Life can change in a
single moment.
One breath.
And that's how it started.
Just
like that.
A gasp, and then "SH-SHIKAMARU! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!!"
And now, as she lays on the hospital bed, the sweat on her forehead making her dirty blond hair cling to her face as she scrunches it and pushes and grunts and does her best to bring their new life into the world, Shikamaru helps her remember to breath.
He whispers gentle words of encouragement the best he
can, knowing that he could never know her pain, but tries anyway.
He
never really was good at this kind of thing.
And she reminds him
of this as she squeezes the life out of his hand and scrunches her
face and pushes over and over again.
And he just stands and
watches.
Waiting.
15 hours into the process, and she was
still scrunching her face and trying not to scream.
But when the
last contraction suceeded, she slowly lay back on her pillow and
takes a deep, deep breath, loosening her grip on his numb
hand.
"Shikamaru," she says, her words breathy and panted. He
smoothly moves her damp hair from her face. "Don't leave
me…"
"Never."
And she looks into his eyes and knows
that this is true.
There isn't exactly comfort in his brown
eyes, but there is a promise.
And that was enough.
She turns
her head away from him, slightly more comforted, and grimaces in
pain.
"Ah! It wasn't nearly this bad with…Hatsune…"
Through
her face is contorted with pain, Shikamaru sees worry.
But it is
he who squeezes her hand this time.
"Breathe, Temari. Just
breathe." He begins to caress her hair.
And while she yells and moans through the pain, Shikamaru keeps reminding her to breathe.
Because that's all that life is.
A series of
breaths.
And somewhere between all the breathing and yelling,
there was a gasp for air, and then a cry.
The most innocent, and
beautiful cry in the entire world.
**********
"Oh,
Shikamaru. He's so beautiful." His mother sweetly puts her hand
on his arm, but he hardly notices because he's staring so intently
at the tiny miracle that is their son.
6 lbs. and 4 ounces.
Black,
black head full of hair.
Squishy face.
And he was so pink.
His
hand thoughtfully grasps his chin as he watches his child sleep in
his arms.
"He looks like you, you know."
He tilts his
head his mother's direction curiously and she wipes away the tears
and memories that have fallen from her soft doe eyes.
"6 lbs.
and 9 ounces. Head full of dark brown hair. He looks just like
you."
Her hand glides down his arm and she looks tearfully into
his eyes. He fears a trip down memory lane, but it was her
process.
She would always consider her only son to be her
baby.
Besides, he was feeling slightly emotional anyway.
"Your
father was so very proud. He even started crying."
Shikamaru and
Yoshino both chuckle at the image.
"Though whether it was from
happiness or relief that the 36 hours of labor he'd been through
were over, I don't know."
Shikamaru chuckles quietly again.
His father always had been a bit sappy.
Of course, now that
Shikamaru had his own babies, he understood the feeling very
well.
Fatherhood, that is.
The baby shifts in his blue blankets and yawns, worn out as much as his mother from the birth.
Father and grandmother both watch the babe for awhile,
Yoshino caressing the petite hands as they grasped onto the
blankets.
Shikamaru yawned and turned his head away, dodging a
glance at his bride, who was fast asleep, softly breathing.
"Your
father would be so proud of you, Shikamaru. He always was, in
everything you did."
He smiles softly.
Why did everything
always come back to his father?
'Because I'm becoming
him…'
"Yeah, I know."
A solemn silence
ensued, and as tears brimmed in Shikamaru's eyes, he realized just
how tired he was.
He yawned again, and Yoshino smiled
knowingly.
"Here, let me take him. You go get some shut eye, Shikamaru."
"Thank you, mother."
He gratefully
kissed her cheek and handed over his new son to his mother.
"Sweet
dreams."
**********
He woke up around dawn, with Temari and his son still fast asleep in their beds.
There was an assortment of gifts lying around the
room.
Flowers.
Balloons.
Chocolates and bears.
The usual
gifts.
He stretched and stood up, browsing through some of the
cards.
He couldn't find one from Ino or Chouji, and had assumed
that they were already on their way from Konoha.
He would also see
his wife's family and his daughter today.
The only person that wouldn't be here was his father.
Shikamaru shoved his
hands in his pocket and sighed, walking over to Temari's
bedside.
He watched her for a bit, brushing the hair from her
face.
She glowed a bit, Shikamaru thought. He wanted badly to take
a picture of this peaceful moment, but thought better of it.
Temari
would yell at him for wasting film on her when he should be taking
pictures of their family and the baby.
Their baby.
His
son.
After picking up a cup of warm coffee from the break room, he headed toward the nursery.
