*Disclaimer* I don't own any of the characters or the plot. Thanks so much to Cristina who reminded me of exactly what happened lol. Wow I know im too busy when I can't remember books!! lol.

He tricked me into talking to him and…. I don't know how it happened really but….. well we… kissed."

"Oohh?" Tally could tell that Shay was wondering how that mattered.

"We kissed and for a few moments it was so wonderful Shay, but then" her voice broke. This was the part that haunted her, that she knew always would. The part that she wanted to keep to herself.

"Then what happened" Shay asked her tone full of pity.

"Oh Shay, every one always thought I was so strong. I'd managed to cure myself once surely I could do it again, right? That's what Zane thought. What we'd been talking about but, this -- being special, it's too strong. Part of me wanted to be close to him, to forget what I am and make that kiss last forever but, the special part, was stronger. He stroked my cheek and I felt his trembling and I couldn't take it. I had to get away, but he wouldn't let go of me so I cut him. I cut him Shay, I made him bleed, and then I jumped into the ocean and hid until he went back to camp. I couldn't face him Shay I knew he must hate me, and I don't blame him. I was awful to him."

"Oh Tally, I'm so sorry. But, I don't see what that has to do with what's happened to him…"

"You remember what the doctor said about why he's like this. He tried to push the limits, to not only get back to normal, but to be better than he ever was, to be more like a special. Shay he did it because of me, because I couldn't stand seeing him like that, weak and trembling."

"Ohh," Shay sighed. "Oh I see."

"But it's not like that now Shay, I'd give anything to have him back. Even trembling and broken, even if he hates me which he surely will. I don't care if he wont forgive me I just, I have to see him awake, alive,"

Her voice broke on the last word and her eyes filled the tears she had almost forgotten she could shed.

"You will Tally, don't worry," Tally couldn't understand the pity she heard in her friends voice, she had expected Shay to be disgusted with her as she was with herself. To insist that stopping the war was more important than her own selfish needs. "I'll go back. I'll stop the war."

Ahhh I love a good cliff hanger lol.