The Code for Boys

i.

'Hey, man, I'm glad you called.' There's a softness to Nate's voice and features and he inwardly sighs. The pity party has arrived and its sporting man bangs. 'Jeez man, how long have you been here? You smell like you've taken a bathe in scotch.'

He doesn't answer, and he doesn't let go of his glass either, even when it's flat on the counter.

Nate pulls out his cell phone and explains, 'I've got to call Blair; I said I would if I got any sign of you. She's been going crazy with worry. How come you haven't been answering your phone?'

He hates that he notices that Blair is on Nate's speed dial. 'How is it that you're dating someone else, yet Blair still has you under her thumb?'

Nate presses the phone to his ear, shrugs, 'she scares me.'

He takes the phone, hangs up, and hands it back to a confused Nate. 'Have a drink with me.'

'Uh, no, I think you've had enough, man. I'm going to take you home.'

Home. Does a hotel room pass for a home these days? 'Well aren't you my knight in shining armour? Just stay and have one more drink with me, come on, for old time's sakes.'

'You don't want to be hung over for the funeral tomorrow.'

'You're too late, like, six shots ago.'

'Listen, I know everything's crazy right now, but I want you to know...'

He makes a face and waves a hand in Nate's general direction. 'God, I told you not to hang out with that poetry-reading, doll-playing charity case across the bridge. He's turned you into a pansy! But I have the cure; a drink with your ol' pal Chuck Bass!'

He slams his hand down on the counter, attracting not just the attention of the bar tender but also that of several customers. 'Another round and one for him. Hey, why don't you just leave the bottle?'

ii.

In Bangkok, he looks up and it's like de ja vu, just in another country. 'So your jurisdiction doesn't just cover Manhattan, huh.'

'Hello to you too,' Nate attempts to pry the bottle from his fingers, but he doesn't remember inviting him for a drink and so he hangs on.

'Hey! Back off! Us orphans appreciate it more.'

'Yes, as the richest teen in New York you savour every last drop.'

'Bite me.'

iii.

Lately, he's been, like, morose, or something. And that's so not him. Nate's the King of the practised pout. Thing is, he caught himself standing at the window watching the rain. Ugh. When he refused to get out of bed, Nate called it the "fourth stage". 'Good, I though anger was going to last forever,' the blonde had muttered and he couldn't be bothered to reply.

He yanks up the volume and allows Beethoven's moonlight sonata to fill the room, lying back on the leather couch. When Nate enters, he pauses theatrically and arches a brow. 'Mozart? Seriously? Okay, look, I've got something I think might cheer you up.'

'Strippers?'

'Better.'

'Impossible.'

He narrows his eyes as Nate disappears, only for a second, before re-entering with a golden retriever on a bright red lead.

His lip curls. 'It's... a dog.'

'Her name is Carly and she belongs to Vanessa's sister, who said you could borrow her for a couple of hours. Come on, am I a genius or what? How can anyone not be happy around her?'

'Um, well, it's pretty easy to not be happy when you're dying from Brooklyn rabies! Come on, that thing grew up on the streets, it probably belonged to a drug Lord, it's going to kill me!'

'For the last time, Chuck, Brooklyn is not the ghetto and look, she's the sweetest, calmest dog ever.' Much to his disgust, Nate pats the couch beside him and the dog gracefully leaps up and curls its warm body against his stomach.

'Hey!' he addresses the lump of golden fur, 'I don't cuddle, especially if I get nothing in return, so if you're not putting out you can just...' he places his hand on its back in order to push it off and finds imaginably soft fur beneath his fingers. 'Huh.'

Nate smiles all too knowingly. 'I've got to go meet Vanessa. You two have fun; I'll be back in a couple of hours... And, for the love of God, don't, like, give her pot or anything.'

He stares at the dog and she stares back, eyes bright and intelligent. 'So, Brooklyn, huh? That's rough.' He scratches her ears and she lays her head on her paws, watching him.

When Nate returns Beethoven has been replaced by Zeppelin. Nate clips the lead to Carly's collar and Chuck turns away. Nate hesitates. 'You know, I could ask if you could hang on to Carly awhile longer. I'm sure Vanessa's sister wouldn't mind.'

'What are you talking about? Get that diseased mutt out of here.'

iv.

Nate's crashing on his couch. They both pretend it's all to with Nate having nowhere to go and nothing to do with Chuck needing someone to control his wild behaviour.

They play Gears of War 2 on the Xbox till three in the morning, the air thick and heavy with fumes that make the colours on the screen more vivid and their necks slick with sweat from the feeling of paranoia.

At the end of the first week, Nate decides to get parental. 'Get in the shower.' he orders as he pulls the plug on the TV.

'Are you finally agreeing to my Vegas idea?' Chuck sits up, hopeful.

'No, I invited Blair round, so let's open the curtains, call up the maids and make you presentable.' Nate draws the curtains and both of them squint in the glorious sunlight.

'You invited Blair? Why? You know what, I'm worried about you. Why the hell are you pushing your ex-girlfriend and your best friend together? What did your mother do to you? And you know what else? You didn't even punch me when you found out about Blair and I, that's weird man. You're weird. What happened to upholding the code for boys?'

'You seriously want to bring up the code for boys? The third-grade pact you broke.'

'Exactly, now get mad, punch me and uninvite Blair. I don't want to see her!'

'Well she wants to see you and she'll be here at noon so you'd better get a move on if you want to resemble a human being by the time she gets here.'

'I refuse to see her, in honour of the pact we made, swore on and has been the foundation of our friendship all these years. Rule number one; never choose a girl over your friend.'

'Quit making excuses. She's coming over.'

'You suck.'

v.

Nate stands awkwardly between Blair and Chuck. 'So...'

'I can't believe you!' Blair blurts out suddenly. 'I can't believe you've been ignoring me. I can't believe I've had to call Nate to get news on you, just to make sure you're okay, because you won't answer your phone or see me. I can't believe Nate had to invite me over. I can't believe you ditched New York without telling anyone where you were going. I can't believe you left a note on my pillow. I can't believe I say I love you and you say too bad. Too bad? I'll give you too bad!' Lightening quick, she kicks him in the shin.

'OW! See, I told you not to invite her over, she's dangerous!' he complains, wincing against the pain and rubbing his shin.

Nate shrugs. 'And I told you, she scares me. Besides you two need to work out your problems. And Blair? For the record, at Bart and Lily's wedding, Chuck told me he was in love with you.' With a grin to Chuck, Nate backs out for the door. 'I'll see you guys later.'

Blair turns to him, eyes wide. 'You did?'

Over her head, he sees Nate give him the thumbs up just before closing the door and scowls. 'No. Yes. It was... in the moment... the... I... slip of the tongue... the code for boys' he mumbles weakly, but she's not even listening anymore.

'I love you too,' she says confidently. 'Let's be together. I'm tired of games.'

Later on, when Nate returns, he finds a "do not disturb sign" on the door handle. Although a little grossed out, he's happy.

Hang the code.


1. Never choose a girl over your friend.

2. Always stick up for your friend.

3. Must like candy.

4. Must hate Mr Carson.

5. Never tell each other's secrets. (Or Never tell Bart it was me who broke the vase and not the maid.)

6. Must become an astronaut.

Signed Chuck Bass and Nate Archibald.