Siegfried Schtauffen was sitting in his new suburban home, munching on some cereal, reading the paper, overall having a very peaceful morning. Being done his wheaties, he pushed aside his bowl and picked up his stack of unopened mail. "Bill, bill, invitation for a fight to the death, bill… puppy and baguette stationary?" He shrugged and opened it. It read as the following:

Dearest friends from our quest of fate:

Although I regret to say, not all of us have been on good terms. We've fought, pushed people off cliffs, freakishly stalked people, and done many more… unfavourable things. But I don't believe it means we can't all be friends! I am inviting all of you to my mansion this Saturday at 2:00 pm for a little party celebrating the destruction of (or mourning the death of) Soul Edge! Please bring a dish of a sort, as we will be having a potluck! I hope you can all come!

Yours sincerely, Raphael and Amy Sorel

As soon as he finished reading the last word, Hilde, his new girlfriend, burst in through the front door with a huge smile on her face. "OMG Siggy, did you get Raphael's letter? Are you going? I'm gonna make a Bundt cake!"

"Well, I dunno…" Siegfried replied, putting down the letter."Hey- how did you get in here anyways?"

"I picked the lock." Hilde then scowled, "You know, just because you were possessed by an evil sword, slaughtered thousands of people for power, causing some agonizing ideal for almost everyone you encountered doesn't mean everyone hates you! Go and have fun!"

"No, I just don't like Raphael."

"Oh, sure you do! You just don't try!"

"No, I tried."

"Not hard enough! Anyways, you're going if you want to or not!"

"Wait a minute- you picked my lock?!"

"That doesn't matter! Let's go make a feast!" she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to his kitchen. But after discovering he lives off wheaties and diet water, she dragged him to her house.

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"Ooooooooh Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamy!" Raphael sang, dancing around his mansion, feather duster in hand. "Won't this be great? All the friends we met on our journey here with us! Oh, it will be so lovely!"

"We didn't make any friends." Amy replied bluntly. Raphael stopped dancing and turned to stare at her.

"Oh, but they will be!" he corrected. Amy rolled her eyes and went back to playing on her DS. Raphael, just noticing her DS, frowned. "Those will melt your brain, you know," he took it and shut it off, which caused her to lose 2 ½ hours of Animal Crossing and causing an unavoidable visit by Mr. Resetti. She scowled and pulled out a lighter.

Raphael commenced ignoring her, also ignoring the fact she was playing with a lighter and playing a lovely game seeing how much she could singe the couch threads before they started on fire. He was singing and dancing again instead.

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"Ummmm… Hilde?"

"Yes, Siggy?"

"Don't you think this is enough food for people to choke dow- Imeaneatwithsavourydelight!"

"That was an odd statement, but do you really think so?"

Siegfried stared at the black, crunchy, mushy, disintegrated lumps of what was supposed to be food, and said, "yes, dear. We need to leave room for other's food, after all." Hilde was not a very good cook.

"I guess you're right… hey- how are we going to refrigerate this?"

"I don't think refrigeration will make this any less toxi- Imeandelicious!"

"Another odd statement, but I guess you're right."

"Also, how are we going to carry all this?"

"Well, we could hire a moving company?"

"Somehow I don't think that would end well…"

"Oh, ok."

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"Amy! Are you cooking something?" Raphael called from his room.

"Why?" came her hasty reply.

"Oh, nothing… I just think I smell burning."

"Umm… I think our neighbours… house… is burning?"

Raphael looked out his window,"Oh hey, it is! Never mind then!" he went back to his cleaning, ignoring the flaming house.

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Amy stared at the direction the voice came from for a moment before questioningly looking out the window. She stared at the blaze and couldn't believe her luck. The scent covered up the burning couch until she got the fire out. Turns out her little "game" wasn't such a good idea. Finally, the couch was just wet, smoking, and burnt. She frowned upon realizing how noticeable it was, but easily fixed it by flipping the cushions and throwing on a couch cover. Much better.

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"Oooooooooooooooooooooh Sieeeeeeeeeeeegfrieeeeeeeeeeed!"

"Yes, Hilde?"

"What colour should I wear? The carnation pink, blush pink, true pink, hot pink, dusty rose, coral pink-"

"How about the-"

"Shush! I'm not even through the pinks yet! Now where was I… oh yes! Cerise, apocalyptic pink, carnation pink, amaranth pink, lavender rose…" Siegfried sat in bored silence as Hilde listed off the colour of each of her dresses. Finally, after about an hour, she finished: "envy green, jade, forest green, pigment green, shamrock green, or emerald green?"

He snapped out of his near comatose state, "Umm… I think the-"

"I'll wear the cream one! Thanks!" she started shoving all her dresses back into her closet. Siegfried resisted the urge to smash his head- or hers- into a wall. Hilde suddenly turned around in the middle of putting a hot pink dress away-- turning so fast it whipped off the hanger and went sailing off the window, landing perfectly on some blind wangster. Somehow he didn't notice the fact he was now wearing a hideous pink dress. "Oops. Anyways, we should dress you up!"

"…I hope you're not serious."

"I sure am!" She pulled him up by his collar and dragged him out the door.

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"Wow, you have no suits? Are you kidding me?" Hilde asked, standing outside his closet, "Unless, ew, what is that?" She held up a hideous tie-dye and sequin suit from the 80's. Siegfried stared in horror. He thought he had burned that years ago. "Well, I'm not letting you wear that. Let's go to Wal-Mart to buy you a suit!" she grabbed him by the collar again dragged him out the door. His neck was getting quite sore.

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"Amy, would you move our precious vase made by my great godmother passed down through the Sorels for generations up to my room? I'd hate for it to get broken!" Raphael shouted from somewhere in the library.

" 'kay," Amy carefully picked up the vase and slowly started carrying it up the long spiralling staircase. She only had a few steps left when… her boots got caught on a carpet thread, causing her to trip and fall, the vase flying up and smashing on the upstairs floor.

"Amy! What was that?"

"Nothing! Just… uh…" she threw a rock through a window, "A pigeon flew into the window!"

"Oh tea and crumpets. Twice? I heard two smashes."

"Uh… yes!" she threw two rocks at two different windows at the same time. "Damn, again!"

"Ugh. I have a rifle in my room; take it and kill those damn birds. I'll phone a window repair man."
" 'kay!" She swept up the pieces of the vase and quickly carried them to her room, hiding them in her closet. She then rushed to Raphael's room, grabbed the gun and shot blindly out one of the broken windows,

"SKRAAAAAAAWK!"

Amy looked up in horror, afraid she accidently shot a bird. It turned out it was only Yoshimitsu. He made a weird noise when he was shot and tumbled to the ground. Thankfully he got up and stumbled away.

"…I think they're dead!" she called down.

"Good!" came Raphael's reply.

Amy returned the gun, and cautiously made her way down stairs. She passed the kitchen and saw Raphael and two maids cleaning in there. She made her way to the living room and noticed the couch smelled like burning. She dowsed it in a bottle of Febreze, then cautiously went out the door-

"Amy! Where are you going?" Raphael came from the kitchen, dusting his hands on a frilly apron.

"I'm going to… er, buy tampons!" she ran out the door. He wouldn't follow her after that.