A/N: I started this a million and ten years ago and immediately came up with like two thousand words. Then I got complete writer's block near the end and couldn't get anymore out. Finally, I got a little burst of inspiration and got another thousand or so words out. Now it's finished. Not sure what I think about it but here it is. Honestly up until the actual poker and convo part I like it, not sure about the end. Anyway, enjoy! R&R! Thanks! –Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars.
Ace Up My Sleeve
Another year had passed and summer was coming to an end. After her dad lost the election, Veronica felt leaving him for the time required for the FBI internship would be the wrong move for them both. So she declined the offer and stayed in Neptune. Her relationship with Piz eventually faded and they parted ways amicably, deciding it was best to just be friends. She still saw him once and awhile at Hearst and around town once they broke for summer before he headed home. Every now and then Wallace had invited him along when they went out, and when they had to be in contact with each other they were civil, but their friendship was never the same as it was before they were romantically involved. Most of the summer she was helping her dad reestablish Mars Investigations and spending quality time with Backup watching reruns on network TV. Mid-June she had received a call from Logan, for no particular reason save for he was bored. Dick was off doing God-knows-what and Logan was stuck at the Grand all alone. Although she hadn't spent much time with Logan since her vehement declaration that he was out of her life and his subsequent apologies to both her and Piz, she agreed to meet him at the beach to spare him an agonizing death by boredom. The day at the beach became a turning point in their relationship—they had hit rock bottom months before and were finally getting back on track.
In the months following that day at the beach, before they started back up at Hearst, their relationship had gradually healed itself into a steady friendship. Now that they were back on campus together, seeing each other nearly daily, they were getting even closer. With her dad waist deep in case files—business was booming because really who could trust Vinnie Van Lowe with anything—Veronica spent much of her time in Logan's room at the Grand. One could find her day or night curled up on his bed, books spread out around her, hair tied back and back bowed as she studied. Though Logan was usually quietly studying for his own classes and they didn't interact much, she was more comfortable there than sitting home alone with only Backup for company while her dad slaved away at the office. Veronica was continuing to work in the library and many times Logan would visit her, opting to study or work on a paper in the library, and wait for her to finish. There wasn't much they didn't do in the company of the other. It was different for them this time. Before they had always been together or in-between bouts of being together. This was the first time they had gone from nothing to friends.
Of course, it wouldn't be long before that changed. Logan had decided long before, it was inevitable that it would come back to Veronica. She was the one and only love of his life—no one else came close to what he felt for her, not even Lilly. Even though he was certain those feelings would never go away, would never fade, he was more than happy to follow the 'just friends' routine because at the very least she was in his life. It was a step up from her cutting him out of her life completely. However, he knew that eventually they would get to that point in their relationship where being just friends wouldn't work anymore. They always had in the past, he had no reason to believe otherwise about this time, and as far as he could see they both still harbored some feelings for each other. The feelings Veronica had denied herself the opportunity to believe in, as she had done since that first kiss at The Camelot.
This all came to a head when Halloween rolled around. There was a huge party at one of the fraternities and somehow, Dick had talked Logan into going, so in turn Logan had to beg Veronica to come as well. She caved only after being assured that Wallace and Mac would be attending as well. Veronica would have been content to avoid the whole frat party scene, but the puppy dog face that Logan put on was too much and she controlled her complaints. On the night of Halloween, Veronica donned a second hand trench coat, a Sherlock Holmes style hat and pipe and not much else. When she arrived at the party, she scanned the room for a familiar face. It didn't appear that Wallace or Mac were there yet. She did spot Logan on the opposite side of the room, obligatory red plastic cup in hand. She started toward him, pushing through the crowd of girls in bits of fabric that should not qualify as costumes or meet the requirements for decent exposure, and guys in more gory makeup than was necessary—all of which were in the midst of dancing, drinking or attempting to do both simultaneously. As she approached, Logan looked up in her direction and caught sight of her, a smile working itself onto his lips. He said something to the person he had been talking to, and then headed over to meet her halfway.
When they were standing right in front of each other, Veronica did a little twirl to show off her costume, "What do you think?"
"Sherlock Holmes," Logan chuckled, "Don't you think that's a little…predictable?"
"Hey, it's better than Nancy Drew. And at least with this I get to break out my pipe. I've been saving it for just such an occasion," Veronica shot back, holding up the pipe before bringing it to her lips. Referring to his attire of t-shirt and shorts, she asked, "So, did you blow off the whole costume requirement? Or are you pulling a Rachel and going as yourself?"
