He wasn't quite healed yet, still had a lot of bruises and healing internal organs. His right shoulder was secured tightly by a brace and it might never be the same. Apparently he had weeks of physiotherapy to look forward to. It would be prone to dislocate again, if he continued hunting. And he didn't really have a choice about that, not with his crippling visions, and the Yellow-Eyed Demon still out there…
Sam watched from over his shoulder as Dean copied his action, sagging heavily against the hood and wincing slightly as he rubbed his injured thigh.
"You saw the Vedi as a Wendigo, right?" Sam asked softly, looking for some sort of approval to continue.
"Yeah. Still not sure why though." Dean rolled his shoulders, trying to loosen the sudden knot of tension.
"I think it could control what we saw – like a hallucination. It was playing with you. Distracting you, keeping you busy until it could feed," Sam rattled out, as he studied his hands nervously.
That was his tell, well one of them anyway. Dean knew there was more, something else that his brother needed to voice. "Why wait though? We were both in the forest," Dean asked, knowing that Sam needed to know the whys and hows. Dean had to admit that for probably the first time ever, he could appreciate why Sam felt that way. It wasn't all about curiosity and knowledge, it was also about security and protection.
"I think it could only feed off one victim at a time. The pit of blood allowed it to disorientate its victims as well as allowing it to fully absorb the energy it was feeding off." Sam paused before tentatively beginning again, "Dean, I er…when I saw the demon, it looked like you."
"It did?" Dean asked. Things began to click into place. "Guess that would explain why you seemed so confused when I found you."
"It said you were dead, Dean." Sam's voice hitched, his head lowered. "I thought you were dead."
That was new information to Dean. He knew all about that feeling, the fear and the dread. He'd thought he'd lost his brother, too.
"I've been thinking," Sam continued, "about the Vedi and everything else. The demon knew all about us, Dean, and it used that information to its advantage," Sam spluttered as he studied his hands. This growing rift had been pushing them further apart and even the Vedi had noticed and had used it against them.
"Yeah, I guess…" Dean shrugged, staring at his boots and not meeting his brother's eyes.
"And that doesn't worry you?" Sam asked, his frown tugging at his stitches. "It knew that wearing your face would bother me; it fed quicker because of that. I mean it would have killed us, both of us and all we did was make it easier!"
"Of course it bothers me. You nearly died and I…" Dean stumbled, all but shouting now as his temper flared fiercely. "What do you want me to do, Sam? Rewind time and change the past? Because I would if I could."
And that shook Sam. Hit hard. Dean had always shouldered the responsibly and blame for anything that ever went wrong and Sam should have been prepared for it, but he wasn't. Ever since their Dad's death it felt to Sam like Dean had a death wish, like he was intentionally putting himself in harm's way, all to prove a point. The point being that he wasn't worth the sacrifice, like somehow their Dad was worth more to the world than he was.
They sat there, lost in painful thoughts and recriminations. The silence was awkward and it hung heavily in the air and it was Sam who eventually waded himself through it, breaking free at the other side.
"I guess it really was lucky that we made it out of here, huh?" Sam asked, while taking another dumbstruck look at the burnt cinders of a once blooming forest.
"Yeah, we owe Bobby big time for that and for smoothing things over with the authorities. I have no idea what he said but that man is a master at spinning lies and tall tales. I know our rap sheet is pretty long and all, but a total forest wipe-out really ain't my thing." Dean quipped, his cocky smile faded as he caught a glimpse of the dark bruises around Sam's right eye and the tight lines of pain around the set of his mouth. Sam still couldn't even stand up straight, he was all hunched over like an old man. But it was the stiff way he held himself and the gasps of pain - despite the vast array of medications he was taking - that reminded Dean all too clearly, that this had been a close call. Too close.
Maybe they'd left the hospital too early - the kid did still looked like road kill. But Sam had been adamant about his desire to leave and Dean didn't have the heart, or the will, to say no. He knew Sam wanted out as much as he did and he could only guess it was due to the same reason. He hadn't forgotten who had found his Dad lying on the hospital floor. So yeah, maybe they'd left a little prematurely but it was for a good reason.
"But murder is your thing?" Sam retorted, dimples showing. He adjusted his position on the hood with a wince, which Dean caught out of the corner of his eye. Every time he saw his brother do that, he was back sitting by Sam's hospital bed. With nothing to do but wonder if his brother was going to be okay, or if this was goodbye.
"Hell yeah! You gotta aim high Sam, or what's the point. After St. Louis and that damn shifter, I have a reputation to uphold!" Dean added sarcastically and it was worth it too when Sam scoffed and he saw his brother's eyes roll in response. It really had been a long time since he'd seen Sam do that.
