Disclaimer: see my profile

A/n this is what I imagine could happen to the terrible three. Of course it would never happen like this on the show or RL but I can dream. There are two cameos Josh Hollenbeck and characters from a cancelled show from last season called "Moonlight." Thanks to all my loyal readers, and to REIDFANATIC my ever faithful beta. And Editor Frog for her inspiration and letting me borrow Josh. You guys all rock.

Epilogue

Stark opened his eyes to bright sunlight over his head. It was burning hot and his throat was parched. He sat up, and nearly threw up, when his head and stomach heaved. There was something gritty under him. He blinked his eyes and saw that he was sitting in sand.

The sun was pounding down on him. He'd never been in heat that was like this. It sapped the strength from him so that he could hardly stand up. He climbed to his feet despite the heat and looked around. There was sand, but also hills and rocks. There were no houses, or buildings, or people for as far as he could see.

"Hey, where am I?" He yelled, or rather rasped out in a voice that didn't carry on the wind that was blowing.

He took a step and realized that his shoes were gone. The pounding in his head had blocked out the heat in the sand, but now he felt it like hot knives on the soles of his feet.

"Ow, God damn it." He tried to shout but his voice was nearly gone from thirst. He hopped from one foot to another like a small child on the beach in the middle of the day.

The big rocks to his left called to him with the promise of shade so he hopped as fast as he could. His feet felt like someone was holding them to hot coals. Sweat poured off his face and down his chin to his neck by the time he reached the rock.

He sat down on the rock, which was very hot through the thin material of his pants. At least his feet were off the hot sand.

He was further startled by the ringing of a telephone, but it didn't sound like his phone. He realized there was a large lump in his pocket. He pulled it out and opened the rather large satellite phone.

"Hello, you have to help me, I'm in the middle of some desert and there no one around."

"'ello Agent Stark. My name es Josh 'ollenbeck."

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"You weel be silent and leesin to me."

"No one tells me to shut up pal. Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I am a friend of Dr. Reid and Agent 'otchner. You know them, no."

"Yes…"

"You air en a place called Iran, just ovair ze bordair from Iraq."

"You're lying!"

"I assure you I am not lying. There are Iranian soldiers guarding ze bordair in the vicinity to you. I would hide eef I wair you."

"I'm not hiding. I don't believe you."

"Zen stay whair you air and you weel see."

"I'm a federal agent. I'll have you up on charges so fast -"

"Be quiet Agent Stark. You kidnapped my young friend and so I am leaving you in enemy terreetory. The Iranians weel love to 'ave you for a prisonair."

Stark began to tremble. He didn't recognize anything around him. Was it possible the he was truly in Iran?

"Look, it was all Strauss's idea. I was just doing what I had to do. They threatened me and my family."

"You don't 'ave a family. You air alone en thees world. No one weel miss you."

"Please…"

"No, I think I weel let you make your way home alone. Tell ze guards hello from me."

The phone went dead and when he tried to call out, it wouldn't work. He threw it down on the ground and stomped on it with his feet.

Suddenly from behind him, a man spoke in English with a heavy Middle Eastern accent "What are you doing here infidel?"

He turned and saw the two men holding machine guns on him. "I am -"

He was hit in the head with the end of one of the guns. He fell forward without a groan into the hot sand. They drug him away into the setting sun, and discussed how much they might get for him at market.

-----

Her eyes opened onto a very bright light over her head. The brightness made her eyes tear up and the pain in her skull beat like someone playing the drums in her head.

She sat up in the darkness and tried to find the light switch, but her hands wouldn't move. Something was holding her arms.

Her mouth and throat were on fire from thirst. Swallowing seemed to be almost impossible. She turned her head to one side and cried out in pain. Her voice was hoarse and it grated out of her throat like a door hinge in need of oil.

"Someone help me."

There was silence, but someone was there, she knew it. She turned her head to the other side and screamed when a rat squeaked somewhere in the darkness. Now she could hear water dripping in a slow rhythm somewhere to her left.

"Where am I?" She tired to snap out in her most demanding tone.

"Hello Section Chief Strauss," A voice spoke right next to her and she screamed.

"Who are you?"

"I wouldn't be so demanding if I were you."

It wasn't her husband and she wasn't in bed next to him. The smell of the place nearly made her gag. It was a familiar smell that she didn't want to contemplate.

The person holding her yanked her up onto her feet. "Please turn on the light."

"I don't think so. Get going human!"

The person drug her through the darkness. Something clanged shut behind her as they moved. Her right arm was in a vice grip so strong the tears came to her eyes. She stumbled and would have fallen had the person next to her not had that iron hand on her wrist.

He pulled her into a room that had a bright light over a large table. The table was empty but for a crimson table cloth and a candelabra in the middle.

"Welcome SC Strauss…" A voice said from the shadows.

There was utter silence but for what sounded like the impatient rustling of clothing. She tried to look around and was yanked up short by the person next to her. She turned her head toward him and saw that he was a perfectly ordinary man with unusual blue eyes.

"Who are you?"

"I'm your host." A rather handsome man with a slight build, and short brown hair stepped forward.

"My host for what!"

"Oh, Josh was right about you! You are a feisty one."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" But fear had made an icy nest in her heart.

"Josh is a good friend of mine. He literally saved my life."

