Okay Everybody. I'm Back. Did you Miss me? Probably Not. I don't have that many fans. But anyway here is my new story. It used to be my weakness but my sister gave me the idea of naming it Somebody save me. So here goes. I took "Button Button" from Go Ask Alice.

Mistakes. They seem to be a big part of my life. Because I make a lot of them.

Mistake One-Falling down the stairs.

Gosh. I am so clumsy. If there were like an "Idiot Award" I would have definitely won it for my performance in " How to fall down the steps." Anyway. I walked into the bathroom. My head was killing me. I ran my hands through my hair trailing it with blood. I leaned my head against the cooling glass. I lifted my head up and stared at my self in the mirror. I looked messed up. I opened the mirror door. I reached into the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of painkillers. I shook some out without caring to read the dosage label. Because I was that kind of bad boy. That was just how I rolled. I popped them into my mouth. I washed off the blood. And fixed my hair. I closed the mirror door and saw my mom standing there. " Hey Joey. How are you feeling? Are you sure you are up for the show tonight?" I knew I didn't want to go on stage. I never wanted to go on stage any more. It wasn't any fun. I only did it for my fans who were becoming something that I didn't care so much about. But I had no choice. " Yeah Mom, I'm feeling better already." I lied.

Mistake Two- Going on stage

After taking those pills my performance wasn't so great. I was good but I was a little off my game. We got off stage for a break. " Hey Joe are you okay?" Hannah Asked when we got off stage. She was a good friend but was really nosey. It kind of got on my nerves. Especially when she would hang around Nick practically throwing herself at him. " Yeah. I'm fine. " I said starting to walking away. Nick grabbed my arm. "Are you sure. You seem a little distant" " I'm Okay." I lied. I was never okay. I hated doing this but I could never tell anybody that. I was " A Jonas Brother." That's the way it was and that was how it had to stay. It felt like everything slowed down when I shook Nick's hand off my arm. It was like I was walking in slow motion. Which was great because I always felt everything was moving too fast. And I just wanted it to slow down.

Mistake Three- Taking those pills

I know I took them before I went on stage but I guess taking those pills were a bigger mistake. When I got home I rushed upstairs telling everybody I was tired. I went to room and took like four more of those pills. I flopped on my bed waiting for everything to blur into one and slow down. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

Mistakes Four-Experimenting

This mistake happened a couple of weeks after I first fell down the stairs. We had went to an after-party at one of the bands house and I guess I walked into the wrong room, because I walked in and there were two guys kneeling over a table, one guy in the back smoking and one guy carrying a tray of cokes. One of the guys came up to me. He said his name was Brian. He put his arm around my shoulder and led me in. I sat down on couch next to him. He looked at me. "Hey do you want to play a game called 'Button Button Who's got the Button.' " I nodded feeling unsure of what was going on. He handed me a Coke and I took a long gulp. I looked around seeing everyone else taking sips. Suddenly my eyes flooded with colors and everything started to twisting and turning. Purple and blue lights flashed in my vision that weren't there before. Wh-What's going on?" I asked and Brian answered, "Your tripping. Is this your first time?" I nodded. "Well this ought to be fun."He grinned and turned up the music. It seemed to pulse through me. I tried to stand up and fell. I had never felt anything like this. It was amazing. Colors were everywhere and I was super aware of everything yet totally out of touch. Everything was so surreal. I looked at a poster on the wall and it was like I could see every pixel it was made of. It was awesome. A few hours later Hannah and Kevin found me laying in the middle of the hallway. Kevin carried me to the car and we rode home. No one asked about why I was in the hall and I didn't care to tell them. The next morning I woke up with a headache from the night before. But the vivid memory of the night before was way more persuading then the small headache. That night I went back over there and I asked what was in those cokes. He said that they had hidden LSD in some of them and I was lucky enough to get the right coke. While I was there I saw some guys smoking and sniffing some stuff. I asked could I try some and the let me. I tried smoking something someone put in front of me and it was better than the night before. I got home and went straight to my room ignoring questions knowing I was totally messed up. From then on I kept using drugs, mostly pot and cocaine. I snorted it before our shows usually. It made it just a little more fun. But whenever I couldn't get anything I just took stuff from our medicine cabinets. That was enough to get me high. No one really noticed my behavior except Hannah/Miley's friend Lola. She was way cool and her hair reminded me of one of my trips. Anyway she was always asking me was I high, which I totally denied but I think she knew. She would like pick me up when I was too high or drunk to even walk., She was always saying that I needed help. But one day mom was cleaning out the cabinets and noticed., She yelled downstairs. "Hey guys, Have you noticed we are a little down on our medicine?" Everyone yelled no including me. I pretended I had no idea. Even though all the missing medicine was in my drawer. I had to be more careful.