"No," Logan shook his head, gesturing at the words screen printed on the front of his shirt. "Clearly, I am Dick."
"'Smile, it's the second best thing to do with your lips,'" Veronica read aloud, "Hmm, you're right. You are Dick."
"Pretty clever, right?" Logan smirked, laughing to himself.
"Dressing up as your roommate for Halloween? It's been done before," Veronica responded offhandedly, "And the shirt? I bet you stole it from his closet."
"You got me!" Logan exclaimed, "Another case solved. You never fail to figure me out, do you Ronnie?"
"Honestly, Logan," Veronica's voice lowered, turning serious, "I don't think I've ever been able to truly figure you out."
Her words remained with Logan for most of the night—reverberating through his mind long after the conversation was over. He hadn't known how to respond to that, because when he really thought about it, he believed she was the one person who had ever really known him. Sometimes it scared him that he had let someone get that close to him, but with Veronica he hadn't really had a choice. She crept into his heart and put her mark on every inch of him—mind, body, heart and soul. For her to say that she couldn't figure him out, threw him for a loop. He didn't understand it. He wanted to ask her what she meant by it, but he couldn't find the nerve to do so. Instead, he tried to enjoy the party—downing drink after drink, and trying to ignore it at which he failed miserably.
By the time the night was drawing to a close, Logan couldn't take it any longer, he had to ask—plus he had drank enough to no longer be directly aware of the consequences this conversation could have. Veronica had a tendency to run when she felt things were getting too deep, too intimate, and sober Logan would have considered the fact that he was just barely getting on steady ground with their friendship. However, he wasn't sober and his curiosity was getting the best of him. He hadn't seen her in about twenty minutes, she had run off to find a fresh drink with Mac and he had gone in the opposite direction trying to put some distance between them for the time being. Now he sought her out, searching every face he passed, trying to pick her out of the crowd. He found her sitting tensely on a couch, her attention focused at the group of people dancing on the opposite side of the room from her. A glance in that direction revealed to Logan what had her on edge. Piz had arrived at the party with Wallace, who apologized profusely saying he didn't know his former roommate would be coming and that Piz had been invited by someone who worked at the radio station with him. Veronica hadn't been too pleased about her ex's presence—the look on her face when he had walked in was enough to tell him that—though she continued to say that it didn't bother her at all that he was around. Currently, Piz was dancing rather close with another familiar face. Logan wasn't all that surprised to see that it was his own ex shimmying to the beat with him. It was Runner-Up meets Second-Best with the match up between those two. At least, that's how Logan saw it. Parker had been the closest he could find to a substitute for Veronica, and he hoped that was what Piz had been to Veronica.
With a shake of his head, Logan turned away from them and back toward Veronica. He didn't need to be distracted by auxiliary players in the relationship between Veronica and him. When he reached her, she looked up at him and smiled, but he could tell it was forced. He leaned in close to speak into her ear, so she would be able to hear him over the music playing.
"Can I talk to you for a minute? Where it's quiet?" Logan asked. Instead of giving a verbal answer, which likely wouldn't be heard, she nodded.
Logan led her through the crowded party and out onto the front lawn. There were a few stragglers hanging around out on the grass, drinks in hand, but it was the closest thing to privacy they were going to find without leaving the party. Once outside they drifted down a little farther, to a more secluded patch of grass. Opting not to stand, Veronica dropped down to sit on the grass, her legs crossing Indian style, and looked up at him expectantly. He slowly took a place next to her on the grass, their knees brushing together slightly from the proximity. For a moment, they silently watched the sky, the stars twinkling in the night and the moon shining down on them.
Then Logan shattered the silence with the question he couldn't leave unasked, "Why did you say you had never been able to figure me out?"
Veronica frowned, staring at him like he had asked the most ridiculous question she had ever heard, "Because it's true. You're more of a mystery than anyone I know."
"No it's not," Logan shook his head, "You're the person that knows me best…You're the only person who knows everything about me."
"Logan," Veronica responded, "I know a lot about you, but that doesn't mean…"
"I know you better than anyone," Logan replied, "And that's because I'm the only one you let in."
Veronica was quiet. Logan could tell she was about to change the subject. Part of him wanted to stop her because he knew this was a conversation they need to have eventually, but he knew she wouldn't let him, so he didn't even try.
