Summary: Set after the Messiah Complex, during the Legacy arcs. Remy plays the waiting game after Rogue leaves, question is: how long can he stay away from the love of his life? And will he be able to keep his promise? Oneshot.
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men, nor am I affiliated with Marvel in any way.
Author's Notes: Just delving into Remy's mind on this one. The unresolved relationship between himself and Rogue plays on his mind as he does his best to abide by her wishes. It sort of bothered me that their reunion wasn't a very significant one at the end of the Messiah Complex. She wakes up from death and basically leaves, this oneshot focuses on all those unanswered questions and insecurities I imagine Remy would have had.
It was a matter of wasting time, keeping his mind occupied. She'd left him in that dungeon, going out into the world by herself.
"If you still care for me, Remy, don't follow me."
He could still hear her parting words clearly in his head as if they had just been spoken moments ago.
Any other time, he wouldn't have heeded her words and would have gone after her anyway, following her across the globe and until the end of time. She was the single owner of his heart, his life, and even his soul. He just didn't do well without her. He'd learned that the hard way, over and over. So many times over that he wasn't sure he'd learnt anything at all, except that he needed her.
In the end he always did. And he always came back.
He refused to follow her this time. She had asked him not to, and on account of him royally fucking up in the first place, he obeyed her wishes. Had he not been seduced by Apocalypse's power or convinced by Sunfire as to what his life should be, he would have been by her side and the entire tragic mess of her abrupt departure would have been avoided.
Guilt was something he came by easily.
He hadn't been gone from her that long; he had reasoned and argued with himself on a nightly basis. But it was long enough for her to fall on the cusp of death in his absence. Had he just stayed by her side, none of this would have happened. He could have prevented it somehow—the virus, Pandemic, the Hecatomb, all of it. Even now he had no idea what he would have done to stop it, but for her, he would have.
When she had needed him the most, he wasn't there. It was a common occurrence in his life—to arrive too late. It was another common occurrence to constantly let her down.
That was why he didn't follow. He would obey her one, simple wish in hopes that she'd see. See just how much he was sorry. Sorry enough that he'd stay away. Sorry enough that he'd do whatever she asked.
Anything.
If she named it, he would do it.
He had purposely lost track of her. It killed him not knowing where she was, who she was with, or even what it was she was doing. Still, he maintained his promise and had not used his resources to track her down.
He believed when she was ready, she would come back. Problem was, with no more X-men what was she supposed to come back to? Where was he supposed to wait for her?
He thought about all the places she might look for him when she came back. New York? Valle Soleada? New Orleans? He ultimately decided on New Orleans. With the X-men disbanded and his pretense as a Marauder revealed only as ruse to save the woman he loved, he had nowhere else to go but home. She could find him easily there.
At least if she wanted to.
He shuddered. It was hard not to think like that. Like she wasn't coming back and it was all over. For the sake of his sanity, he had to believe she would return.
Days turned into weeks, and still no word. He kept his ear low to the ground, following every bit of information or snippet of gossip he heard. Until one day, he came across something very interesting—something that would occupy his mind until she came back.
He had intercepted information concerning a hit from the Assassins, a hit that was put out on a presumed dead man.
A dead man he had known.
Charles Xavier.
Had it not been for Xavier and his dream for mutants, Remy would never have met Anna.
Remy had a purpose again. He promised he wouldn't track down his beloved Rogue, but nothing was stopping him from tracking down the man who could possibly find her. Not only that, Remy owed the man several things, including his protection. If Charles Xavier was alive, Remy intended to keep him that way.
He packed a few things and headed back to New York in search of the man who was supposed to be dead. It was a perfect distraction, to be busy again. It was also a perfect release to fight with his hands. Weeks of pent up anger and aggression came out to play when he'd finally tracked the Assassins to their quarry.
And sure enough, when everything was said and done, there was Xavier, alive and well, just as his stolen information had proved. It was then that Remy had ended up in the role of bodyguard in a bizarre, mysterious goose chase to unravel pieces of the Professor's past and help him right his own wrongs and injustices.
Remy had nothing better to do, he was stuck restlessly waiting anyway, and it was a good way to preoccupy his mind. He convinced himself that Rogue would find him regardless of where he was. Just like he would find her regardless of where she was...that was if he chose to break his promise to her and look.
Killing time was the hardest thing to do while playing the waiting game. Years of thieving had made the wait less aggravating. Waiting was an essential part of obtaining valuable objects. The wait was almost always worth the rewards. However, with this particular wait, he had no idea what the outcome would be. He knew what he wanted. It was simple and obvious.
Her.
His Rogue, his Anna. The love of his life.
The world for mutants was changing and he didn't mind the change so long as she was by his side. He wanted nothing more than to make things right again between them. Even now he regretted saying nothing when she awoke from the brink of death and climbed off that table. He wanted to profess his undying love and apologize a thousand times over for leaving her, but when her eyes opened, he could do nothing but back away and watch from the sidelines. Raven had overshadowed him with the crazy ranting of Destiny's diaries. It was ironic the similarities between himself and that woman—her mother. Both, he and Mystique were horrible people, and both were constantly vying for her love and forgiveness.
He had stepped back, remaining silent, his heart skipping a beat when Rogue had finally acknowledged him. He should have told her then. Should have held her in his arms. Instead, he let her go and remained silent, answering her questions and comments in a few strung together words.
He watched in silence as she turned her back on both him and her mother, her emerald cloak sweeping the floor majestically as she disappeared into the darkened hallway and out of his life for the time being.
"If you still care for me, Remy, don't follow me."
He often wondered if her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of him, like he was with her. Did she miss him wherever she was? Did she think of him?
Sometimes he was sure she did. They had a history, a bond, and none of that should or could be taken lightly. Both had loved and hurt the other so many times over and over in a cruel and often heartbreaking dance. But whenever the song finished playing, it was still a love song.
And it was still their song.
Other times he wasn't sure she thought of him at all. Didn't miss him and wasn't coming back. It was his guilt and insecurities coming out to play, based on the fact that he hadn't properly apologized, or confessed his undying love for her to her.
That she'd erased the song from her memory and started anew was his worst fear. She no longer had him in her head, so it made sense. All her memories of them were her own and how she remembered them. Did the good out weigh the bad? He wasn't sure anymore.
Denial was a favourite place for him to dwell. He liked killing time with Xavier, believing that he was doing something important. He probably was, but he felt like a puppet, going through the motions, letting someone else pull the strings so that he could disappear into his mind and think about her.
His days turned into mindless actions and playing follow the leader, all while thinking of her. Until one day, Xavier announced he had a found her in Australia and was going to see her himself. Xavier had his own reasons for going to her, and Remy suspected the man needed him to come along and play puppet once more, helping him gain access to, and contact with a woman who had made it clear she wanted to be left alone.
If anyone could get past her anger at being followed and tracked against her wishes, it was Remy. The chance to see her again was too enticing to resist, and puppet or not, promise or not, Remy was going.
He caught the plane to Australia and heard the music begin.
It was their song playing.
He was ready to start the dance and, just maybe this time, he'd be a better lead.
End