Mistake Five-Getting caught

That had to be the dumbest thing I had ever did. Even dumber than falling down the stairs. After mom was suspicious about the medicine. How could I have gotten caught. ,I am so, so, so stupid. Gosh. I had walked into the house and into my room where my mom was sitting on my bed crying. I looked at her "What's up Ma?"I asked. She looked up at me. Her eyes were red. ,She looked angry and sad at the same time. "What's up?" She began. "What's up. You tell me what's up. "What is this."She held up a box where I kept everything. "Uh Ma-" I stammered and she started screaming. "What is this Joseph? Are you taking drugs now?" She took out a bottle of assorted pills. "Is this where our medicine has been going huh?" She threw the bottle at me and it hit the wall and scattered. She threw a bag of white powder at me. I bent down to pick it up. "What is this? Get up. Are you honestly going to crawl all over the ground for your precious drugs? Huh? Answer Me!" I opened my mouth to say something but she flopped down on my bed and began crying more. "Why Joseph. Why would you do this." I took a step closer. " Ma it's not what you think." I put my hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off. "Don't touch me. Explain Why?" She asked and stood up. I couldn't say anything. "Why?" She cried again." "Because. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being me. I'm tired of living the dream. I tired of being watched over. I just wanted to be alone." I heard a sniffle. I turned around and saw everybody standing behind me. Everyone was staring at me weirdly. My dad stepped closer to me. "Joe we just want to help you and understand your problem." Help me" I said skeptically. "I don't need help, and I don't have problem." He looked me straight in the eyes and put his hands on my face. "Joseph, Are you high right now?' I couldn't believe him. I pushed his hands off my face. " Of course I'm not high." "Are you sure Joseph. We just want to help you." He took another step forward. " I told you I don't need help." "Joseph-" I screamed. "I told you I don't need any damn help." I pushed him and he almost fell. " Joseph are the drugs making you act like that?" I got angrier.

Mistake Six-Attempting to hit my dad

Yeah that was stupid. I took a step toward him. "No. it's not the drugs. It's you always pressuring me. I'm getting tired of it." I lunged at him and Kevin stepped in the way. I tried to push past him and he grabbed my arms and pinned me to the ground. I swung at him my fist contacting his face, but he didn't hit me. I kept swinging and he just let me hit him. "Get off of me!" I screamed. " No Joseph, your out of control." He said. I rolled over pushing him off of me. " I'm tired of being in control." I stood up and walked to the door where Frankie and Nick were. A tear fell from Frankie's eye and Nick looked away. I walked out side to calm down. I went back inside about five minutes later when everyone cleared my room and grabbed some things. In less than thirty minutes I was riding away from my home going no where.

Mistake Seven-Leaving home

Leaving home. I never thought I would miss it. My mom, my dad. my brothers. I had left home and I couldn't go back. I had been crashing on Lily's couch until I could find a place to stay. I had found an apartment still in the 'Bu. (Malibu. I just like to call it that.) I had been away for like 9 months now, and it's hard to admit but I missed everything. I began feeling like there was an empty void from being away so long so I tried to fill it with drugs. I tried all kinds of drugs. Which put me in a bad place because I was losing money fast. There was one time that I had to something really bad for the drugs. I remember it like it was yesterday. It probably was I had lost track of time. I walked into my apartment and snorted the cocaine. The drug I did most. I walked over to my mirror and ran my hand through my hair. Something glittered. I looked at my ring. My purity ring. I walked over to my and sat on the floor beside of it. Leaning against it, my eyes still glued to it. I stared at it. I wasn't pure anymore. The things I did for those drugs were the farthest thing from pure. I took of my ring and held it between my fingers. The only way I was able to keep this apartment was because I slept with my landlord. I felt my eyes tear up. Nothing I ever do is pure. I threw the ring across the room. Tears finally fell. I'm not pure anymore.

Mistake Eight-Giving up hope

Well that's it. tell me what you think. Please review. The more you revieew the more i write. I probably just lost a lot of reviewers by saying that. Well anyway, Review.