"Why is it that the guys I've dated with always wind up chasing Parker?" Veronica questioned suddenly.
"Speaking as one of those guys," Logan answered, "Because she's a cheap knockoff of you, metaphorically speaking. That's my reasoning at least; I couldn't have you…so I found the person that was close enough that I didn't miss you as much."
"Logan, you've been drinking," Veronica stated simply.
"It didn't work, you know?" Logan continued, "I tried really, really hard…but I never stopped missing you. You've missed me, haven't you?"
"Logan…" Veronica looked away, her voice lightly threatening. She didn't want to talk about that, but he wouldn't stop.
"I miss you, Veronica," Logan said softly, "And I know you miss me."
Before he could stop himself, he leaned over and brought his lips to hers. For a moment, he thought she might kiss him back. For a moment, she let him kiss her, and then she gently pushed him away. He tried to say something, but she just waved it away without a word. In fact, not a word was spoken about the kiss at all. After that night, neither brought it up or even acknowledged that it happened. Perhaps it was better that way, but Logan didn't believe that. The only thing that could be better was having her back in his arms, having her be his again. That's what he wanted, and a part of him knew that's what she wanted to—she was just too afraid to admit it to herself. It was going to change—she would admit she missed him—he would make sure of it.
It was Christmas before they knew it. Veronica was looking forward to a quiet Christmas at home with her dad and Backup, so, of course, something had to go wrong to ensure she didn't get what she wanted. To make ends meet, her dad took every case that came his way—including the most recent bail jumper high tailing it toward Mexico, two days before Christmas of all times. He assured her that he would be home by the day after Christmas, two days after at most, but that meant she would be on her own for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Suddenly, Veronica loathed the holidays with a passion—because being alone did not enthuse her when holidays were fundamentally designed to rub in your face the ideas of family and tradition, togetherness and compassion for your fellow man—they were so overrated.
Across town, Logan wasn't faring much better. Since neither he nor Dick had any family to speak of in the area, Dick had decided that the only plausible thing to do on Christmas Eve was to throw a blowout, let's-get-smashed-and-make-fools-of-ourselves-in-celebration-of-the-birth-of-Christ, Christmas Party. Logan would have rather sat in the solitude of his room and not come out until Neptune had ushered in the New Year. But alas, Dick had his plans and soon Logan found the suite overran by dozens of girls scantily clad in red and green, frat boys in Santa hats getting an early start on the ho, ho, hos; and enough alcohol to inebriate both the Clauses, all eight of the original reindeer and Rudolph too, and an entire workshop full of elves. On a last minute whim Logan called Veronica to invite her to the party. At first, she hesitated but she eventually agreed. She wasn't much in the mood for a party, but it was better than being alone on Christmas Eve.
Since the kiss at Halloween, things had been different between Logan and her—kind of shaky and uncertain. It was like they were perpetually moving toward that place—that place where they seemed to always end up, together—and they couldn't control it, they couldn't stop it. Eventually they were going to reach that destination, and Veronica was afraid she wasn't going to be ready when they did. However, she was past trying to avoid the inevitable. She was stubborn, but she wasn't above accepting that fighting it would be an impossible battle that even the all mighty Veronica Mars couldn't win.
When Veronica stepped out of the elevator she could hear the music pulsating from inside the suite. The party was in full swing. With a sigh, she clutched her bag tighter and headed inside. Upon entering the party, Logan was no where in sight. As she moved further through the suite, she passed a girl in skimpy Santa suite making out with a guy in a green shirt that read "Santa's Little Helper" and Veronica had to repress the urge to gag. After making a round of the room with still no sign of Logan, she noticed the light coming from under the door to Logan's room. She pushed open the door slowly and peered inside. Logan sat on his bed flipping through a magazine. He looked up at the sound of the door opening and his eyes lit up as he recognized who it was.
"Ronnie, you came!" Logan exclaimed.
"That I did," Veronica responded, "What are you up to? I thought you would be out enjoying yourself at the party."
"Eh, it wasn't really my idea," Logan shrugged, "If I had it my way, I would having a nice, quiet Christmas Eve on my own."
"Being alone isn't all it's cracked up to be," Veronica replied, "My Dad's out of town and the empty apartment is unnerving."
"That's why I invited you," Logan leaned forward as he lowered his voice.