There were hissing voices from the background. "My friends don't believe in being beholden to any human. In fact, I've told Josh my favor is repaid in full. But, I like him, so if he ever needed me to dispose of another meddling human, I'd do it for free."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" She repeated, but her voice was shaking.

The man came closer and she could see that he wore a black Armani tux. "You know exactly why you're here." His dark eyes were hypnotic.

"No, I don't know what you mean. You've kidnapped a federal agent. If you let me go now -"

"Oh, don't you know, you're not leaving here. You're the guest of honor at a welcome home party for my friend.

Someone stepped out of the shadows to her right. She turned her head; a woman with very dark hair and porcelain skin glided up to the man in the tux. She wore low cut red dress that hugged her voluptuous body and diamonds at her ears and neck.

"Let me introduce myself. My name is Josef and this is Elizabeth. She's a friend from my childhood that just came into town. This party is for her."

He nodded to someone in the shadows and music began. "I trust you'll remember this song."

"The Captain of her Heart," began to play and tears escaped her eyes. "I can see that you do. Josh was very upset that you targeted Dr. Spencer Reid. He considers the young man to be a friend and I think a bit of a son. As I told you, any friend of Josh's, is a friend of mine. You target my friends and I'm going to be very unhappy."

"Turn off the music!"

"Josh said you'd find this tune particularly 'inspiring,' although I can't imagine why. It grates on my ears."

The others stepped out of the shadows and hissed in agreement. They were all dressed in formal wear and they were looking at Strauss like she was prime rib.

"I'm sorry for the primitive surroundings, but our mutual friend asked me to be discreet with this dinner party."

"Dinner party? What are you talking about?"

"It's easy Section Chief Strauss… We're vampires and you're the main course."

Strauss tried to laugh over her heart which had begun to pound. She coughed hard and said, "You're nuts."

"You're not the first one to say that to me."

"I'm bored!" Elizabeth whined.

"All right, let's get on with this."

"Are you sure we can't turn her boss." Another man had stepped up to Josef's side. "From what Josh told you, she'd make a great vamp."

"No… we drain her and call the cleaners to deal with what's left."

"You're crazy," Strauss said.

"No, but we are hungry."

"You expect me to believe you're vampires."

"No, I expect you to be the main course."

He leaned in closer and she tried to pull away. "Get away from me!"

"Hm… AB negative… I haven't had that for at least a month."

"Stop!" Strauss screamed.

"Don't worry, it'll be over soon."

She couldn't see anything but his eyes that turned blue. She screamed again when his fangs flashed down and ripped into her jugular. She went silent when ten vampires drained her white. ---

Calloway snapped awake when something beeped right next to his ear. He was sitting up and the room was dark around him. A single light fell down on him from above and made the rest of the room seem full of wavering shadows.

Someone snapped something metal on metal against his arm. It held his arm to something next to him. He looked down and saw the arm rest of a metal chair. It was an old fashioned metal cuff that bit into his arm when he tried to move. He tried to move the other arm, but it was similarly restrained.

He tried to shift, but his legs were restrained too. His backside and his back were pressing into something hard and round. It was like sitting on several small metal balls.

"Good Eevening Agent Calloway."

"Who are you?" He demanded of the unseen voice.

"I em a, ''ow you sea,' a compatreeot of Agent 'otchner."

Calloway started to shiver. "I don't know any Agent Hotchner."

"Eet well do you no good to deny eet."

"Who are you?"

"Temper, Agent Calloway. I am 'ere to eenform you that we 'ave found Dr. Reid."

"Who's Dr. Reid?"

Whatever it was that he was sitting on was pushing into his legs, his butt and his back. He shifted as much as he could, but it didn't relieve the pressure that was becoming pain.

"You know 'oo Dr. Reid ees."

"Yeah," Calloway's thoughts were frantically running around in his head. If he admitted that he knew Dr. Reid… Well, everyone in the bureau knew him. It didn't mean anything. "Yeah, I know who he is. Tall, messy hair, looks like a strong wind could blow him away, thinks he's the smartest one in the room."

"Yes, that ees 'im."

"You said you found him." He shifted in his seat again and the pain increased ten times. He just couldn't get comfortable.

"Yes, we found 'im and thee young ladee. We 'ave all your partneers and Section Cheef Strauss."

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. Let me out of this chair and we'll talk."

He shifted again and it made the other side of his legs hurt worse than ever. Stabbing pain ran up and down his legs and back now in waves that was making him nauseous.

"There ees nothing to talk about… Eet ees ovair!"

Calloway saw a very large man walk out of the shadows. He stayed where the agent couldn't see his face. He began to speak, but Calloway was having a hard time following him. The pain was enormous and all encompassing.

"I can see that you air feeling very uncomfortable right now. You air seeting en what ees known as a "tramp chair." One hundred and twenty years ago een ze Northeeast, some poleece officairs would put some of ze trainseeant population en thees chair for a whole day. As you can feel, the more time you seet, the worse the pain. Soon you weel not be abel to feel your legs and back. When ze pairson en ze chair feenished his sentence, they swore to nevair come back to zhat town agaeein." What do you sepoose would happen eef I leave you 'ere for three days?"

"Please, I'll do anything!"

"Yes, I know you weell."

The large man moved away and the door opened. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Chao, Agent Calloway."

"NO!"

His scream echoed around the room and when the light went out he howled in agony. Only the shadows kept him company and the silence that didn't care.

THE END