"So, the Vedi Demon's gone? I mean, Bobby checked, right?" Sam couldn't hide the slight quiver in his voice.
"It's gone, Sam. I think Bobby probably triple-checked, just to be on the safe side." Dean caught a spark of worry flash across the paling purple bruises on Sam's face and maybe something else which he couldn't quite identify. "Why? Is there something I should know? You going Haley Joel on me or something?"
"Hell no…I mean, I don't know. I just…I guess I really hate it here." Sam stumbled, and that was the truth. This place just brought back far too many bad memories because things weren't what they once were with Dean. They were just starting to get back what they had lost; to being brothers again and being here was just a big fat reminder of how screwed up they'd both let things get.
"You and me both," Dean agreed. Because if he never came back here again, it would still be too soon.
Sam shuffled uncomfortably on the hood, muffling a groan as he tried to ease the pressure in his lower back and then swung his gaze over to his brother. "Thanks, Dean."
The words rang with heartfelt emotion, and Dean whipped his head around to face his brother, brow creased in confusion. "For what, Sam?" Dean asked in disbelief, "I mean I screwed up here. If I had just listened to you then none of…"
"For finding me, Dean. For not giving up on me. For saving my life," Sam spoke softly, eyes wet, hair blowing gently in the wind. "For everything."
"You pretty much saved yourself, Sam. You ganked that bastard, not me." Dean felt an ache somewhere near his heart. He had nearly been responsible for the death of two members of his family, and Sam was thanking him?
"We talked about this, man, this wasn't all your fault. We both screwed this up, both of us. And we're both responsible." Sam sighed heavily as he continued, "We're a team, Dean. Sometimes you forget that."
"Yeah well, it won't happen again." Dean muttered, tone bordering on a reckless promise while he lowered his head and toed a few pebbles and stones on the gravelled road side. His head was spinning. If he didn't say what was on his mind right now, than he never would and he had promised himself, had silently promised Sam back in the hospital that he would.
And back to silence, Sam noticed dishearteningly. It's what they were used to now; a few honest and meaningful words would be spoken, a confession of sorts and then one of them would cave and change the subject. It was usually Dean, with some sort of smart aleck remark or sometimes a crude comment. Sam couldn't help but prepare himself for one right now, all the signs were there.
"Sam…" and that wasn't what Sam was expecting; it was so pained and he stared at his brother. Dean's head was raised but only just, like he was battling with its weight. Sam knew the look, even through the bruises and healing stitches, Dean had something to say and it must be important because he was clearly struggling with it.
"You were right…back at Bobby's…" and then Dean's face broke. Sam could see it all, the grief, the guilt, the pain, everything. It looked so out of place that Sam's breath caught in his throat and he swallowed a huge lump, "I'm not dealing with Dad's death…not at all."
And that was it. But it was all Sam needed, all that he had been longing to hear. And yet the reality of the words were hard to hear. He had no answer, no words of comfort. But they were side by side, together and Sam hoped that that was good enough. He knew there was more, there always was with Dean. But it was something, a step in the right direction and that's all that really mattered to Sam. To know that his brother trusted him to share it, no matter how small a part.
They sat there, on the shiny reflective surface of the Impala's hood, completely surrounded by the devastation and ruins of a hunt gone so wrong. And yet somehow, both of them felt like this was the beginning of mending was what broken, of bridging distances that had become insurmountable. Maybe, just maybe one day things would be okay.
XoXoX
It was a miracle. A fluke really. The very same downward wind that had helped to spread the raging fire had saved it, had pulled it upwind and tossed it away from the heat of the flames.
Somehow it had survived when the forest hadn't.
It lay there by the side of the road, flipped over in the wind as a black car zoomed by, blowing the dust and soot away and revealing the bloody fingerprints and smudges of dirt that covered it. The ink from the scratchy harried writing had bled into the printed typed letters. One edge of the page was frayed, like it had torn hastily out of a book.
But no one knew it was here, that it had survived and had been spared a fiery death. It had been forgotten, but maybe not for long.
The ritual the paper carried hadn't been finished. The cleansing spell on the back of the page hadn't been seen or spoken, hadn't been put into practice.
Therefore the forest was now a death beacon, reaching out to all the dark entities in the world that would listen, attracting evil like a moth to a flame. The forest was now wide open to anything and everything, a deep scar pulling the supernatural to it and it wouldn't be long before something answered the call and found itself a new home.
The End
A/N - Thank you so very much for sticking with me and my very first fic. I truly hope you've all enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it, it really has been a great pleasure! Your reviews and comments have kept me smiling throughout and for that I'm truly grateful. Take care everybody and thank you so much for welcoming me so warmly. Madebyme.x