Veronica only smiled in response. Not ready to go down that road just quite yet. She put down her bag and crawled up onto the bed next to him, "So, if we're not going to go join the rowdy celebration of our Lord's birth, what do you have to do back here?"
"Nothing exciting," Logan answered. "I think I have a deck of cards somewhere. We could play a little poker or something."
"Sounds fun," Veronica said.
Logan pulled open one of the drawers in his nightstand and produced a box of cards. Veronica moved over so there was room between them for Logan to deal. He shuffled the deck a couple times, the cards slipping through his fingers. He held the deck tightly as he cut it a few times, his eyes holding steady on Veronica. He sat the freshly shuffled deck down between them.
"So, what are we betting?" Logan asked.
"I don't know if I have that much money on me," Veronica replied. Then seeing a glint in Logan's eyes, she added, "But don't you dare suggest strip poker, I refuse."
Logan smirked, "It wouldn't be anything I haven't seen before."
"I refuse," Veronica repeated more firmly.
"Fine, fine," Logan responded reluctantly, "Then something non-monetary that doesn't involve the removal of clothing."
"Depends on what it is," Veronica said.
"Okay, I've got it," Logan began. He found that this was the moment. They were right on the outskirts of that place and this was his chance to push them along. "Best three out of five. If I win, we have a real, honest talk about what happened on Halloween."
Veronica hesitated, swallowing hard, before softly asking, "And if I win?"
"I let it go and completely forget it ever happened," Logan answered. "So, do we have a deal?"
"I," Veronica took a deep breath, "I guess so."
"Okay, you want to deal the first hand?"
After four hands of playing, they were tied with two wins each. Veronica dealt out the last hand and they each took a moment to look at their cards. Logan asked for two, placing his discards back down on the bed. Veronica needed two as well, and placed her discards down. She set down her remaining cards and dealt out two new cards to Logan. Then she dealt herself two cards and picked up her hand. After a moment of consideration of their new hand and some shuffling and rearranging of the cards, they prepared to reveal what they had.
"Okay Logan, what have you got?" Veronica asked.
Logan spread out his cards on the bed in front of him, "Full house. Beat that Mars, though I know it has to be unlikely that you will."
Veronica took in Logan's victorious smirk and took a second look at her cards. She dropped her cards facedown on top of the rest of the discarded cards and looked Logan right in the eyes, "You got me."
Logan let out a little whoop, "I knew it Ronnie. I knew I would win against you eventually. And you're so smug. You thought you had these superior poker skills and I was no match. This is what happens when you get overly confident."
"You can stop rubbing it in now Logan," Veronica replied dryly.
"Okay, I'm done now," Logan nodded, "So…about my prize…"
"What happened on Halloween was sort of inevitable. We can't be around each other for long before one of us, namely you, go there. But there's a reason we haven't spoken about what happened before now—" Veronica began.
"Yeah, you've been avoiding it like you always do," Logan cut her off.
"You never brought it up either, you know. But it's not because I was avoiding it, it's because every time we get together it's as if a self destruct button has been activated. When we're together it's great for awhile and then we begin to unravel at the seams. All we end up doing is hurting each other."
"So, that's us! We fight and we break up, but we always get back together. Always," Logan exclaimed, "Veronica, we can't be without each other. That's how we are. We're meant to be."
"Logan," Veronica shook her head, "I don't know if I can do it again."
"This is what we do Veronica. We have to fight to end it and we have to fight to begin it. It's never been easy and it probably never will be. But, honestly, I think it's worth it because I get to be with you. Nothing can compare to that…" Logan moved forward, knocking the cards all over the place, and took Veronica's hands in his. "I know you didn't even want to have this conversation and would have walked right out of here without looking back if you had won the hand, but I really think I need to say this to you. Because I love you Veronica and I will never stop loving you. You can walk away right now if you want, but I needed to say that."
Veronica met his intense gaze and with one last sigh leaned up and kissed Logan with all she was worth—because she had already made the decision despite all she had said. She made the decision when she laid down her winning hand and let Logan believe he had the ace up his sleeve. Veronica Mars never lost a game of poker, and she hadn't lost that Christmas Eve. She was certain she had won when Logan's arms wrapped tight around her waist to drag her closer. Perhaps they had both won.
A/N2: Not sure about that ending, but there you go. The part where she lays down a winning hand on purpose was kind of inspired by the Friends episode where Ross lets Rachel win because she was having a bad time and it made her happy. Anyway, now that you've read, please review! Thanks! -Mac