Disclaimer: Don't own; won't profit.

Author's note: When "post holiday fic!" turns into "post-holiday fic". Written in about an hour, mostly because of a late-night drive through Chinatown.

fish for ashes presents

because of kangaroos

Two days after New Years' Eve, they were walking (and not holding hands, but it was a near thing) on Bowery Street. It delighted Naruto, for some reason, to walk along a long line of lighting stores. New York Lighting next to Lendy Lighting, Classic Lighting next to Light Visions, and Benny's Crystal De Light across the street. All the lamps and bulbs and chandeliers in the display windows made the street very bright, even if it was ten o'clock on a quietly wintry night and all of the stores were closed anyway.

"So bright, we won't have to worry about getting our asses jumped," Naruto said a little too loud for the empty street. "Though," Naruto added thoughtfully, "we could totally take wannabe gangsters any day. Right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't say anything.

It was a stupid question.

On Sasuke's side, it was raining kisses, though erratically. A kiss dropped onto the line of his cheekbone, another splashed on the corner of his mouth, and yet another fallen onto the angle of his jaw. Hands everywhere, too – an arm sliding briefly around the narrow waist and then retracted, a light and unnecessary touch (which lingered long enough to be deliberate and that's how one knew), and restless fingers.

After maybe the seventeenth kiss-touch, and when they had finally reached the end of the lighting stores (Lumen Lighting was the last one on the street), Sasuke looked at Naruto that way. It was that strange mix of what the fuck are you doing again and yet you're my stupid idiot and even a little of that dim awe, that secret wondering of why he had a stupid idiot to look at like that in the first place. And Naruto couldn't really explain the kissing and touching, and really didn't want to.

Naruto only said, quite frankly, with only the faintest trace of a mischievous grin: "Can't stop. Just 'cause. I know you think you're irresistible, bastard. You should be used to it."

But of course Sasuke wasn't used to it, and so tried not to notice it too much when he felt a kiss pressed through the black wool of his coat and onto his shoulder.

It was a little weird, sort of pleasant, and somewhat Naruto-like. Naruto-in-love-like, or maybe Naruto-in-love-comforting-his-love-like.

About twelve hours earlier, Sasuke and Naruto had woken up to find that, groggily peering out their apartment window, Sasuke's Porsche Boxster was not where Sasuke had parked it across the street last night. And watching Sasuke coldly glaring at various pieces of furniture around the apartment, Naruto had dialed up their friends for a night out after he finished reporting the stolen car to the police.

It didn't work the way Naruto thought it would, the night out – everyone was still a bit woolly-headed from the parties of the last few days and remembered the hangovers well enough to politely decline the idea of alcohol – but Naruto had liked seeing their friends and didn't mind so much having a sober, but warm, two hours in the Century Café, having dim sum and coffee in a corner table while Sasuke tried not to think dark thoughts about the asshole who stole his car.

"Don't worry, it'll turn up," all their friends had said.

"Hell, the guy'll probably shit his pants when he realizes he stole an Uchiha's car. And then it'll probably turn up newly waxed with a giant red bow on it. Haha." Kiba didn't need to be drunk to make remarks like that.

And now they were walking home and it was nine fucking degrees outside. Dim sum and coffee and the interior heating of a little Chinese café provided only transient warmth, unfortunately. Naruto was dropping kisses – was that for warmth or was it the same as dropping hints? Perhaps they were at the cusp of something dramatic. Perhaps Naruto was about to announce that he had fallen in love with a woman after all (perhaps the one at the Laundromat who was always smiling at him). Perhaps Naruto was about to announce that he'd suddenly developed an undying desire to roam the interior of the Australian continent, and that regrettably, he was leaving Sasuke for kangaroos.

Kangaroos.

And so,

"Naruto, do you want to get married?"

Sasuke didn't mean to say it quite then. He hadn't planned to say it at this exact moment after leaving the lighted street after an impromptu get-together with their friends. He hadn't really planned to say it all today really. But it was something that Sasuke had been thinking about, lately and distantly, and now that it was out of his mouth Sasuke didn't particularly regret it. He waited and wondered if it was him or did it just get colder.

And then Naruto punched the black-wool covered shoulder he'd just kissed. He was furious.

"Oh hell no," Naruto growled.

Sasuke wasn't ever going to admit that his heart broke a little bit then, but it did. Just a little bit. Sasuke was pissed, too. A goddamned bad day, Sasuke thought.

But it wasn't the end. Naruto never ended when Sasuke thought he would.

"You fucking knew. Sasuke! You're so fucking mean sometimes." Naruto was talking rather quickly and angrily. "Why the hell do you always have to one-up me? You're such a bastard, bastard."

It was all a little what the fuck to Sasuke.

And so,

"What the fuck are you going on about, idiot?"

Naruto made an indistinct, somewhat-frustrated noise and punched Sasuke in the arm again. "Is it coincidence, then, that we're both carrying around – I assume you're carrying around – is there something like this in your back pocket somewhere?" Naruto fished around in his own back pocket and emerged with a simple gold band in his palm. And those blue eyes glared up a maelstrom at him, and Sasuke –

Well, Sasuke stared.

"Actually, I'm not carrying one of those around." Sasuke said slowly.

And Naruto stared.

It was an awfully quiet moment.

"Please tell me that, then, was a marriage proposal that you happened to beat me to, and that I did not completely make a fool out of myself over a theoretical question." Naruto said faintly.

Sasuke thought about making Naruto suffer, just a little bit, but in the end, Sasuke wasn't quite that cruel and in the end, he really did love the idiot, and so simply said:

"Yes, I beat you to it, moron."

And then Naruto resumed walking and Sasuke supposed that meant that he was supposed to follow his idiot love. And then Naruto started talking about how he was gonna ask Sasuke to marry him soon, and then Sasuke's car got stolen and then Naruto figured that it was a sign to wait another week or something and then he was just feeling extra awesome tonight and then Sasuke had to go and promptly destroy Naruto's wonderful plot to pop the question. But then, Naruto mused, he was rather proud that his emotionally and socially challenged Sasuke-bastard was able propose – "sort of, it kind of sucked; no style points for you, bastard" – in the first place. ("No ring, too. But you were being spontaneous. God, the world must be ending.")

And Naruto kept talking all the way to the apartment, and in lieu of the new turn of events, Sasuke was able to almost forget about how cold it was and how his Boxster was gone. Later, Sasuke would be able to completely forget those things for the post-holiday slash engagement hot sex that inevitably ensued. And it was easier, later, to conclude privately that, all in all, considering the circumstances, it had been a strange but kind of wonderful night.

Author's note: Like the Snuffalofagus, except more like Fluffalofagus.

Unedited, go ahead and skewer. Love to everyone, and comments loved.