Standing in front of the
glass, he quickly picked out his son from the bunch.
Dressed from
head to toe in a green onesie, he was fast asleep on his back.
He
smiled, barely believing that such a thing could be possible for
him.
A son.
'Father…was this the feeling you were talking about?'
Shikaku had died while Shikamaru had
been on a mission nearly 5 months ago.
His mother moved with
Shikamaru and Temari to Suna for a while, just to gather her
bearings.
She said that she needed a family to hold on to.
'Who's taking care of the deer?' he sipped his coffee once more, as he watched a nurse step into the nursery, checking on each of the tiny babies. 'I suppose I'll have to make a trip down there with mother to help out. How troublesome…'
"He has your nose, Shikamaru." Startled, Shikamaru turned around, only to see nothing behind him. He couldn't sense anyone in the halls either, save for himself and the new souls on the other side of the glass.
"Strange…" he murmured. "That sounded like the
old man…"
"Heh, show some respect for the dead, will
ya?"
Shikamaru just closed his eyes.
He was simply too
tired and his brain was imagining things. It was a figment of his
imagination because his father died not long ago and he was talking
about him with his mother.
It wasn't real.
Just ignore
it.
He just sipped his coffee, and opened his eyes once
again.
Only to come face to face with his father's image
reflected in the glass.
"What the…"
"Settle down,"
the voice said. "It's only me."
"I…I've got to be
dreaming…"
The vision of his father smiled.
"Chalk it up
to that, then."
The vision turned and seemed to be looking in
the direction of his baby. "He's got her lips, though. And her
chin. Other than that, he's all you."
"Y-yeah." Shikamaru
replied, not really knowing why.
Silence ensued after awhile, the
vision not saying anything. Shikamaru assumed that it had dissipated
and was glad for it.
Otherwise, he'd have check himself into the
psych ward ASAP.
Then again, he still might.
He felt a warm
hand on his shoulder.
"You did a good job, son. You've raised
a beautiful family."
It sounded too much like his father for
Shikamaru's throat not to choke up. And the hand on his shoulder
was just too…real.
Even if it was a dream, he didn't care
anymore.
"Y-yeah. They're great."
"You're a damn good
father."
He laughed and pinched his eyes, trying to keep from
falling apart.
The warm hand seemed to squeeze his shoulder.
"And
I never really said this before but…I'm proud of you. More than
you know."
The hand moved to his back in a hugging gesture.
And
that was it.
A gasp, and then "Jeez, dad…you have troublesome
timing."
He couldn't stop the tears this time.
There was no
response, but he still felt the warmth on his back.
He opened his
eyes, and he could hardly see through his blurry vision, but turned
where he felt the hand.
"I just wish you could be here…and
hold him."
No response. The hand had left his back.
"No,
it's okay. I already know what it's like to hold the perfect
son."
"Shikamaru?"
Temari was startled when her husband turned and his eyes were red and puffy. She smiled softly, her blond hair down and bouncing around her shoulders as she walked toward him.
"You big crybaby." She wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Are you okay?"
"Temari!
I'm fine, but what are you doing out of bed?"
"Seeing our
baby, of course, genius."
He smiled at her, but she was already
opening the door to the nursery and walking to her son.
The nurse
just watched as Shikamaru followed his wife.
She picked him up
and held him as if she'd done it a million times before, cradling
him in her arms.
"Hey there, little man." She whispered. "It's
nice to finally meetcha. I'm your mom, and this tall guy behind me
is your papa."
She bounced him, and her glow
brightened.
Shikamaru put an arm around her shoulders, and looked
down at the bundle of green and fuzzy brown hair.
"Well, you
have your son now. What do we call him? I was
thinking…"
"Shikai."
Temari glanced up at him, but he
was looking down at their child.
"Shikai?" she tasted the
word, then looked down at the baby. She smiled.
"Shikai. It's
perfect."
"Yeah, he is."
"…After your father,
Shikamaru?"
He looked at her this time.
"No. After my
family."
She grinned broadly, her jade eyes sparkling.
God,
she was so beautiful.
He kissed her and his hand slid from her
shoulder to her waist.
He pulled away and they looked into each other's eyes, undefinable words being spoken between them.
After the baby started gurgling and making noise, Temari's mommy senses interpreted that as the baby being hungry, and moved away to the rocking chair to feed him.
He just stood by
and watched them.
Fatherhood, he thought, suited him. Just like it
suited his father.
And he would take his family to live on their
land.
To raise them, and love them, and give them everything he
had and more.
They were his life.
He took a deep breath and sighed, ready to begin anew.
'Just keep breathing,' he thought.'Because this is what life is.'