Im sorry. Really, I am. I'm not sure who to blame for this one, but I know it's not me.

'Stop ogling Potter.' Draco said firmly. He stared hard into his mirror, eyeballing his, uh, eye balls. 'It is hard enough thinking up new and inventive insults without you distracting me by checking out his body.' Draco blinked then, and decided to take that as an acquisition.

'And when I say stop checking out his body, I mean stop staring at his eyes too. As beautiful as you two are-' and here Draco stopped for a moment to flutter his lashes at himself, confirming that he was indeed still beautiful- 'you know that that green sucks you in. I cannot argue properly whilst you are being sucked in by the green.'

'I could cope if you were glaring.' He huffed. 'But you're not! You're visually molesting him. And even Potter, the most clueless and naïve boy in this school, is noticing. You've obviously seen how red he turns when we're in the same room, and how uncomfortable he gets- it's because you're practically attacking him! He clearly suspects something.'

Draco paused for breath, now at a loss. How did one go about threatening his own eyes? He had considered glaring menacingly at himself, but that didn't seem to work. He'd thought about threatening to poke himself in the eye, but that was no good either. He knew that he'd never cause himself pain intentionally and anyway- that would lead to bloodshot eyes, and hello, ew? Red eyes? Far too Voldemort-esque for Draco's tastes. He'd even considered just ending the entire problem by walking around with his eyes closed, but that had just ended with him sprawled on the floor at Potters feet- and judging by Potters face, he'd found that as uncomfortable and embarrassing as Draco himself had.

'Look.' He sighed at the mirror resignedly, too tired to even flick his hair dismissively as he usually did in moments of exasperation. 'I'm just going to assume that you agree with me, and will stop this nonsense, ok? And in return, you can picture Potter in my head as often as you like. Alright? Good.'